Adelaide's P.O.V
Me and Benjamin simply stood there in each others embrace.
I could not build up the courage to look him in the eye and that was when I heard him sigh.
While patting my head gently he spoke out to me. "Something is wrong right?". His voice was feeble but audible, especially since he spoke right into my ear.
There was sincere concern in his voice and yet I was not ready to reside in him. Solely because...
Because...
It would break me.
Trample and suffocate me.
All- all over again.
"I just missed you too much I guess haha..." -I spoke out, cringing at my dry laugh and lack of humor.
"Save it, I'm not as foolish as you take me to be. If missing someone made a person so frail and" he slightly lifted my chin to take a look at my face with a sad smile which I returned with teary eyes.
"And?" -I spoke
"And looking terminally ill" -he completed, looking exceptionally content with his remark until he added "then I probably would be on my death bed now."
That got me giving him a questioning look with my right eyebrows raised.
"How is it that you are still as clueless as the day we last saw each other?" -Benjamin said while flicking my head.
"Ouch! Please that was ages ago!" -I scorned while rubbing my forehead as it burned in response to his flick.
"Do you plan on staying at the doorway the entire day?" -he spoke with a playful tone.
"Of course not. Come in I'm tired."
Guiding him in I realize that the hall has no place to sit and soon took a quick detour to the bedroom.
"Aren't you being too provocative by taking me directly to the bedroom?"
"I ain't. It so happens that the person in-charge of my furniture which by the way is YOU" -I said turning around and pointing at Benjamin before continuing "has decided to only arrange for my bedroom necessities."
"Now, now don't blame me. You were to be here by next week. Why is it that you chose to arrive earlier than planned Miss Addie?!"
"Lets not question it shall we? I feel like I committed a war crime and am now being interrogated for it."
I quickly opened the door to my room and said "Come on in quickly, I'm dead tired."
Going on into the bedroom, I could feel Benjamin right on my heels behind me. Feeling the jet lag all of a sudden I moved onto the bed and fell on it subtly, sitting on it and waiting for Benjamin to accompany me any second now.
But he didn't. He simply moved towards the now open windows and looked out at the bustling streets of Italy.
"Might as well remove the cap and mask don't you think? Especially before someone suspects you to be a criminal."
"Do I look suspicious?" -He said turning around facing me and reaching out to his face slowly to remove the mask followed by the cap.
"What do u think you look like? Wait, no, let me rephrase. What were you trying to look like?" -I was getting curious to know what his innocent mind held for him this time. He looked like he was trying to find the right words until what he said surprised me.
"I was aiming to look like a celebrity out for his me-time." -He was blushing and scratching his cheek in embarrassment.
My eyes widened before I burst out in laughter. I couldn't keep it in. Benjamin truly was really unique. I clutched my stomach laughing harder as I recalled how terrifying and suspicious his 'celebrity undercover look' looked.
"That should be enough don't you think? It ain't that funny...." -He said while pouting slightly.
I tried with all my might to contain myself. Although it took more than just a few seconds, I was glad that I finally contained my laughing self and looked up at Benjamin from the bed.
"You know you really scared me when you suddenly appeared out of nowhere."
"You looked clearly very terrified." -He laughed, evidently a fake one. In a manner in which I felt and understood his hidden apology. I finally saw his face for what it had become. His light brown orbs looked down at me with care. His face had gotten sharper over the years. His brown curly hair luckily well maintained unlike before. His ears were still red with embarrassment.
He came towards me and sat beside me on the bed and asked a question I did not want him to ask.
Not now, not ever.
"How has your dad been doing? Haven't spoken to him in a while."
My heart sank at his question. I looked away from him. First at my lap and then soon at the floor. The air in the room seemed to be getting thicker and somehow it felt like the Sun too wanted to hide away and not hear the answer as it hid behind the clouds making the room slightly darker.
He took my hands in his and continued. "What's wrong?"
His voice was soft and filled with concern. But, I couldn't bring myself to speak. Why did there always have to a be first time? Why do I have to speak about it? But I knew I couldn't avoid it. It was bound to be brought up sooner or later, and since it has come down to this, I am glad Carson is the first person to know of it.
"Carson I-" -my voice broke as the tears had already started building up in my eyes.
"Adel! Be courageous. You have to let him know!" -my inner voice spoke.
I heaved a deep sigh and looked into Carson's eyes. Eyes that were filled with so much worry that i simply wanted to run away. Run away and never let him know of it.
"You what Adelaide?"
Here goes nothing. I felt a tear go down my cheeks as I closed my eyes and blurted out the truth. The truth which is my burden to bear. The truth that has been feeding off of me for a week now and will continue to do so forever.
"I- I killed him."