Her compromise — still not completely for herself — had me in a better mood: it was a sign that we were now thinking more or less on the same page, not me on the front cover and her at the back. It was a good start, so maybe in the future we would be on the exact same page. (Right now, we have a ten-something page gap between us.)
We returned to our room in the hour to be ready for dinner and Dawn finished her drink on the way. We met Dr Jones again, but she didn't say much, other than she'd be testing me instead of my uncle.
I checked my messages when I had placed Dawn on her bed after washing both of our hands to see if this had something to do with my uncle's schedule. There was a message by him, but it only told me of the same thing with not much explanation. That left me in confusion and wondered if Dr Jones had planned with my uncle with something I didn't know.
I just shrugged and went over my notes, remembering the proper terms. It wasn't something new, mius a few I'm used to saying in abbreviations. When Catherine learnt about that, she shared some notes she had taken with me and was shocked when she learnt I knew most of the knowledge she had acquired in her early years of college. "That's how my uncle more or less trusted me with this." I had said then. "If I hadn't known the things you already learnt in your early years of undergraduate studies, he never would have trusted me to help him with his works. Adding my knowledge of SCLC on top of that base was how he let me work as Dawn's carer."
I didn't add then that if I made any mistakes with those tests that were considered as "critical", Dawn would be having a main carer that would do all the work and don't let me do anything. That threat-like statement motivated me to study harder about those test topics. But thanks to Catherine's notes, I was able to attain knowledge I wouldn't have known. (I secretly hoped this would lead to shocking my uncle and working as proof that I'm studying hard not just for Dawn but for my future job.)
However, Dawn was completely in the dark when it came to this topic. It was not that I'd tried nor it was forbidden; it was just because she never questioned. Until now, that is.
"What are you reading?"
Dawn was probably expecting it to be a novel or something like that, so when I showed her the screen, she was in shock. "Why are you doing that? It's not like you're taking tests or something?"
Sometimes I get shocked with Dawn's guesses as they tend to hit the bull's eye, especially when the answer is something considered to be out-of-the-ordinary. I nodded and explained, "It's a necessary process. I mean, they can't give me all the work if they aren't sure of how much I exactly know. It's not like I'm an undergraduate in medical school or something like that, so I expected this would happen."
Dawn looked guilty, as if this situation was her fault. I'm sure she was thinking I wouldn't be in this mess if she hadn't requested me to be her caretaker. I smiled and said, "Well, this would prove useful in the future and this is definitely better than actually taking a medical exam. Besides, I already know most of the stuff they're planning to quiz me on, so it's not difficult!"
Dawn finally smiled then, the guilt slowly peeling itself off her face. She peeked into my notes then, and occasionally told me she'd heard it in a movie/drama or during her checkups. Surprisingly (or not), the number of terms she'd heard in movies and dramas outnumbered her checkups.
"Well, that may change in the future, who knows."
I laughed and added, "As long as you don't watch more medical stuff, possibly."
"Well, the words they say are mainly fixed, the words you won't hear unless you're in the surgery room."
I couldn't help but agree to her statement. The words they say are limited to just a handful of jargons in the medical area, which also tend to be focused mainly on the words you may hear in the OR. This was something a patient wouldn't hear, as they would be under anaesthesia. That was what Dawn said.
"Then I suppose it would overpower your movie and drama knowledge of these terms soon."
"Is that a good thing?"
I tried to smile, trying to look at the bright side. "Well, you'll be getting more knowledge…"
"But is there a point to it now?"
That made me lose my smile all together. It just threw me into the reality I didn't want to think of, the reality I'll be facing in under two years.
Seeing me unable to respond, Dawn's face changed from cheeky to something like contrite. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you…"
I shook my head, cutting off that meaningless apology of hers and spoke, "I'm just not used to that truth, no need to apologise. I'll get used to this soon enough."
Dawn still looked sorry, so I smiled and said, "It's true you probably won't feel the need of extra information, but too much information usually doesn't act like a poison. You may find a use of it in a way you've expected."
Dawn seemed to be convinced by my assertion although to my ears, it sounded a bit too strange. I continued to read the notes when she didn't seem to have the intention of continuing this topic.
Dinner arrived soon and Catherine entered with the nurse, holding another bag in her hand and a lollipop on the other. "We were able to get the candy you initially requested. One of my friends works as a nurse at a hospital in Korea and she was able to send boxes of these when I told her about your situation. She told me she can get them any time you want, so I told her to give us steady shipping for a year to me, and the bills would be charged by Dr Johnson."
Dawn eagerly took the candy from her hand and said, "Give her a big thank-you on behalf of me. I wish I could do something for her…"
"She told me seeing you happy is enough. A small act leading to someone else's happiness is part of why we do our job, and volunteer work because you can feel it in the flesh."
Catherine smiled and left, closing the door behind her. But when the nurse went and opened the door, she was still there, shocking us three. She poked her head back in and said, "Dr Jones will come because she personally asked your uncle to let her do it. She's apparently curious how your "extra talk" went on. All she told me was that and that she is "waiting for a more positive response this time", whatever that means."
I smiled and nodded, wanting to ask her when Dr Jones would come. Catherine beat me to it and said, "She isn't sure when she'll come; her schedule is a bit more hectic than it was, so you'll have to wait and see. She won't be too late since she isn't on the night shift."
I nodded in thanks and she went out, closing the door firmly shut behind her. While Dawn placed her lollipops on her bedside table and began to eat, I opened my lunch bag and took out all of its contents. There was a ham sandwich with avocado and scrambled eggs, a packet of orange juice, one banana, and one grape jelly. I placed the jelly on Dawn's plate and ate through my meal, eating the sandwich with juice and banana as dessert.
When I finished, Dawn was finishing what to my eyes looked like salad. I wasn't sure what she was eating: I didn't look at it before, which Dawn may have thought as abnormal, as I've seen what she was eating ever since she came here.
I looked back at my work to study more and Dawn soon finished her dinner and ate the jelly I gave her. After that, Dawn drank the cup of water, emptying up to the bottom. I stood up and went to the fridge at the corner, getting one bottle of water and the pitcher on top of it. Taking a sip of it, I went over to Dawn's bed and refilled it up, placing it on top of the table afterwards.
Dawn seemed to study my face a bit, perhaps trying to read my expression. "Aren't I usually an open book in front of you?"
Dawn blushed at my question and looked away, drinking her water. "It's just that… You look a bit angry. I was just trying to find the reason behind it."
I thought back through my actions since that talk and realised that to her I may have looked angry or at the very least, annoyed. I looked at Dawn, trying my best to soften my expression, and spoke, "I'm not angry, or annoyed, Dawn. Sorry."
"Then why?"
"I guess… It's because of your comment, I think. Because you still think not telling me would hurt me more than telling me. It's really selfish of me to wish for your opinion to change that quickly, but I can't help but be… A bit disappointed by your compromise."
Dawn's face looked close to shock, which made me chuckle and say, "I'm being really childish, aren't I?"
Dawn laughed lightly, her face much stiff from the ongoing shock.
We heard a sudden knock then and Dr Jones stuck her head in. I raised an eyebrow at her random entrance and Dr Jones smiled as if already anticipating this face from me. (And maybe from Dawn as well?)
Then she asked with a smile. "Lucas, can I borrow you for a bit?"