I had to see Erin.
After the final bell rang, I raced over to the Den to put the rumors to an end.
I needed answers. I needed reassurance. I needed her to tell me it wasn't true. That what happened that night on the hill wasn't just a hook up. That it wasn't all in my head. That she wasn't playing me.
She couldn't have played me...
Right?
"Try again in a couple years," said the newly hired bouncer at the club. A bleached blond young man in a fitted black tee blocking the entrance.
"You don't understand," I tried again, putting away my fake ID. "I'm a friend of Erin's."
"Yeah. You and half the city."
"No, really! Look, I even have her-"
"Rabbit!" A hand plopped on my shoulder. I flinched up at a blue-eyed young man with spikey, silver hair that pointed to the sun. "I wasn't expecting you to show up this early."
"Excuse me?"
He smiled with a lip piercing chained to his ear, then looked up at the bouncer. "It's cool, Ivan. She's with me."
"I am?"
"She is?"
"She will be," he gave me a wink.
"Well then," The bouncer stepped to the side. "My bad," he apologized, despite no sincerity in his tone. Not that I even cared. All I wanted was access to Erin.
My temporary collaborator followed me into the club. His arm draped around my shoulders to keep the ruse going until we were a good distance away from the door. I quickly shrugged him off once the Bouncer was completely out of sight.
"Woah, chillax." He chuckled as I scurried to the side. "She never said you were a fidgety one."
"She who?" I stayed close to the wall. "Who the hell are you?"
"Now that's just rude," Cold eyes narrowed. "But I guess you were too hooked on the big star to appreciate the rest of us."
"The rest of..." It suddenly hit me when I noticed the guitar case strapped to his back. "You're in the band."
"I'm Nate," He corrected. " I'm assuming you're here for Erin."
I nodded shamefully, "Y-Yes."
He took my hand with a smile. "Then follow me."
Passing the stage, we traveled further into the club. Down the direction I had taken the last time I had visited Erin. Except this time, I wasn't overwhelmed by red lights and pulsating music or the drumming of my own heartbeat. Instead, I was anxious.
"So you're the one who's been messaging her all week?" He commented as we turned down a hall. "I was hoping I'd get see you soon. You know, to thank you."
"Thank me?"
"She's been in a better mood these days. I figured you had something to do with it."
I pursed my lips, trying to smother a smile.
"I'm kind of jealous. I mean, you must've been a hell of a good time to keep her happy this long." He stopped in his tracks and looked back, squeezing my hand. "You ever offer the same service to guys?"
I jerked out of his grasp, backing up a step. "Why would you ask me that?"
"So that's a no?"
"I'm with Erin," I stated fiercely.
"But it's not like it's anything exclusive," he snorted.
My heart sank.
Those last remnants of hope were nearly demolished by those four heart-crushing words. My confidence in her - in our relationship - wouldn't survive another jab of doubt.
I had to see her now.
I shoved past him hard before I stormed off on my own.
There was only one room I thought she'd be in. The VIP space she took me into the last time I visited. The room she decided to sit me down in, just to talk privately. The room where she had opened up to me about her insecurities and her self-opinion before she came running after me, just to walk me home.
Everything about that night felt sincere.
Authentic.
Unscripted.
Raw.
Just like it did the night on that hill.
I tried to convince myself there was no way I could have misread her intentions. Despite the rumors fluttering around town, I told myself she wasn't a bad person. She wasn't insincere. Even if all the dots weren't connecting to the image I had of her in my head.
My hand lunged for the knob when I got to the room. The muffled laughter from the other end, however, made me hesitate. That should have been the biggest indicator to prove I'd been played. I should have known better. But still…
I clung onto denial anyway.
Pushing the door wide open, I was half-surprised when I caught her inside with another girl on the sofa. Only-half disappointed. Half-betrayed. Because half of me already knew.
A brunette giggled before she spotted me, her cheek cupped in the palm of a siren that brushed curls out of her fan's freckled face. They were fully clothed, but their positions alluded that something more was in the works.
Sitting in front of each other, their faces were only inches away before Erin heard me enter.
She looked over her shoulder. Upturned hazel eyes widened.
"Bonnie?" She said as the brunette rushed off the couch to stand up. Erin didn't move. "What are you doing here?"
"I... I..." I wasn't sure anymore.
"Man, you're a fast rabbit!" Nate's voice came booming from behind me, patting my shoulder after he slowed to a stop. He looked at Erin, chuckling as he asked, "is she this energetic at night too?"
My heart dipped.
I balled my fists, shaking with the urge to do something. To say something. To take action. But my humiliation paralyzed me. I felt cheated. Used. And all I wanted was to throw those feelings onto Erin...
Until she flung a bottle at her friend's head.
"Jesus!" He said after he dipped fast, dodging the drink as it crashed into the wall behind him. "You could have killed me!"
"You're gonna wish I had," she threatened after springing up, snatching the brunette's hand to guide her to the door. "Sorry, Carol. We'll have to do a raincheck." She offered without giving any time for her fan to respond.
"You can't bail on one for the other," complained Nate after Erin took my wrist, pulling me into the room. "Why don't you let me take the rabbit off your shoulders?"
"Fuck off," she seethed, grinding her teeth.
"C'mon," He whined after the door slammed in his face. "Stop being stingy!" He yelled from the other side.
"Stop being an ass!" She yelled back, smacking the door. He muttered something in response after kicking the door, but after a long moment, he gave up and told the fan to follow him.
Their footsteps faded down the hallway. Erin didn't move until they were completely out of hearing range before she let out a sigh and faced me.
"Sorry about that. He's not always that annoying," she chuckled awkwardly before she began patting her pockets, searching for something. "I didn't know you were coming. Did you text me?"
"No, I just..." My voice wilted. I didn't know how to talk to her anymore. She was acting as if she wanted to start a whole new conversation, as if I hadn't just found her flirting with another girl a minute ago.
Then it occurred to me.
Her laidback attitude was just her way of assuring me that the rumors had been true all along. That what we shared that night wasn't anything special. It didn't hold any major significance, because in her mind, it was just another night. Just another fling.
Because I was just another girl.
"I shouldn't have come." I hurried to the door, but Erin was quick to catch my hand again. Gently pulling me back.
"Woah, wait!" She tried to find my gaze, despite my effort to keep it on the floor. "You came all the way out here. It's got to be important."
"It's not," I muttered. I couldn't look at her.
My vision was blurring fast.
"Hey." She whispered out of concern, taking my chin to recapture my gaze. "Bonnie, talk to me."
"Nothing. Just forget it." I shook my head, "forget I was even here." I whipped around and opened the door fast for a quick escape.
"Bonnie!" Erin called out multiple times. Pleading for me to wait, as if she actually cared. But unlike all the other times, her voice couldn't trap me. Nothing she said could slow me down.
I didn't stop running until I reached the bus stop. That's when I realized she hadn't come after me like she had the last time I left the club.
On the curb of the road, I dropped to the floor and burst into tears. Heartbroken and destroyed by own naivety.