The sun peeked behind the grey-ish clouds, while it drizzled.
Luckily, I had my black umbrella with me. My aunt's gift, engraved with her family name on it.
Scared, that somehow my curriculum vitae and application might get wet, I took a deep breath, before entering the book store.
Look at all these full bookshelfs, the books waiting to be bought and the worlds within them to be explored, was the first thought I had. I trampled with my shoes on the foot carpet, to get rid off of the dirt caused by the now showery weather.
Quit fortunate. I don't want to conjure something bad, but somehow everything goes suspiciously well. I looked at my phone. I was perfectly on time. Since there was no one at a time like this at a book store, I tried to walk in confidently. I looked around, admiring the smell of old and new books. I already love it.
The only thing I'm able to love. Books.
~
"What is this?", says the man in front of me. My father. Looking down at me, he tears the poster I made, perfectly through the middle.
"Thinking this would help with your studies. I knew your friends would influence you in a bad way", he scoffs. "You are better alone, or they will drag you also down", he adds.
~
It was a poster for the school
band in the middle school. My classmates wanted me to draw, since they thought I was good at drawing. I spent hours for that poster, just to be ripped apart and thrown away as if it was just some of my old sketches. I stiffened at that memory. Good that I stopped drawing after that.
This place was kind of refreshing, since I was away from that place. It was big, had multiple floors, even the ceiling was pretty high. It looked old, but also modern.
"-Iss..."
Lost in my thoughts, a feminine voice teared me away from being too much in my head.
"Miss, are you the one who wanted to work here part-time?", she said.
I turned around to take a look at her. She was uniquely beautiful. Her curly brown hair hung right above her shoulders. Her bangs touching her long eyelashes. Her dark skin shone because of the sun rays that touched her.
Admiring her clean face, she smiled at me. I lightly blushed, since I didn't know for how long I was staring at her.
"My colleague received your call and told me about you. I'm really excited for you to introduce yourself, since we're short on staff.", she said.
She was around her twenties. I enjoyed her presence, it was positive, exciting, yet calm and quiet.
Soon she led me into another room where we could talk. I got to know her name.
Saffiya.
Suprisingly, the interview went really good and fast, that I ended up getting the job. We exchanged numbers, after saying good bye I went home.
The rain stopped half an hour ago, the streetfloor still muddy. It was quiet, for a saturday afternoon.
I didn't want to go home, where those people lived.
All they did and still do is looking down at me, as if I was a rat, aching for love.
I stopped wanting to get attention and love from them. I will leave as soon as I get my first payment.
After my dad remarried, there was never peace at this household.
He literally waited for my mum to die.
He never loved her.
I still keep thinking how it would've been, if she wouldn't have married my dad.
She would live in peace, and not have such a dissapointing daughter.
Do you see me mum?
How I'm disappointing everyone, by simply just existing?
I promised that I atleast would protect you. Ironic isn't it?
That you died, although I stroved for it; To die.
Catching myself, diving again into my thoughts and overthinking, I got interrupted by a little boy, crying on the dirty road edge. Wondering, what may happened, I stared at him.
Did he lose his parents? Is he lost?
As I got nearer to him, he looked into my direction, locking his eyes with mine.
I guess I probably got caught.
I sat next to him, looking directly into his eyes.
"What happened?", I asked camly, trying to give him a smile.
He stopped crying, his tears falling down his cheeks.
He started to smile.
"Funny, that we are both crying", he said.
I widened my eyes.
Again, I tried to give him a smile.
"I'm not cryi-"
He wiped away my tears away from my cheeks. As he did that, I became concious of my tears.
Why am I crying?
"Thank you, young man. Now, may I know what made you cry?", I said trying to change the subject.
He told me, that recently his cat died. I tried to comfort him. Obviously I couldn't let him stay there on the muddy road, so I brought him to his house.
He gave me the adress.
"Let's meet up again, next time. Afterall I made a new friend", he said.
Cute. I thought.
My dad was strict, even as my mum was alive.
After she died, about two years ago, he has given up on me, because he now had a new family.
Forgetting his past, with my mum and his one and only daughter.
Me.
He had an affair with that woman, while mum was still alive.
Through this affair, a son names Luca was born.
I don't want to disturb their lovely family time, which destroyed mine, but I stopped to care.
The man who ruined my world.
Took my friends away.
My fun, so I could become the best.
Just so he could throw me away a few years later.
Laughable and pathetic, how he could destroy a seventeen year old girl's life, just through mental pressure and missing affection.
I took this job, for two reasons. First, so I can stay away from that place full of people who don't want me there.
And second, so I can live without depending on anyone.
As I entered the apartment, my phone buzzed.
A message from my aunt. I smiled at the thought of her.
Thanks to her I'm not dead yet. She kind of built me up again.
[ From: Aunt Sarah
-How are you doing? Did you get the job? Are you hungry? Come over if you need someone to talk. ]
I let out a loud sigh, laughing at her concern.
I thank her for her offer, but decline.
[ I got the job, thank you for your support. But I have to prepare some stuff for school and the job. Gotta have an exemplary manner. Maybe next time, love you. ]
I answer. I head into my room, putting my bag down to the floor. I let myself fall into my bed. My phone buzzes again. I take a look. Saffiya.
[ From: Saffiya
-Good evening, I know this is very spontanious, but do you think you could come tomorrow to the book store? Apparently, the staff wanted to get to know you and show you around. I hope you can! ]
On a sunday? I didn't have any plans for sunday, so it didn't really bother me.
[ To: Saffiya
-Yes, it would be no problem for me. I can come at 2pm. ]
I took a quick shower, and changed into my pjamas. I ate some leftovers from yesterday for dinner. Alone, since once for this weekend they were on a trip. I could eat in peace.
It was already 01:34 am.
The time went by so fast. I brushed my teeth and went to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up because of the ringing of my phone.
Aunt Sarah.
"Hello?", I said trying to sound awake.
"Hey, love. Come over, I made breakfast. Don't fall asleep again, so hurry"
"How did you know that I was still sleep-"
"Girl, I know you for your whole life. I obviously know that. So hurry up, it looks so delicious. I can't promise that there will be anything left for you."
I giggled and changed into my everyday clothes, brushed my teeth and finally made my bed.
As I arrived she gave me a big hug. We ate together, I stayed there till 1 pm.
I helped her out.
I remembered that I would have to go to the book store, so I went there.
The boss was an older woman. Despite of her having a small figure, she came off as a very serious, wise and cute woman.
I met Saffiya and the staff , they showed me around.
They also told me that, as a worker here, you could lend some books, with the condition that in the end there will be no scratches.
In the end, I could look around the last time. My eyes catched a rather interesting book, catchy to the eye.
It was old, but I could tell it was supposed to look new.
As if they intentionally tried to make it look like a very modern bookcover, but somehow something made it look old.
In the end, I borrowed it. Since my shift would begin directly monday after school, I could read it on my break, or even while i'm working.
We wished each other a good cooperation, and went home.
I did my homework, ate dinner, changed into my pjamas, brushed my teeth and went directly to sleep. Somehow I was very tired.
The next morning everything went as usual.
I packed my school stuff and the book I borrowed from the book store into my bag.
Before they could even come, I went off to school.
School was the same.
Since it was the end of the year, we already had our final exams.
After school, I headed to the book store.
My shift went easy, since there were not a lot of customers.
I sometimes got to see Saffiya, but she was busy with work.
So, I decided to take a look at the book.
The book cover was old.
It was simply covered with the color bordeaux. The edges were dark golden.
I didn't notice it earlier, but it had neither a title nor the name of the author on it, but I assumed it was a fantasy novel, since it was in the fantasy department.
I was very tired, but the book was very interesting.
There was no real enemy, or villain. All of those characters, had their reasons to act like how they acted.
That was what I thought. But the book, the people and even the society made the female lead a villainess.
Yes, it was a story about a main lead, who throughout the story, became the villainess.
She was being used by this title, so anyone could tell that there was a villain, an antagonist in this story.
But it was kind of forced.
The book sacrificed her, so all of the events could be her fault.
So everyone had someone who they could blame for their own mistakes.
As I continued to read the book, I felt how my eyelids became heavier and heavier.
Soon I fell asleep.
I was...
dreaming?
I became aware that I was falling in my dream. Deeper and deeper.
Or was it a high place?
I was still falling.
I couldn't control what would happen. I couldn't open my eyes.
It was too surreal to be the reality, but the falling felt real.
I then fell asleep again.
I woke up, through a sudden pain over all of my body.
I didn't understand what happened.
But the only thing I could tell was, that I was in a different place.
Where am I ?