I awakened in stages. Aware of a soft bed. Which was nice. Hospital beds were NOT pleasant. And then, the sweet scent of a woman. And the warmth of a naked body laying pressed against me. FEAR. Then, I woke up. Looking to my left, Reginax was curled tightly against me, her ridiculous, naked curves molded against the side of my body. Boobs. HUGE boobs. Up. Get up quietly. No no not THAT way. UGH. What was I? A teenager again with morning wood??? Damnit!! Silent. Stealthy. Get up and away before she wakes up and roasts you alive.
"g'mornin…"
Shit. Dead.
"Morning!" I squeaked, hopping away from the bed, one leg in chain mail pants, the other flopping about noisily.
"I take back all the derogatory things I may have said about your equipment." The female dragon yawned and sat up, rubbing her eyes. Oh.. my…GOD those breasts…
"Ah.. hah hah… Reginax, you do realize this is John you're talking to… Glenn isn't here at the moment…' I managed to get the other leg into my pants and had the crude handle of the door beneath my palm, making ready to run like HELL.
"Of course." The towering woman rose and stretched, 7 feet of naked, rippling muscly T and A… "Glenn said he needed to rest. Apparently possessing your body for 12 hours of marathon sex was a bit much for him."
I stopped and debated turning around and glaring at her. No wonder I was sore everywhere. In real life, I hadn't been with a woman in… wow. Instant depression… nevermind… I opted not to, as I wasn't such I could long stand looking at her incredible figure without my mind snapping from repressed sexual desire.
Instead, I remained facing away from the dragon/woman, and continued dressing.
"Where are we, anyway?" I asked, changing the subject abruptly.
"Still in the village. Found a room that was still relatively solid, applied a bit of magic, and voila; a suitable room for sleeping." I heard her getting dressed behind me.
"Okay. I'm going to go collect Glenns' gear and remains from that tomb."
That seemed to focus her attention a bit.
"Why?"
"He said he can't leave the village. I'm betting it's because his remains are interred here. If we take them with us, he SHOULD be able to come along as well. You think?" I turned to look at the half dressed Reginax, and quickly averted by eyes.
"You…you would bring him? You would allow this to continue?" I couldn't get out of the way in time, to avoid her embrace. I was buried in boobs. Suddenly my lower portion was distinctly uncomfortable, being restricted by chain mail underpants. Damnit.
"Mphlble!! Stttppp!!! Rgnx!!!" I quickly extricated myself and turned away, shaking badly.
"What?!?!" she wailed, coming up behind me and wrapping her arms around me again.
"Please..stop that. Step back." I managed to say.
She did as asked.
"Your state of undress is causing me some serious control issues with certain parts of my body. Not to mention my libido. Please put some clothes on."
Instead, I deliberately heard her clothes hit the floor. And I felt her naked body press up against me again from behind. This time the arms wrapped around me gently.
"It is not a problem. How long has it been for you?" she asked quietly.
I was silent. "I don't even remember. I don't want to. It hurts to think about it."
Reginax sympathetically tightened her embrace.
"You have given me back the one true love of my life. I can deny you nothing. Glenn and I…we discussed this. He said it was alright, if I felt you were worthy."
"No." I said, trying not to sound harsh. I gently extricated myself from her embrace, still avoiding turning to face her. "I can't. I appreciate the offer, more than you might imagine. But, I can't. Not with someone who loves someone else. It's not my way. Not the way I was raised. I am not a mindless thing, controlled by my hormones. I control ME. Not my testicles. Know that it's nothing about you, Reginax. You are incredibly beautiful. But you do love Glenn. I would not intrude on that for the world. Not even if it was only the act itself." I grasped the doorhandle and quickly stepped out. Promptly falling ten feet to the ground below, collapsing in a pile at the bottom of a set of desiccated stairs.
"DAMNIT WOMAN!!!"
***********************************************************************************
I gently removed the seal on the tomb, having chipped the ancient mortar away, around the long sealed door. The door was marble, and heavier that hell. But, I grunted and huffed it out of the way. It was dark inside, and I waited a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, before stepping in. Sure enough, stairs, going down into the darkness. Another tumble would have severely pissed me off.
As I descended, the walls on either side of me, began emitting a soft, magical glow. THAT was convenient. And very fancy for a village of this size. Glenn must have been a mega-big shot during his life. I can't imagine that anything but a legendary hero would have rated this kind of glam. Expensive. Had to be. Nothing else in the town came CLOSE to this level of magic. It was all still as the day it was constructed. Unlike the rest of the town, which was mostly crumbled to ruin.
After several minutes, I was at the base of the stairs. The actual tomb itself was roomy, with stone bench seating, in a church style. High ceilings. Scenes painted majestically on the ceiling. Tapestries hung on the walls. Stone coffin in the center, with relief figure carved into the lid.
"Yawn. You are up early, Sir." Glenn faded into view, seated on the bench nearest his mortal forms resting place.
"Yeah. Woke up being smothered to death by boobs. Thanks for that." I grumbled, starting to chisel away the mortar sealing his sarcophagus.
His face broke into a wide, happy smile.
"Absolutely MAGNIFICENT, isn't she?
"Yeah. Sure is." I kept my answers short. I didn't really want to have this discussion anyway.
"You seem a bit out of sorts, Sir. Did it not go well with my love?" Glenn was truly concerned. I was a good enough judge of character to see it in his face.
I sighed. "It went fine, Glenn. No worries."
"I take it you…do NOT want to discuss anything, then? Brag a little maybe?"
"No, Glenn. But thank you for asking." I was almost half way around the perimeter of the lid, working industriously with the dragon scale knife Reginax had provided me.
'Ah. I see. Didn't go well? Perhaps your gentleman was already worn out from prior usage in the evening?"
I stopped.
"I didn't fuck your woman, Glenn. Yeah, she's heartbreakingly gorgeous, and everything I would have desired in a female. But she loves you without question. And even with your and her consent, I do not EVER intrude on true love. I wouldn't want it done to me, so I do it to no one else. The offer is MOST gratefully appreciated. But, no." so saying, I went back to my task. There was silence for a bit.
"You are a good man. One of a type, I haven't met since a long time in my past."
I shrugged as I finished chiseling out the mortar.
"It's how I was raised. Yeah, I have urges, just like any other man. But, I am the master of me. Not my balls."
"I'm guessing you DID not have a lot of 'Luck' " in your prior existence…"
"No Sir. I did not. Women pretty much had no use for me whatsoever." I grunted as I threw my weight into moved the sarcophagus lid. There was the sound of stone, grinding against stone, as the lid slowly moved under the force I exerted against it.
"I am heartily sorry to hear, Sir."
I nodded and reached into the tomb, hauling out his armor and bones. Carefully, I placed them into my storage container, which magically presented itself in response to my silent call. It was a bit tough to breath at the moment. I put it down to dust, and not my own sadness and frustration at being alone my whole life and even after death, finding the woman I had longed for all my life, in love with another man.
"It's all good. At this point, no idea what to do with them anyway. Too old to make babies. I mean, to raise them and all. At least I can contribute and help others towards some happiness. I have an idea how to get you a permanent body again. Interested in hearing?"
The spirit perked up considerably at that.
"My attention is all yours, Sir."
I spent the next hour, cleaning out Glenn's sarcophagus, and explaining to him my ideas on creative resurrection.
*****************************************************************************************
The sun was high in the sky, before I ascended the stairs from the tomb. Glenn floated up beside me and stood on the ground, squinting.
"Reginax!" I bellowed, hooking Glenn's "Hero" sword to my waist, and adjusting the few other items I had brought externally from the tomb.
"No need to raise your voice. My hearing is significantly better than your own, I would warrant." She called, stepping from the nearby ruins, calmly dragging a full sized wagon as if it were nothing.
We watched in stunned amazement, as the dragon/woman easily wheeled the rolling contraption up to us.
"What?"
"Nevermind." I shook my head.
"Is Glenn here?" she asked, looking around.
"Yes, my Love!" the spirit replied, moving next to her.
"…yeah. He's here." I rolled my eyes.
"I have procured a spell to enable him to be visible to us."
"uh, I can already see him…"
"You are the only one. This will enable ALL to see him."
'Oh! Okay. Gotcha."
I started loading things into my cart, as the dragoness futzed with some tools and a book, mumbling to herself the whole time.
"Aum, aum, aum. Mananem Verbum Fohat. Kali Yug!"
I recognized those words. I shook my head in disgust. If that actually worked…
"Glenn!!!"
"Reginax!"
Somewhere, old Walt Disney was rolling around in his grave.
"ya might as well have said 'Klaatu barada nikto..'"
Glenn looked to me in shock. "You know Lord Gort??"
My shoulders drooped.
"What kind of screwed up fantasy world have I ended up in?? I suppose Gargamel exists here too???"
"Of course! He summoned ME, a thousand years ago!" Glenn said proudly.
"Smurf it all."