"People want to see you smile"
"Verses from an astronaut"
For those who love good morning.
Another day where you will face what man calls the world.
One more beautiful word to emphasize what we call
selfishness, we live in a world where people want you to smile
her motives. But you know what? Damn it, damn them. Live everything intensely, every second, every minute. For my time
friends ... don't stop, don't go back,
nor does it help, time just goes its way and never goes back. THE
all those who love good morning from their favorite astronaut.
Ps: I am beyond the stars writing to you.
The mood was pleasant that morning, I barely wanted to get out of bed and wake up to the sound of Frank Sinatra and his relentless desire to sing motivated me to write, and to help people like me, or like you Alice.
My cell phone rings and is the only person who knows me basically for what I am, not physically but as she describes "my talent that moves the world" my agent.
_Bom morning Cecile what do we have today?
_I just read your post and thought it was amazing.
I smile as I put the coffee in the cup and go back to the living room in a bathrobe.
_Thanks, it wasn't just why you called, was it?
_ No, people magazine wants to make a literary event for some of your fans and insisted that you show up.
At that moment I snorted, Cecile wanted to be my agent and I accepted but the only condition was that she or someone would never know who I am.
_You know I hate that, don't you? Be seen.
She also snorts
_I know Josh well but this time is different you can give a reason for people to believe, if they even see you.
My speech ceases at that moment, and I think, maybe it would be good if someone knew that I exist, even if I was masked.
_That's good Cecile, I will, but I have a condition.
It bursts with happiness on the other side.
_Ta good but what is the condition?
_ I want an astronaut helmet with a black plotting on the inside, and I will introduce myself like this.
I notice that his expression changes on the other side because his speech has changed.
_Ta Mysterious sir I will try.
_It was good to talk to you Cecile.
I hang up the phone without even waiting for a response from her on the other end.
📥 Message received📥
_Good morning, I think it's time for you to meet my literary crush.
_but already? So suddenly?
😆
_ You deserve it, and somehow you will identify yourself with him, I'm sure.
_Sou very demanding did you know? But come on, is there who your heart belongs to?
_Eu I don't know him well, in fact nobody knows he prefers it like that.
_Meio dangerous not?
_ On the contrary, it inspires me to be who I am today and who I want to be in the future.
_ He introduces himself as an astronaut
_ That's all I know.
_ I have all his books.
_ You need to read
_How about if we meet in the cafe in front of the campus?
_ Why not, if you say that he is all that I would love to meet him.
_ Okay, meet me in 20 minutes?
_ Of course, see you soon.
I really wanted to tell you who I am but things started to go wrong the moment you said you were in love, with me .... or worse with my fictional character, in a way I was happy but in another I knew that it was only making the alleged lies worse.
When I arrived at the cafe you were already waiting, you smile when you saw me and hugged me as if you have known me for a while.
_Sorry I'm late
_Without problems I ordered a coffee for us.
I sat across from you and next to it were all 6 books published supposedly by me.
_Here it is.
At that moment, I pretended not to know the book, but I wanted to talk to all 6 of you and all the inspirations about it.
_Permanent Memories of a Spouse.
You get excited about the title and then comment on it.
_Ah this one was first, man it is beautiful the way he describes what he felt, it seems that it is his life.
_And if it is?
You stop smiling and bite your lip in doubt.
_Like this ?
_And if each of these books is a piece of what he went through?
You are static and I know what's going on there, you wonder how you never thought about it before. _Eu Never thought of that before.
Right in the bull's-eye
_If you say he writes and details every feeling here, it means he felt it and went on to the role.
You open the book and add your favorite page.
_Read this part here.
You point to the exact mark on a square made with a green marker, again I pretend not to know those words.
Page 32
The universe is infinite, our lives are not.
The way you hide the truth from me only shows how much I dedicated my time, my efforts and believed that inside that piece of meat that pumps blood to your body, there was love, something that would give me meaning. But in reality it is just what keeps you alive. You blame it all on falling over me but I really was there when you needed it most, when you were sick I took care of you, and now you use reason to end my feelings. I hope you are happy with someone who makes you smile just like I did you, on that rainy day in Pittsburg. I'm sorry if I didn't say goodbye I'm just trying to rewrite a part of me that you tore up.
Ps: Besides the stars writing for you.
Clear. The beginning of it all, in fact I was unable to hide the memories so just after closing the book I was thoughtful for a while.
_And then ?
I turn my attention to you. _Realmente he knows what to write.
_Eu said, you need to read the others are incredible.
The truth Alice is that at that moment I was afraid to hurt you, at some point you would find out who I am and maybe it would be soon.
" The big day"
Verses of an astronaut
For all those who love good morning, today is a great day for me and of course for you who accompany me, today I will attend as promised at the People's literary event. Well, I hope you come and are happy, don't forget 8 at the palace hotel here in Seattle.
Ps: I'm beyond the stars writing to you.
The day hadn't even started and I was already nervous, anxious and scared all at the same time. It was to be expected, after all my phobia we were about to start, that's right. I have a phobia of crowded places so I didn't really like literary events and parties. The truth is Cecile had convinced me that people need to know that I existed in some way, so I faced it. At 7 in the morning a car came to pick me up, as I always put on an astronaut's helmet and I went in the direction of the hotel, as soon as the car touches the sidewalk thousands of people go to the car, that was too much for me, I needed to get down without anyone touching me.
_ Go around, let's go in the back please.
Cecile was not there to help me, so I basically had to act alone. The car stops in an alley and I go down through the service door and walk through the corridors until I reach my room.
_Ate what end you arrived, I was worried.
Cecile speaks as she adjusts my navy jacket.
_Acredite it would be easier if my agent was with me.
She snorts open the door and pushes me inside, then locks it with the key.
_I had to wrap Alice up, now she knows that I work for you is crazy to meet you.
I sit on the couch and take off my helmet. _This is crazy Cecile I shouldn't be here.
She sits next to me.
_How not? Look at all these people who came to see you, they deserve Josh.
_I know but, my phobia is attacking and I don't know if I can go there like that.
_No no no Josh you will not back off now, you got here and will do that. Not for you, not for me, but for them, now put on your helmet and let's go.
Toc toc
_Ah must be the editor of the magazine.
Cecile opens the door and a tall, dark-haired woman walks in with a big smile on her face.
_Cadê ele
I quickly put on the helmet before she can see me.
_You may come in
Cecile says in a somewhat sarcastic tone since she had entered even before being invited.
_Senhor Astronauta it is a pleasure to meet you at last.
_Please without formality just call me nauta.
She smiles as she greets me.
_Ah of course, and how are you? Comfortable ? Need something ?
_No I'm not well thank you.
_Excellent
She sits on a chair and starts to interview me with a notepad.
_ It is just a short story before the event.
She crosses her legs and begins her interview.
_Então how would you define this moment?
_Generally I am against public appearances, I do not like the world to be seen but I believe that these people deserve to know who I am and that I exist in some way.
She writes it down in her notebook.
_ Do you intend to one day show your face to the world?
I sighed at that moment, in my whole life I never imagined my face on magazine covers, in newspapers, books, I always had this phobia of people that hindered me a lot in my teens.
_ It is complex believe me, for me it is a great sacrifice to be here.
She is curious to know about it and something that should be just a short story becomes more and more intimate.
_Why ? Any phobia?
Sigh.
_Yea. As I said, I don't like to be seen and my readers respect that.
She gets up.
_Bom I think that's all your fans are waiting for you.
She opens the door and leaves the room.
_ Sorry about that.
Cecile, concerned with the questions, smiles weakly.
_Relax, it's time we will end this.
I get up the moment I speak, adjusting my navy blue blazer. After the fourth
I walk through the corridors to the hall where the event would be taking place.
_What song is that?
_Dancing aaron smith.
Says Cecile.
_By chance do they think I am some kind of literary prostitute? Don't you have something older?
_Don't be boring, they just don't know your musical taste.
We turn right and stop in front of a door.
_Remember if you are nervous take a deep breath, one answer at a time is okay?
Cecile besides being my agent took care of my well being, until recently she didn't know who I was personally but she knew about my fears and my tastes. The doors opened and everyone in the hall applauded my entrance, I went up some steps and sat in a chair facing everyone. Journalist, TV channels, readers, writers, so many people who were there for
me, and it was not 10% of the people who actually followed me, in the midst of so many people, someone stood out for the wide smile she was sitting staring at me, she kept her eyes shining all the time anxious to hear my voice and clarify all of her doubts. "The brilliant story of a novelist"
We have all felt it. These butterflies in the stomach, whether for someone or something. However, one day these butterflies disappear from inside you, and a big black hole appears, bringing a great sadness and the certainty that they, the butterflies will not return. That's how I thought, that's how I thought for years in fact, butterflies never existed.
_ Thank you for coming to the first question please?
I know you must be thinking, how does an insecure person with panic syndrome simply decide to end up at a press conference? The truth is that at that moment I became a simple fictional character. It wasn't me, not there.
_Lord astronaut, melissa from The New York times. We would like to know why this "Helmet" is the real reason?
And there was the first embarrassing question.
_Oh melissa. The truth of this helmet is that, in my view, people should not love faces but character. If I remove this mask you will start to love a simple man who puts on paper the truths that no one has the courage to speak.
Look at me lying to myself. The truth was much more painful than that and they didn't deserve to hear it. Not now.
_The next question?
_Senior astronaut? Mark Morales of Cnn. Does your character happen to be based on a dream of yours?
_Eu Never said he was a character. This is yours, showing the world that astronauts are always above us, always above our problems and that they are also novelists like us but more intensive in relation to the stars, we see only a glow they know every part of it. It is more an admiration than a dream.
_ The next question is selected.
And here she comes, the question that left me with unsteady legs, right from the person who managed to shake my emotional.
_Senior astronaut delight Alice a huge fan of her works, in the book posthumous memoirs of a spouse o
you told the story of a character called meow no katachi who suffered some abuse in childhood, could you detail this story for us?
At that moment, a lump in my throat appeared, I was sweating but I couldn't see it, my silence brought a real mystery on the part of the media and people, what I was thinking about, Cecile was looking at me with a "Don't stop now" look and I just thought about how to tell this story without wanting to run away.
_Ahn .... katachi was a character that brought a very big problem to the book because many people did not accept that story at all. Katachi was a young man with a considerable degree of autism, but a simple high school boy with a dream of studying human feelings. A cold person, who was unable to love, and one fine day he meets the bella who actually lived in an abusive family and was totally unfocused on life, he decides that she would be the perfect person to understand the feelings he didn't feel, and he ends up falling in love with her, the big question is how to explain passion to someone who never felt it? He goes down with her and meets his parents who actually hate him, one day he is invited by her family to a simple dinner, where in fact he was ....
Would they understand? It's like shouting at deaf people. Once again, my silence caused curiosity.
_You must be wondering why I didn't finish the katachi story in the book. The truth is that not everyone would understand and just because the character is autistic has generated a great repercussion. I'm sorry but the katachi story is not going to be finished.
And as I had already predicted, I got up amid the bustle of flashes and connected cameras, and left there as if that event was over. For me, yes, I entered the dressing room, locked the door, sat in the chair facing the mirror and started to analyze each part of this new character of mine. I was just a commercial doll, a doll where people buried their problems, but nobody wanted to know about mine.
TOC TOC
_Josh? It's Cecil ... Are you okay?
I never been. I know depressive moment but in fact that was the real Josh, it was the real me. Someone who served as consolation for many and entertainment for others.
I put on the headphones and turned the music on at full speed. And there I was in my universe, something created by me where no one could interrupt me.