[ Triggers : heavy grahics of violence
abuse, assault, rape, torture,
drugging, mention of self-harm ]
Splash.
Jiwook gasped when cold freezing water hit directly his face, making him regain his consciousness instantly, with it his pain too, which he slowly came to get used to. Even breathing now was a little better, as he knew exactly the safest way to breathe evenly, very slow, carefully not to overwork his lungs.
Maybe he'll be able to even speak a word or two.
He was unable to move for himself, just to turn his head was taking huge efforts from him. It seemed they had no patience to wait for him to face them, so one of the men took him by the nape and jerked him up.
At that moment with his eyesight yet not restored so far, he needed time to adjust it, but somehow he managed to spot the person he has been waiting for.
There in front of him, in a white immaculate suit, with dark hair styled intricately to each lock of hair, even the way he sat was like a royal would sit, though contrary to one, he wasn't bothering to conceal his utter disgust, no, more than that, he looked like he was repulsed to even be in that filthy place. The mere sight of Jiwook both repugnant and exciting for him, his smile stretched unnaturally on his face, the look in his eyes more distorted than one of a sick person, glinting in folly like the eyes of a maniac.
The moment Jiwook's eyes caught that glint, his whole body began to shake involuntarily, as if it instinctively sensed terror in that one presence.
- Hm. Is that him?
It seemed he wanted confirmation from his underlings first. After getting a nod from the leader of the group, he rose up and approached Jiwook, his look examining carefully the younger like one would inspect meat on the market, with the expectation of finding something rotten there.
Jiwook was seated on his knees, his head and back pinned in place, forced to stay like that, not able to move even an inch, not that he had the strength to.
The man in white, lifted one leg and dropped it with all his weight on Jiwook's crotch, making him flinch from the sudden pain, his ankle boot, white as well, stepped further and heavier, with the clear intent of making it awfully painful for Jiwook.
The younger could just gasp helplessly, suffocate in weak cries and groans of pain, huge tears flowing, though his eyes felt so dry and swollen, that it hurt greatly to cry like that. A drop of tear mixed with blood dropped on the impeccable boot, making that person click his tongue and remove his leg.
- Fuck. These shoes were limited edition, you shithead.
"Were"… it seemed he was going to throw it away, as if a deathly disease was placed on it.
He made two steps back from Jiwook, his face twisted in extreme irritation. The younger could breathe again.
- Give me that.
He asked and one of his men gave him a baseball bat, which he took furiously and started to throw and hit it a few times on the ground, as if checking if it was sturdy enough. The metallic crashes cut sharply Jiwook's ears, making him shudder violently at each strike.
- So now listen Han Siwon, I'm not gonna repeat myself. Break up with Min Siwoon, run away, disappear from his life, like you never existed in it, once and for all. Did I make myself clear?
Jiwook gulped his sheer fright down, trying to force himself to steady his trembling, to be able to at least voice something.
- W-w-wh..hy? … w-why m..e?
- Oh it's not about you. You see, every fly around Min Siwoon should be snapped before it gets annoying.
Jiwook remembered what he wondered about on his way there and precisely, they couldn't have made it official, it was probably kept a secret, knowing Min Siwoon's background and all.
So he gambled.
- We're n-not in tha..at kin..d of rela-tion..ship.
- Hmf. Well it doesn't matter actually. You're just too close to him.
He was right, that person didn't know for sure, but it seemed even the existence of his brother around Min Siwoon bothered him to the point of going this far for one assumption.
- …So screw off, before you'll regret it. I'm not that patient.
He hit the bat inches away from Jiwook, crumbs of dirt sent flying from the strong impact, the strike nearly making the younger's heart stop.
It was dangerous. He had to find out his name. Right now! Before it's too late.
- W-who ar..e you?
That man didn't like when he wasn't given a clear answer, seeing as the second question irked him way too much.
- Shit!, he shouted, this fucker thinks I'm joking here. You should have just say you'll do it from the beginning.
A devilish laugh followed tensing every inch of Jiwook's body to the extreme. The man poked the younger's stomach with the bat a few times, not that strong as the first time, it seemed he simply didn't want to get blood on his white suit.
- Very well. If you want to play, then let's play for now.
He sat in his chair, signaling the others to get to work.
- I don't think you need your limbs to speak, do you?
Jiwook's heart stopped in horror.
- N-NO! W-WAIT! NO! PLEASE!
He yelled his lungs out as he was thrown back on the floor, two of the men holding his helpless struggle, the third with a bat already in his hand, swung it with an exaggerated gesture like he was going to hit a baseball ball and not a human's body.
Crack.
A glass-breaking shriek cut through the air right to everyone's ear, making all of them squeeze their eyes from the loudness of that piercing sound.
Jiwook fainted.
- Wake him up!
They tried but it was of no use, Jiwook was unconscious dead, nothing could wake him up in that state. His body was pushed beyond its limit.
- I don't care! Give him a drug, two if needed. I want him awake right now, said he irritated shoving his underling by the collar, when he informed him that their attempt was without success.
And they just did that.
Jiwook was injected with a drug that jerked him awake in a second, his heart beating too fast, every beat impossible heavy and loud, like it beat right in his ear and not in his chest. His eyes, even the swollen one that he couldn't move before, twitched and widened so much that it felt like his balls could fall out of his eyes at any moment. His breathing too hustled, rushed uncontrollably, making his lungs burn from abusing it like that.
His head felt heavy like weighing a tone no less; it started to work with microscopic precision, an overflow of thoughts and memories running through it, like he just drank a whale-portion of energy drinks. Though in opposite to energy drinks that sort of dulled your senses and exhaustion, Jiwook's senses sharpened to almost superhuman degree. He could feel even how his blood was flowing in his veins. Right then each wound, each bruise, each cut, inside and out, hurt ten times more painful.
He could finally count and feel each of it: his dislocated shoulder, his most likely broken ribs, the cuts on his stomach and hands, some deep enough to bleed even now, more contusions on his head and back, his broken left leg with its bone cracked in two, one part pierced his skin from inside and was now sticking out, his right eye even in that state felt dead numb.
Though the inhuman pain was literally making him lose his mind, yet he couldn't collapse, for some strange reason his body kept itself intentionally awake.
Only after he spotted the used syringe thrown on the floor, he understood that he has been drugged. One thing was to his advantage in that dire situation and namely the fact, that he could think straight right then.
- Finally back? Let's end this quickly. Answer my question-
- Why…*huff should I?! *huff If you want to *huff make a deal with me…*huff say your fucking name first!
- What?
The man had a priceless idiotic expression of shock on his face and Jiwook, for the first time that day, felt that he did it right for once.
- You deaf? *huff I asked what is your fucking name!
He especially emphasized that one word to make him deliberately angry. He decided to try and risk to make that asshole furious enough for him to lose his defense and maybe he'll be lucky and the other will make a mistake or drop a hint.
- Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jiwook ground his teeth anxiously at the hysterical laugh of that psycho. The man turned suddenly his head at an unnatural angle like he was a broken puppet, the move sent chills down Jiwook spine.
- Oh! Did you hear that?, he asked the one man on his right, that seemed to have his hair stood up at the sight as well, then turned back to Jiwook – Han Siwon you're interesting. It's almost a waste to crush you that easily. You want to know my name? Haha sure why not! But you'll have to pay the price for it. How that sounds?
Jiwook didn't waver his glare, stealing himself for whatever that crazy was imagining in his head.
- Wow! How fun! I love then things are fun. He's begging so desperately, we'll have to fulfill his little wish don't you think that, guys?
All three men looked at one each other somehow puzzled, but his next words were enough of a hint, and they took the job, sick wicked smiles stretched on their face.
- … His face is not half bad. So it shouldn't feel that bad doing it, right?
- Wh..at?
Jiwook could still feel his body burning with pain enough to make one go mad from it and just thinking of what those bastards were about to do, shattered all his rationality in crumbles. His stomach rushed to throw up at the mere thought, but there was nothing to throw up to begin with.
- No! Go away from me! No! NO!
Even with his leg broken and his body limp, he tried with all his might to crawl away from them, escape that disaster in absolute despair.
Yet it was too late.
They grabbed him, turned him the other way, nailed him hard on the ground with arms, legs, knees, far too heavy of a weight for him to uphold at that moment. The pressure crushing all his insides and his lungs, maybe another rib cracked, his body pressed like he was under a truck.
And then…
He felt he was dying with every thrust. His back was ripped off, flesh scorched inside, everything inside of him breaking and tearing, as if a living monster was eating him from inside.
His vocal chords snapped probably. He could no longer scream nor groan from the excruciating pain. Breaths ragged that were no more than a reflexive necessity of his body. His pupils slid up, eyes blanking out. The broken leg cracked maybe in two more places, unable to bear that force and weight upon him.
Despite it all, his mind was clear, registering every drop of the pain shot at him, the drug amplifying it, and still he was forced to remain sane.
His thoughts slipped to his brother and what he went through at that time. How helpless did he feel, how painful, miserable enough to want to die… and what did Jiwook do? He laughed at him and hurt him more.
Jiwook asked himself how could his brother withstand it all and live further. At that moment he wanted to die so much, to end that endless pain, to just end it all, but… the thought of his brother was what actually kept him from wishing for it. His apology was nothing comparing to that pain. He should, he must stay alive and atone for his sin.
He owed him at least that much.
- How lovely! That was really an exciting show, the man in white clapped satisfied coming to the slumped Jiwook and lifted his head up, grabbing him from the hair.
It seemed he was too curious about the younger's expression to even care about filth and dirt right then.
Jiwook's left eye met the other's, noticing the creepiest of smiles, which meant that he was very pleased with whatever he found on Jiwook's face.
Though there couldn't be any strength left, he still managed to move his hand and grip the other's arm weakly.
- N-n…ame!
It was quieter than a whisper, but staying so close to him, that that man surely had to hear what he said.
He did but he feigned ignorance and dropped Jiwook down with a loud thud. The younger was holding desperately the other's sleeve but once casted down, he had no power to held onto it any further.
- 'Cause you can't speak anymore, I guess, it's no use to continue our talk. I take you understood everything well enough. Now that I think of it, you're completely different from that one, how was his name… Yoon … Yoon- Oh! Exactly Yoon Taemin…
Jiwook froze. An inexplicable cold feeling engulfed him.
That name. He knew it. Siwon's phone. The texts from Min Siwoon. It was all addressed to that person – Yoon Taemin.
How could that asshole know that name?
- … Another annoying bug that Min Siwoon kept hidden like some kind of treasure…
Why did Min Siwoon talk to that Yoon Taemin through his brother phone? It didn't make sense.
- Hm, but how lucky, he died last spring before I could even do something.
!!
- Though, I went to see him once, when he was still alive. I was curious why Min Siwoon liked a nobody like him. And guess what I found, haha he was poorer than shit and was struggling, but yet had this bitchy attitude like he had nothing to lose. Not afraid of anything like some big shit… though I should agree, he knew how to fight. At least he had that fierce look on him… hm I guess with him, it would have been more fun. What a shame… That aside, you're nothing compared to him, what did Min Siwoon find in a weakling like you? …
"fierce look, knew how to fight, …nothing compared to him, completely different..."
The words spun in circles in Jiwook's mind and he had an ominous feeling settling in his gut. It felt like something that would turn his life upside down, never would it return back and it scared him far more than anything that he went through that day.
Regardless of his senses, his mind was digging further like it was out of Jiwook's control.
His brother changed very much after his suicide attempt. To the point that nobody recognized him anymore, nor Jiwook, nor his parents. He had that "fierce look", he "knew how to fight". He didn't remember anything. Not even that his was allergic. He wasn't left-handed anymore, he wrote with his right hand… Min Siwoon showed interest in his brother also after the incident… They were together. Min Siwoon calling him "Taemin"…
"… you're nothing compared to him, what did Min Siwoon find in a weakling like you?"
Jiwook's head rang louder and louder but his chain of thoughts wouldn't stop.
"Min Siwoon likes…not my brother but Yoon Taemin. Siwon he…he's Teamin! He's not my brother!"
The realization hit him so hard, smashing all his beliefs and laws of this world, that he started to laugh at his own nonsense. It was a muffled strained laugh, more like abrupt, cut breaths and dry coughs, even that action exploited his throat enough to not be able to let even a sound more.
Contrary to his muted stillness, everything inside of him was collapsing with catastrophic force, at a speed too fast for his heartbeat to match, for his mind to comprehend. And it was rising more and more.
"… he died last spring…"
Around the time his brother…
"Yoon Taemin died.
But he's alive.
Siwon…is Yoon Taemin.
Then what about my brother? Where is my brother?"
And the worst, the darkest, the cruelest nightmare, that Jiwook held buried in the deepest place of his soul, came truth.
His twin brother… his Siwon...
was dead.