I had spent the last few days dwelling on everything that happened that night. Josh barely got released late last night so he was resting. He couldn't comfort me yet. I was emotional and torn up. I couldn't wrap my mind around why Alan murdered Celeste or why he would even want to. I just spent so much time thinking about Alan, I hated to do it again but I couldn't stop.
Alan had no connection to Celeste what so ever. I don't even know how he figured out where she lived yet alone who she was.
Aunt Cheri knocked on my door. It was breakfast time.
"No thanks." I brush her off, never looking away from my window.
"You have to eat something. It's been three days since you last ate." She sits next to me. She has the breakfast on one of those bed trays. "For the baby."
"The one you don't even want me to have?" I glare at her for a moment then look back to the window.
"I was just thinking about that psycho. It's his baby you know." She clicks her tongue. She sets down the plate on my window seal.
She tries to hug me but I stand up and face her.
"I don't want your comfort." I snap.
"You're really upset with me? I was just trying to get you to think this through!" She pleads.
"I did think this through, we all had a plan!" I'm about to cry. "We were all going to live in a house together and we would all juggle school and a kid. We would've been the perfect friend group," I break down. "And now it's all gone. She's not coming back. First Anne, second my mom abandoned me one final time, and now my good fucking friend was murdered! It was all because of me." I started to smack myself on the head and eventually I punched myself. Aunt Cheri held my hands down. She embraces me.
"There there." She says. She slowly lets go and I wrap my arms around her. I cry into her shoulder.
She lets me cry for a few minutes and then she force feeds me. Mostly the eggs because of the baby.
"I'll support you, no matter what you decide to do. I'll be here to help you. Always." She says to me. "I love you like you're my daughter." She pets my head.
"I love you like you're my mom." I lean my head on her shoulder.
"You better." She laughs and for the first time in days, I do too.
In the afternoon, Josh comes over. He tells me they cleared his name and the past couple nights in a cell were lonely.
"Can you hold me?" He asks and he makes puppy eyes. I nod my head. He lays down on my bed and I lay behind him. I hear him silently cry for a little until we both fall asleep.
When we wake up, Sarah is at the door.
"We need to have a family meeting." She mumbles. She rolls her eyes at me and then heads downstairs.
"She totally hates me now." I mention to Josh.
"I think you might be right," he laughs. "It'll be okay." He gives me a light kiss.
"Will it now? Hmm" I say and laugh. "Too soon?"
"She's laughing from below us." He smirks
We head down and we see Aunt Cheri and Sarah sipping coffee in the matching set. Theyre sitting side by side, both maintaining eye contact with us. They're sitting at the kitchen table. Josh and I sit across from them, holding hands to show were a team.
"So," Aunt Cheri says breaking some of the tension. Sarah was eyeing me hard.
"I just want to know why my son out of all people? Just the other week you were crying about how you think you're bisexual!" Sarah snaps.
"Because I am!" I defend myself. "How was I suppose to know I was going to get pregnant? I used protection!"
"Yeah right," Sarah scoffs. "So what? You suddenly love him now? Just so he can raise YOUR kid?" She sips her coffee.
"You know you better talk to her nicely," Josh says. "Cause wether you like it or not MOM, I'm raising that child as my own."
"Like hell you are," she laughs. "I'll cut you off." Aunt Cheri and I gasp.
"Sarah don't you think that's a little rash hon?" Aunt Cheri says.
"No i don't!" Sarah stands. "How Can you sit there and let them do this! We're suppose to be a team…" she looks over at us then back to Aunt Cheri.
"Oof guess the secrets out." I say. Full attitude shot to Sarah. Because fuck her too.
"I've had quite enough of you. Honestly." Sarah says to me. I scoff and laugh at her.
"Sarah you need to back off." Aunt Cheri warns. "So what? The condom broke. At least she's dealing with the consequences. And so what if they're together now? If it's not Josh, it'll be another Alan!"
"My Josh deserves his own child to raise. He shouldn't be dealt this hand just because he's too young to realize he's screwing up his life! What about the scholarship you got? That full ride for the nursing program?!" Sarah snaps and Josh's face drops. He never mentioned he got a scholarship. Figures.
"Wait you got a scholarship? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask him.
"Full ride too," Sarah adds. Josh shoots her a glare and then looks back at me.
"We already had a plan.." he defends. "I didn't know how to tell you. I knew you'd make me go."
"Yes because how could you ruin your future for me? No wonder your mom fucking hates me now!" I tug at my hair. I see Sarah grinning as she's sipping on her mug. I give her a nasty look and roll my eyes and center my attention back on the boy who's ruining his life for me and my kid.
"It's in Arizona…" he defends himself. "I would have to live there.."
"The point is he chose you." Aunt Cheri says. "We just need to come up with a plan.."
But they muted out as soon as I realized what I was doing.
I was taking away all of Josh's future possibilities. Like how he could get straight A's throughout his four years and he could probably graduate soon or just on time. He could meet a pretty girl during his last year who isn't a teen mom. One who likes like a combination of Alice's and my best features. He could meet new friends and people and go out, enjoy his life and early 20's. He would get into a good nursing job where he would be running around and helping out injured people. But instead for the next few years he'd be helping me change diapers while we both struggle through school and life, just skating by and learning how to hate one another.
"I'm sorry Josh," I stand. Sarah's grin bigger than ever and she gives me a smile. It was an 'I won' smile, then I look back to Josh and say "But we're over."