Dear self,
it takes alot of strength to pull yourself out of dark space mentally alone. Be proud of how far you have come. You fight so many battles that no one else is aware or even could survive. Be proud. You are braver than you imagine. Stop hiding the real you from others fearing rejection. Stop showing only the parts that you think are only acceptable to others. Your soul is not wasted space on earth.
God removed those toxic people for a reason. And, he will continue to do it. So you can finally have peace. Its okay to let someone else love you. That past love wasn't for you. Allah blessed you with better quality. Enjoy this new journey with him He accepted you even knowing you may die.
cancer may took the old me away. But the new me is even better and wiser . Enjoy the new life even though you have that diagnosis. Stop letting it control your life.
i know you're tired of scans, anxiety etc. Its irritating as hell with the constant bone pain, nausea, anxiety and forgetfulness. Take it easy on yourself. I love you :)