Cold air burned my throat.
I didn't have cash for a bus ride, so I had to race across town to get to the Den.
The line was shorter with no performance scheduled for the night, but I hesitated to go in without my ID. I was in such a hurry to meet with Erin, that I had completely forgotten to grab my wallet on the way out.
"Bonnie," a man called for me. The bald bouncer from the night before stood at the entryway across the street, waving for me to come forward. I tentatively walked toward him. "You Bonnie?" He asked this time.
I gulped quietly. "Y-Yes?"
He nodded to the entryway. "You're good to go."
I was a little suspicious about the quick access, but I figured I'd get a better explanation inside.
Erin would at least be there.
The club was different this time. It glowed red. Bodies were dancing everywhere. Grinding on each other. Sucking faces in all corners. All of them, taken over by the enchantment of pulsating music.
I felt completely out of place.
"Bonnie," My heart leapt at the familiar voice of Erin on stage. She waved at me before hopping off to cut through the crowd. She stumbled out of it, catching herself a foot away from colliding into me. "You made it!" She cheered.
"Yeah," I answered sheepishly, arms crossed. "I don't exactly enjoy prolonging a debt."
Her smile drooped. She glanced at my arms then checked on something over her shoulder.
"Here," She offered her hand. "Follow me."
I took it fast.
I was led further into the club to the far back. We made a turn down a hallway where pairs of people were making out; pressing their partners into the walls.
"In here," she turned to a door with a tinted window, guiding me into a dark room before shutting us in.
My heart raced every second we spent in the dark. Regardless of how amazing I thought she was, I wasn't sure I could trust her. I hardly knew her. I hardly understood why I was even eager to meet with her in the first place. Especially at such a late hour. The whole idea suddenly seemed completely insane.
Then the room lit up.
A black, leather couch circled around the center. There was a small table in the middle space. A mini fridge in the corner. A bucket of iced champagne next to it. The letters VIP on a plaque against the back wall.
"It's less chaotic in here," she said as she guided me to the couch.
"Listen, um…" I pulled out of her hand. She looked back at me, eyebrow arched. "I didn't come here to… you know, do anything." I swayed my hand around the room.
Erin placed her hands on her hips, smirking. "Meaning?"
"Well... you brought me into an empty room. I can only assume it's because you wanted to… to…" My face felt like it was on fire. If it was possible to die of sheer embarrassment, I was definitely inching to it.
"Hold on," she leaned in closely. Her smirk overspread. "What did you think we were going to do?"
"I… " I wasn't so sure anymore. "I just want to be clear. I'm not quick to... do what everyone else was doing back there. I only came here to chat."
Erin leaned back, "Well, believe it or not, that's the only reason I brought you in here. I can't exactly talk to you, if I can hardly hear you."
"Oh." I chuckled like an idiot. "R-Right. Of course."
Erin nodded to the couch before she went over to the corner. "Take a seat," she said as she squatted in front of the fridge and opened the mini door. "You good with bubbling water? Or is that a little too risqué for you?"
"No, no. That's fine," I answered fast and sat down.
She grabbed two bottles and strolled back, handing me a drink before she plopped on the cushion next to me. "So," she uncapped her bottle. "Did you enjoy the show?"
"Hm? Oh, yes! It was amazing! Your vocal skills were just…" my words faltered when I watched her take a long sip. Her throat bobbed perfectly. "... incredible."
Her eyes flicked to me. They looked different. They weren't painted with black liner this time. Her whole face was make-up free. I liked her better that way. She was less intimidating. Much more real.
"How'd you even manage to get in?" She set her bottle on the table. "Seeing that you're underage."
My heart dropped. "W-W-What makes you think I-I'm underage?"
She arched her brow again. "I dropped you off at the academy, remember?"
My mouth bobbed. I tried to think of a passable excuse, but it was like my mouth couldn't keep up with my thoughts.
After two seconds of silence, it was obvious I'd been exposed.
Erin laughed and gave me a gentle nudge with her shoulder, "Relax. I'm no narc. I'm technically not supposed to be at this club either. I don't turn eighteen 'till October." She put her elbow on her knee and rested her chin on her palm. "But I think it's cute you took that risk just to watch me sing."
"Well," I cleared my throat, swallowing my embarrassment. "Technically, I only came because of a friend."
"Oh?" Her eyes scaled down my neck. "And tonight?"
"Tonight…" I couldn't lie, but my pride forbade me from being too honest. I was afraid my honesty would just scare her away. "Tonight I came to repay a debt."
"A debt, huh?" she reached out with her free hand and brushed my milky bangs out of my face. "Well, I'm glad you showed up. I'd been curious about you since the other night." She leaned in closely, inspecting my eyes curiously. "You were very distinguishable. Especially with that kind of hair. Even your lashes are white."
I turned to the side, cheeks burning. "Y-Yeah, I'm practically albino. It's kind of a nuisance, really."
"Is it?" She leaned back.
"Well, I don't exactly enjoy drawing attention to myself." I tucked a strand behind my ear. "In case it wasn't obvious."
"That's a little hard to do when you look like that."
My finger circled the cap. "Story of my life."
"How ironic," She slumped into the couch. "People work their whole lives for a little bit of recognition. Myself included. But you've got that easy and you want the exact opposite."
"I, um…" I cleared my throat again. "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Erin chuckled. "Oh, no. I wasn't criticizing you for it."
"No, I meant," I looked over to catch her eyes. "I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself. That you're not distinguishable."
Erin paused with the head of the bottle an inch from her lips. She was about to take a second sip before she set it back on the table. "You might not get it, but people don't exactly pay any attention to anything that isn't above average. My band's no exception." She ran her fingers through her bangs, huffing out a short sigh. "Honestly, no one's actually interested in anything without a good image. A good illusion. Not that I blame anyone for it. I mean, I'm guilty of the same crime. But it's not easy. Not like it is for you. The rest of us have to work a lot harder if we want to keep the spotlight on us."
My heart ached to hear her talk about herself that way. I don't think anyone could have imagined such a beautiful creature was plagued by so many insecurities. If she only saw herself the way I saw her that night; perfect in form, regardless of how she painted herself for the public, then she'd never doubt herself again.
It was those eyes. Those round, upturned, wide-set, hazel eyes that reminded me so much of a stray kitten living in an adult playhouse.
"I think you'd still look beautiful without the facade."
Her smile dipped. Hazel eyes shifted from my gaze to my lips. I could tell. She stared at them for a long moment before they traveled back to my eyes, as if she was requesting permission to move ahead.
My heart drummed louder with every inch she eliminated between us. I had every chance to pull away. I could have refused. I could have said no. But in that moment, it was like I'd been caught in her trance again. I might have let her do anything to me at that point…
Had we not been interrupted.
"Yoo-hoo," a woman peaked her head behind the door, her face powdered with heavy make-up. I flinched away from Erin. "Been looking everywhere for you, my little siren."
Erin sat back. "Kinda busy right now, Linda."
The woman stepped inside, her cleavage exposed in a tight, leopard print mini-dress. "But I was really hoping to spend some time with you," she glanced at me. "I'm sure the kid won't mind."
"Maybe later," Erin insisted.
"Oh, c'mon. It's past her curfew anyway," She glared at me. "Right hun?"
I gulped. "R-Right."
"Bonnie, you don't have to—"
"No, no." I stood up. "She's right. It's late. I should get going before someone starts to worry."
"Thatta girl," The woman patted my shoulder with a fake smile.
"It was, um…" I turned to Erin. "It was great to see you again."
Erin nodded with a blank stare. I wanted to assume she was frowning because she was a little disappointed that I was leaving, but that might have been just my ego speaking.
It ended up being a brief meeting. Less than a half hour. Probably worth nothing to most people. Not worth the risk of sneaking out late on a school night. But I was happy with the short time we had. Every minute of it meant everything to me. Every second, worth it.
She was totally worth it.