Chapter 1 - Alex
'You are so obvious," Bai Lang chuckled.
I glared and continued to wipe down the bar. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched RJ move around the restaurant. He looked far more confident in himself now, more sure of himself.
He laughed and joked with customers, flitted around the place and looked good doing it.
Over the past year, after Bai got with the dentist and his sister married, life had returned to normal. I had expected RJ to go back home, especially after the scare with his dad, and when he started college but he continued working.
"You ok?"
I jumped at the sound of his voice. He looked so concerned as he watched me. I nodded and turned to do something, no idea what but something.
"You sure?" he asked.
"Yeah, get back to work," I chastised.
"Yes, boss!" he joked.
I went back to watching him and Bai Lang just chuckled.
"What was it you said to me before? … oh yeah … YOLO! You only live once!"
"Shut up!" I glared at him.
Of course, I'd said that to him when he was whining about whether or not he would be a good fit for the dentist. Now the smug bastard was turning it back on me.
It's different for me though. For one, RJ is so young. I know I'm not an old man but I'm a good twelve years older than him. Also, he's inexperienced with relationships. I feel like I would be taking advantage of him or stopping him from being young and hanging out with his friends.
I work, go home and then go back to work. I'm not a fan of going out or hanging in large crowds of people. Me and Bai Lang sometimes eat out after work but not always, even less, now that he is in a relationship.
I cleared my head when a woman walked up to the bar. She looked beautiful, with flowing black hair, a lithe body and a dress that showed all her lines.
She gave me a smile that I knew was meant to be seductive but it turned my stomach instead. I preferred RJ's innocent and silly smiles.
"Can I have a Cupid's Kiss," she breathed.
I rolled my eyes at her choice of cocktail. It was one of the few drinks that is said to get you in the mood or to at least signal to who you are with that it's what you want.
I eyed the group of girls she was with, I could tell she wasn't getting it for one of them as they were all watching us.
"Sorry, that's not on our menu, can we make you something else?"
RJ's eyes said it all that I couldn't help but smile at him. They said 'Back off, he's mine!' The woman stared between us and then at his hand before smiling sickly sweet at me.
"Honey, a man like you can't be only into guys, right? A guy as big and hot as you needs a real woman. This kid doesn't look right next to you. How about you and I go somewhere and I'll show you what you've been missing out on with this one."
RJ's hand dropped from my shoulder and I saw him sag next to me. I didn't like the look on his face. It said he knew the woman was right and that he stood no chance.
I grabbed a glass, filled it with water and passed it to her. She raised her eyebrow at it before looking back at me.
"This is to cool you off," I started to explain. "A woman like you shouldn't come up to guys and invite them to fuck you up against a wall."
Her face blushed bright red and I smirked.
"Also, if a guy is taken, don't act like a slut and try to seduce them because if they are willing to cheat on their partners with you then they will definitely cheat on you."
I turned, and kissed RJ's cheek, before walking off into the back. A chuckle escaped me as I headed downstairs to get something from the storage room. RJ followed me.
"What was that?" he asked.
"What?" I responded
"You told that woman you were taken, and kissed my cheek," he sounded out of breath.
"Yeah, so?"
I tried to act cool as if it was nothing.
"You told her I was taken so I had to play along."
"Was that why?" he asked, sounding dejected.
I should have screamed 'no!' I should have told him I did it because I like him but instead, to still appear cool, I nodded and said ….
"Hmm"
Before walking back upstairs.
Chapter 2 - RJ
Stupid! Stupid!
I ranted in my head for the rest of the night. Of course, he hadn't done that because he wanted to, he was only playing along.
It was strange though, I'd caught him watching me for some time now so it was obvious there was some attraction there … right?
Thankfully, that woman and her friends had left by the time I came back up so I didn't have to deal with them. Bai Lang nodded at me but I avoided his gaze. Instead, I chose to ignore Alex for the rest of the night.
When closing time came around, I let out a sigh because I was exhausted. Not only had it been busy but trying to actively ignore someone that's in the room was draining.
"RJ!" Bai Lang called out.
I looked up and saw him sitting with Alex and the other waiter.
"Yeah?" I asked, avoiding Alex's gaze.
"We're going for something to eat. Do you want to come with us?"
He motioned between him and Alex and it took everything in me not to glance his way.
"No that's ok," I smiled.
"You sure, my treat," he offered.
I shook my head, "Thanks but I'm beat, goodnight."
I waved and headed downstairs to my makeshift room. I had enough saved up now to rent a small place but I'd been putting it off as I wanted to be near Alex. Maybe it was time to finally get it in my head that he was not into me.
I pulled up my phone and brought up the few listings I'd bookmarked. My mother had sent me some money to help me but I didn't want to use it, so I made sure to only pick places that I could afford on my own.
---
A week later, at the end of the night, I took a deep breath and approached Bai Lang and Alex.
"Boss," I started.
Both turned to look at me but I still avoided Alex's eyes.
"Yeah?"
"I've found a place to rent so I'll be moving out of the store room tomorrow. I just wanted to thank you both for giving me a place to stay. Don't worry I'll still be working here."
I smiled and then gave a little bow before going downstairs. My heart felt heavy as I finished packing the remaining items I had into my large bag.
I looked around the dark room and sighed. This place held a lot of meaning. Mainly, this was where I had my first proper kiss with Alex. The one to piss off my dad didn't count. Even though he didn't respond to either situation, I'm still counting the second kiss as the first.
The next morning no one was around as usual when I left. I had expected, or rather hoped, Alex would have come to at least see me off but he didn't. I chastised myself again for thinking he cared more for me.
I settled in fairly well as I didn't have much to put away. Life didn't change much, I went to school, went to work and came home. As the days passed I continued to ignore Alex and each day he didn't try to reach out to me.
I decided it was enough. One evening I asked Bai Lang if I could have the Friday night off. I lied and said it was a friend's birthday party. He agreed and I nodded as I left my place. Tonight, I was going to meet someone and move on from Alex.
The club was loud and packed with people. I instantly felt uncomfortable as I sat at the bar. The bartender was friendly, asked for ID and then handed me a beer when I showed him.
As the night went on, every guy I saw I compared to Alex, no one measured up.
"Watched you checking people out, are you looking for someone in particular? Or waiting for someone?"
A cute, tall, blonde-haired guy smiled as he sat next to me. He looked nothing like Alex. Maybe that was what I needed.
"So?" he asked.
"Oh... I'm not waiting for anyone," I told him.
"That's good, so you're looking to meet someone then?" he asked.
"Yeah sort of," I confirmed.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I want to get over someone."
"Did you guys break up?"
I shook my head, "No, we were never together. I wanted to, but he never saw me that way."
The stranger took my hand and smiled before getting up and pulling me along.
We headed towards the back of the club. He pulled me through the back exit. When we got into the alley he pushed me up against a wall and went to kiss my neck. It felt strange and unsettling.
I could feel his hands gripping my ass and I hated it. His erection pushed against me and my stomach lurched. With as much strength as I could, I pushed him back. He stumbled.
"I'm sorry, I think I should go."
I tried to leave but he pulled me back.
"I don't think so shorty," he sneered before grabbing me again.
Again, I tried to push him off me. Panic was gripping my heart now as I realised we were alone, the music from the club was too loud for anyone to hear me.
I tried to pull his hair and knee him but it just pissed him off. He punched me in the stomach and I collapsed clutching my stomach.
"You fucking prick. I hate bitches like you!" he sneered as he kicked me over and over. "You obviously want to be fucked but when someone comes up to do it you say you have to go."
My world went black and my last thought was Alex and how stupid I felt.
Chapter 3 - Alex
My gut clenched as I watched RJ tell us he was moving out and then walking away. I wanted to go after him to tell him to stay but I didn't have that right.
He was a young kid who needed to go out and have fun. I watched as he left the bar the next morning, and even followed him to his new place. It looked like a dive but it was better than the storeroom. I felt proud of him.
He struck me as a spoiled rich kid, rebelling against his parents when I first met him. Now here he was renting his own place, from money he had made on his own without any help from his parents.
RJ was still avoiding me and I hated it. He didn't seem as happy and carefree as he did before and I knew it was my fault. When he'd asked Bai Lang for the night off I'd wanted Bai to refuse.
I didn't like the idea of him going to a club. Despite it being the reason as to why I wouldn't go after him. I've had a sour look on my face all night and my regulars who'd usually come talk to me had avoided me. Everyone except Bai Lang.
"You've only got yourself to blame, you know that right?" Bai Lang said before walking off.
Of course, I knew, he was most likely dancing away and meeting some young guy his own age. He'll come in tomorrow and start boasting about his night and the guy he met.
Later that night, I sat at the bar drinking when my phone started ringing. I didn't even look at who it was.
"Hello," I answered.
"Hello, my name is Officer Kai, is this Alex Chou?"
My body went stiff as I sat up straight.
"Yes, this is Alex Chou."
"I was called to an incident at the back of the Roulette bar. A young man was attacked and is now at the Heartfield Hospital. He was unconscious when we arrived but woke up briefly and said to call you before passing out again."
I instantly shot up and started heading for the door.
"I'm on my way."
I hung up and called Bai as I went before speeding towards the hospital. It had to be RJ, who else would say to call me but why had his friend's party been at the Roulette bar? It was a well-known gay bar with a bad reputation.
As soon as I reached the hospital and discovered which floor he was on, a police officer met me at the nurses station. He showed me to the room and my heart stopped.
RJ looked like he'd been beaten quite badly, his face was covered in dried blood and bruises.
"A worker found him towards the end of the night and called it in. Are you family?"
I shook my head, "No, I'm his boss. He's not really speaking to his family at the minute. I'll contact them."
"His boss? He must think highly of you," he nodded.
"Do you know what happened?"
"From what we can tell from the bar's CCTV, someone approached him and they left out the back. He was pushed up against the wall and the other guy started touching him. He pushed him away but the other guy got angry and tried to force himself on him. When that didn't work he started beating him up. We've already identified the individual and arrested him."
He met someone and was attacked?
"What about his friends? Why didn't they look after him?" I asked.
"Friends? Was he out with others? We watched him sitting at the bar on his own from the moment he arrived."
He lied? Why did he lie?
"Maybe they hadn't arrived before this happened," the officer suggested.
I nodded and he left. The doctor came in and told me RJ had a few broken ribs and a broken wrist. He'd suffered several blows to the head but luckily there didn't seem to be any swelling or internal bleeding at the moment but they were keeping him in to check.
I called Bai Lang and told him what had happened. He told me to stay with RJ and he would sort out the bar. To be fair he didn't need to tell me to do that, I was going to do that anyway no matter what.
Whilst I waited I reached for my phone and was about to call his mum when a groan distracted me.
RJ was blinking his eyes and groaning in pain.
"Don't try to move too much," I told him as I stopped his movements.
"Alex?"
"Yeah, it's me," I told him. "Get some rest, I'll be here."
RJ looked around the room and then back at me.
"Why are you here?" he croaked.
"You told them to call me, don't you remember?"
He shook his head and groaned.
"Get some more rest, we'll talk later."
I gently gripped his uninjured hand and held it as he drifted back to sleep. My heart broke at seeing him lying there.
Chapter 4 - RJ
Everything hurts! Even just opening my eyes makes the throbbing in my head worse. The only time it eased was when the next round of pain meds came but they made me sleepy too. That was a good thing. I think!
Alex was at my side every time I woke up, but I couldn't talk to him until a few days later. Eventually, I was able to sit up without too much discomfort.
"I called your mum," he said and gripped my hand when he looked at me. "Don't worry I didn't say you got beaten up, I just told her you tripped at work and broke your wrist. She wanted to visit but I convinced her you would be embarrassed to be seen like that."
"You must have a magic spell cast on my mum."
"I just talk to her like an adult," he chastised, making me feel like a scolded kid.
"It's hard to do when they only see you as a kid," I mumbled.
"Then stop acting like one," he chastised.
I turned my head away, not wanting to be reminded that he also saw me like my parents did … a kid.
I heard a huff and then felt his hand on mine. Not wanting his pity I pulled my hand away.
"I'm fine now, you can go."
"You little brat, I'm not going anywhere."
I glared at him.
"Don't call me that! I'm not a brat nor am I a kid!"
"Then why did you lie that you were going to a friend's party?"
Instinctively, my eyes darted down and I couldn't face him. How could I tell him I lied so that I could get over him? How could I say - I wanted to meet someone else to help me get over my feelings for you?
Alex would call me a kid and tell me to find someone else but not at a bar.
"Well," he asked.
"I… I …" I couldn't think of an excuse.
"RJ," he sighed.
I glanced at him and he looked sad, regretful even.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"For what?" I asked with wide eyes.
"You went out looking for someone else, didn't you?"
My wide eyes and open mouth must have confirmed it for him.
"You did it because of me, didn't you? Because I …"
"Because you don't want me, do you," I laughed humorlessly. "I'm too young, I'm inexperienced, I'm a spoiled brat, oh and I don't know anything, right?"
Every word was like a stab to my heart.
"Is that how you see yourself? Or how you think I see you?" he asked.
"It's how you see me, it's how you've always seen me."
He looked thoughtful as he stared hard at me, almost too hard. I was starting to fidget under his intense eyes.
"It's not how I see you, RJ," I whispered.
"Yes, it is!" I demanded, not wanting to believe differently.
"No it isn't," he insisted. "I know you think that's why I've never responded to you but it isn't."
"Then why? I know I've made it obvious, I've even kissed you twice. Even though the first time shouldn't count. Why have you pushed me away again and again?"
Alex rubbed his face and stood up. I watched as he walked over to the window and sighed, all I could do was wait for him.
He looked back at me with a strange look on his face, one I couldn't understand. I wanted to scream at him to talk to me, tell me something but the doctors came in and he had to wait outside.
They said I was well enough to go home and Alex insisted on taking me. Since I'd moved out he hadn't seen my new place. As we drove I suddenly felt nervous. Would he laugh at how small and shabby it was?
He helped me inside, turned the light on and guided me to the small sofa I had. Once I was down he looked around and I waited.
"Alex?" I asked as he remained silent.
"I didn't push you away because I thought of you as a kid. I pushed you away because I'm older than you and don't like socialising with big groups. I rarely go out and I work a lot. I'm not someone that should be with someone so young."
"Is that it? I asked incredulously.