I wheezed out my last breath, alone, in that hospital bed. Nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, nowhere around. My own choice. I kept silent about the cancer that was killing me. It was my directive that it be kept silent til after my body was cheaply disposed of. And the lawyer KNEW, I meant CHEAP. Lol. Pancreatic cancer. Age, 50 years and a couple months. I was fine with it. I had expected nothing of life, for a very long time. I lost interest in it years and years before. So, fully conscious, I was fine with it, when that last breath hissed out, and my heart took its last beat.
And then, I woke up.
Lying on my back, in a field full of poppy flowers.
I blinked. Then sneezed. No pain. I inhaled deeply. Nope. I actually felt…good. So, I tried sitting up. Yup. That worked. I looked down at myself. Still wearing the damned hospital gown. At least the tube wasn't still up my dick. THAT had been uncomfortable, even WITH all the other pain I was in… There was no sign of the wasting that had rendered me almost a skeleton, by the very end. I was fully fleshed out. Not in my usual pudge, but, in muscle. THAT was strange. I grabbed a fist full of my own hair to look at it. They had wanted to cut it all off, in the hospital. I had steadfastly refused. It was mostly brown, still, shot through with some gray. So; alive and healthy. But, not young. Rising to my feet, I looked around. Off in the distance, seemed to be a copse of trees. With a shrug, I wobbled off in their direction. It had been a while since I had walked under my own power, so, moving across a poppy covered plain, was good. The ground was soft beneath my bare feet, and moist. Also good. There appeared to be a river running though the little forest. Something large and black lay beside the running water. Something that raised its head, and turned to look at my approach. A dragon. A very, VERY large, black, dragon. With brilliant, amber eyes. It made no move, as I slowly walked up to it. Clearing my throat, I nodded and spoke.
"Good day to you." My voice was harsh and raspy. My throat was quite dry. Not too much to my surprise, the dragon nodded amiably and replied.
"You as well. Nice clothes. Your equipment is hanging out." Damn. A female dragon.
Struggling to arrange the irritatingly piss poor coverage of the hospital gown, I ignored the jibe.
"Could you tell me where I am? Am I dead?"
"Well… you're not dead. As for where you are, not exactly sure myself… I don't pay much attention to towns and villages, etc. People tend to get nervous if I get too close. But, you are in the country of Fanglorvale."
I sighed and hung my head.
"That's not on planet earth."
"Earth? …oooh… I see. You're one of THOSE."
"Eh?"
"Summoned. You're a hero somebody summoned. That's the way these things happen, with you humans, so I have heard. Actually met one, a few centuries ago. Saved the world during the last Demon war." The dragon rolled a bit uncomfortably, favoring its right foreleg. I then noticed the ugly, giant trap which was locked upon its massive foot. There was no blood, but, it appeared the teeth were biting quite deep.
"Not going to ask how that happened. But, can I help you with it?" I indicated the device with a nod.
"Well, I wish you could. It's warded against my own magics. Someone has it in for me around these parts, I guess…" she grumbled bitterly.
"Do you eat humans?"
"Oh FARTHAS no. You humans taste TERRIBLE. And really, one never knows where you've been or what diseases you're carrying…"
I opted not to be insulted, and instead approached her to get a better view.
"Ugh. No release catch. This was designed to open AFTER cutting all the way though your foot." I grimaced, gently moving the trap and her foot around, looking for an option. There was only one.
She watched as I positioned myself and stood in a wide stance, gripping each side of the trap.
"Once upon a time, I was young and strong enough to do this. Dunno if I still have the gas. But, let's try."
Slowly, I built up pressure, trying to pull the teeth apart. The dragon looked amused, even though it had to be painful, as I was trembling violently with the effort. Then, the amusement turned to shock, when the metal of the trap began to audibly groan in protest, from the strain. With a roar, I spent the last of my strength in tearing the trap in two, falling on my ass in the effort, and exposing myself again. The trap hit the ground, and the dragon sprang to her feet. She lifted her foot to her face, and examined it closely. Then, she put it in her mouth. When she pulled it out, all damage had been erased. Her mangled foot was perfect.
"MOST unexpected. Well, I should not say that. You aren't of this world, so, one would guess you have a few trick up your sleeve. Nice equipment, by the way. Though, I've seen bigger, of course…."
I gritted my teeth. Pissing off an animal that weighted twice what a Greyhound bus did, was not a good idea.
"Thanks. And you're welcome."
"Ah! Yes. Since you've saved me, I'm bound by my Flights' conventions to serve you." She said, nonchalantly, turning and moving close enough to the stream to start drinking.
"Serve me? You mean, like a side dish at a dragon convention or something?" I crawled up, staggered over beside her, and knelt down myself to drink. The water was incredibly sweet and pure.
"No. As I said, humans really taste terrible. You have nothing to fear that way. I wouldn't touch your nasty carcass with a 20 foot pole."
"You're not the only female to have said THAT to me…. And , after having just died of cancer, I have no wish to be eaten."
"HA. Cancer? I have heard of that. Dragons don't get it."
"Lucky. Most humans die of it, in some form or another. I think old age is in second place for us."
"We don't get THAT either." The black dragon looked at me, with a rather smug expression on her face. "We're immortal."
"Wow." I lowered my head into the water and drank deeply for a few seconds, before responding. "You guy must get colossally bored."
"Yes. We usually die of THAT, when we get too bored. By our own choice of course. I was contemplating it myself, rather than let someone get their hands on my body."
"Really? Your hide is that valuable?"
"Our scales are pretty much impenetrable. Worked correctly, they make legendary class armor for you dunces. In fact, here. Wear this and stop waving your junk around. For some reason, I find it disturbing." Beside her appeared a suit of black armor and black chain mail, laying on the grass of the stream bank.
"Ah! Storage. I wonder if I have that too. How would I pull a menu…?" I started poking around the air in front of my face, curiously. The menu came up as if on cue. "HAH! YES!"
The dragon nudged me rudely in the side, knocking me over. The menu vanished and I slid down the bank and into the stream. Which she apparently found hilariously funny, as I could hear her raucous laughter even underwater. Thankfully the current was not strong and the water itself was shallow, and clear. And warm. Fish abounded. Swimming around my legs. I realized then, that I was rather hungry. First time again, in a VERY long time for me. Chemotherapy tended to take ones appetite away altogether.
"Do you, perchance, breathe fire?" I asked, eyeing the fish, going about their business all around me.
"Yes. Of course."
"If I collect a small pile of wood, can you light it, without incinerating the rest of the forest?" I grabbed a fish with my bare hand and chucked it onto the bank.
"…you're TRYING to piss me off, now, aren't you?" smoke escaped her nostrils. Not figuratively either.
"Yep. You seem like fun that way. I mean, since you're supposed to be bound to serve me, I have to at least make your time interesting til I die, no?" a fish in each hand flew onto the bank.
"…that would be most welcome…"
I looked at her, as a huge tear trickled down the side of her face.
"NONE OF THAT. I can't deal with human women crying. I have no CLUE what to do, to comfort a crying female dragon."
"Ah. That. Easy enough." Suddenly, instead of a dragon standing on the bank of the stream, a seven foot tall woman, with amber eyes, and long, black hair, stood there. I fell down again, in shock. Her impressive figure was clad in black armor, like she was trying to get me to wear.
"…why didn't you do that to escape the trap???" I yelled.
"Trap was spelled. My magical was turned off while it was on me." She shrugged. Did I mention her fantastically impressive figure? I mean, Red Sonja on roids. HUGE tracks o land…
"Do you like fish?"
"Far more than human meat, I'm happy to admit." She began picking up branches and twigs and piling them nearby. "But we'll need more than three. FAR more. Keep throwing, there…oh. What's your name?"
I nodded. "Sorry. Totally forgot to introduce myself. John. John Saint-George."
She looked at me sardonically. "You're joking, right? Descendant of George the Dragonslayer?"
"Oh! No. Well, I don't know. Didn't even think of that." I shrugged and went furiously back to pitching fish onto the bank.
She sighed and shook her head. "I get a feeling of impending doom from this relationship. I am Reginax. Queen of the Black Dragon Flight."
"Nice to meet you. How many more fish do you wish, my Queen?"
"Don't YOU call me that. I have to serve your ass. Speaking of which, get out of that water and COVER YOURSELF, damnit!!!"