During moments like this, I can't help not to wish that I'm an outgoing person and not some awkward, unsociable teen.
Pasimple kong sinulyapan si Mavin. Nasa kaniyang pagkain na ang atensyon niya. We already talked about the test but we're still halfway through finishing our meal.
I pouted and did the same. Ano bang magandang pag-usapan? We're not classmates so I can't talk about our homeworks or projects...
"So this 'treat', when will it happen?"
"Ha?" agad akong napatingin sa kaniya.
"Is it my call? Or..."
Napakurap at agad ding nag-iwas ng tingin. "Of course, it's your call..." I smile. "I told you, I'll treat you anywhere you like, right?"
I played with my fries mindlessly. Why does he look so good with that taper fade haircut? He even look so clean and good in his uniform. It's unfair... Sa gilid ng mata ko ay nakita ko ang bahagyang pagtagilid ng ulo niya habang mataman pa ring nakatingin sa akin. A hint of smile is visible on his face.
"Right," he drawled, smiling. "How's your trip? I mean ang pag-uwi niyo sa probinsiya..."
I stared at his face for a second before opening my mouth. I told him, "It's fine". And follow up questions followed by. The questions are harmless. Like what are the tourist spots there, the delicacies, the culture... He didn't asked me about my Abuelo.
"Bakit Lucena? It's like you came from the end to move to the other end of Luzon."
Napatitig ako ng ilang sandali sa mukha niya. We're already done eating, and was about to leave our table. Itinuloy ko ang pagtayo. Isinukbit ko na ang bag habang nag-iisip ng isasagot sa katanungan niya. In the corner of my eyes, I saw him gulping down the remaining of his pineapple juice before pulling one strap of his knapsack over his shoulder. I waited for him before taking a step.
"My aunt and her spouse is living here," I explained to him.
I saw him glancing at me. "What 'bout your parents?"
Agad akong napatingin sa kaniya. Of course. No matter how much he had heard of me, he won't caught wind of my family.
"They are both away," I look away. "I mean my parents..."
Sa fast food ay marami ring mga estudyante. Mostly are high school and college students from the schools and universities around the city. I even saw some girls turning their heads at our way as we head towards the door; gazes linger for a moment to the man standing beside me. I took a step sideways unconsciously.
"Oh, so you're living with you aunt...?"
I purse my lips and nodded my head. "Yeah. It's been... like two years. And I'm not really a stranger to this town. I'd been here since I can remember."
Nakalabas na kami ng fast food. Hindi siya nagsalita kaya nilingon ko siya. He's looking at me sideways. His eyes are telling me that he's thinking of something. I peeled my eyes off him when I notice the white words in red background of the store at our front.
"I need to buy something in the bookstore," I told him.
Binago niya ang pagkakasukbit ng bag niya at, "Tara."
So we cross the distance of the bookstore that's just right in front of us. Hindi masyadong marami ang mga namimili ngayon.
"Why don't you ask me things? You just agree..." I wondered as we hand over our bags at the baggage counter. Suddenly remembering the thing he said to me when I'm about to enter the faculty hours ago.
"Because you don't ask me things, too." he said playfully.
I gape at him. He mutter a 'thanks' to the staff behind the baggage counter upon getting our number tag. Pagkatanggap nito ay sinulyapan niya ako. He chuckled and turn around. Wala sa sarili akong sumunod sa kaniya.
"Seryoso, Mavin. Baka napipilitan ka lang..."
Nang masulyapan ang mga red basket ay tumungo ako dito. Kumuha ako ng isa. Hindi pa man ito nagtatagal sa kamay ko ay nawala na ito sa akin. Sinundan ng mata ko ang basket na hawak na ng mahahaba at payat na daliri.
"Let me hold this one," he explained.
So by instinct I muttered a short 'thanks'. Huli na ng naisip ko na dapat umapila ako. We walked from aisle to aisle, slowly, eyes scanning the items on the display.
"Believe me, Akila. You can't make me agree or do things that weren't by my own will."
I quickly look at him. Ibinaling naman niya ang tingin sa akin. And the moment our eyes met, I felt something weird... like something flutter inside me. Napakurap ako sa kalagitnaan ng pagtititigan namin. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin saka tamihik na tumikhim.
"That's good to hear, then." I mumbled, not sure if it's loud enough for him to hear.
Bago pa siya makapagsalita, kung magsasalita man siya, ay nakalayo na ako. Namataan ko ang sadya kong mga gamit na bibilhin kaya nilapitan ko ang mga ito. As I'm checking the colors of the acrylic paints on the rack, I saw Mavin, in the corner of my eyes, silently checking the brushes.
Napanguso ako habang inilalagay na sa hawak niyang basket ang mga acrylic paint na napili. Then without talking I move to the aisle where the sketch pad and watercolor paper lies. Ganoon ang scenario hanggang sa makumpleto ko na ang mga sadya ko. Bago humalo sa pila ay kumuha muna ako ng isang kopya noong sadya kong libro sa gilid ng counter.
"So you are into books, too."
Nilingon ko si Mavin na all this time ay tahimik lamang na nakasunod sa akin. "Uh yeah... One of my hobbies I guess," and I showed him a shy smile.
He didn't say anything but his eyes are telling me something. Humalo na kami sa pila. I stand before Mavin (because he insisted it) and waited for almost ten minutes before my turn to pay. Si Mavin ang nagdiskarga ng mga laman ng basket. Nang inilalagay na niya ang basket sa mga kasama nito ay nahagip ng mata ko ang hawak niya sa kaniyang kaliwang kamay.
It's a book. I was able to caught glimpse of the cover page so I was able to know that it's a book of chords. Of what particular instrument, I am not sure. Bumalik ang atensyon ko sa cashier nang sabihin na niya ang kabuuan ng babayaran ko. I open my wallet but I was left immobile for a second when I only saw a lone violet bill.
Oh no. Because I insist on paying cash at the fast food earlier (because Mavin insisted on paying our meal even though I already said that it's my treat) I'm already out of it. I pulled a card out of the cardholder of my wallet. I was about to give it to the cashier when an arm suddenly appear, a black card between his fingers.
"Here, Miss. Pakisama nalang po nito."
Tinignan ko si Mavin, hindi na maitago ang pagkabigla. "Are you kidding me, Mavin Jaranillo?" I hissed under my breathe.
He widen his eyes in surprise. But when a smirk made its way through his lips, I know then that he won't back down. Naiiling ko nalang na ibinalik ang card sa wallet. Now I needed to pay him a thousand on top of the few hundreds I owe him before.
"Thank you," I mumble as I pick the paper bags off the counter. Pero bago ko pa makuha ang isa pa ay nakuha na ito ni Mavin. Dahil alam kong hindi niya ibibigay sa akin ang dala niya ay hindi na ako umalma pa.
"Let's head to the nearest ATM machine after we left the bookstore. I need to pay you for this things," I told him as we head to the baggage counter.
"Up to you, Akila," he said nonchalant.
Mabuti naman at hindi siya tumanggi. Gaya nga ng sinabi ko, pagkalabas namin ng bookstore ay naghanap kami ng malapit na ATM machine sa mall. Doon ay napadpad kami sa entance ng mall, sa kung saan nakahilera ang mga ATM machine ng mga iba't ibang banko.
Sinulyapan ko si Mavin na nakatayo isang metro ang layo mula sa machine bitbit ang dalawang malalaking paper bag. He seem to be surveying his surroundings. And I find it funny. If he's really surveying the surroundings, he must have notice the constant gazes directed at him by every passerby--mostly of girls.
Nawala ang atensyon ko sa kaniya nang marinig ang pagtunog ng machine. I pull out the few blue bills and waited for the receipt before walking towards him.
"Here," I hand him a two crisp blue bill. Sobra ito sa kabuuan kong babayaran pero kung idagdag ang naunang utang ko sa kaniya ay sasakto lang.
He eyed it and later on shrugged as he brought his eyes back to my face. "Can't. My hands are full."
Umawang ang labi ko. This guy... Huminga ako ng malalim. And without a second thought I shove the bills into one of his slacks' pockets. Ramdam ko na natigilan siya. Probably he didn't expect that I would do this.
"There," I said and took a step backward.
Tinignan niya ako sa nanlalaking mata, ang mga labi ay bahagyang nakaawang. "W-What was that, Akila?" he said, breathless.
Natigilan naman ako. Is it that bad?
Pinisil ko ang daliri at napangiwi. "Er, sorry, Mavin. I didn't mean to h-harass you."
I cleared my throat and look away. Pero nang marinig ang pagpapakawala niya ng malalim na hininga at pagsasabi ng, "No. It's fine. Nagulat lang ako." ay bumalik ang tingin ko sa kaniya. And he's looking at me.
So we stood there, in the corner with people passing by, staring at each other faces for the umpteenth time. But then it was interrupted when I felt my phone in my skirt's pocket vibrated.
Agad na kumabog ang puso ko nang makitang si Tita Emilia ang tumatawag. I immediately turn around from Mavin and answered the call.
"Tita," kinakabahan kong bungad. Inisiip na baka nasa paligid si Tita Emilia at nakita ako--kami.
"Where are you? Nakauwi ka na ba?"
Sinubukan kong kalmahin ang sarili nang matanto na kalmado naman ang boses niya. "Nasa mall pa po ako, Tita. Pauwi palang po..." Maybe Manang informed her.
Tinignan ko ang oras sa relo ko. I almost gasp when I saw that it's already quarter to eight. Hindi pa ako inaabot ng ganito kagabi sa labas!
"Na-stuck ako dito sa traffic sa bayan. Hintayin mo nalang ako sa harap ng mall. I'll pick you up."
I gulp. "Okay po."
Then she ended the call. Ilang segundo ko pang tinitigan ang cellphone ko bago ito itinago. Pumihit na ako at bumalik sa kinaroroonan ni Mavin. But when I saw his phone on his left ear, I slowed down and stop when I'm a meter away.
Pinanuod ko siya. His face is passive as he talk to the person on the other line. He also talk silently that even though I'm just standing a meter away from him, I can't make up the words coming out of his mouth. His mouth... Pinanuod ko ang bawat kibot ng labi niya.
Hindi ko namalayan na natulala ako rito kung hindi lang ko lang nakita ang multo ng isang ngiti. Kumunot ang noo ko bago umangat ang tingin. Napakurap ako nang makita siyang nakatingin na sa akin. Amusement is visible on his face.
Tumikhim ako at umakto na parang walang nangyari bago tinawid ang distansya namin.
"Pinapauwi ka na ba?" tanong ko sa kaniya. Afterall we're still Junior High School kids.
He clicked his tongue and look far behind me. "Kind of... I think I won't be able to see you board your ride this time," he brought his eyes back at me.
I shifted on my weight. "It's fine," I breathe. "Tita Emilia is coming for me... Hindi ako magko-commute ngayong gabi," sinamahan ko pa ng ngiti upang mapanatag siya.
Nanatili siyang nakadungaw sa akin. But when a beep was heard from a nearby vehicle, he take his eyes off me. I don't know if it's just my imagination, but he look annoyed for a second.
"I gotta go now, Akila."
I nodded. "Ingat ka, Mavin. Thank you for tonight."
He move his eyes back at me. Ibinuka niya ang bibig pero nang may muling bumisina ay itinikom niya ito. Iritado siyang bumuga ng hininga.
"I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, Akila."
Inabot niya sa akin ang dalang mga paper bag. Kinuha ko naman ito sa kamay niya sabay sabing, "Ayos lang."
As I watch him walk away, I realize that it wasn't my imagination. He's really annoyed. Nag-vibrate ang cellphone ko sa bulsa dahilan upang mawala ang tingin ko sa kaniya. I answered Tita Emilia's call and brought my eyes back at him, only to see his back as he enter a shiny gray car.