This is a true story: My name is stacian Mcfarlane name change, they call me alpha girl I grew up into children's home in my country Jamaica, I was born on January 2nd at the jubilee hospital in Kingstown Jamaica in the year (1986). Like most children who grew up into children's home, some of them had parents but for some reason they find themselves into foster homes are a children homes, while some of them, there parents could not manage to take care of Them so they turn them over into children's home.
But for me my story is way far different from must of the children's that are there, my mother gave me away from I was a baby so I became an orphan. I grew up not knowing any of my biological parents, no mother neither no father, I have grew up not knowing so I am a motherless child, God is my father and mother I knew from birth. life in the children home is not bad when you are a baby you gain everyone attention but as soon, you started to grow older anyone hardly have time for you again. well in my case I didn't felt that type of love, like what am trying to give to my children now. I didn't get the opportunity in my days to freely express myself on anything like how feel about something!! kids these day really are fortunate to get the opportunity to express their little feelings, it's what given to me I would have to take but I didn't have much sense when I was young. I didn't knew what I know now like back then, life in the children home is kinda military, it not like when you are living in your normal home with your normal families living your normal life, when I was there we had to wake up every morning before the sun rises and make our bed's that the first thing we do when we wake up, then do our duties before we can go bath/go to school. The bigger ones help looks offer breakfast an also help to look offer the litter one, some of our duties are cleaning, wash the dishes, ironing an cooking, sometimes the bigger children Cooke's when the cook is not around, we have to complete our duties before going to school. when I was at the children's home I felt like a prisoner, I felt like I have been sentence for a crime I didn't not commit are I am enslaved with chains around my neck, hands and foot. I never felt like anyone loves me I always felt rejected; I never had a bond like must babies who had bonds with there mother's. I sometimes pray to God for me to know my mother even till this today am still praying to know her I try to find her but am unsuccessfully in finding her. In the home from time to time we had a whole lots of visitors from walks of life different part of the world come to visit the children's home where I was, every year when they come to the home, they carrie with them toys an goodies they even bring money too, that's the only happy time in my life but they are gone I go right back down to square one. Feel sad again still gone back into that world of depression. Even though there have been some good times like what I just mentioned earlier, there were times when things go easy and smooth for me like when get to watch a lot of TV but there are times when the house mother's get really strict on us when they are having a bad day, sometimes they hit us for nothing! Not telling you that I am a saint but sometimes we are innocent but there are times when they causes to get ugly on them to send up there blood pressure but you we are children's what can we do? First of all we don't understands certain things, we definitely don't understand how not to give trouble we weren't bad children's at all. All we need was Love, attention and understanding but that wasn't around. Lucky for some they have it but for me I didn't. Anyway as time passes by we get older not babies anymore or little toddlers anymore because we are going into teenager stage, as children home children's are a not term that they use for us is ward of the state because we are into government care, those are the terms people use for us untill we becomes of age(18) the government of Jamaica no longer in charge of us no more that's when we are free under the law. So as children's home children when we becomes teenagers they moved us from one home's to another home until we becomes 18years then we go out on our home, if we don't runaway before that time. I was sent to a girls home where it's just only girls no boys. Life there was hard for me even though it was already hard at the first home where I was but it even harder cause I see alots of bigger girls than I am, out of my group I was the only one that sent to this home, there were no one else with me apart from me and the Lord, I wasn't happy I felt even more like I was in prison. The house mother's here are even rougher than the one's before, I never knew I would feel this way in my whole entire life. The house mother's here they are very shameful very ugly, there faces are always hard to look at. I was so afraid of them. Living girls home wasn't what I pray for but as time goes by I learn how to adjust myself I also learn how to be brave and bold but that alone did not measure up to the way how I felt inside of me, I wish that I did knew my parents, I wish they were there for me especially my mother. when everyone is going home for the holidays I have to stay at the home cause there's anyone for me to take me with them for the holidays, l feel sad, sometimes on Christmas it's me alone in that old empty dorm room I cry, I cry an I cried but only God knows where my real family are and who are they...