"Earth to Issy", Gabby,one of my best friends snapped her fingers at me. I looked at her in a daze, trying to comprehend what latest college campus gossips she was filling me in, and barely gave her a smile.
"I swear Issy, I'm going to hack that Roy to death with the most blunt machette I lay my hands on. You don't deserve to be treated like trash'", she fumed while I winced at the word 'trash'. Wasn't it the truth though? Wasn't I letting myself be used by Roy and be his ugly secret though?
I tried to blink those tears threatening to fall and refused to cry there at the ice cream parlour, Gabby had so generously brought me to, knowing so well that I had been crying last night.
"Issy, I love you and I will always stand by your decisions but you need to love yourself as well", Gabby added. Gabby and Aurora were my two best friends who loved me to the moon and back, and I,them.
"Thank you Gabby, I don't even know what I'd do without you", I thanked Gabby which only made her look hurt. "Issy, don't you dare thank me. We are friends and I love you and care for you. I'm not Roy who doesn't give a shit about you",she stated,clearly not hiding her disdain for Roy.
"You know,he's not all that bad except for the times he's flirting with other girls on and off social media", I tried telling Gabby despite her giving me the contradictory look. "Which is why we hate him, for not appreciating a beautiful person like you", Aurora,who had just taken the seat next to me, said.
"Love, you do know you deserve the best right?Heck, we'll find one for ya if you would only leave that no good piece of shit", she added.
If only they knew that I wasn't the girl they thought I was. That I was already tainted and not pure. That no guy would want to take me to be their wife and give me a happy home I so longed for.
But I only smiled sadly at my two best friends and tried to make them understand how it was not all that bad with Roy,much to their protest.
"Ok, lets not dwell on stupid Roy and his stupid antics. Its our date and we can't spoil our date anymore by even mentioning his name", Gabby declared taking the load off of me and I silently thanked her with a smile.
We returned to Gabby's much later, and indulged ourselves to a movie marathon. I had never been a movie buff before I met them, but I obliged as always because,it was not about the movies, it was the company that I enjoyed and being with these two brought so much light to my not so bright world.
I stayed with them until early evening and left for my own room as we were still college students and we all needed to set apart time for our studies and assignments as well.
Back in my room, I stared at the phone for a hundreth time,checking for any calls or messages that Roy might have left me. I missed him.But there was none, no missed calls,not even a message. I even logged into my facebook to check whether he was online, and online he was. A pang of jealousy and insecurity hit me.
Was he flirting again with that Alyssa? After all,they were supposed to be 'in a relationship',at least on facebook. I wondered if Alyssa knew about me,but given how popular Roy was, and how everyone knew we used to date, I was sure Alyssa would have got wind of our relationship though she was in a different college.
"He's online so he is at least well and doing good,and that's all that matters", I consoled myself.
After dinner with Gabby and Aurora in Aurora's room, I came back to my room for my usual routine. I took out my many assignments and started filling them.
Sad I might be,broken I might be, but I couldn't throw away the blood and tears my parents had so painstakinly shed to fulfil my dreams. Only,it wasn't easy to somehow get over the fact that my love life seemed to be crumbling into pieces. However, I had to try and try I would.