Glenn blinked. Inhaled deeply. And sat up. For the 1st time in a thousand years. The grin on his face was wide and infectious. He raised a hand to his face and marveled at it.
"Welcome back to the land of the living!" the ancient wizard, Gargamel cackled.
"Thank you. Thank you SO much!" the Hero of the last Demon War started to cry and grabbed the little man in a bear hug.
"..gle..nn..can't…brea..th…"
"OH! So sorry…"
I shook my head and chuckled. Reginax waited anxiously for her man to release the wizard, so she could move in for a hug of her own. Well, and kissing. There's going to be kissing as well I guess. And groping. Come on guys, there are other people here…
"GLENN!! Damnit, keep your clothes on til you get to a private room!" I barked, seeing the direction their reunion was moving.
"Prude." The black dragon queen growled, deliberately kissing her man again.
The red dragon queen standing beside me chuckled.
"Is he now? Well, I'll fix that."
'BEHAVE, Ang." I frowned, looking up at the tall redhead who was maneuvering in for I wasn't quite sure what. Dragons are apparently very open when they have affection for someone. I was not used to being treated in such a way. I didn't MIND it. But I needed to be more mentally prepared to be grouped by a woman who was stronger than I and had such affectionate intent.
"Feh. We have to work on you, youngster." She grinned evilly and kissed me deeply. Instantly I was inside her mind. I don't know if She instituted it, or if I did it unawares. It last a few seconds only, and it was she and I, rolling around naked in a field of tall grass. Then, we were back in Gargamel's lair again. She had a rather impish expression on her face, which told me that momentary act of coitus had been her. THAT was a relief. I'd like to think I had better control in my mind than that.
"Oi! I heard that thought ye little shit! So I have nae self-control?!"
Ooops.
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Glenn and I were walking through the forested environs around the Wizard's lair.
"So, now what?" he asked, beaming at me, rather merrily.
"Huh?"
"Are we going to start figuring out why we have all been maneuvered to this point?"
"Ah. I wonder. Do we need to? Or will events continue to present themselves to lead us in that direction…"
Glenn tripped over a root and would have face planted, had I not grabbed him. This time, I didn't end up face planted myself.
"Thanks! Still getting used to moving my feet again instead of just floating along." He laughed.
"No worries. How about teaching me some sword stuff? I only LOOK like a knight. In my last life I was an over sized office worker."
"What is an 'office worker'?"
"I filled out paperwork and filed things. It was boring. Not very lucrative either. No chance for advancement. Salary wasn't really enough to live on. I assume the pay-scale for Adventuring is good?"
"Well, that really used to depend on the missions you undertake. There are well paying ones and there are easy ones that don't pay much at all. And I will need to renew my guild card. It expired a thousand years ago…"
"Won't that cause a bit of a ruckus? The Hero of the Demon Wars coming back to life and registering with an Adventurer's Guild?"
"Probably. But, I was used to such disturbances wherever I went, really. Yelling. Screaming. Women throwing themselves at me. AH! But all that ended with Reginax!" he added, hastily.
I laughed out loud, and just like that found myself sitting on the ground, knocked there by a massive impact nearby. A moderate size black dragon glared at us, rather balefully. Definitely NOT in a friendly fashion. I saw it inhale.
"Glenn! MOVE!"
The Hero dove out of the way, rolling to his feet and drawing his sword. Gerechtigkeit glowed with a blue inner light. Something it had never done for me. Well, I wasn't a hero. Glenn charged the massive creature and slashed, as it was drawing another breathe. It choked and howled in pain as a long, deep gash appeared in its scales, revealing flesh and blood beneath its armor. I got to my feet, and drew The Horseman's Blade. Angry, black and red fire raced up and down the sword. I glanced at it, rather puzzled as I rush forward to attack. This blade wasn't supposed to be enchanted. Apparently though, it was. I swung the long blade, one armed, at the dragon. I missed of course. But the gout of raging red and black flame did NOT. The dragon shrieked as its right foreleg was neatly amputated and the wound cauterized. It was like a hot knife through butter.
Glen leap forward, taking advantage of the creatures shock at being so wounded, and drew another deep scar right down its chest. The shock and pain of that new wound, finally made it take to the air, wailing. It shot up into the sky, cradling its wounds and keening loudly. Suddenly, we weren't alone on the ground. Angelax stood beside me, and Reginax by Glenn.
"WHAT the hell was THAT all about??" I shouted, watching the rapidly diminishing form of the black dragon in the sky, as it retreated with all the haste its wounded form could apparently muster.
"Male." Angelax growled.
"One of mine." Reginax added.
"Oh shit. Did we just hurt one of your kin?" I asked, looking at the black dragon Queen in concern.
"Not to worry. He will heal. And maybe learn a lesson. He was probably looking for me. Or Angelax. He smelled a female and was in rut. You dealt with him more kindly than either of us would have." She smiled grimly.
The red dragon queen watched the fleeing figure in the sky.
"I doubt this is over with. He will inform others. We will need to move, or more will come looking."
"Agreed." Reginax added, glumly.
"We better tell Gargs we're leaving then…" Glenn said.
********************************************************************************************
"Nonsense!" the wizard shouted. We'll all stay here. I'll just MOVE here."
"Come again?" The Hero scratched his head.
"I'll dimensionally displace my lair to someplace else, is all."
"Come again?"
Gargamel sighed and his shoulders slumped.
"You Heroes really aren't very bright…"
"Well, no. We are mainly just here to hack and slash. Intelligence is left to wizards and the like…"
Reginax squeezed her man in a hug. It would probably have broken another man's ribs. But now, Glenn was made of tougher stuff. He grinned and pecked her on the cheek.
"I want to know about this sword…"
"Eh, the Horseman's Blade. I told you, it's not cursed…"
"Okay, then what is THIS all about?" I drew the blade and it immediately burst into the black and red, raging flames.
The dragons immediately looked embarrassed.
"Um… that.." Angelax started
"Would be us…" Reginax finished sheepishly.
"You both placed a spell on my sword? Why?"
"No no. That's not a spell. And we didn't do it on purpose."
"Those flames are a physical manifestation of our living souls. They are transferred by intimate contact to protect ones we care for."
"WAIT. I can understand that from Reginax… seeing as Glenn borrowed my body. But I haven't done anything THAT intimate with Angelax!!"
"Yet." She finished my statement with a wolfish grin.
"Doesn't have to be physical anyway, prudie boy. You were inside my mind. Saw my whole lifespan. That sure n does count as 'Intimate'."
"But… but. BOTH of you?! Come on. That doesn't look good…"
"I think, I may be slightly jealous…" Glenn stated, flatly.
"SEE!!" I shouted, pointing.
"Oh, hush, both of you. You are both loved. By both of us." Reginax growled.
"What about me?" Gargamel interjected plaintively.
"STOP making things worse, wizard!"
*******************************************************************************************
I sat on a bench, watching a wide viewscreen against the far wall. It showed a scene, well above the landscape, as if an eagle soared through the sky, looking for a place to land. Yeah, that was us. Well, apparently, Gargamel was showing us the view as he scanned for a better place for us to put down some roots. He had been alone for a long time as well, and was rather loath to have us leave. So, he was willing to expend the effort to find us new digs.
"How about the beach? I could do with viewing some bathing beauties…" the wizard cackled.
"I am fine with that." Glenn Eridol chimed in brightly.
I raised an eyebrow and said nothing.
"No comment?" Angelax murmured.
"Nope. Discretion is the better part of valor."
"Ye big pansy."
"I am NOT a pansy."
"Prove it then." She grinned.
"Wear a bikini and I'll give it some thought."
In retrospect, that last comment from me PROBABLY was a mistake…
*************************************************************************************
Pure, white sandy beaches. Black volcanic rocky cliffs of moderate height. I wouldn't have been surprised to find a ruined Maya village. It reminded me of a vacation I had gone on many years before, where I took a tour of the ruins of Tulun. There was such a beach there, as well. With water so incredibly blue, you couldn't tell where the ocean ended and the horizon began. The façade of Gargamel's lair butted up neatly against the volcanic rock cliff face. He apparently could alter the rock itself to resemble the natural stone that made up the surrounding area. Currently, the ancient little wizard was dressed in a male bathing suit circa 1890 or so. Covered from elbows to knees with black and white stripes. It was quite a sight. Glenn and I sported regular trunks. I had set up several beach umbrella and towels, and was sprawled out beneath one, dozing off, lulled by the sound of the waves and the breeze which blew gently through the cove we were now located in. The girls were still inside the Garg-Cave (no one else got the reference but me. But I found it funny, anyway), getting ready. I was asleep, when I suddenly felt someone settle themselves down on top of me. I opened my eyes just in time to be tongued by a 7 foot redhead. Oi. Certainly not a bad way to wake up, by any stretch. Then she sat up. Her "bathing suit" (if it could even be called that) consisted of 3, exceedingly tiny pieces of fabric and some very flimsy looking thread. Her grin was wide and toothy, and she winked at me.
"Oi. Here's my bathing suit."
"Why'd you bother? There's not enough cloth there to clean a pair of eyeglasses…"
"Well, I WAS considerin' dispensin' with it altogether, but Reginax said you seem to have some pansy type issue with female nudity…"
I turned my head to glare at the Black Dragon Queen, who was studiously ignoring me from the other blanket, as she nibbled on Glenn's ear.
"Wench." I hissed at her.
"What? You grumped EVERY time you woke up with me naked." She said, innocently.
I groaned and closed my eyes in embarrassment.
"Could you NOT talk about that while another female is straddling me??"
"Why? Causing you 'Male' problems?" Reginax replied, rather smugly.
"Oh! OI!" Angelax squeaked in surprise.
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine my calm, serene place.
"Wait! Don't stop that!!" the Red Dragon Queen grabbed me by the shoulders and rudely bounced my head up and down on the sand several times.
"OW OW OW!!" I yelled with each rebound.
"Ach. Damn…" she sighed, releasing my shoulders.
I blinked several times, to get my eyeballs to stop clicking in my skull.
"Too rough…" I croaked.
"Eh?"
"You're too rough! I'm not a masochist! Pain will NOT get you your desired results!!"
"Oh sorry. Forgot ye were so 'delicate'…"
My eyes narrowed.
"I am NOT 'delicate.'"
"Coulda fooled me." The redhead tossed her hair to the side and sat up straight, the thread holding the patches of cloth together on her upper structure, straining mightily.
Calm. Serene. Peaceful.
Gargamel popped up from the surf, wearing a set of diving goggles and waved at us furiously.
I could not help but laugh.
"Someone watch the wizard before a shark eats him…"
"Shark?" Glenn mumbled, buried in the black dragon's ample assets.
"Ocean predator. Lots o teeth. Eats anything. Even us foul tasting humans."
"Been there. Done tha. Ye do taste turrible. Once was eno.'"
"…THAT is disturbing information to know…"
The redhead shrugged.
"Well, would ye rather I LIED abou it?"
"No. No no."
"Alrighty then."
"…how many?"
"OI NOW!! Di I ask ye about how many women ye been wit??!"
"Well, no. But, normally when I dine on a woman, they're alive at the end of it…"
"Oh ye lil shit…" she growled and swatted at me. Next thing I knew I was being hauled up from the surf by Gargamel.
"NICE! What did you say?? She smacked you a GOOD 30 yards! You skipped like a stone for the first 20 or so!!"
I spluttered and hacked the water from my lungs. Angelax was sitting with her back to me, as Reginax and Glenn laughed merrily on the shore. I smirked.
"Never piss off a female, Gargs. Be she human or dragon. The end result is much the same."
"I will take that under consideration, Sir. But honestly speaking, you do realize, that blow would have killed most men. I think you are of tougher stuff than you are letting on. Or realize."
I paused and judged the distance I had been blasted. Yeah. I should be dead. Another mystery. Did I even WANT to know? Probably wouldn't make much difference to the way I live. My feet touched the bottom of the shoreline and I began to tred my way in. Without stopping, I walked up the beach, straight to the redheaded dragon. She glanced at me nonchalantly as I approached. Without speaking or asking permission, I bent over and easily lifted the 7 footer in my arms, in a classic Princess Carry. Turning, I strolled toward the cave.
"Oi now! What's this?!" she squawked.
"Yer getting yer wish. " I said, rather loudly.
"…my…oh. OH! Right!" her face brightened considerably.
********************************************************************************************
What followed, I will not relate. Sufficed to say, The Red Dragon Queen had her appetites satiated for the first time in several eons.