Hi everyone, my name is Mike, and I'm dead.
Going back in time, I jump--fell off a bridge, combined with my talent for swimming, I drowned at speeds worthy of a trophy.
Afterward, I woke up and found myself in a weird state of death. In this state, I couldn't see or move and was still in the water. To pass the time, I began to chat with you all, my amigos.
Time passed by and it has been, maybe 4 months since I was in this weird situation. With all the water gone and being able to move my limbs, I am certain I'm not dead. Thinking how fate spread her legs for me, I opened my eyes.
What I saw was something dazzling, Incredible, majestic, I didn't see crap. Even after my eyes adapted to the darkness I still couldn't see.
That being the case, I tried lifting my hands that were on the floor. My body was strangely in a doggy-style position, could only hope I wasn't raped.
Am I a dog? Ignoring such a thought, I raised my hand, or should I say paw up, and began to feel up my surrounding.
After a while of touching, I believed I was trapped in a dome. The walls of the dome felt hard and moist, luckily not unbreakable.
Being on the safe side, friends, I need your help, please.
Oh yeah, I'm talking to myself.
Kind of sad.
I'm in solitary confinement, what did I do to deserve this? I may have killed many people in the war, but aren't I also saving lives by killing them?. My actions although led to the destruction of countless cities, they would've been destroyed given enough time. Although I did use a nuke of a certain scientific country on themselves, wiping them out, they threatened me first.
My actions might sound bad, but I had reasons, important ones.
It was for the greater good, it was for world peace, it was for the 'Will of fire'.
It was for money.
What? I'm Kakuzu of reality, deal with it.
I don't know where you came from, but here wars never end. A wise important pacifist once said, 'Peace was never an option.'
He also said, 'Every hole is a goal,' but let's not talk about the dude's private life.
I'm talking about a pacifist who believed that war was inevitable. He was like, 'Peace can only be found through war,'
So you see, I don't deserve solitary confinement, nobody does, except the pedophiles.
Now that we establish how good and righteous I'm, can we change my prison?
I don't want much, just a comfy bed, tasty food, entertainment, and hot babes.
No?
Then I'll break out from this filthy prison and f*ck your mothers.
I believe that some things can only be done with my two trusty paws.
Thinking about how I'm most likely a dog. Am I captured by the government because of my handsomeness, and was experimented on, or is it the Aliens?
Both seem likely.
To break out, all I need to do is give this all a good old smack.
*smack* *smack* *smack*
Why hasn't it broken yet? I smack it three times already, nothing should be able to stop the almighty smack.
Looking at my paws once more, disappointingly I don't have claws. Otherwise, I would've gone all Wolverine on that wall.
I turned around and put all my strength into my back legs and kicked. The whole dome shattered with my powerful kick. I bestow this move the name, Justice Kick, hahaha. It didn't take long before the light hit me and... it burns!
...
My eyes took much longer than I expected to adjust. What caught my sight was this huge forest, I couldn't even see the top of a tree and the grass was reaching my legs. My nose twitches, making me notice my whiskers.
I got whiskers.
Maybe I didn't jump off the bridge but took in a sh*t ton of drugs. If not I died, and reincarnated as a what, a slime?
Feeling a shadow blocking my light I glared forward at a... Raticate! The height difference is like a cat to a mouse.
Sorry I had not seen Mount Tai.
Besides Raticate was an Ambipom who was looking at Raticate, lovingly?
Raticate started walking towards me. I just reincarnated, am I going to die already? Raticate could swallow me down whole, even if my body instinctively feels safe, why would I trust it?
Last time I trust my instincts I jumped off a bridge--into a bowl of jelly, hahaha, quite a weird dream.
It licked me! It licked me! I'm so studying thinking that I got licked.
...
*grumble* That wasn't me.
Looking at the white shells on the ground, my handsome whiskers, and the two pokemons in front of me, I'm certain.
My name shall no longer be Mike Marshall, I'm now Rattata D Mike, the next Raticate king.
Now that I know what's going on. I shall ignore all thoughts on why a monkey bang a rat, and eat my shells in peace.
I picked up the eggshell and... I ate it.
I munched the shell, it was noisy, it was bland, yet enjoyable. After 10 minutes I ate it all up and was satisfied.
"Rattata," I said cheerfully trying to show my gratitude, for what? Being born. In my past life, women, gold, novels, and anime were my only enjoyment. No time to make friends with so much war, no chance either since everyone fears me after killing off a bastard that gave me a bad nickname.
That same name introduced me to anime as well, Mercenary Kakuzu. If I knew that Kakuzu was. a bounty hunter back then, I would've tortured the fool. How could a bounty hunter compare to mercenaries, they are demons, while mercenaries on the other hand are war heroes.
"Ambipom," Ambipom responded picking me up with its tail arm and putting me on Raticate.
Hahaha, I don't know what on earth Ambipom said, but I, Rattata D Mike, will learn the language of the gods. After a good night's rest(It's morning).
Falling asleep on Raticate's back, Professor Oak's voice sounded in my head,
'Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?'