I'd been glued to my phone all morning.
The days that followed that glorious night had been comprised solely of daily texts and phone calls. Sunday was spent apart because of her big show. I considered attending, but the idea of seeing her the next day felt too soon. I didn't want her to think I was clingy. Plus, she had told me to stay home anyway. Said I'd make her too nervous to perform and that she didn't love the idea of me in a crowd with potential creeps. But I think she only said that because she knew the club-scene just wasn't my kind of scene.
I really wanted to see her though.
"That must be one special phone," Tasha said at her desk, next to mine. "I must be incredibly boring compared to such a magnificent device," she added dramatically.
I set it down. "Sorry, Tash. What were you saying?"
"More like asking. It's been days, and you've been checking that thing non-stop. You got some secret fella or something?"
"Or something," I sheepishly muttered.
"You're lying," Tasha chuckled. But her smile quickly fell when my silence lingered a second too long. "No way! Really? You?"
"Really. Me." I nodded. "We spent the day last Saturday."
"How is that even possible? You hardly talk to anyone around here. I would've noticed if someone had asked you—"
"They don't go here. We met on Monday. They gave me a ride."
"Wait, you got into some random dude's car on Monday?" She gripped edge of her seat, leaning forward. "Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?
"It was a motorcycle, technically." I looked down at my phone, smiling at the vibration as the screen read 'new message.' "And she wasn't technically a dude."
Tasha's chair squeaked as she leaned back.
I was too nervous to look at her.
"Oh," she paused. "Well, uh... is she hot?"
My nerves disappeared fast. That's why I loved Tasha. She was incredibly judgment about most things, but hardly ever about me.
"I think so," I reached for my phone and slid the notification to the right. "She's incredible."
Her message popped up. A photo of a plate of peanut butter cookies with the text, the greatest snack in the world. You can't convince me otherwise, came in response to my comment about chocolate chips being the superior cookie.
"So what'd you guys do Saturday?"
My head shot up at her, "Saturday?"
"Yeah, you said you went out on Saturday. What'd you do?"
"Well, um… we..." All the memories of Saturday were replaced by a single scene; the night on the hill. Everything that happened before that was completely a blur. "We, we… uh…"
"Hold on," Tasha smirked. "Did you do something naughty?"
"What?" I blurted. "N-No! We just, I mean…"
"You totally did," she exclaimed quietly. "Oh my gosh, little miss I-won't-consent-before marriage, totally did the naughty with random biker girl?"
"Shut up," I smacked her shoulder, but it did nothing to silence her laugh. "People are going to hear you."
"Okay, okay," she held up her hands. "But you've got to tell me who she is. Do you have a picture of her? Preferably, a sexy one?"
"Tasha," I hissed between my teeth, checking around to make sure no one was listening. Thankfully, everybody else seemed mostly absorbed in their own conversations.
"Do I know her?" Tasha asked.
"Well, yeah, sort of."
"Really? Who?"
"Well…" I looked at my cell again, tentative to admit it aloud. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to, given her popularity. But this was Tasha. I couldn't keep anything a secret from her for too long. "Remember that band we saw last Sunday, the one with that lead singer?"
"Erin Hellster?" She guessed, "BlackNest?"
"Yeah," I smiled sheepishly. "She's the one who offered me a ride."
The excitement on Tasha's face disappeared. Instead, a stone cold expression appeared when she asked, "You're dating Erin Hellster?"
"Yeah." I answered proudly. A big smile on my face. But Tasha's expression didn't change.
"You're not serious." She huffed out another sarcastic laugh. "Please tell me you're joking."
"Why would I lie about that?"
"Not lie, but you might be deluding yourself. Bonnie, you do realize she's practically the town's goddess, right? She's hooked up with more than half the girls at her show."
"According to who?"
"According to everyone. I mean, some of it might be false rumors, sure. Maybe even exaggerated. I'll give you that much, but you can't completely discredit the gossip. There's always some truth to stuff like that."
Doubt sept into my thoughts. Of course, rumors didn't always stem from nothing. But nothing about that night on the hill seemed insincere either. Erin opened up to me. She confided in me. I had no right to question that because of a bunch of gossip. Even if it was true, it didn't change anything going forward.
I liked Erin. And I was positive, she liked me too.
I couldn't easily discredit that.
"Okay, look over there," Tasha slyly pointed to the front row in class. I checked over my shoulder to follow her gaze. "You know, Ruby Schuster?" She asked, referring to the twin-tailed ginger laughing with a group of girls next to a window. "You see that sweater around her waist? She said she got it from Erin after one of her shows."
I glanced at the grey sleeves tied around Ruby's small waist. It didn't seem like her style, but very much like Erins. I looked back at Tasha. "Why does that matter?"
"According to her, Erin only gave it to her after Ruby lost her top backstage. Said they both had all sorts of fun."
I looked over at Ruby, giggling with her friends in the corner. A sweater didn't mean anything though. It didn't prove anything.
So why couldn't I shake off the doubt?
"That doesn't mean much," I grabbed my cell. Clenching it tightly. "it could just be another rumor."
Tasha sighed, "sure. It could be. I just want to make sure you're not... confused?"
I turned to her, "About?"
"Your status? Like, are you sure you're actually dating and not just… you know," she curled her fingers into a circle with one hand and she slid her index finger in it with a whistle.
"No," I shook my head. "No, she wouldn't play me like that. She… she…" the words disappeared in my throat. I wasn't sure how to defend myself, or Erin. But doubt was spreading fast, like an infectious disease.
"Okay, okay," Tasha grabbed my trembling fists on my lap. "Don't take it so hard. You're probably right. I mean, you were there with her that day. You know her better than I do. I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't want you to get hurt."
Ring!
Everybody in the room returned to their chairs at the sound of the bell. More bodies came lazily walking through the door to rejoin class as minutes passed. Tasha quickly faced the board when the instructor came into the room. I did the same. But my eyes never lifted from my cellphone on my lap.
I had yet to reply to her last message.