Have you ever found yourself in the dilemma of wether to like or hate the same old nostalgic feeling stirred just by hearing someone's voice after months of seperation. Because it is a good feeling from a bad person.
No, it wasn't my friend Ananya, she gives me brain-freeze.
And I am sick of myself, seriously.
I wish I could just drag my sub-conscious self by hair and corner it, for playing with my dusty-old feelings.
While All my thoughts came to zero, as I realised, as you have already guessed, that he was my X-Y-Z.
Ohh, and I was mute while he hello-ed from the other side. (Adele, stop singing in my head)
I cleared my throat.
I wanted answer this time, of all my questions. The betrayal and the reason behind it. An urge, to make him regret his actions, that made us alien to each other.
Naah"
"Haello!?"
There I go
"Kaun sasur ka naati itna raat me phone kar raha hai?" I said in a nasal-hard voice chewing my imaginary paan.
"Hello, kahan phone laga hai?"
"Tum phone kiya hai, tum na batayega" I said "Gazab burbak ho bhai, kahan phone lagaya hai?"
"sultanpur"
"ayye? E to satanpur hai" i said"kahan se bol raha hai?"
"Ranchi se"
"jahan pe pagal ko le jate hai"
"samjh gaye hum, kisi gawar ke yaha lag gaya hai"
"arre arre ruko ruko"
"kya?"
"Kaam kya karte ho?"
"kyu bataye apko?"
"bolo na piliz"
He sighed "Software engineer"
I rolled my eyes.
"Nihayati Baklol lagte ho beta, ese hi apna OTP wagairah bhi bata dena kisi din" I said dissapointed
"hum rakh rahe hai"
"arre ruko ruko tum to bura maan gaya"i said "e to batao baat kisse karni hai?"
There was a pause, the hesitation before he said.
"Titu se"
"Humre ghar me to bas ego Natu hai, chalega?"
Beep. Beep.
Phone disconnected.
Ohh, he is such a disappointment to me.
Yes, he stirs feelings in me.
Yes, his voice calms me.
Yes, I am still hoping from the ash.
Yes,I know its stupid.
But no, I have lost my intrest in going back that ally leading nowhere.
Like they say, it's complicated and like I say "it always ends the same. Point to be noted : it ENDS"
Therefore.
"I am never going back, the past is in the paaaaaaaast" I sang before dialling back Aniya-dhaniya aka Ananya.
"Kahan marr gayi thi!?" she barked in my ear.
I pursed my lips "chonch lada rahe the, bako jaldi"
"kal birthday tha mera, bhul gayi!"
"Toh kal yaad dilana tha na, burbak, ab agle saal call kr dena, ajayenge cake khane"
"Kal aao"
"Itna fursat nahi hai re humko"
"bahin nahi hai?"
"nahi"
"heey maa mata ji!"
*ese hi log ke karan kud jaye yamuna me lagta hai*
"bhakk, hum rakh rahe hai"
"Motki kal aao, Mummey matha pe chad rahi hai"
"tumhari mummey ko koi aur nahi milta kya?"
" tumhi to hai ek"
"kya khilayegi?"
"Arre bhoj ki taiyyari samajh lo"
I sighed "Thik hai, aajayenge"
"boriya bistar samet ke"
"ghar basane nahi aarhe gadhi!"
"tum kutti"
"kamini"
"churael"
"raxas!"
"bhootni"
"bye"
I hanged up. She is one capable star kid that want me to jump out of my own skin.
Our parents were friends so that made us friends, *forcefully*. Like you are literally shoved upon each other's face , wether you like em or not , you are already destined to be a race horse, and meeting your rival is first thing to do.
Ohh, once you start speaking, the competition is on.
Who can remember all the alphabets at the age of 3/4.
Who can count more numbers than who.
Who can sing a poem better.
Who can dress better.
Who is more obedient.
When you really start enjoying each others company, you realise your friend is also very obsessively competitive.
The kind of friend that points out your pimples, blackheads, hairloss, asymmetric features giving you lifetime insecurities.
You are compared with your head to toe, forced to be something that is impossible to you because your inside is rejecting it.
And then, they never miss a chance to highlight your disabilities and making you believe, this is you. A pile of failure.
And you rub out your precious life to prove them wrong.
They never realise, you are not supposed to be perfect child to impress your neighbours and friends, but a happy and very much alive child that won't kick them out in their old-days.
A whole lot of parents will agree with me. Sed life.