Today is a Monday and I am running about the university, getting my paper work
fixed. My leave has been processed and it starts today. Today the main goal is to
clear my staff from the office and take the important staff back home so that I could
easily access them. I don't want to keep on shuttling between home and the
university, especially not at such a state. As I am still packing my books into the
boxes, someone knocks on my door.
"Come in" I say, my back still turned to the door.
"Good afternoon." A masculine voice says and I turn my face to find Mr Shoko
standing in my office, his eyes curiously inspecting my office and his hands buried
in his pockets like always.
"Mr Shoko, how can I assist you?" I question.
"I just came to help out with the packing. That's if you don't mind." He says and I
roll my eyes. I mean, doesn't he have any work to do besides coming here and offering
to land me a hand. Some people are stupid to some extent. Does he really think that
if I however needed assistance, I would ask it from him? No! I would have asked the
ladies to come and assist. But then, what choice do I have? I now have to play along
and let him assist.
"My condition leaves absolutely no room for pride. Come on, help me with the
packing. I will tape the boxes." I say.
"Why are you moving everything as if you are going away for good yet you will be
gone for a few months?" he says as his eyes scan the boxes that I have already packed
and also the half empty book shelves.
"I really need my things, especially the books. One thing for sure, the books on these
shelves are not for decoration, I constantly go over them so that my brain doesn't get
rusty." I respond.
"And that's something that some of us barely do unless a need arises." He says. It's
a really pathetic move for a lecturer if you ask me. What he is doing, is like using old
information to teach students just because you learnt the very same information,
forgetting the very fact that over the years, systems have changed totally or have
been upgraded and so you also have to accommodate the change. And that means
as a lecturer, you have to be abreast with change. Especially us professors.
For a few hours, we are in the office, packing away my staff and having silly
conversations, which are rather useless if you ask me. The tension between us hasn't
been erased and I can feel it or is it the fact that I am still holding on to the pain, but
as far as I am concerned, I forgave this two headed idiot... after everything has
been packed into the boxes, we carry each and every box to the car. Walking up and
down the staircase is now making my back very painful. Finally we get everything
into the car.
"And this is it, the genesis of everything" I say.
"You can handle it. I know you will be a good mother. I hope the father knew how
lucky he is to have you as his woman." Mr Shoko says. So he is still holding on to
those feelings. Well, it could have been him but then he kicked the opportunity in
the teeth by being a two faced idiot!
"Well, what has changed about men? Any way thank you for the help. It was greatly
appreciated." I say.
"Don't stress. Well, travel safely."
"I sure will." I say to Mr Shoko as I get into my car and drive home. As I drive home
with a heavy heart and a hollow stomach feeling. Leaving the university is something
really hard for me. I really hate to sit at home, doing nothing in particular. The
routine of working at the university was a very good distraction but now it's
gone...…
When I get home, I unpack my things, put them in my study. I put the pot plants in
the house and I start cooking a light lunch and also some supper. These days, I am
a little slow with the cooking, due to movement problems, so I work on it earlier. I
use the short breaks in between for reading.
As I am still reading, engulfed in a world of crime, in some European country where
detectives are hunting for a killer who murders by suffocation but leaves absolutely
no marks on his victims, my cell phone…its Cameroon.
"Cameroon, hie" I answer.
"Mom, did you collect Simangaliso from school or did you happen to send someone
to collect him?"
"No. why?"
"His teachers say that he has been collected from school already by his father."
"I don't know anything about that but let me confirm. You can come home." I say t
Cameroon and after that I disconnect the call and I dial Antony's number. The first
ring goes unanswered but he answers the second call.
"Can you call me after about ten minutes? Currently I am still driving." Antony says.
"Antony, can you please bring Simangaliso to my place now or you are going to see
the other side of a Shona woman. A not so pretty side!" I say to him in absolute anger.
I mean, why the hell would he collect Simangaliso from school and not bother to tell
me. That's absurd!
"Look, Red, let's not do this right now. I am still driving."
"To hell with the driving! Bring Simangaliso to my place in five minutes. Failure to
that, this will not end well!"
"He is my son too. So after all, I deserve to spend some quality time with him." Antony
says.
"After consulting with me! You just don't wake up in the morning and plan on
spending quality time with him, especially after what I saw you and his school
teacher doing in the garage."
"So this explains why you took off with my son without my consent?"
"I am not going to explain my reasons but so you know, I saw the two of you screwing
each other. Now bring back my son. You wouldn't want to play games with me." I say
to him and after that I hang up. Antony Clarke wants to drive me nuts I tell you and
he is putting me under stress yet I am pregnant. It's very unfair and unhealthy to
me and the baby.
I try to relax. These are the times where vodka tea would have come in handy.
Unfortunately, this pregnancy doesn't allow me to do so. I wait patiently for Antony
to bring back Simangaliso, until I feel my eyelids getting heavy. I turn off the stoves
and I head to my bedroom to lay down a bit, until I hear the hooting of the car or a
call that announces the arrival of Antony and Simangaliso....
I wake up late in the afternoon, at around five in the evening, when the summer sun
is about to set and the cool evening winds are blowing gently through my window. I
am woken up by a sharp contraction. At first I am alarmed that it's the labour pains
but it's not. Maybe it's the Braxton contractions.
After the long contraction dies down, I get off my bed slowly and I head to the
bathroom to relieve my bladder which has now become very painful from the pressure
of urine. After using the bathroom, I then head to the living room, where there is
hearty laughter. Its only Cameroon and Simangaliso. At least Simangaliso is now
home. I greet the two boys who are watching television and I make my way to the
kitchen to get a glass of water.
I fill the glass with tap water and I gulp all the water in the glass, upon finishing, I
return back upstairs for a change of clothes and after that I decide to take a walk,
just so as to stretch my legs and enjoy the cool summer winds and to watch the
setting sun. I used to take a lot of these walks before I became a busy woman and
my schedules were bursting, leaving absolutely no time for other yearnings in life.
"Boys, I want to take a walk I will be back in a few." I say to them as I put on my
woollen hat, just in case, I come back a little late.
"Okay!" they both answer in unison and after that, they return their attention back
to the television, where they are watching some superhero movie. A bunch of lies to
entertain lazy minds if you ask me.
I walk slowly down the empty and quiet street, head phones plugged on. My head
buried in my thoughts. I am thinking about the things I wish to accomplish during
this three month leave from work and how I will juggle between taking care of the
baby and the whatever occupation that I wish to keep my mind busy. Funny how I
think of money-making projects and never the things that other women think about.
I really love money but my comfort about my love for money comes in the very fact
that I work for the money that I so much love. I tire for it, unlike other women, who
love money but depend on other people for the commodity. It's unfair and dangerous.
Along the way, a few white people who are taking their evening walks and jogs pass
me. It's strange, I have never seen my neighbours on either sides of the house. Speak
about, across the street. I have had this house for two and a half years and still, I
know nothing about the neighbours. All I know is that the place has a of white people
and nothing else. My parents always emphasise good relationships with neighbours
but I really don't think that rule applies in this part of residential area, maybe in the
low density..... I hear the distant sound of a hooting vehicle and I remove my
headphones to hear whether or not its real, at the same time I turn my head to see
if the car is behind me since in front of me, there is not vehicle and that's when I get
the shock of my life.
A large car, is just a few metres away from me. I jump out of the way. I mean, what
the fuck! I am walking at the side of the room and not on the road. So why the fuck
should this lunatic drive at the side of the road and not on the fuckin' road. My heart
is beating wildly in my chest, my arm pits are itchy and I am a thin sheath of
perspiration covers my skin, most probably making it gleam. My breathing has
increased tremendously, it's as if I was running! Even my knees are weak, I can
barely stand on them. Fuck this! Fuck this lunatic! All this is happening from all the
shock of almost getting hit by a car. The car comes to a sudden halt at a certain
distance away from me and the lunatic walks out of the car. It's a man, just as I
suspected.
As he approaches, I feel sharp long contractions on my abdomen and I wince in pain.
As the man approaches nearer to me, I clench my teeth and fists as a way to try and
hold on before the pain subsides. Yeah, these days, the struggle is real, the
contractions have become longer and stronger. It's clear that my delivery days are
near.
"I am really sorry for almost running over you. It's quite a messy day today." The
man says as he comes nearer to me, dressed in an expensive suit and expensive
shoes.
"Fuck your messy day! Fuck you for almost running into me. You misbegotten son of a
leprous donkey!" my mind curses at him, saying a thousand insults. My teeth are
still clenched and so are my fists. The contraction this time is a bit longer and more
painful.
"Are you okay ma'am?" the man asks in absolute concern.
"Screw you!" my brain responds. As I think of that, the pain intensifies and I
involuntarily let out a scream and this urine-like, warm substance runs down my
legs, some of it just pours out of me like urine and I lose my strength. Fuck! It's the
baby!
"Good Lord! Don't tell me this is what I think it is!" the man says, as he looks at me
with wide eyes. Totally shocked.
I let out another groan, as the pain intensifies. Excruciating pain. Indescribable pain,
which generates heat. So much heat, I even sweat. Beads of sweat start forming on
my upper lip, on my brow, under my arm pits, on my neck... just fuckin'
everywhere. The lunatic runs back to his car, most probably running away from the
mess he created! The fuckin' coward!
I clench my teeth harder and I try to get my cell phone from my pocket. As I am still
doing that, a couple who are running down the street, notice me and they come my
way.
"Excuse me miss, is everything okay?" the male one asks. I shake my head in
vigorously and a scream escapes my mouth, most probably disturbing the peace in
the neighborhood.
"She is in labor." The female one says.
"We need to call an ambulance." The male one says and as soon as he says that, I
hear the voice of the lunatic, talking on the phone. At least he is a responsible man.
As he is still calling, another couple comes and asks what's going on. In no time, a
little crowd of people is already surrounding me. One white lady comes and helps me
into a proper seating position, but it's not helping! The pain is just too much! My
dress is now plastered on my skin.
Another car comes and it hoots frantically, the individual trying to get through but
the people are surrounding me are not barging, until at last the individual walks out
of the car and heads to our direction. All I can see about this individual are the
expensive shoes and trousers. The rest of him is covered by the people towering over
me. What is it with men in this street?!
"What's going on here?" the man asks. I know the voice from somewhere but I don't
know where. My brain is even refusing to work. Finally the individual pushes through
the crowd to see the woman sitting on the tar, her first stage of birth starting... the
man is Arnold. Oh thank God! Where is he coming from? But thank God he is here.
I really need someone close to hold my hand through this painful process.
"Has the ambulance been called?" Arnold questions the crowd of people.
"Yes, it should arrive at any minute now." One of the people answers.
"I think its delaying. She is in too much pain to be waiting for an ambulance. Let me
take here to the hospital. Maria, I want you to hold on. This is going to hurt a bit but
it's for the best." Arnold says as he takes me into his arms and I groan in pain. Just
as soon as he takes me it his arms, my hands on his neck and my head on his chest,
the sirens of the ambulance are heard. As soon as it gets near, it stops and the
paramedics come out with a stricture bed. Arnold gently puts me on the stricture
bed and I am taken into the ambulance by the medics and straight to the hospital, I
am taken.
This labor thing, reminds me of the day Simangaliso was born. It was a rainy day
and I was busy with the exams. My best friend and I were heading to the res, from
the library after hours of reading. We were both dressed in jeans and baggy tops.
Throughout the week, I had ignored the Braxton hicks that I had. I had ignored the
one that I had had during the examination but the one I felt when I was going up the
flight of stairs to our room, got me screaming, at the same time startling my friend
who quickly turned to face me. And the warm amniotic feeling ran down my feet. Its
wetness could be seen through the jeans, as they suddenly changed color to a
darker shade.
The girls at our hostel came out in their numbers to see what was happening. The
others helped me remove the jean. The other girls ran to the medics at the mini-clinic
at the res. In no time the ambulance had arrived.
....after hours of pushing, screaming, crying, giving up, being encouraged, I finally
gave birth to a baby girl. A girl who weighs 2.8 kg. No wonder the whole process
almost killed me. Right now, I can't even close my legs, later alone sit or sleep
properly. The lower body has gone totally numb from all the pain. After this baby, I
am going to get a long term contraception because one thing for sure, I am not having
another baby! Not this time!
Finally my little girl is handed to me for breast feeding. She looks so pale, just the
way Simangaliso looked when he was born. I hold her to my chest as I breastfeed.
Another life brought to earth. Another life to love, take care of, cherish, protect and
guide.