"Very funny, I plan to meet the other cats with murder. I just hate that I have to become a cat to do it." I replied.
That said, I flexed a powerful paw and flexed my claws a few times. This felt powerful, almost addicting. A grin curled onto my cat face and my whiskers twitched. I felt very dangerous, I can do some serious damage with this. But why did it have to be a stupid cat!
(So cat, all of the other cats can do this? No wonder you're taking over planets.)
(Some cats, not all. They have to be direct descendents of a true clan line and have a bonded human.)
(Is that like our royalty, you aren't going to start demanding that I call you royal majesty or something are you?)
(Could be fun, but no I have better things to do.)
I paused, his tone on that reply changed slightly as if annoyed and angry.
(Wait does this have to do with you not being the original, what did you call it? True cat candidate? The thing the other cat was supposed to do?)
He seemed to scoff.
(I may not have been the first pick, but I have all the qualifications. I am of true clan blood, and I have the ability to bond.)
(Touchy, what is the real story?) I could practically smell him lying.
(Okay fine, my dad might be from the true cat line and might have had a second lady friend that was my mom okay? Happy now human?)
(Oh so that's why they hate you.)
I smirked to myself, and unofficial royal true cat. This just got better and better.
(That's also why we can't let any of them find out I'm not SnowFall. Got it human? None of them. We have to play our cards perfectly.)
(Okay then whats your actual name? SnowSpat?)
(Don't be ridiculous, that's a cousin of mine.)
(Wait really? And your name is?)
(You know, I'm not going to tell you after all.)
(Lame, SnowSpat it is, or are you like SnowFlake or SnowBall? SnowBall and SnowFall, I could see that.)
(Your insufferable, I should just die and try again in my next life. If I hurry I bet I could make it back here in a week.)
(So Splatty, you okay with nicknames?)
(Do you want to die human.)
(If I do I'm taking you with me cat.)
He hissed in my head which was even weirder than the purr.
(Oh I'm sorry, were your parents unoriginal since they don't like you? Is your name like SnowSnow? Or maybe SnowPlow?)
(Now you are just being ridiculous human.)
(Ah so it's SnowShovel, my mistake.)
(It's SnowFall to you human. Great rats alive, last thing I need is you slipping up with my real name.)
(Sure thing SnowSled.)
(I'm sorry SnowFall, I might kill your human pick long before the game even starts.)
(Ah so they disinherited you and you can't use the name Snow? Are you like IcePick then? Or maybe just Pick? Ooh did they name you something hideous like PickerOfTheNose?)
A searing pain struck me and I collapsed to the ground. My eyes swam for a second then cleared and I saw the half kitten's face glaring at me.
"Dumb human." He spat.
"Least I'm no longer a cat. What a horrible feeling that was." I retorted.
"We are done for the night," He spat then paused and frowned with a very annoyed look on his face. "No sadly I need you to be a somewhat functional cat within ten days so I will have to start tonight. What a bother."
"Somewhat functional cat? What's that even supposed to mean?"
I swear he rolled his eyes before jumping back inside of me, which again was too weird to truly put into words.
(Turn into the snow leopard again)
(How much is it worth to you?)
(Do you want to kill cats or be killed on the spot?)
(Okay fine)
I felt a weird tingling sensation all over my body again as it morphed into a cat.
(Okay now the first goal is super simple even I kitten is born knowing how to do it?)
(What we going to play with a ball of yarn?)
(Nope, you just have to walk from here, in your bedroom, down the stairs into your kitchen and back.)
(Okay that's easy, what's the hard part.)
(Just do it.)
(Whatever)
I stuck out a paw in front of me and started to shift my weight forward but my paws slipped to the sides and I face planted into the floor.
A ridiculously loud laughing purr echoed in my head.
(Great catnip! I thought for sure SnowFall was joking when he said he was going to have to train his human to walk.)
(Haha very funny, let's make you human for a day and see how you like it.)
(And be furless, I wouldn't be caught dead like that! Now come on it's just to your kitchen and back, what is it you humans say piece of a cakewalk?)
Turns out being a cat is rather difficult. I carefully stretched a paw in front of me and sat it down gently this time as I shuttered to think about the repair bill on the other six holes I had already made in my floor. Stupid cat should have had me learn to walk outside.
At the same time I couldn't stop grinning like a madman. I was so powerful right now, these cats weren't just big kitties, oh no I had the equivalent of super strength and speed. The only problem was, my poor apartment was paying a hefty price for it. It already looked like a terrible beast had a war with a whale in here.
I got annoyed and moved a paw to fast.
"Shoot no!" I yelped as my paw crashed through the leg of my table and it snapped off.
The table careened sideways and I stared and it then winced as it crashed onto me. It didn't hurt, nope these cats also seemed way too durable, but now I also needed a new table! I don't think my 'teacher' will give me any reimbursements.
(Keep moving weakling, you haven't even reached the stairs yet.)
I carefully managed to wander through the doorway and into the hall. Then I arrived at the cliff. Should I just give up now and start sliding down? Little Snowy might make me do it again, that would be tragic.
I gritted my teeth, at least nothing would hurt except my pride.
I put my first paw on a step.
(Fur-real! You're kitten me right!)
(What you never said how we had to go down?)
(Okay, I thought it was obvious! No! You cannot crawl backwards down it like a baby.)
(Fine just change the rules why don't you.)
I scoffed and faced down the steps again. Just a few steps what could really happen? Ah my poor pride already died and so too will my spotless stairs. Maybe I can claim insurance by pretending I came home to this mess? Burglary? Would they believe me if I said I was visited by a werewolf?
I reached out a paw and placed it on the first step while keeping my weight back. Then I reached out my second front paw and placed it on a step. I started to skid and dug in my claws wincing at the splintering wood. But then I dug my claws in too much, the stair snapped in two, and a giant ball of fluffy destruction was released at cannonball speed into my living room.
I stayed motionless on the ground for a second among the broken glass. Ah I give up, I really hope my insurance company is too lazy to come out and see the actual damage. This, anyone would have questions after seeing this.
All it needed was a little blood and it would look like a psycho serial killer had been living here for decades.