I strode through campus in a hurry to get home. I felt frustrated with everything and everyone around me. My bag weighed down on my shoulder, causing a red strap mark to imprint on my skin until I threw it into the passenger seat.
I blew out a puff of air from my mouth and shut my eyes to the sound of silence surrounding me. After getting through one of my busier days in the week, I needed a little time to myself. To sleep, most of all.
The minute I stepped through the apartment, I dropped my bag on the table where I wouldn't be so overwhelmed by the sight of assignments I needed to complete in the coming week. I hardly had a break for anything anymore. Between my job at the library and college, I barely had a personal life.
I shut off my phone completely, not bearing the sound of notifications reminding me once again that there were things and people outside of my small room in this big city.
My head connected with the softness of my pillow as soon as I crawled into my bed. Within seconds of closing my eyes against the cool surface, I found sleep.
The following day after my classes finished, I headed to the library listening to my oldest playlist filled with my oldest songs. The hum of my car added a soft background noise which contributed to the piano and violin.
"Hey, Emma." Kate greeted me with her bright, soulful smile.
"How are you, Kate?" I greeted her.
"Exhausted. I need a weekend or two."
I chuckled and nodded, feeling the same way.
"Anyways, today's not too busy but there's still a stack of books on the bench over there." She pointed behind her right shoulder while she flicked through a book of her own.
"Reading anything good?" I asked her as I began scanning books and placing them in a small cart.
"Oh," She closed the book, and a soft, pink cloud formed on her cheeks. "It's alright."
"She's reading an erotic romance." Arthur cut in, leaning against the doorframe.
"I am not!" Kate raised her voice, far too defensively.
I giggled and shook my head. "It's alright, Kate, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"Embarrassed?" Arthur looked at me, his brows furrowed. "Why would anyone be embarrassed?" He shot his head to Kate, "Are you embarrassed, Kate?"
Kate's eyes went wide. "I am not reading an erotic romance!"
"Well, you should be." He informed her boldly. "With those two slimy kids you have, I bet you're not getting any action lately. And it shows."
I brought my hand to my mouth and turned my head trying in my best efforts to avoid laughing.
"You are one to talk. You're – what – eighty? Do things even work for you down in the nether regions?"
Arthur was not at all phased by Kate. On the contrary, he smirked and crossed his arms against his chest as he sat down on an office chair.
"I am delighted to inform you that I have my ways around those particular issues." He narrowed his eyes on her, "And I am not eighty. I am seventy-nine. There's a difference."
It wasn't possible, but if it was, fumes would have come out of Kate's ears at that moment.
Arthur swiveled in his chair like a restless child and faced me head-on.
"What about you, Emma? Any bachelors lining up?"
"Oh," I scanned another book. "err, I don't think so. No."
"Surely, there has to be someone. I remember when I was your age-"
"In the 1960s?" Kate laughed. "You remember that far back? I didn't know dinosaurs had such good memories."
Arthur squinted his eyes, "Make all the age jokes you want, but I remember being nineteen like it was yesterday."
"So you say..." Kate rolled her eyes.
"Really?" I asked him, curious. "What was it like?"
"Well. We didn't have all these fancy devices we do now. Everything was on paper; Schedules, assignments, everything. Especially in England, we had those old, small cars. But the women? Oh, the women..." He closed his eyes with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "The women were refined and delicate. Some more than others, of course, but all were sophisticated and still, graceful."
"Did you ever get married, Arthur?"
Kate looked at me.
"I did. Her name was Margaret. I called her Maggie." His tone dropped.
"What was she like?"
"She was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. The only person in the world who ever truly understood me for who I was." Arthur rested his spotted hands on his thighs, thumbing the creases. "She died a few years ago."
"I'm so sorry..."
I watched Arthur stand from his chair, grunting under his breath, and walk back to his office, closing the door behind him.
"Maggie passed away in her sleep," Kate told me once everything went quiet. "He began working here a few years before her death. She loved reading, so every week on Friday night, he would bring her a new book he knew she would love." Kate looked through the window into the office and then continued doing her tasks. "He's been here every day since. Never taken a day off."
I frowned.
"Don't feel so bad, though." Kate waved her hand. "He'll probably 'remind' you that you'll die lonely before him."
"He does that?" I snorted.
"Every day I'm here."
I carried out the cart filled with books and went through each aisle, placing each one in its designated spot. It was satisfying how each one fit perfectly between the gaps, all the while lowering the amount on my cart. Repeating this action many times, my head effortlessly began to wander to Aiden and Elijah.
It was obvious that the relationship between Elijah and I would be different now, to say the least. He hadn't come in today, nor the day before, so there hadn't been any chance to talk or clear things up between us. I knew that conversation would be difficult and awkward, so I understood why he wanted space and time.
Thinking about Aiden, however, was overwhelming and frustrating. I continued to replay our argument in my head, wishing I had said things differently, that I hadn't attacked him the way I had. I wished I could take the whole thing away and just begin again. But no matter how much I wanted it to happen, I knew that it wouldn't. Attempting it was pointless.
When I reached back to the main desk, my cart empty, I placed both of my elbows on the wood and looked at Kate, her eyes skimming over the computer screen. She hadn't even noticed I arrived.
"What are you up to?" I asked her when her face lit up.
"Online shopping." She grinned. "Want to join? They have some really cute blouses here."
With a smile, I grabbed a chair and slid it next to her, meeting the countless varieties of blouses ranging from long sleeves to off the shoulders. Every color imaginable there in front of us.
Kate and I spent the rest of our afternoon together looking at clothes and adding pieces we liked to an online cart. The library was empty apart from one woman who asked for assistance earlier, so we weren't in any rush to do other things.
When it came time to close the library, Arthur and Kate turned off all the lights and locked all of the doors, making sure everything was okay before we each left in our own cars.
Kate and I said goodbye, while Arthur just took a bite of his sandwich and drove off without a word.
"I'll see you in two days, right?"
"Yeah. Thanks again for the change in shifts. I promise it's only a one-time thing."
"Of course! Don't worry about it. If you ever need to change shifts or simply need more time, just let me know. I'm sure we can switch things around."
"Thank you, Kate. Have a good night!" I told her, getting into my car and starting the engine.
By the time I turned at the corner of the street and braked at a stoplight, my phone began to ring, buzzing on the seat. I quickly swiped across the screen and left it on speaker mode while the light turned green.
"Myra, hey. Is everything okay?"
"I need to ask you something."
"I'm just a few blocks away from the apartment, can it wait?"
"Uhm, no. No, it can't."
"What's going on?"
"Do you like Sacramento?"
"I don't know, I've never been. Why?"
"Lars and I and a few of our friends were planning to go on a trip there during the long weekend. I wanted to ask – beg, really – if you could come with us."
"This really couldn't wait?" I asked her, pulling up to our street.
"I see you on the street. Just come up quickly!"
I parked in the only available slot in front of our apartment and walked up the stairs to our floor. Myra had already pulled the door wide open, the warm light of the kitchen flooding into the hallway.
"So, can you come?" She escorted me in.
"I don't think so," I told her honestly, putting my things down on the counter and entering my room. She followed closely.
"Please, tell me you're kidding."
"I'm not." I pressed my lips together.
"Oh, come on. Why not? Don't you want to get out of this small apartment and see something other than a college campus?" She begged.
"Not really, no." I giggled. "Besides, I don't think I really fit in with your friends. I really appreciate you including me, Myra, but I just don't think it's a good idea."
"It's only me, Lars, Peter, Mike, Aubrey, and Aiden."
"Aiden is going, too?" I didn't need to meet her gaze to know it was on me.
"Yeah. He's coming, too."
I half scoffed. "Even more of a reason not to go. He dislikes me enough already."
"He dislikes everyone! Don't let him spoil your fun!"
"Myra, I don't want to go." I walked out of my room and into the kitchen where I took out a cup and a teabag.
"You can invite Will! I know you would go if he goes."
"Please, drop it." I tried telling her nicely, yet she continued to ask until Lars came in.
"Is she drilling you about the trip?"
"Yeah. I keep telling her, but she won't let me say no."
"Myra, if she doesn't want to go, you can't force her to."
Myra sighed loudly and sat down on the couch. "Alright, but if you change your mind, I'm the first person you call."
Lars chuckled as he sat down beside her. He kissed her on the side of her head and turned on the TV.
"I promise you'll be the first person I call." I poured milk into my cup and stirred it until the brown water turned into a dark cream color.
"Oh, Lars, wait. Pause it." Myra turned to me again. "We're having a movie marathon this weekend at the frat house. No parties, no loud music, just games, movies, and the option of alcohol. Please, say you'll go to that, at least?"
"What kind of movie marathon is it?"
The instant I asked, Myra's entire face brightened.
"Any movies we like, but maybe we could choose a specific genre?" She waited anxiously for my response.
"No parties?" I gave her a glance.
"No parties. And no Aiden. Cross my heart and hope to die." She made the figure of an 'X' against her chest and then held her hand open in front of her.
"Alright... okay. Fine." I nodded and slipped into my room, hearing Myra's single cheer of victory.