It's been a month since I arrived and tomorrow the university is opening. Today, the
girls and I are having a get together. We are having a girl's day out, which we have
been budgeting for, for a very long time.
We are all dressed to kill in casual clothing. Particularly, knee high summer dresses
and large sunhats.
"Ahh guys let's find somewhere to settle down and have something to eat. I am
famished." Chiedza says
"Wait a bit, I want to get my nails done, maybe you can also get yours done. I saw
how horrifying those toe nails look." Vimbai responds
"Ahh, Vasikana (girls), the nails can wait. Let's go and have some lunch and then we
will do our businesses at one. You girls can get your hair fixed and your nails polished
after we have had something to eat." I suggest.
"Eish! You two and food. Inseparable! I wonder how the two of you still maintain the
petite figures yet you eat so much" Vimbai says.
"We just know how to get up in the morning and burn all the extra fat away." Chiedza
says.
"Okay, okay! Let's choose a restaurant. We have a lot of places to go to before the
end of the day." Vimbai says.
"I know a place that we can go to, where they sell really nice food. They have
traditional and exotic menus too. I know Red prefers the traditional meals more than
anything else, so in that restaurant, everyone is catered for. However the meals come
at a biting cost." Chiedza says, also flinching in order to deliver her point.
"We can deal with that. Now let's get going. We just don't have all day you know." I
say to the two women and Chiedza leads us to the much acclaimed destination. The
restaurant is at an upmarket place. Beautiful and swarming with people who wear
the fragrance of money as perfume.
We get a table, call the waitress and order something to eat. I prefer traditional meals.
After ordering, we get down to the business of eating whilst we chit-chat.
"So Red, tell us, where is our boo these days?" Vimbai asks, pausing briefly from the
eating to put the issue across.
"Which boo?" I ask in total confusion.
"Oh, come on, don't act dumb with us. I am talking about Takawira. Where is he?"
Vimbai questions, eyeing me mischievously.
"Oh that one! We are no longer a thing. We went our separate ways." I respond,
feeling the buried pain coming back to life to haunt me.
"What?! What happened?" Chiedza asks in total shock.
"I think its best we don't speak about it now. It's still a fresh wound but it happened
just before Christmas. Soon after we closed." I say to them as I look down at my
plate.
'So did he cheat on you?" Vimbai asks, her voice low and heavy with emotion and
sympathy for me.
"Well, cheating is only a part of the equation but I can't say he cheated as such. I
was jealous of a certain friendship he had with a colleague. The greatest push factor
is the fact that his children were against the very relationship from the word go and
I had to let it go." I respond.
"How old are these children?" Chiedza asks.
'The youngest is 20 and the oldest is 21. Apparently, they felt like I am a gold digger
and that I didn't deserve their father. I just couldn't bring myself to have a
relationship with such a man. It would definitely kill the bond between him and his
children. And that's a really bad thing regarding that he is their only remaining
parent" I say.
"Remaining parent?" Vimbai questions, her eyebrow arched upwards in confusion.
"Yah, Takawira is a widower." I respond.
"So you terminated a good relationship because of two jealous children who feel
insecure about their father's happiness?" Chiedza asks.
"He also cheated and the woman was pregnant. He gave her more attention than
what he gave to me. Literally, I was his glorified paramour. It hurt my feelings that
he felt so lowly about e. so I had to up and leave after enlightening him." I say to
them.
"So what are his children going to say about all this baby mama dilemma?" Vimbai
asks.
"I don't know. It's their baby to carry. I am out of the equation now, so why should I
bother?" I say as I heave a long sigh. A sigh only done by exhausted women who have
had their fair share of drama and pain in their lives.
"Anyway, it's always the handsome ones who have the most drama. It's as if in a
man's would, a perfect face is complemented by drama and dilemma. You can never
separate those two characteristics." Chiedza says.
We resume eating as we discuss about this and that. Recalling sweet reminisces and
being women.
"Guys, can we order desert. I crave some sugar today." I blurt out, earning silly smiles
from the women at the table.
"You? Sugar?" Chiedza questions, her smile widening dramatically.
"Things change. Now let's just order and get done with this. We need to get going." I
say as I brush the matter at hand away. We order different deserts, mine being the
sweetest and the most expensive of them all and we dig in.
"Let's hope you are not getting addicted to these sugary things because, it's going to
get you overweight in no time." Vimbai says.
"I think she would look a lot nicer when she is chubby. With 'em golden fat chicks
and that beautiful smile. Chiedza says, causing me to laugh. Just the very idea of a
fat me is pathetic.
"I don't intend on getting fat anytime soon. I'd rather be a thin frame of bone and
flesh than be a thick block of fat." I respond. Causing the girls to laugh girlishly,
throwing their heads backwards in enjoyment. A light tap on my shoulder jolts me
back to reality and I look up to see James smiling broadly down at me. Looking fresh
as ever. Tempting if you ask me. But tempting as he is I, he sure is a player. A lethal
one. One that got me drinking a full bottle of vodka in just a day, yet it takes about
three to four months to finish.
"Hello" he says to me and I roll my eyes.
"Hie, how can we help?" Chiedza says as she flashes a fake smile at Takawira.
"I just want to have a chat with Red. Can you excuse her for a few?" Takawira says.
"Takawira, I am not going anywhere with you. Just go, I don't have the time for silly
games." I shoot back, my emotions erupting but my voice low and heavy. Rather too
cool for the emotions I harbor inside.
"Red please just give me a chance to explain and enlighten you about what happened.
So as to clear the mist between the two of us." He says, his eyes and tone pleading
with me.
"I don't want to be fed a shit load of sugar coated lies! The situation spoke for itself.
Your response added to the weight and that totally tipped off the scale. There is
nothing that you can say or do that can change my mind." I respond, my voice cool
and calm.
"That I know, but I want to walk out of this as a freeman, knowing that I have done
good between you and I. it's the most that I can do. Just listen to me." He says as he
takes a chair from an empty table and settles next to me. He looks into my eyes and
lets his hand stray to my face. Particularly my mouth and he wipes off the desert
that had dripped off my mouth. I keep my gaze fixed on him as he smiles childishly
but I refuse to react to his communicative body language. He withdraws his hand
and looks at me further more. The silence at the table is unbearable. We are all on
our toes with suspense, waiting to hear the lies that will roll off his tongue and drip
down his mouth.....
He heaves a long emotion pregnant sigh and he says
"The truth always has a way of fighting its way to the top of all the drama and
dilemma. The truth of the matter is that the baby was not mine. I was cornered into
believing that it was mine but it was not. Reviewing the dates of the relationship,
which was more of a secret affair, the pregnancy is out rightly not mine. She just
messed around with my head and destroyed the good relationship that we had. A
relationship that still torments me, even after so long. If I could turn back the hands
of time, I really would just save the precious thing that we had." James says, his
voice heavy and thick with emotion. His beautiful eyes pleading with me, in the
process melting a certain part of me that still yearns for him. At the same time
fuelling the feminine pride in me. the pride that refuses to be a fall back on, a second
option rather. The part that refuses to be walked all over by men.
"Well, what's done is done. There is absolutely no turning back. I hope you have
learnt from your mistake because it will come in handy in the future." I respond as I
turn my attention back to my desert.
"So, can we fix things between the two of us?" Takawira questions, causing me to
look up at him, a million acidic insults running through my already overheating
brain. A lazy smile materializes on my lips but I quickly suck it in and in its place
comes a straight mouth.
"There is no point in wishing to fix things. This train is long gone and unfortunately,
there is no return ticket. Move on with your life since I have already done the same
with mine. It will do you great good." I say.
"Maria come on. I know you are hurting and what I did is unforgivable but I think I,
too deserve a second chance. After all, we all make mistakes. At least, I honestly
owned up to mine and I am willing to fix what we had in whatever way." James says.
"You know, when a man walks all over you once and you forgive him. It strokes his
ego, knowing that he can do whatever he wants to do and he will fall back on the
word sorry. He sure will make more and more damage on the expense of your mercy.
Look Takawira. Let bygones be bygones. I operate under the no-turning back theory."
I say to him. Calm and collected. As cool as a cucumber. My malicious smile plastered
on my face.
"I don't think you are saying this out of a sober mind. This is pain speaking through
you. I will patiently wait for the pain to wear off." He says, causing me to laugh.
"Don't bother yourself! I have moved on and now that you have put some clarity to
the matter that was at hand, I have forgiven you. But there will be no restoration
whatsoever. I am out of reach now, especially for you." I say.
"We will talk in private. I will call you so that we can talk" he says after heaving a
heavy emotion based sigh.
"That's if I am available. I can easily block your number, switch off my phone or just
ignore your calls. It's that simple in my side of the world" I say to him, my malicious
smile plastered on my lips, my eyes staring at him in absolute challenge.
James Takawira stands up from his chair, says his goodbyes to all of us and walks
away, looking more like a wet chicken. On the low!
"And there goes another man kicked straight in the testicles!" Vimbai says in absolute
disbelief.
"Love is a game and I refuse to be played, especially not on my own chess board." I
say.
"But you are only fooling yourself. Red, you love that man. It shows in your eyes,
your tone screams it out and mostly your body language sells you out. You respond
to his aura." Chiedza points out.
"I know but I just won't be a fool for love. Not this time." I say to them.
"But to tell the honest truth, Takawira is a definite catch. He is a complete man. He
could have easily complemented you and I bet you would have made the cutest
babies." Vimbai says.
"Well, not anymore. The thing is, he can't keep it in his pants. And that is a red robot
for me. A turn, I would never take, even in my wildest dreams. No matter how
tempting he seems to be." I say.
We continue talking, eventually branching to other topics too. After the heavy lunch,
we decide to accompany Vimbai to the saloon and Chiedza ends up joining. They are
both getting their hair plaited and their nails done. Like usual, I sit down and start
reading the magazines, turning done every offer of getting my hair plaited.
After spending a long time at the saloon, we then decide to do some shopping.
Chiedza suggests that we buy clothes and she takes us to a place where they sell
underwears and other under garments. The two idiots that I am with are making fun
of literally everything in the shop. Chiedza is the naughtiest I tell you. When I walked
into the shop, I didn't want to buy anything but when I walked out of the shop, I had
shopping bags full of things. No underwears, No! Not bras, no! I don't really put on
those. They are very uncomfortable. My bag is full of pulling socks. The professional
ones not those netty ones that prostitutes in the movies wear.
We further move from shop to shop, buying make up kits, hair conditioners,
perfumes, bracelets, earrings, hats, necklaces and a whole lot of other feminine
accessories that would make us look good. We also buy novels and note books. Fancy
pens and other things that entice our eyes but are of value to our lives. What I love
about this shopping spree is that, we only do it once in a year and we would have
done a thorough budget that allows us to spend and enjoy.
After the pleasant day is over, I retire to bed after having a long hot shower. Tomorrow
is a crazy day at the University, as the University comes to life.
It's been a full week since we opened at the university and the pressure is mounting.
I am working tirelessly to make the students get in tune, so that we can work. I have
started giving assignments, teaching the new students the answering techniques that
I favor, the language they are to use when writing and the rules that I operate with.
To the old students who are advancing to the next semesters, I am pushing the
syllabus further. My sole intention is to teach and make everyone understand. Single
out the weak ones and help them out the best I can. I still rally with my open door
policy.
I walk out of my office after a very long day. My feet burning and my head spinning
from all the running around that I have been doing. I put on a sunhat and shades
as I step out of the large building, heading straight to the car park. I put my things
in my car, change into flat shoes and I ignite the engine. Someone taps my window
and I roll it down to speak to the individual.
"Good afternoon." He says in a deep masculine bass with an accent, which
corresponds with his light complexion. He is colored.
"Afternoon, how can I assist?" I question.
"I am looking for the engineering department. How can I get there?" he questions.
"The Engineering department is very far from here. This one is the Commercial side
of the university and if I give you the directions, you will get lost. So let me take you
there." I say to him as I get out of the car after switching off the engine of my car.
The man is quite a tall man and handsome too. He seems to be in his early forties or
late thirties but he still is a catch I tell you….
"So what are you going to do at the Engineering department?'" I ask the rather too
quiet anonymous man, as a way to try and make conversation.
"There is some issue that I am going to solve pertaining my son's details." He says.
"Is he a new student in the University?" I question.
"No, he happens to be doing his second year." He responds.
"You must be a proud father to have a son who does Engineering. What type of
Engineering is he studying in particular?" I ask in curiosity.
"He does electrical Engineering." He responds. The way this man's answers are short
and abrupt, it's as if I have the intentions to seduce him and suck his money. So I
then shut my mouth and fantasize about the things I want to do when I get home.
"And we are here. That's their reception right there. The receptionist will assist you."
I say to him.
"Thank you for the assistance." He says and strides into the building and I hurry off
to my vehicle and I drive straight home, where I get down to the business of cooking
and marking.
Today is the last week of the month and I am sitting in my office, barefooted, whilst
looking at the assignments that the Masters Degree students have sent to me. I jot
down their problems, type them and send to the students through their emails. As I
am still marking, a knock disturbs my concentration, causing me to turn from the
computer to the door.
"Come in" I say and two men enter. Two light colored men.
"Good afternoon. Is this professor Red's office?" the older man asks. His voice deep
and bald. I immediately identify him. He is the guy I helped to get to the Engineering
department. So the other man might be his son or a relative. Whatever, but what
bothers me the most is that I did not tell him my name or that I am a professor. So
how the hell did he find out? I mean, he even located my office. You don't get to my
office without being directed to it. Especially for people who don't spend time in the
University.
"Yes, this is Professor Red's office. How can I help you?" I question as I stand up from
my chair to receive the visitors who have come to see me strangely.
"So, I guess you are Professor Red." The older man says.
"Yes. Yes I am professor Red. Is there a problem?" I ask in total confusion.
"Not at all. My name is Chris Evans. You seem to have forgotten me." He says as he
smiles rather dramatically. When he introduces himself, I immediately feel dizzy. The
fuckin' idiot!! And how the hell did he find me? Worse off in this large University…..as
the thousands of questions collide in my brain, I sit down as my feet can't seem to
support me anymore.
"Maria Maruva. You have changed I don't want to lie. More beautiful than you were
at school. I guess life is treating you well." He says but I fail to even respond. Even
in my shock, I manage to summon some strength to compose myself.
"Chris it's an absolute pleasure to meet you. It's been long." I say as I offer him my
hand in greeting.
"Twenty good years to be precise." He says as he smiles maliciously at me.
"Well, what brings you here? Aren't you supposed to be in Bulawayo or you have
expanded to Harare?" I question. Trying by all means to conceal my shock.
"Not really but now that you have raised the point, I think it would be a good idea to
do so. How is life? Any spouse? Children?" he asks.
"I am sure you did not come here to dig personal information about me. Which I
guarantee you, is nothing out of the ordinary." I say.
"You have really grown some nails and canines. No longer the sweet girl I used to
know." He says, smiling maliciously. Something seems very fishy about the way he
pokes and probes me. It's as if, he is looking for a reaction.
"Circumstances pushed me to change and to tell the truth, I love this new me. I am
no longer a useless door mat." I say to him. My face stern and challenging.
"Let's not create drama in front of our dear visitor here. First impressions always
last." Chris Evans warns.
"Look Chris, I am a Professor in this University and so I barely get the time to laze
around talk about petty childhood reminisces. If you have nothing to say that
pertains y work, then it's best you excuse yourself or rather schedule for a weekend.
That is if I am not occupied." I say to him.
"Well, today, I really don't have much to say but I brought along someone." He says
as he gestures to the boy who is sitting next to him. A rather beautiful boy who is
branching into manhood, with dreadlocks. He is dressed in overalls. He is a pretty
boy and when I say pretty, I mean the womanly prettiness. His features are nor
foreign to me though, I have seen them before but I wonder where.
"And how can I help the two of you?" I question in absolute confusion.
"Maria, this is Cameroon Evans. He is our son. He really wanted to meet you in
person and since you were just too busy, I decide to bring him to see you here.
Coincidentally, he is a student in this University." Chris says, maintaining his gaze
at me.
My heart literally drills through my ribs in shock and I sweat. My mouth goes dry in
absolute shock. There is a deep silence in the room as I stare at the boy and he stares
back at me, his face calm but his eyes anticipant. Waiting to see my reactions and
hear what I have to say. But what do I have to say? How am I expected to react?.. I
turn to Chris and I feel my blood boiling as I look at him. I exhale loudly in attempt
to calm down.
'Chris, can we talk outside please." I say to him as I stand up from my chair, put on
my shoes and I walk out of the door, Chris tailing behind me. When we are outside,
I close the door and pull him a few meters from the office door.
"What the fuck is this?" I ask in total frustration.
"A re-union of a negligent, heartless mother and her eager son who was abandoned
at a day old." Chris says, disgust flashing through his eyes.
'Oh, don't you dare try to turn this against me. I was the damn victim in all this.
Impregnated and left to raise a child after you had denied the pregnancy. I brought
him to your house so that you could take care of your mistake and I told you that I
don't want to see him but here you are, playing the hero." I glare back.
"Well, luckily I had the heart to raise him and provide for him and be a good parent
to him. Now it's your time to take the other end of the bargain." He says.
"I fuckin' told you that I don't want to see him! I told you that he is chapter in my life
that I am willing to forget but then you shitty nut head, decide to bring him here!" I
say to him in absolute anger.
"Maria, you can't run forever. He is your son as much as he is mine and luckily, he
holds no grudge. I covered your back and told him this and that but now, he is a
man. I can't feed him anymore lies. Its time he gets to know you." Chris says.
"Well, unfortunately, I have no intentions of having him as part of my life. He has
seen me. No go back. Thank you for the unexpected visit that almost got me killed
by a heart attack." I say to him.
"Unfortunately he is going nowhere. He happens to be having problems with
accommodation and I was hoping that he could crush with you. in the process, you
will get to know each other better." I say.
"What!? Are you listening to the nonsense that you are blurting out right now?"
"Maria, I am being serious. I am leaving him with you." Chris says as he walks into
my office.
"Look Cameroon, I will leave you with your mother for a few weeks as I sort this
accommodation issue out. Don't trouble her buddy. She is a very busy woman." He
says and turns to me.
"Look, I have to go. I will miss my flight if I delay. Have yourself a good day." He says
and after that he walks away, leaving me staring at him, my blood boiling in absolute
anger. I exhale and enter my office. Walking slowly as if not to disturb the peace in
the room. It's not peace as such, but its stillness. Suspended stillness. Both of us
are confused as to how we are going to ignite conversation. I guarantee you, this has
been the most difficult situation that I have been ever cornered to face.
"Hie" I say to him, breaking the awkward silence in the room but I am full of
uncertainty. Uncertainty about what to say after the greetings.
"Hie" he responds too. Sounding uncertain, at the same time anticipant.
"Look, my dismissal time has elapsed, so let's go home. Take your bags so that we
can go home." I say to him as I start packing my books and my laptop, water my pot
plants, close the windows and we both exit the room in absolute silence. I can't even
fabricate a simple conversation to kill the awkwardness between the two of us. We
get into the car and drive straight home.
"And this is me!" I say as I kick off my heels, stepping onto the fuzzy carpet.
"Let me show you around and then I can get down to cooking." I say to him as I lead
him upstairs. We tour the whole house until at last we get to a certain spare bedroom
and I accord it to him as his bedroom. It's one of the five en suite spare bedrooms
that I have.
"You will use this room. I will change the linen later. So which color of bedding
would you prefer?"
"Any color is okay." Cameroon says.
"Come on, I am a woman, I might put pink linen for you. Can I get a more specific
color please?" I say.
"Blue would be fine or white." He responds.
"I think I can entrust you with the white linen. The blue sheets and blankets have
children's print on them. Make yourself comfortable." I say to him as I walk out of
the room and close the door behind me. Exhaling loudly to relieve the tension. I walk
to my room and change into comfortable clothing and after that, I get down to
cooking.
I then face the dilemma of decision-making as to what I should cook regarding the
fact that I don't know his likes and dislikes or maybe he has some kind of allergy. I
walk to his room and knock lightly.
"Cameroon, do you have any allergies pertaining food?" I ask.
"No!" he shouts back from the interior of the room. Not even bothering to open the
door and talk to me. After that I walk back to the kitchen and I cook a traditional
meal. Sadza and chicken. I cook in the company of a novel. After cooking, I serve the
meal, call Cameroon and I settle down. He joins me at the table and I ask him to
bless the meal for us. Luckily he sure knows his way around prayer. We dig in and
after the meal, he offers to do the dishes.
We have been staying together for two good weeks in absolute quietness. Not really
muted silence, no. but the type of speaking that you use when there is tension
between two people. We both can't seem to reach out to each other in a proper way
because one thing for sure, we are strangers to each other and we are being brought
together by a circumstance, our distance is caused by a certain happening and the
mist about that happening has not been cleared.
The only thing that I do is to drive him to the university in the morning and back
home in the evening... it so happens that two weeks into our staying together, I
forget my spectacles at home and I have to return back to my house to get them. I
get home at around eleven thirty in the morning, park my car at the gate, unlock the
smaller gate and I walk into the yard. I quickly race to the door, take out my key but
instead of unlocking, I find it open! Strange enough. Luckily the gate was locked and
so I comfort myself with that and I walk straight into the house, up the staircase and
straight to my study.
As I make my way to the study, I pass by Cameroon's room. The door is slightly ajar
and from the interior are funny noises. Noises that sound like people gasping for
some air. More like people having sex. I make my way towards the source of the
sound and I find the shock of my life….Cameroon is mercilessly humping this girl
who is on her hands and knees! I quickly and quietly make my way to the study, my
heart drilling through my chest in absolute shock. I get into the study, collect my
spectacles and I rush out of the house and eventually out of the yard and into my
car.
When I get back home in the evening, I don't ask him about the issue and I try by all
means to act normal. Judging from his reactions, he doesn't seem to suspect
anything.
I go to sleep rather early, since I am feeling rather exhausted. I get into the shower
and let the hot water massage my body. After that I change into a comfortable
nightdress and call it a night. When I get into my covers, I immediately fall asleep,
consumed by fatigue and taken by my imagination to a land of dreams and nocturnal
mental fantasies. I know that I would have forgotten eighty percent of them by the
time I wake up in the morning.
I wake up in the middle of the night to noise in the house. Since there is someone
else in the house, I dismiss the noise and I close my eyes again to resume my sleep
but the noise continues, causing me to get out of my covers and make my way
downstairs to see what is going on.
I descend slowly down the staircase, making sure as not to make any noise, my
weapon at hand. My eyes scan the darkness of the living room and there is no
suspicious movement but the noise is still going on. I walk slowly into the kitchen,
my heart pounding against my chest dramatically, my weapon positioned to strike
anything that comes my way….. but as I enter into the large kitchen, I get shocked
to see Cameroon sitting at the kitchen counter, dawning my vodka using a bottle!
The idiot has gone through a full bottle, now he has opened yet another. And this
vodka is fuckin' expensive.
I get out of the kitchen, anger boiling in my blood. If I attend to him when he is like
this, things are going to get bad, worse off the fuckin' idiot is drunk. I get into bed,
my head running wild almost bursting with the bombastic words that my mind is
conjuring.
I wake up early in the morning, take a long bath and I dress up in a suit, pulling
socks and I put pins on my hair, put some mascara on my eyes and after that I put
red high heels and I walk out of my room to my study to get my books and bags.
I walk into the large spacious room, filled with books and I start packing the books
in my box file, the laptop in my laptop bag and then I check things in my purse and
after that, I walk to one of the walls that has car keys hung on it. One of the keys is
missing from its hook. It's the keys of my Datsun 300. My eager eyes quickly scan
the floor but still there is nothing and that can only mean one logical explanation.
I take the keys of the car that I am going to use today and I walk out of the study to
the kitchen where I find two empty bottles of vodka on the kitchen counter. I leave
the Vodka on the counter and the glass too and I get down to cooking a greasy
breakfast.
After cooking, I settle down to eat and still there is absolutely no sign of Cameroon.
A quick glance at my clock tells me that I am running late, so I wash the dishes and
after that, I walk out.
I get into my office and open my windows, drop my bag on my desk and I dash to the
first lecture of the day. The last lecture today is just before lunch time. I walk into
my office late in the afternoon, my feet strangely swollen and painful. I tiredly throw
myself on the three sitter sofa, kick off my shoes and I massage my painful feet as I
am still thinking about the drama that Cameroon has brought into my life and how
I am going to deal with it, regarding that we still are in a weird space and any form
of correction from my side will look like ill-treatment but on the other hand, where I
come from, our parents and relatives used to point out mistakes and make sure that
they are corrected despite the type of relationship you had with them. I still
remember, the neighbors we had in Mzilikazi, they used to treat us like their
children and we used to treat them like our very own parents. As such, you always
conducted yourself in a decent manner despite being away from the watch of your
biological parents and relatives. Just that conduct did shape some of the women and
men that this country's institutions stands proud of.
A loud knock disturbs my thoughts and brings me back to the reality but just before,
I get the chance to answer, Chiedza and Vimbai enter with some lunch. We
immediately dig in as we talk about a number of issues and after that, the ladies go
back to their work stations. I also resume my lectures.
I drive home at round four in the afternoon. Alone. It seems like Cameroon decide
not to come to school today. When I get home, I get off my high heels and walk into
the living room bare footed. Cameroon is in the living room watching television, his
feet on the sofa. I throw my bags on one of the sofas and I sit on my favorite sofa.
"Good afternoon." Cameroon says in a low tone.
"Good afternoon." I respond and there is a suspended silence in the room except for
the television that we are watching.
"I cooked." Cameroon says, a weak smile creeps up his face. He really thinks that
silly smile and cooking can atone for his sins, then he must think twice. Life on my
side of the world is a little different.
"Cameroon, I want us to talk about this like adults, since you already are one." I say
and his smile wilts.
"Your father had said he will resolve your accommodation issue but it seems like he
is facing some challenges, so I will make sure I press a few buttons so that you can
get space at the res. This I am doing because I simply can't stomach your behavior.
As much as you are my son, I am willing to let you go if you are acting the way you
do." I say to him.
"Acting the way I do? How?" he questions.
"You stole my car, drank my expensive Vodka without my permission and you skip
school to come and have sex with your girlfriends, that's ridiculous! And I can't
stomach such. You don't have those privileges here. Not in my house. Not under my
watch!" I sternly state to him.
"So in other words, you are sending me away?" Cameroon questions.
"It's not because I want to and believe me, it's not an easy step to take but it's because
you pushed me to do so. You cornered me to take such drastic measures. Believe me
when I say, they are all in the name of peace. I dislike irresponsible people who would
want me to tail behind them and shepherd them in each and every step of the way.
It's unfair and stressful, especially to me." I say to him.
"Oh come on, save the bull shit for someone who cares! You never loved me. You
never cared and today, you have found reason to send me out of your life. To tell the
honest truth, I found more comfort in that vodka than in anything else in this house.
I felt comfortable, free and above all, loved! Things that I never got from you. You
loathed me, the very moment I walked into your life. You avoided me, you barely
spoke to me and that was a clear sign of rejection. I wonder what the fuck I thought
I would get from a woman who had the audacity to abandon her own child!"
Cameroon says and after that he walks out of the living room to his bedroom
upstairs. I am left sitting on my sofa, my throat lumpy, my stomach knotted and
goose bumps on my skin. I don't really know how long I have been sitting on the sofa,
but its long enough for Cameroon to pack his bags and leave my house, banging the
door behind him.