Erin followed me out of the cinema, raucously laughing in the background.
"You didn't tell me it'd be a horror film," I whined. Covering my face after two hours of pop up scares.
"Sorry, sorry," She took my hands and brought them down, lowering her head to meet my eyes. "I thought everyone loved horror."
I pulled away, "In what universe does everyone love watching demons popping in every ten seconds?" I snapped. Tears were welling up again. I was never good with horror. Not as a kid and not now. Erin, however, was laughing the whole way through. But I wasn't sure if she had been laughing at the scares or at me for screaming through the whole thing.
"Okay, okay." She held her hands up defensively, "no more horror."
The town's clock chimed. Two hours left to midnight.
The day was nearing its end.
"I guess our time's up," Erin pouted at the clock down the street. "It's getting late," she turned to me. "We should get you home." She decided before she offered me her hand again. I wasn't sure what to make of that anymore. Friends don't usually hold hands that often, at least, none of my friends do. But she'd been offering hers to me all day.
"Right." I muttered, "home."
She guided me down the street, in front of a local candy store. Her bike was parked between two cars. She let go of my hand to grab the helmet and handed it to me before she hopped on. I appreciated the gesture, but my hand felt strangely cold without hers in it.
She pulled out her keys from her back pocket. I was about to put on the helmet when I noticed her hand stopped just before twisting the keys in the ignition. Her mouth bobbed, as if she was afraid to say something.
So I waited.
"Hey," she looked up at me. "You mind if we make a quick stop before we head back? It'll be a longer drive, but—"
"Sure!" I answered fast. I honestly didn't care how long it took. Any second I could get with her was worth the drive. She smiled and nodded for me to hop on. I slipped the helmet over my head and sat behind her, wrapping my arms around her slender waist.
I tried to appreciate every second I had with her. Every small movement she made. The sound of the engine roaring as she twisted the handles. Her boisterous laugh when I squeezed her tightly after the noise made me flinch.
I appreciated all of it.
We zipped through the streets, onto a freeway, like we were flying past cars. My heart leaped with every quick turn. She was fearless, accustomed to the speed. She seemed like a fast-paced kind of girl. It made me feel incredibly small. Like no matter hard I tried, I would probably never measure up to much in her world.
And that terrified me.
We headed for a road that led up a hill, near a hiking trail in the outskirts of town. I probably should have been terrified, going into the woods with a complete stranger. But leaving her terrified me way more. She could have pulled a knife out or a gun and I probably would have stuck around anyway. I felt safe in her presence.
Shielded and secured.
"Voila," she said after parking at the top of a hill overlooking the town. The city lights glowed like stars below the specks that twinkled in the sky. It was a beautiful sight, like nothing I'd ever seen before.
I stepped off the bike and removed my helmet, gawking at the scenery.
"This is amazing," I set the helmet on the handle and walked to the edge. "How'd you find this place?"
"Cruising," she answered after slamming something. I turned around to see a blanket in her hand that, I assumed, was taken out of the compartment in her seat. "I figured it'd be a great way to end the night."
She laid the blanket flat on the grass. Kneeling on the edge, she swept her hand over to straighten it out before she sat on one side and patted a spot for me to sit next her. I did as she requested and sat on the blanketed floor to gaze at the lights in silence. It was a good kind of silence. The kind where nothing really needed to be said, because we were simply content listening to the wind, to crickets, and to our own heartbeats.
After a few minutes, the winds ignited chills and I brought my knees to my chest to ball up for warmth.
"Here," Erin removed her jacket.
"No, no! I'm fine! Really! It's not that big of a—"
"Take it," she insisted. Placing it over my shoulders like a blanket.
I pulled the jacket around me tightly, "Thank you."
"Any time." She leaned on her elbows. "I'm basically a human heater. It takes a lot more than wind to chill my bones."
"I also meant for today," I looked down at her. "I was supposed to repay you for the ride to school, but you did way more for me instead. Honestly, this is the most fun I've had in a long time."
I expected her to break into a smile. Maybe say something cheeky. But her features were hard and stiff. She sat up and looked at me, criss-crossing her legs. "Bonnie, you…" her words trailed off before she tried again. "You don't want to go home, do you?"
I didn't say anything at first. If I told her what life at home was like, there'd be no coming back from that. She wouldn't look at me the same way. I had to swallow the truth.
"Home's not exactly homey, but..." I shrugged. "It's home."
"Do you have anyone waiting for you right now?"
"Not really. My aunt and uncle don't really care where I go, not unless the schools involved." I looked down at the blanket between her pale fingers. Her nails were painted red. "It's liberating actually. I can practically do anything, since... nobody actually cares what I do."
"I care," she said. Our eyes met again. There was sincerity in her voice. It reflected in her eyes.
"What about you?" I tried to shift the conversation away from me. "Anyone waiting for you?"
She stared ahead, "probably."
"At the club?" I guessed. "Do you live around there?"
"In there, actually. The owner kind of took me in when I was a kid. That's how I got the gig."
"Ah. Nepotism," I teased. "Lucky you."
"Hey," she playfully nudged my arm. "We worked really hard to get our spot. Not like she handed it to us on a silver plate."
"So then, how did you manage to convince her?"
"Well, it took time. She didn't really take us seriously until the band started getting serious. We played for her a few times. Then one night, she heard one of our songs and figured she could probably make some sort of profit if she marketed our group as an exclusive band."
"But how exactly did the band form?" I asked. That was the real story that piqued my interest.
"Oh," She lowered her head. Her smile gone. "After my mom bailed, I got stuck living at my grandfather's. Then when he died, the cops came to ship me off to 'fosterland.'" She shrugged, "So, you know, I did what any smart kid would do."
"You went in willingly?"
"Hell no," she chuckled. "No smart person walks into the system willingly. I hid out at an old warehouse for a bit. I was ten years old, surviving on nothing but dumpster food before Nate found me."
"Nate?"
"He's the bassist in the band. He lived in the area when him and a friend found me hiding out. He came every day after that with snacks and water, just to keep me going for a while."
"How long did that last?"
"Not long," She tsked, "His blabbermouth brought Molly along. The owner of the Den. She turned me into the cops like the heartless old hag she's infamously known to be, before she decided to adopt me."
"So you did end up in the system?"
"At one point. But I guess she felt bad afterward. I begged her not to send me away. I probably cried for hours before I was actually taken," The corners of her lips twitched into a smile, as if the story was actually humorous now despite the depressing tone to it. "She offered to take me in to make up for it. Apparently, she was a certified foster mom back in the day. So, she renewed her license and got stuck with me in the end."
"That's amazing," I smiled. "But what about the band?"
"They came after." She explained, "Me and Nate were into the same kind of music growing up. It was literally the only thing we had in common. He thought of starting a band together, like all the big ones we loved listening to and he told me I had a killer voice to help us get started. We took guitar lessons together in middle school. Practiced everyday. Then we met Jace, the guitarist. He introduced us to Baron, and after that, the drummer."
"You guys must have been through a lot together."
"You have no idea. It was really hard at first. We put up flyers all over the city for the first show, but no more than ten people showed up to our gig. We had to really work our asses off to build a relationship with everyone in this town. It took months before the numbers started piling up."
"Wow," I whispered thoughtlessly.
Erin tilted her head, smiling. "What?"
"Nothing, just…" there was no other way to put it other then, "You're really amazing."
Her smile dropped. Wide eyed, I could have sworn her cheeks went red before she turned her head away. "Well, I can't take all the credit. I didn't do it on my own," she looked down at her hand and balled it into a fist. "That's why I've got to make it big. I don't want to let any of them down. They've supported me through everything, even after I quit school to focus on my singing. I have to make them proud."
"You will," I grabbed her fist. Her skin was cold. She must have been freezing without her jacket, but I was afraid calling her out on it would bruise her ego. So, I pretended not to notice.
"I hope you're right." She took my hand. "It'd be the best thing in the world to travel across the globe just to sing. I'd get to try to new things. See new places. Meet new people."
"Right…" I pulled out of her grasp. "New people." I had forgotten what being famous would do to her someday. I hated thinking about the future, because I knew at that point, she'd be far away from this little hill, making other people smile while I waste away in this little town.
"What about you?" she prodded my shoulder, "Any dreams? Goals?"
That was a hard question to answer.
"Not really," I admitted to myself, "I like to sketch, but I doubt I can make a career out of that."
"Don't doubt yourself. I'm sure you could do it if you really wanted to."
"That's the problem. I'm not sure what I really want exactly. Whenever I envision my future, I don't see anything. I guess I'm just… lost." I gripped the fabric of the jacket tighter. "I envy your passion. You know your purpose. I'm not sure I'll ever find mine."
"You could find purpose in anything, Bonnie. It doesn't have to be some crazy ambitious thing."
"Yeah, but ambition helps to cement things. I feel like I'm just a raft, floating around without an anchor."
"Then I'll give you one." She nudged, "Ten years from now, we'll sit on this hill and watch the stars again. Is that concrete enough?"
"But what about after that?" I asked glumly.
"After that, I'll ask you to live another tens years to see the stars again." She ticked her head back and forth, "and again, and again, and again."
I pushed her playfully and laughed, "What kind of purpose is that?"
She laughed with me. The depressing aura had finally lessened. My heart felt less heavy after a good laugh.
"There it is," she pointed at my cheeks. "A happy Bonnie."
I rolled my eyes and returned to the view, trying to take memory shots of the scene to remember for a lifetime.
Then her fingers brushed my cheek.
I stiffened at the touch as she pushed my bangs out of my face, "You look way prettier when you smile."
I turned to her. She lowered her hand and stared at me intently, scanning every inch of my face with her eyes. They stopped at my lips and stayed there for a second. I didn't know how to react, but when her eyes came back up, her breathing had stopped.
Everything was quiet.
Then her lips were on mine.
It was a gentle kiss at first, soft and careful as she cupped my cheek and pulled me into her. But as her lips moved against mine, she pressed harder - and suddenly, it all became too real. I pulled away, covering my mouth before I scooted away. I didn't want to ruin the moment, but the abruptness of her actions caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what to make of it, or what to make of myself.
It was my first real kiss.
And it happened with a girl.
"Sorry," Erin whispered. I should've been relieved that she took the initiative to break the silence, but it made me feel even smaller. People only ever apologize for things they regret. That realization made my heart ache.
"No, no, it's fine…" I lied, trying to mask my disappointment with a laugh, but it only came out in a shudder after I turned away from her. "It was my fault. We both got caught up in the moment. You don't have to apologize for—"
"Not for the kiss," she took my hand and pulled me in gently, forcing me to face her. "I meant for what I said earlier."
"Earlier?"
"I lied," she grabbed my chin, keeping my gaze. "I wasn't aiming to be just friends."
I gaped, speechless before she leaned in again, eyes fully open as her lips pressed into mine. Her jacket slid off my shoulders, unnecessary to wear at this point. My entire body was burning up from the inside out as she ravishing my mouth, keeping her eyes on me until I gave in and closed mine completely.
Her tongue intruded, swirling in my mouth. Her hands slid from my shoulders to my chest and I flinched at her cold fingers trailing over the thin fabric of my Henley. I wasn't sure how far this would go, or how far I'd let her go, but saying no at any point meant ending the night for good... and that was the last thing I wanted.
She gently pushed me down to lay on my back, never breaking the kiss as she moved on top of me. Her thigh was pressed between my legs, rubbing against my lower half as her hands wandered further, sliding down my stomach to the button of my jeans.
I turned away from the kiss, gripping her traveling hand without even thinking.
"Trust me," she whispered. I couldn't protest when she flashed another smile.
The next thing I knew, her lips were back on mine.
She rubbed her palm against my underwear. It was painfully slow, like she asking me to beg for it. I whimpered in the kiss, tugging her sleeve to hasten the pace. She chuckled against my lips before her hand slid out of my jeans.
Sitting up, she removed her tank to reveal the perfectly sculpted form I saw the night she performed. A cheeky grin curved on her face as she reached for the end of my top, removing it over my head before tossing it off to the side. I quickly covered my chest, embarrassed by the progression of a date with someone I knew little about. Only that she was perfect.
"You're gorgeous, Bon," she whispered under a single breath, as if to ease my obvious insecurities before she leaned in to plant kisses on my neck.
Her hands fiddled with the clasps of her bra. I wasted no time to unhook mine as she nibbled on my neck and returned to exploring my body with wandering hands. She wasted no time to unbuckle her jeans, then proceeded to unbuttoning mine.
Her fingers were like magic. They penetrated me in a way that had never seemed pleasurable before that night. She rubbed and licked and pressed and played with every bit of me, until we eventually came to an explosive end. Twitching in each other's arms, she held onto me to the very last second.
Under the night sky, we laid together. Absorbed by the bliss of it all.
The stars had never shined brighter.