Chereads / Verses of an astronaut / Chapter 7 - Open wounds are difficult to heal

Chapter 7 - Open wounds are difficult to heal

A great writer once said, don't let the stars in your universe fall. Because they are important, a starless sky is a rainy sky, a dark and lifeless sky, just a big black cloth that covers us. So when a star falls, use your request for new stars to appear. And so every day you will have a star shining in your sky. I hate myself for writing this, I hate myself for being so involved in people's lives and forgetting that I also have a sky losing stars. And that same sky made me realize how selfish I am, how much I hurt people who really needed help. That cold night of July 17th, I discovered the impact I had on people, the damage I did to them and how they ended their lives early, due to the den of selfishness that existed within me. Alice was showing me this from the beginning and I didn't want to see it, I only realized it when it was late. It's funny to think like that, it ends up giving a feeling to the phrase "People only value when they lose." And I lost someone, I lost perhaps the star that shone the most in that dark sky of mine. While the priest prayed that God would forgive her sins, I imagined every minute, every second that I had spent with her. All of that now would become papers and words, memories that would make a big change in me, once again.

_I'm sorry for your loss.

Cecile like everyone else was suffering more than me. Especially for losing one of her best friends but she had that strength, you know? You pretend it doesn't hurt but it hurts ... a lot. As if your heart is squeezing you, the pain you were forced to hide for the moment. I knew well what pain I felt when I received her letter, but when you get caught up in life over and over again you simply accept and push that pain into a chest that is already completely full. You just push it in the hope that it will be forgotten along with all your problems.

_Come here.

She laid her head on my shoulders and collapsed ... she just needed that, too bad she hadn't seen the letter that said "I made a wish from Cecile unintentionally she would be aunt." I know I blew your mind into a billion pieces ... It turns out that Alice didn't just want to apologize, she wanted to tell me that she was pregnant with a married man and needed me more than ever ... and look how funny I am was not there. I killed Alice and her baby.

Worse than burying someone is going back home and realizing that you will never see each other again. Look everywhere and know that you'll never hear a call, a message or even see her smile again, there was only one thing left.

Verses of an astronaut

For all those who love good night ... what a night, right? I know I'm gone for a while but even we need a break to breathe and organize the mess that is our life. I owe you an apology for the event, I know you wanted to meet me but the truth is that even I don't know myself. And the more I find out who I am the more I hate myself for it, I lost someone I love. I lost the betegelse of my immense dark sky. To be honest with you, I came to say goodbye to you, maybe this is my last message so keep what I am going to say, because this is the most valuable lesson that you will read. "Never allow a star in your universe to fall, the consequences can be catastrophic. And if one of them falls, use your desire for a new one to be born much brighter." You were the reason for all my stars, all my dreams, but everything has an end. And it's time to say goodbye. From your favorite astronaut.

In addition to the stars writing for all those they love. 🌏🔭

That was my last message, my last advice.

Toc toc

Cecile knocked on the door entering at the same time. It looked a little better but it just seemed, she stopped at the door to the living room, put both hands in the pockets of the black coat she was wearing, and stared at the physical shape of a destroyed man lying on his sofa holding an empty bottle.

_ You can not do that...

I didn't care about anything anymore. I was looking at the ceiling of the room with my mind completely tired, I couldn't think of anything. Nor how to organize my life.

_Anda get up

She said that approaching and pulling my left arm so that I sat on the couch. She sat next to me and snorted, now we were two beings sitting on a gray sofa staring at the ceiling.

_ You can't give up like that ... not now.

I remained silent.

_Tem people out there needing you.

I smiled in a corner being sarcastic once again.

_Poor poor people .... if they knew who I really am ....

She looked at me and frowned. I didn't understand what I was talking about obviously.

_What happened Josh? She was fine ... smiling. And suddenly .....

_ It was not suddenly .... it is never suddenly, there is always some initial reason and in her case .... She had that beautiful smile, that dimples in the bouche but that look in her ... you know Cecile we know someone just by appearance but want to know how someone is really feeling? Look deep into her eyes and you will know ... we hide everything but sadness is always in the eye ... like a trademark. It's like shouting at everyone and no one hears, it's like asking for help and not finding it. It hurts, it hurts but you need to continue.

I got up from the couch and took the letter on the coffee table and threw it on her lap.

_Now that there .... is the reason I gave up on me and people ... The world is not bad Cecile but unfortunately we are the disease of this world.

As I went up to my room she read her friend's last letter, the letters were stained not with blood but with tears, you know when you write a letter and your whole life is summed up in it? That was Alice's last cry for help.

Handing Joshua Reads Feu

Hi Josh, you must hate me even more for this, but don't get me wrong I'm writing so that once and for all you understand who I really am. It all started on my 17-year-old escape from my parents' house, I was not a rebellious girl but when you are abused in adolescence and no one believes in you the only option is to run away or take your own life. Until then, dying was not an option, I was young, I wanted to know many things and make my dreams come true and I managed ... or at least tried. The truth is that I am still that scared 17 year old girl in a city like New York where everyone is intense 24 hours a day and everyone is crazy to make their dreams come true. You know, Josh the last time we met you gave me the key to all my problems, I didn't forgive myself for what happened to me, in fact I always blamed myself for everything. Because my mother got beaten up so much, because she couldn't help my family. But I am proud of who I became ... a friend, a person and luckily a better mother. Yes Josh I am pregnant and unfortunately my son cannot be raised by a man who is already married, I went to Alef's house that night, said he was pregnant and he got angry ... told me to take "this thing" as he says. And that is what I did, I could not bear to live with a child alone in this world, I would feel alone in part because even you would not look at me with the same admiration eyes that you had. I hope you will forgive me and know that of all the people I could love if the only truth is you ... I thank you for everything.