JOSH
I go up to ring the bell but the door is opened for me immediately. A familiar face opens the door.
"Alice.." I say and look down. She's fucking pregnant.
"Surprise!" She says with a smile and jazz hands.
"Is it..?" I try to make out the words but can't as I'm frozen in time. How could this be? Was this even real?
She nods. "Very strong possibility. Like eighty percent." She shrugs.
"What do you mean eighty?!" I feel my blood boil. Why does she think everything is a damn game?
God she'd be the worst mother ever.
She starts looking at me like I'm retarded or something so I give her a look with my brows raised.
"Well you know. We were friends with benefits." She chuckles lightly. "I did sleep with one other guy though shortly after." She adds.
And I don't know if it's how angry she's making me or the pure shock that I may be a dad after all, but I pass the fuck out. Falling backwards.
ARIEL
If I was in Alice's shoes, I guess I too would be pleading for my baby. I had to stand there and think about everything she did. I thought about how she knew I was almost assaulted and her reaction was to call me a whore. I thought about how she found out who my secret lover was and her reaction was to date him. I thought about how she hated me so much after all that, she exposed my nudes and practically ran me off social media. So hateful of me that she had jumped me with her squad. And I thought about forgiveness. How if I don't ever forgive her, maybe she'll drive herself into a mad depression mixed with heavy guilt, she could off herself. And no matter how much I hated her, I would never wish that on anyone.
And it was time to forgive everything.
Because if I hold on to the past, to all the anger, loss, pain, and everything else that sucks about life, then I'm the only one who truly suffers. So I did the mature thing for once in my life and maybe I'll regret it. But I can't keep holding on to that hate.
"Okay but I want it in writing." I say.
"OhMYGOD!" She jumps up and down and hugs me but not too tight. "THANKYOU THANKYOU! You saved my life." She weeps on my shoulder. I Pat her back awkwardly.
"Will you ever tell us who the other possible baby daddy is?" I half whisper.
Her hair smells of coconut.
"Only if the DNA test shows it's his." She mumbles. She lets go and looks at me. Her hands on my shoulders, "I really am sorry."
"I know." I half smile. "I'm sorry if we're both baking future Dexters."
"Reality sucks." She sighs.
Josh finally showed up the next day. Janice invited Alice to spend the night and it was almost like old times. Although I may have forgiven her, I knew I could never trust her again. So yes I braided her hair but she only brushed mine. I let her hang with me until bedtime but she had to sleep in her own bed.
Alice answered the door for Josh and he passed out once he learned the baby might be his. Janice and I had to help him in and we tried our hardest to lay him on the couch so he was comfortable but we failed. We weren't that strong and he was heavy. He was half way on there. A leg and an arm wouldn't go up on the couch. He was laying on his belly.
Alice put a pillow underneath his head and sat next to him. Waiting for him to wake up.
After a couple hours, Josh finally gets up.
I was sitting across from them. Watching Alice care more than she's ever cared about anything really ignited the jealousy in my veins. I was playing out what it would be like if I said something.
"You know we're still in love right?" I snap.
"You can love each other all you want. He's helping raise his child." She rolls her eyes.
"If it's even his." I chuckle.
"Way better off than yours." She scoffs.
"Don't forget about the twenty percent." I wink. And she jumps out her seat and punches me on my right cheek.
But we're both pregnant and I mask my emotions because we're not together and it's all my fault.
She brushes his hair softly with her right hand. She lets out a small smile. And for the first time I realize the loss of our relationship. I'm the one who said goodbye and asked for space. I pushed him away and now I know I'll regret it forever.
"So what happened between you two?" She finally asks. "I heard you guys split after your friend passed. I'm sorry about it."
"Sorry Alice but I don't think you need to know." I say sharply. "Sorry but I'm not over him and I was foolish."
"I guess I was right," she smirks and her face drops. She stops petting his hair. She gets up and leaves the room.
I take her seat for a moment. And I look at him while he's sleeping. Admiring every little hair and the way his lips are shaped.
His upper lip is slightly smaller than his lower. His eyebrows are a good shape without a unibrow and small hairs on the outer end poke out. He has freckles all over his face. He also has a bit of facial hair growing out. God I miss him. I love him so much. I wanted to shout it from the rooftop.
He finally wakes up and sees me staring at him.
"Hi," he says and starts to sit up.
"Hey." I smile.
"You were totally watching me sleep." A small smile forms on his lips.
"No i wasn't." I deny it. "I thought I saw a fuzzy on your upper lip but it was just hair." I tease.
"Yeah I need to shave," he chuckles nervously. "Where's Alice?"
"She just left the room real quick." I say unsure if she's returning.
"Am I really the dad?" He asks.
"According to her, eighty percent chance you are." I break eye contact. I want to tell him about how the other guy might be Alan and I might have a half sibling with Alice. But I don't.
"Who's the other guy?" He asks.
"She says she's not stupid enough to tell me." I laugh.
"Figures. She's got a nice new whip." He adds.
"Why thank you," Alice says as she enters the room. "I guess you stole my seat." She says to me as she goes and steals mine.
"You can have it back." I stand.
"No need," she fake smiles and I realized. She's totally in love with Josh and she's hoping that it is his baby.
It looks like we might fight overall.
"I can just leave you two to talk if you'd like." I offer.
"Yes" Alice says while Josh says "No."
"Oh?" I say confused on what to do.
"Please," Alice shoots me puppy eyes.
"Sorry," I say to Josh and walk away. I only walk to the kitchen though so I can eavesdrop.
The way the house was set up, the kitchen was in between the dining room, living room, and hallway. Like it was in the center of the bottom floor. There was a counter as well between the kitchen and living room and it had white shutters that were closed now. I sat on the high chair that was on the kitchen side of the counter, staring at the blank shutters.
"So what do you want to do about it?" Alice asks.
"I'm gonna want a dna test first." Josh says.
"We'll be waiting until the baby is born. Chance of miscarriage is high." She adds. "But I promise you can be there for everything and I'll open the results with you. No funny business."
"Wow," he sighs. "You seem different."
"Hopefully in a good way?" She lets out a small laugh.
"Surprisingly in a good way." He laughs. "But I'll never forgive you for jumping Ariel."
"Yeah that was a mistake. If only I had known what an asshole Alan would turn out to be." She lets out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry about your friend. I'm also sorry about everything I said and did to you. I had no right to make you feel guilty for not wanting to be with me."
"It's fine," he mumbles. "Shit is crazy these days." He lets out a small laugh. "You know Cheri and my mom are about to get married."
"Awe that's sweet. How are they?"
"Well Cheri is more cunty than ever and mom and I are going through something. You know she actually slapped Ariel while she was pregnant? That's why she's here."
"Oh?" Alice sounds like she's interested in the juice. Unless I want them to know I was listening in, I have to pretend this whole conversation isn't happening. "Sounds like you're still in love with Ariel and it's an unfortunate situation. I'm sorry."
"Don't be it's not your fault. I just wish it was different." He sighs. Deeply. "God you don't know how much I miss her and love her. I feel scummy too for leaving Celeste alone that night. Heartbreak and guilt mixed in one will lead to my suicide."
"Don't say that!" Alice snaps. "I know exactly what that's like… you are a strong person," she pauses. "If anyone can drag himself up while his legs are broken, it's you! You're an amazing guy Josh and anyone would be lucky to have you."
"You should tell Ariel to still love me." He lets out a fake laugh. And Alice laughs awkwardly.
"She still does clearly." She sounds hurt. "And so do I." She blurts.
"Alice, I…" Josh begins to say.
"I know. You're sorry that you don't love me," she sighs. "But maybe one day you can. I mean we're going to have a child together. If Ariel is done with you, then there's no point in sticking around for her."
"She's not done with me though," he snaps. "I can tell she still cares. I just can't tell if she misses me at all." And I wanted to yell how much I badly do. How much I wished he was next to me every goddamn day.
"Well then there's your answer." She sighs. "We need to talk about custody then if we don't end up together. I'm telling you now I call dibs on Christmas." She laughs.
"Can we wait to see the test before we make any decisions?" He asks awkwardly.
"Of course. No rush. If it's yours, will you be there?"
"Obviously!" He beams with joy. "How far along are you?"
"Almost seven months." She says. "Would you like to know the sex?"
"No gender reveal party?" He asks.
"No friends to attend said party," she laughs awkwardly. "Is that a no?"
"What about a baby shower?" He asks.
"Hardly any family would be there. Just my step mom and dad. Maybe a couple cousins and aunts. My sister wouldn't care. It's just not worth it. Step mommy dearest is spoiling the fuck out of me though." They laugh together. "I actually kind of like her now. She's really excited about the baby, she says it's changing me in a good way too."
"Well fuck. I guess you could just tell me now but I would've liked a gender reveal at least. I would add like double the people. It would be small." Another laugh together.
"I'm sorry Joshykins. You'll be delighted though," she giggles. "We've been blessed with a baby boy. He's going to be big I bet too. I gained a lot of weight and I hardly have increased my appetite."
"You are eating, right?" Josh sounds concerned.
"Yes I am, chill." She says.
I feel like their conversation should be over by now. I start to walk towards the hallway, far enough so it seems like I wasn't listening but close enough to where they can hear me if I'm loud.
"Can I come back yet? I'm bored." I shout.
"Yes come back!" Alice shouts back.
I walk towards them and I see that Josh was holding her hand. She was sitting in her original seat that i stole. He quickly releases once he sees me and sits back. He scoots away from her a little like I didn't notice.
"Am I interrupting anything?" I ask.
"No we're done here." Alice says and she stands up. "In fact, Im gonna go. Hopefully you can text me." She grabs my hands with hers. "I'm due March 17th, hopefully you'll both come to my doctors visit."
"When?" Josh asks.
"Next Monday." Alice says. "I'll text you before then."
"Yeah please let me know if anything ever happens. Don't be scared to call me." Josh says to her.
"Okay." She says and before she leaves she gives me a hug and then Josh. I walk her out the door.
"Bye Alice. Enjoy your day." I say as she walks away.
"Byeeeee!" She shouts as she unlocks and enters her car.
I close the door once she starts backing out. I turn my attention to Josh.
"Excited?" I ask.
"More like anxious, scared a little to be honest." Josh says. He's standing up now
"You're going to be the worlds greatest dad. You have nothing to be scared of." I say to him. I reach for his hands but he pulls away. "What's wrong?"
"You're not scared of being like your mom?" He asks.
Truth be told, I hadn't thought about a single damn thing. I hadn't thought about the beautiful picture that Alice painted for me as she bribed me with money. I hadn't thought about names, how id want them to look, or who id want them to be. I just hoped for a healthy baby. The only thing I ever thought about was raising a kid with my two most favorite people. Celeste left the world like Anne and Josh was slipping from my grip.
"Is that what you're so scared of?" I ask instead. "Being like you dad? Because if so you're such a good guy. I don't know why you'd ever think that."
"Because," he snaps. "I always told myself I would be in a solid situation first!" He poops down on the couch, hands folded in front of him. "I want a kid. Just not with her."
"Why?" I ask, so confused like she wasn't practically confessing her undying love.
"CAUSE I WANTED HER!" He shouts. "I wanted her after her wanting me so long and she just shat on it." He says in a normal tone. "Maybe I did and should've ended things when she practically refused to be your friend." He laughs. "The only other guy that I know would've hit that was your boy toy. Funny how he got up in you and I never could." He scoffs.
"Josh!" I snap. "How dare you?!"
"What do you mean how dare I?" He's starting to gesticulate. "How dare you?! You loved him so much you couldn't let go all that time! Did you forget that I was literally wiping your tears? Holding you close while I was in love with you? How dare you try to forget me when I would've given up everything for you? For a child that isn't even mine." He shouts. He stands up in a rush.
"What the actual fuck Josh! I never asked you to give up anything. In fact, I encouraged you to leave! I pushed you away so you could! Don't you realize how much I fucking love you? I miss you every single fucking day!" I'm crying now. "You don't get to say any of this to me. How dare you stick your raw fucking meat inside her?!! You knew how much of a bitch she was when Anne died and you still stuck it out with her." I clap my hands at that last part. "You're so unbelievable it's insane. I wanted so badly to tell Alice to go fuck herself cause she was all over you. It killed me to watch that. But you didn't see that."
"Ariel I…" he begins to say before I interrupt.
"You what? Had no idea? Just go home. Run off to your psychopath of a mom. Let her know how much you despise me. I'm sure she'd love another reason to hit me." I walk towards the door and open it. "Go."
"You really want to end this right here right now? Just like that?" He says almost like he wants to laugh.
"Yup." I say. "You made your bed. I hope Alice makes nice company."
He laughs and then scoffs.
"She sure does," he says as he bolts out the door and walks by me. He said it while looking into my eyes. My blood is so hot that I just slam the door.