Peem POV -
"I can't do it anymore Lukchub," I groaned as I watched Jirachin walk away.
Once again, he'd refused to make another talk-show appearance. He always complains about them wanting to know about his personal life. It annoyed me that he couldn't see it was part of the life he chose.
"I'm sure he'll come around," his sweet brother offered.
"No Lukchub, I mean it. I don't think I can do this anymore."
Lukchub and his boyfriend Ram stared up at me. I could tell Lukchub was trying to figure out what I was saying but by the look on Ram's face, he understood.
"What do you mean?" Lukchub asked. "Are you going to stop being his manager?"
I sighed as my eyes once again moved to stare down at the now, empty hallway. Over the past ten years, I'd been first his assistant and then his manager, in all that time Jirachin had been difficult and oblivious. In all those years, I'd watched him date woman after woman, oblivious to how I felt.
No one knew I'd been in love with him since I saw his first film. We were only children but I'd known then I'd wanted to meet him, it was only when I was a teenager that my feelings grew more erotic.
When I got the chance to work with him as his PA, I thought I'd won the lottery. I knew he was straight, having seen him photographed with countless women, but I allowed my feelings to develop, giving me a false sense of hope.
Now, I am done. He'd refused to go to the show because there was a woman he wanted to go on a date with. Not only did it make my life hell when dealing with producers and other agents but it broke my heart once again.
"I'm sorry Chub!" I stood. "There is only so much I can take."
Lukchub tried to speak but I just walked off. I heard him call my name, even heard him get up but I reached my car and drove off. My heart swam with so much emotion as my head finally decided to leave.
----
For several days, I acted like a coward. Chin called and I ignored it, when he banged on my door I ignored him, even when Lukchub called. I felt terrible but I needed to sort things out.
I'd emailed my resignation letter, and handed over all Chin's information to Kanin, his next manager. Thankfully, Kanin knew what he was getting into.
One morning, my phone buzzed as I finished my shower. It was Kanin. Puzzled, I picked up the phone and pressed the answer button. A towel was wrapped around my waist as my bare chest shone from the bathroom light.
"Hello, Kanin, what's up?" I asked.
"Hey P'Peem, sorry to bother you but I'm at your door. I thought it would be better to talk face-to-face about P'Chin."
With a sigh, I hung up, grabbed some sweats and a tank top and then went to answer the door. My eyes widened when standing at my door, it wasn't Kanin, but Chin himself. Jirachin stood with a wide smirk, as Kanin stood behind him looking sheepish.
"I'm sorry P'Peem, he threatened to run off and hide if I didn't help him," Kanin explained, as I glared, before walking away quickly.
Chin turned to smile at the retreating younger man. I glared at him when he turned back to me and his smile faded. Without a word, I turned leaving the door open for him to follow. I sighed when I heard the door shut and his footsteps approaching.
"What are you doing here? I'm not your manager anymore," I told him gruffly.
When he sighed, my shoulders dropped slightly and it, reluctantly, made me turn around. Chin looked uncomfortable or dare I say sheepish, like he was sure he had done something wrong but he didn't know what. I've never seen this side of him before.
"Is everything ok?" I asked.
"I should be asking you that," he muttered.
"What?" I asked.
Jirachin moved to my small sofa and sat down with a heavy sigh. I moved to sit with him but I had no idea what to say or do.
"What can I do?" he asked.
My eyebrows crossed as I looked at him. He stared at me with his sad puppy dog eyes that usually made me buckle, but I had no idea what to do this time.
"What do you mean?"
"What can I do Peem, to make you stay," he explained. "I'll do anything, go on any talk show or meet with as many fans and reporters as you want. Just come back to me!"
I sighed. It was tempting, that was one of the main areas that had frustrated me for years. The number of times I had to apologise to or refuse many influential people. It was a wonder he was given any work at all.
"I don't …" I started.
"Come on Peem," he interrupted, gripping my hand. "I promise I'll behave myself, do whatever you want. Just please, please come back to me."
The heat of his hand sent chills up my arm. I wanted that heat to spread throughout my body but I knew that would never happen. He would never make that happen.
"I'm sorry Chin but it's not just that," I told him, pulling my hand free.
He grabbed it again, bringing it to his chest and pleading to me with his eyes. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I felt his steady heartbeat against my hand.
"I can't!" I reaffirmed as strongly as I could.
"Why not?" he demanded, pulling me closer.
He tugged harder than either of us expected and I ended up crashing into him. The momentum forced him backwards as I landed on top of him. Our joined hands were in between us as I stared down into his shocked eyes.
Chin's lips were so close I could feel his breath, all I had to do was lower my head a little and I'd finally know how they felt. My cock started to swell in my pants and it forced me back to reality.
"Peem?" he whispered.
My eyes shot from his lips to his eyes and I knew he knew. Hurriedly, I scurried off of him and headed for my bedroom. My heart hammered as I slammed the door shut and crumpled to the floor.
I gripped my hair as I breathed deeply, trying to calm my racing heart and my raging hard-on. The feel of his strong body under mine still lingered on my skin.
"Peem?" Chin knocked on my bedroom door, but I didn't answer.
Then I heard my front door shut and my body sagged.
"What the hell have I done!"
----
Jirachin POV -
The following week was a haze. I told Kanin that I wasn't available for the next few weeks. He hadn't been happy about it but I didn't care. After what happened at Peems, I needed the time to think.
Did his body react that way just because he was laid on top of me or was it because he had feelings for me? My mind went through the event over and over again but I couldn't figure it out.
"P'Lukchin?"
I smiled when I heard my little brother calling for me. Lukchub smiled wider as he approached.
"To what do I owe this pleasurable surprise," I asked cheerily.
"No reason, P'Kanin said you weren't working this week so I thought I would stop by to see you," he explained.
I smiled up at him but I guess he saw something in my eyes because his smile fell.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing?" I protested.
"Come on P! I'm your brother, I know something's up," he insisted. "Is it about P'Peem?"
With a sigh, I nodded. There was no use denying it.
"I want Peem to come back but I don't know how to make it happen?" I told him.
"Have you been to talk to him?" he asked.
I nodded and rubbed my face, how could I tell my little brother that I felt Peem's erection as he laid on top of me and that I am confused as hell?
"Tell me?" he urged.
"Ok, fine. I went there, begged him to stay and I ended up pulling him towards me. He ended up on top of me and he got an erection as he stared at my lips."
I could feel the heat coming off him as I watched his blush travel up his neck. It surprised me how timid he was despite being with Ram for a couple of years now.
I'd known exactly when they'd first slept together. Chub had been so red the next day when we met for lunch and he'd told me he'd spent the night at Ram's condo.
Of course, I had teased him and he had practically shrivelled into Ram's side. I smiled just thinking about it.
"Do you have feelings for P'Peem?" he asked and my smile faded.
"Well, I like him," I told him honestly.
"But just not the way I like P'Ram?" he affirmed.
I sighed and nodded.
"Do you think he likes me like that?" I asked him.
"Maybe, but what are you going to do about it if he does?"
I was at a loss for words, I had no idea. What can I do? I'm not against being with a man, but I've never been attracted to one. Can I date a guy? Would I? If it means keeping Peem.
"Honestly, I don't know. I don't want to lose Peem, but I don't know if I can date a guy either," I told him honestly and he looked horrified.
"What?"
"Are you seriously thinking of dating P'Peem just so that he'll stay as your manager?"
Well, when he says it like that it sounds horrible but what else could I do?
"No! I mean, well …"
"You can't do that! That's not fair to P'Peem!"
I knew he was right, I knew it would be a big mistake but I needed to keep him in my life. I'm not going to be cruel to him and say I have feelings for him too. However, I had to do something.
"I know Chub, I won't do that."
---
The next day, I nervously knocked on his door. He didn't answer so I knocked again.
"Come on Peem, open up! I want to talk to you," I called through the door.
I was about to leave thinking that I was speaking to an empty apartment when I heard the latch. A tired-looking Peem appeared and my heart broke. It looked like he'd done nothing but cry for hours.
"Can I come in?" I asked tentatively.
Peem nodded and moved aside for me. I walked past him and tried to ignore the bottles of alcohol on the coffee table. Had he been drinking? Is he drunk now? He must have known what I was looking at.
"Those were from last night. I've already taken some painkillers and had a shower," he told me as he went to clear them away.
I chose to help him only to have something to do. The silence was deafening and I didn't know how to begin. Once we were done he sat at the kitchen table waiting for me to speak.
"I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me. Can you do that?" I asked as I sat across from him.
Peem nodded and took a deep breath as he faced me.
"Do you have feelings for me? Romantic ones?" I asked.
His eyes widened as he lowered his head. That answer was enough but I needed to hear it from him.
"You said you would be honest," I reminded him.
Peem took a deep breath, lifted his head and the look in his eyes made my heart jump. He looked so determined and broken.
"Yeah, I do Chin, I have for years."
I nodded as I watched him nervously bite his lip and fiddle with his hands. Slowly, I moved next to him and placed a hand over his.
"Peem, I'm not going to say that I have feelings like that for you. Honestly, you know me too well and I don't want to hurt you. I know that I can't lose you, so if you're willing to be patient and help me I could try."
"Try? Try what?" he asked, not getting my meaning.
"I mean, that you are so important in my life, and I don't mean just as my manager. So, if you want a romantic relationship with me, then I am willing to try. Though I have no idea what to do."
"You mean, you want to give dating me a try? As if it's a new jacket you can try on for a bit and then throw away when you're done?"
"No, I don't mean like that. I mean that I am willing to try if you'll help me. I've never thought of dating a man before but that doesn't mean I'm against it."
"But what if we do this and you decide you can't be with a man, what will I do then?" he asked.
----
Peem POV -
"Well, if it comes to that, then hopefully, you can move on knowing that we both tried and we won't lose each other," he offered.
Jirachin stared at me as he waited for my answer. His eyes were pulling me and I had to look away. I stood up and started to pace. My mind whirled with so many conflicting thoughts.
Do I pass up this chance and always wonder what could have been? Or do I take him up on his offer and run the risk of having my heart broken?
I wondered if I could protect my heart whilst giving this a try. Could I trust him with it? Jirachin was always honest and careful with the women he dated. Would he treat me the same or differently?
"Peem?" he asked when I stopped.
"I need to know something before I can decide," I started, sitting back down.
"What is it?" he asked.
"If I do agree to this, what exactly would happen?"
"Meaning?" he asked.
"I mean what would be allowed? Going on dates? or being physical? Like holding hands or more," I explained.
"Oh, you mean sex," he smirked.
"Well yeah, for this to work and for you to see if you could be into a guy, we would need to kiss and possibly have sex for you to know."
Chin looked like he was thinking it over and my heart hammered away as I waited anxiously.
"Do you want to kiss me, Peem?" he teased.
My mouth suddenly went dry as my gaze automatically shifted to his lips. His smile turned into a smirk and I guessed that was the answer he needed.
"Do it, let me see if I can handle it."
Hesitantly, I stood and he followed me up. My lungs felt like they were frozen as I moved closer to him. His hand came up to cup my face and I gasped. The heat of his skin thawed my body and I felt like I could breathe again.
My lips tentatively touched his and my body felt alive. I pulled back to gauge his reaction and he was smiling softly at me.
"Is that all you got, kiss me properly Peem, how can I know with only that?" he told me.
Without hesitating, I pressed harder and he responded. I felt his tongue stroke against my lips and it broke the last of my resolve. My tongue wrapped around his as I pushed his body backwards. His back hit the wall as I pressed my body flushed against his.
My hands gripped his face as I angled his head so I could taste more of him. A moan escaped one of us but I was too far gone to figure out who.
Chin's hands rested on my hips but I wanted him to move. Did he not want to? Was he just humouring me? That doubt clung to me so I pulled back from the kiss. I took a step back and turned around.
"Peem?"
His voice sounded a bit rough and it went straight to my cock.
"Peem?" he asked again with a stronger voice. "Is everything ok? Did I do it wrong?"
I couldn't help the laughter as I turned to him. His eyes flicked down to my crotch and I blushed. Jirachin smirked as he stepped closer.
"Is that why you stepped back? Did that kiss make you hard?" he teased.
"I didn't step back because of that," I gulped. "I … well you …"
I had no idea how to explain why I stepped back.
"Tell me," he smiled as he cupped my cheek.
"I've seen you kiss lots of women, your hands were usually all over them but they aren't with me," I explained looking down.
"Ah!"
Before I could question him, he pulled my head to his and continued our kiss. This time one of his hands angled my head as he took over whilst the other squeezed my hip before moving around to cup my ass. My body jerked and shook.
"You like that?" he asked as he moved around to my ear.
His other hand moved down to join in and a shockwave of pleasure made me shudder.
"You're really sensitive aren't you?" he asked.
I moaned as he lapped around my ear before shuddering again. My eyes were close to rolling back in my head but I had to force myself to stay focused. With as much effort as I could, I pushed him back a little.
"I think … we need to … stop," I panted.
Jirachin smirked but stepped back, I was pleased to see he was just as affected as I was. His jeans held a clear outline of his erection and I longed to see it.
"You're right," he laughed. "We probably should."
I went back into the kitchen and grabbed us both a beer. We took the same seats as earlier and I squirmed as he sat smirking at me.
"So …" he started with an exaggerated sound.
"What?" I asked.
"Since when were you so sensitive? And which areas should I avoid when we are in public?"
"I'm not!" I demanded as my cheeks flamed.
"Yeah you are," he laughed.
"Shut up!" I growled.
Jirachin laughed and I felt light. His laugh and smile always made my heart flutter and today was no exception. He reached for my hand and stood.
I followed him as he pulled me towards the sofa. He took a seat and patted the space next to him. My heart hammered as I bit my lip. An image formed in my head and I really wanted to act on it. However, there was something I needed to know first.
"So, does this mean we're going out now!" I asked.
He stared up at me and smiled.
"Yeah, I said I would give us a try. You know I always mean what I say."
"Are you just doing this so I'll be your manager again?"
"Of course, I want you to be my manager again but no, I'm not doing this because of that. I really mean it," he insisted.
With that said my decision was made. I let go of his hand and climbed on top of him. His wide eyes lasted only for a minute before lust flowed through them. Our lips met in a heated kiss.
----
Jirachin POV -
A month passed since I agreed to try and date Peem. Despite the heat of those first kisses we haven't done much else. At the most, all we've done is held hands as we watched a movie.
We've gone on a few dates, which consisted of me cooking for him at mine or his. Sometimes I hated that I couldn't go outside without being recognised. Peem was great though, he understood and seemed to like the intimacy of it.
Previous girlfriends had always wanted to go out to a party or a restaurant. They liked the idea of being seen with me more than if I was comfortable being seen.
Tonight, I was headed over to Peem's apartment. I'd planned on cooking him a meal and then hopefully if I played my cards right, I would stay the night. Kissing Peem had aroused me, even holding his hand was enough to get me going, or having him curl into me when we watched a movie had sent my heart racing.
Now I wanted more, I was ready for more and I think he was too. I'd caught him many times staring at my mouth, or my ass. Whenever we kissed he was always hard and flushed. I knew with a little push he would do more, but at the time, I didn't want to push him.
My heart hammered as I waited for him to open the door. When he did I couldn't help the wide smirk that spread across my face.
"I thought you were gonna stand me up," he greeted.
I smirked as I moved past him with the bags.
"Like I would do that to you," I called back as I made my way to the kitchen. "I had to wait for Lukchub and Ram to come with the bags."
After the meal, we sat on the sofa watching some random show. I had no idea what it was, my mind was too focused on his body next to mine.
For the first time in my life, I felt nervous. I wasn't a virgin by any means, at least not with the ladies, but I'd never slept with a man before. Many of the women I dated were on me as soon as we were alone and I knew how to satisfy their needs but this was Peem. I had no idea how to turn him on or even how to start anything.
"It's getting late," he muttered sleepily, turning off the TV and standing up.
He yawned and stretched, the action pulled his shirt up and my cock jerked. I stared hungrily at the small expanse of skin and wondered what it would taste like.
"Chin?"
I was startled at the sound of my name. My cheeks flamed as I travelled up his body. He was smirking at me. Peem's hand moved under his shirt and brought it up under the guise of scratching his chest.
His sculpted abs were calling to me. His eyes told me I knew what he was doing but I doubted he understood the depth of my desire. So, to show him, I moved quickly onto my knees and started to lap around his muscled stomach.
Peem gasped and quivered as I made my way up. I moved his shirt up as I went until I had no choice but to pull it off. His eyes were filled with lust and I pulled him in for a kiss.
Our mouths crashed and meshed as he moved me through the apartment. My hands snaked into his sweats and grabbed a handful of each cheek. I groaned as I realised he wasn't wearing any underwear.
"Fuck!" I groaned.
He smirked as he pushed me back. Peem crawled over me and I felt like prey. He straddled my waist and pulled at my shirt. Eagerly, I sat up and helped him remove it.
"Are you sure?" he asked once I'd thrown my shirt away.
I cupped his cheek and smiled softly up at him.
"I started this Peem," I reminded him.
"I know but …"
"But nothing Peem, I started it, I want it. I'm sure," I told him.
That must have broken the last of his resolve. Peem pushed me back down and covered my body with his. He made quick work of the rest of our clothes. As soon as I was naked under him I moaned at the feel of our heated skin meeting.
Peem's hard cock rubbed against mine and it sent wave after wave of pleasure up and down my spine. I moaned loudly and Peem smirked. Slowly, whilst keeping his eyes on mine he crawled down my body.
His mouth and tongue mapped out every line, muscle and groove in my body before finally reaching my cock. It was thick, red and throbbing. I desperately wanted him to touch it and maybe even suck it, I couldn't decide I just knew I wanted him.
"Peem! Please!" I begged.
With a wide smirk, he took me into his mouth and I bucked off the bed. He gagged a little but kept his mouth on my cock and sucked.
I felt close to my breaking point so I pulled Peem back up, latched onto his mouth and rolled us over. My hand travelled down his body and paused at his cock.
I lifted my head and stared down at it. Peem pulled my head back up and smiled softly at me.
"You don't need to do that for me, Chin. This is already beyond what I could have imagined," he offered.
I smirked and he blushed.
"You imagined this? What did you imagine Peem?" I teased. "Did you imagine my mouth on your skin?"
He moaned as I licked and sucked around his neck and down his chest.
"Did you imagine my hands all over your body, your cock?"
My hand rubbed his chest and moved back down to gently grip his erection. His body violently shivered and jerked under my touch.
"Did you imagine my tongue licking around the head of your cock? Or my dick in your ass pounding into you hard and fast or slow and soft?"
Peem moaned loudly as I crawled down his body and tentatively licked up his shaft. My hand pumped him in time as my tongue moved down to his balls. I took one sack into my mouth and sucked it before it popped out.
"Chin! I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that," he moaned.
"Well, we wouldn't want that would we," I teased again.
My cock was throbbing and longing to be inside him.
"Do you have any lube?" I asked.
Peem motioned for his nightstand and I hurriedly grabbed the bottle. I was about to open it when I paused.
"Do you have any condoms?" I asked.
He shook his head and gripped my hand.
"I want to feel you bare inside me Chin. I'm clean, I got tested just in case a few weeks ago. It's been a while since I've had sex but I still did it … for you," he finished with a blush.
My smile softened before I continued to lube up my cock and then his hole. His body convulsed as I slowly edged a finger inside. His eyes rolled back in his head as I added another finger. His body was very sensitive and I loved it.
----
Peem POV -
I felt like I couldn't catch my breath whilst my body was on fire. His touch ignited every nerve ending I had. I groaned when he pulled his fingers out but moaned when he pressed the head of his cock at my opening.
Gently, he pressed forward and I shook. It felt as if I was cumming without actually cumming. Chin groaned above me and my cock jerked at the sound.
"You're so tight!"
My hole clenched around him and he moaned even louder.
"You feel so good inside me!" I groaned.
At first, he set a slow pace which was agonising and arousing all at the same time. His thick cock pushed past my prostate every time sending my body into continual spasms.
"I'm going to cum!" I called out.
My untouched cock squirted hot jets of cum all over my abs as he continued to pump into me. I panted trying to catch my breath but he wasn't letting up.
His pace quickened and my softening cock began to harden again. My back was arched and my mouth hung open. Once again, he pulled out of me and I groaned.
"Ride me Peem," he moaned into my ear and I quivered.
He moved to lie down and I, eagerly, climbed on top. Quickly, I lined his cock with my hole and lowered myself down. I groaned once again and my hips started to buck on their own.
His hands gripped my hips and his eyes were glued to my cock as it bounced against his stomach and my own. With a groan, I moved my legs up so that my feet were on either side of his hips as I leaned back on my arms so I could move my hips even faster.
This new angle made my cock stiffen fully. It ached and I needed him to touch me.
"Please, touch me, Chin!" I moaned.
He seemed to know what I meant as his hand gripped me roughly and pumped furiously. Chin started to buck his hips up so I stilled, to allow him to pump me from below.
"Yes!" I cried.
"I'm close, Peem!" he called out as he started to jerk under me.
"Cum inside me!" I ordered as I pushed back against him.
"I'm cumming!"
My cock jerked in his hand as I came as well. He bucked a few times under me before stilling and panting hard.
I struggled to move off him as my body felt like jelly. He pulled me into him and I curled around him. I could feel his juices seeping out of my hole and I sighed happily.
"We should shower," he mused with a laugh.
"Nuh huh! Can't move," I mumbled.
He lifted but moved me off him. Begrudgingly, I followed him into the shower. My whole body felt tired and I wanted nothing more than to curl into the mattress. However, Chin made it up to me in the shower.
He'd taken me again against the shower wall. Pounding into me from behind hard and fast. I'd seen stars and my voice was hoarse when he finally released me.
After that, I was mush, Chin dried me off and carried me to bed. I snuggled into him and quickly fell asleep.
---
The next day, I awoke alone. The space next to me felt cold which had me worried that I'd dreamt last night. I grabbed a pair of boxers and a tank top and made my way, sleepily towards the kitchen.
The aroma hit me first before the sound of music. I rushed inside to see Jirachin, bare-chested, moving around my kitchen like he owned it.
"Good morning," he smiled as he placed a plate down.
I smiled as I took my seat, and waited for him. We ate in silence and my mind drifted back to the previous night. I could feel my cheeks burning as he looked at me and smirked.
"What are you thinking about?" He teased, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Shut up!" I blushed.
He laughed and I soon joined in, feeling light. As we were washing up his phone pinged and he moved away to answer it. A part of me started to worry.
We've not discussed us, since that first night and I was scared he would back out. He only wanted to try this to see if he could be with a man. What if, now that he's been with a man, he decides he can but just not with me?
Jirachin came back and I must have looked as worried as I felt.
"What's wrong?" he asked, taking my hands.
He moved us back to the table and kept hold of my hands.
"Tell me?" he urged.
"I was thinking about … us," I whispered.
"Us? What about us?"
"Well, we only started dating to see if you could be attracted to a man. Now that you've had sex with one, and gotten hard, what happens now?"
Jirachin smiled warmly at me. He moved over to the table and gave me a gentle kiss. It was slow and sensual and took my breath away just like the passionate ones from the night before.
When he pulled back his eyes held such warmth in them. I'd only ever seen him look at his family like that.
"I started this to see if I could be attracted to you, not to a man but to you. Yes, I'd never been with a man before but that doesn't mean that I would want just anyone."
He rubbed the stray tear that had fallen.
"You'd always been the constant thing in my life besides my family and I couldn't believe that I was hurting you. It's true I hadn't thought of you that way before, but I wanted to do this so I wouldn't lose you."
"When I first thought about getting into a relationship with you, I was worried that I would be just hurting you again if it didn't work. Then when I saw you I knew I had to try, so I was upfront with you. We both knew that it might not work."
I nodded as I smiled weakly.
"Yeah, you did. I didn't want to at first for that reason. I didn't know what would be worse. Never knowing how it would feel to be with you, or knowing and it not working out."
"That's why I didn't want you to hold back with me. I wanted you to be with me the same as you were with any other guy you'd dated."
"Well, I've done that," I affirmed.
"Yes you have," he smiled. "And I'm glad you did."
I stared at him wide-eyed. Hope bubbled slightly in my chest as I waited and held my breath.
"I can't imagine my life without you," he started and I burst out crying. "I'm never letting you go, Peem. I don't care if you're my manager or not. All I know is that I want to be with you, I want to fuck you so hard you can't walk for days and I want you to know that you are mine!"
He pulled me in for a deep kiss as I cried. After all this time, I could finally have who I've always wanted.