"Kamini!"
See this is the reason I don't usually pick up the phones. Even when someone dying at the other side of the line, I would be like.
Phone-push-away
Because when I pick up, I get scolded. Or it's like I don't pick up calls so I get scolded.
I know it's my fault that I completely forgot abouy Vaishali's re-wedding, but I can't help my conceitment. That's something I call the subject to get used to.
I made a face "Sorry". The ultimate password to unlock normal conversation.
"You don't even sound sorry!" She complained " Aayi kyu nahi?"
I shrugged before realising she can't see " tum shadi ka video bhej dena, hum yahi par dekh lenge"
"Haan, tum nani hai na meri" She said in desi sarcastic tone.
I chuckled "Nana Channing Tatum hai ?"
"Nana to guzre mausam hai " She said jokingly
I chuckled,
"Nahi, yar, sach me" She said "Kyu nahi aayi, pata hai papa bhi puchh rahe the ki 'tumhari barboli dost nahi aayi'?"
"Lagta hai tumhare papa ko mere bagair samahroh me maja nahi aata, bolna tumhari dadi ke bhoj me pahuch jayenge"
"meri dadi to avi 10 saal aur chalegi, Ab jaldi batao, aayi kyu nahi?"
I was thinking of a perfect lie. Like, I am ill. Which I was.
"sach sach!" She said sternly, the hint of warning.
Now, I am struggling to say anything. I opened my mouth but I was deprived of words.
Only thing I had to offer her was silenece.
I am not the kind of person that spill personal information wherever they sit.
I stared at the ceiling, biting my lips inwardly, hoping this ends conversation.
"Titu" She said calmly " hum aaye kya ghar pe?"
"nahi" I responded quickly
"hum aarhe hai"
"Avi mat aao"
"kya hua hai,?"
I still didn't answered.
There was a sigh " suno, Tum baat karna sikho. Hum jante hai humdono bohut close nahi hai, par jese tum mera help ki wese humko v karne do" She said "Agar thoda sa v, thoda sa v mere pe bharosa hai to call karna, hum wait karenge"
She disconnected.
I rolled to lay on my stomach, Letting out a frustrated groan.
I know what she just did, the check-mate situation, so, I cannot NOT call her. Not knowing that I am not playing.
I nag alot about not having anyone to talk to, but, when people really show up at my door to listen to my sob-story, I just bang the door shut.
No thankyou, ba-bye.
What can I say?
Mood..
I already know what she is going to tell me on my problems, do something, get up, bleh bleh bleh. I bet she can became a motivational speaker.
But not with me, because
I don't want to.
I simply don't want to.
You see, there is no point in doing anything. Things happen in their own way, it is bond to occur. The way situations turn, the ways days goes worst, the way everything gets thorny, grey and crumbling into lifeless matter and lastly start shedding down slowly in dust, and we stand there idiots putting efforts into it, loving it, just to get it snatched from us.
Realising that, I don't mind not having a purpose. Chasing to the clouds, gathering nuts. And loosing people.
When everything is pre-planned, there is no point in putting effort in it. Let that happen and die peacefully not bothering about people and situations.
My phone blinked.
Getting a text. From Vaishali.
'Tum karegi ki nahi re pagaliya?'
I let out a sigh, been doing it much lately.
My phone started ringing again, and I just recieved it, irritated.
I opened my mouth to nag, but-
"Neha."
A guy spoke softly, barely audible, as the noise of breeze getting in the way.
I opened my mouth to correct him, but he cut me short saying " I cant take it anymore" desperation creeped in his voice " I really loved you, like a crazy man"
I was about to tell him that he is confessing to a 'wrong number"
"I am sorry that I became pain for you for last 3 months, I was desperate. I wanted to know where did I go wrong with us. I was willing to do anything," He said painfully " After you left me, everyday, Every single day I doubted myself for not being good enough"
He let out a sigh " Don't worry I won't take too much of your time" he said sadly " I just wanted to say goodbye to you"
My heart clenched at the possiblity of what that exactly meant.
"Goodbye"
"Ruko, ruko!" I said quickly.
There was silenec, I started to doubt he hung up so I checked. He was on line
"You are not Neha?"
"No, I am not" I confirmed
"I am sorry, I -I think I dialled up wrong numbers"
"That's fine, stranger guy" I said. I don't know what I am talking about "I was really feeling down since few days, but now, I feel it's okay not being okay"
"don't pity me!" he said harshly. I panicked.
I shook my head "I am not. I just felt like, you were talking my mind"
...
"what do u mean?" he said quietly, sounding much younger than I could have guessed
"I don't know" I said honestly "I felt like I can relate myself to you, loosing someone you love. I have been trying to get my head straight, think positive but was failing, I cannot connect with anything around me" I said " I know I don't make sense-"
"You do" He said "I understand"
"It's easy to talk to a stranger than people we know" I said " I wanted to tell you that, You are not alone here, I have also lost someone that really mattered to me, everyone has went through this. I would have decided to say goodbye but, something inside me keeps telling me to hold on, there is more to life"I laid my thoughts on my tongue "don't you feel the same?"
"I don't know" He said
"neither I, it's like this tiny hope like thing that want to stay" I said "and wait for someone that will respect and love us the same"
"what if that someone has already left you" He asked
"Then you are looking at the wrong person, Sir" I said
"I cannot move on, I have tried, this pain doesn't go away!"
"Because you are not letting it go" I said "where are you btw?"
"why should I tell you?"
"You are at the top of something high? A building, a bridge, cliff?" I asked, hoping I was wrong
"how-.."
"I am good at guessing" I said quickly. Always been "Please get down and hear me out"
"you don't even know me, why do you care"
"I don't have to know you, I don't want your family to think someone coukd have helped" I said "Trust me, It will go away, It has to" I promised "I am trying, you should too"
He was quiet.
"okay, how about you try 7 days challenge with me?"
"what do u mean?"
"I mean to say, in 7 days we can say 'goodbye' togather"
"this is stu-"
"hear me out! Give yourself 7 days. And I will do the same, We will give ourselves a last chance"
"....."
"This is the least we can do for ourselves. Com'on, we deserve it"
"why are u doing this?"
"because, I am as confused as you. I want to know if this is what I want? If so, then I don't want to do this alone, call me selfish or crazy, I want to live all my life in 7 days and then say goodbye!"
"did someone broke your heart too?"
"Yes" I said " And before I sacrifice my life for that one person, I want to live my every single dream, be the person I idolize when I was little kid. "
Something just lifted off my chest. I felt the small spark, after so long.
Exactly, This is what I want. This is what I want for at least 7 days. I want it to be best 7 days of my life.
He sighed, as giving in and excitement crawled on me. I would have clapped my hands and went bunny on my bed but I didn't want to creep him out.
"deal!" He said. My soul nearly eacaped my body.
Those words were as magical as peeing in bed. Biting my fist, I silently thanked the invisible power.