Laith passes through the curtains lacking his smile. His eyes are dead. He looks aged. The deaths must be the cause.
Did anyone else die? Just who else got taken away from us on this mission.
Laith perches on the end of my bed without a word and with baited breath I wait. Its my fault Lin and Wendy died I know that but having Laith confirm it will drive the nail in my coffin. I grip my sheets and grimace as the silence bears down.
Peter is too waiting but his eyes are fixed on me as if he expects me to talk first.
'Erza Im glad your alive. You gave us a scare when we found you on the ground like that, given another moment Collings would of got you.' Laith states. His gold eyes full of anguish as he talks and only then do I notice bruises littered on his face. He looks like he fought hard.
Laith eyes meet mine as he waits for my response and I clear my throat.
'Im sorry for the scare. I wanted to buy time for the truck to get away as Collings was on our tail.'
Laith looks to the ground before responding.
'That was a brave thing to do Erza. You learnt from your Captain Wendy quickly. Even Lin who wasnt a soldier stood tall. Though I cant say I'm surprised'. Laith's voice thickens until he chokes on the last statement.
Laith slumps forward and rests his head in his hands and his body shakes. The heavy feeling of guilt builds in me and as tears prick my eyes I cant help myself.
'Its my fault Laith. Its my fault that Lin got out of that truck. I went to the isolation cells to find Peter and the others, I insisted Varian go without me so Lin decided to back me up.' I clutch my chest as grief takes over.
I feel a breeze surround me before a hand pulls me into a hug and I cant help but sob harder.
Laith grabs my hand.
'You listen to me Erza. Lin was a brilliant and brave woman. If she got out its because she cared enough to help you. That was her nature.'
I meet Laith's gold eyes which are glassy with tears.
I turn to my left and look up at Peter whose gaze is full of regret. He must be exhausted of all this, grief, fighting even my weaknesses.
I attempt to wriggle out of Peter's grasp but he holds me firm and I continue to cry.
'I saw her before I woke up. She mentioned you and Katie. Good god Katie doesnt have a mum Laith. She wont ever see her again.' Howls of agony flood out of me.
Laith pulls his hand away and closes his eyes tightly. He looks broken.
'She always did believe in life after death.' Laith chuckles wetly.
'She made me promise to survive and finish what we started Laith.' I scrub my face with my hospital gown.
Laith does the same and sniffs.
'Then thats what we will do Erza. We will train. We will get stronger. We will win.' Peter determines.
I meet Peter emerald eyes which are fierce with intent. Despite myself I smile. He never changes.
'Your friend is right Erza that is exactly what we will do. For Lin. For Wendy. For everyone Collings hurt now and then.' Laith declares. His eyes full of anguish are now animated and instead of the haggard man who walked in the room he looks more like himself.
'The names Peter by the way.' Peter offers his hand and Laith takes it with a brisk shake.
'Welcome to sanctuary Peter soon as your able we work out your role here.'
Peter nods before answering. 'Sounds good.'
Laith stands and walks to the curtain clearly wishing to escape the awkward atmosphere.
'Oh yeah Erza? Make sure you check on Will and Varian they were worried sick about you.' Laith gives me a pointedly look and his eyebrows raise.That wasnt a request it was an order. Laith pushes through the curtains leaving me and Peter alone.
The silence is heavy between us and I think hard to fill it with something yet nothing comes.
'Uriel is on this ward. You want me to take you?'
Uriel? Shit I didnt think where she could be. I swing my legs off the bed in a blip only to take one step and crash to the floor. Burning sears down my side and leg. I groan aloud.
'Christ Erza I offered to take you for a reason.'Peter pulls me up with his good arm and I hop alongside him.
The ward is hushed as we travel down and every eye is on us. A self consciousness comes over me and my chest tightens. Anxiety crawls through me devouring any excitement I had to see Uriel. My breathing quickens. I have to see Uriel. After I left her to this fate she now has.
What do I say? How can I apologise? Will we ever recover from this? I just dont know.
At the end of the ward Peter stops.
'Listen she may be on heavy painkillers as she used to wake up screaming from the pain. So anything she says dont take it to heart.' Peter body is tense which proves he is as nervous as I am right now.
Peter pulls back the curtains and we go in.
Uriel is against her pillow. Her brown skin looks pale and her lips purple. She looks a shell of what she was. Uriel's fuchsia coloured hair looks faded against the pillow as if the bright colour had been sucked out.
Dear god Uriel. What the hell did they do to you.
'Uriel. I have someone here to see you.' Peter calls as he places me on a chair near the bed whereas he himself stays standing.
Uriel's lids flutter before opening to reveal her once bright blue eyes now dull.
Uriel's eyes roam round the room slowly until they land on me. Her eyes fill with recognition before turning steely.
'Well look who it is. Erza herself. You look almost as bad as me.' Uriel giggles.
One thing to know about Uriel. She is bubbly on the outside but within, cold as ice.
'Hey Uriel. Long time no see.' I respond lamely.
I scratch my wrists for release. The intensity of the interaction causes me to fidget.
'Bet your glad you got away when you did right? Now you've seen what they started to do to us girls.' Uriel smiles but once again her eyes are analytical. She is watching my every move.
'I shouldnt of got away in the first place.' I utter barely wanting to admit what I knew all along.
Peter's head perks up at my comment but his expression is guarded. I am no longer privy to his inner thoughts.
'Ahh well you could say that. But would we be out now if you hadnt?' Uriel pulls herself up slowly and tilts her head mockingly.
'Laith would of broke you guys out with or without me. I just agreed to help him.' My scratching intensifies.
Uriel fiddles with her wrapping each coil around her finger.
'Oh? The great purple predator not taking ownership of her actions? Just what happened to you in the world.' Uriel raises her eyebrows.
I meet Uriel's eyes and we clash as always. My gold and her blue always opponents in conflict.
'Im not the purple predator anymore. I met people who made me be better than that girl I was.' My voice reaches a new volume.
Uriel says nothing for a few minutes as her eyes wonder over me.
'You may think you've changed but make sure you dont leave these new friends of yours for dead too or shit like what they did to me can happen.' Each words leaves her mouth like bullets all aiming for me.
I bristle at her words and stand. I stand over Uriel and her eyes are full of humour.
'I will die before that happens.' My voice hardens into stone. The searing pain returns but I ignore it right now I am proving something. Peter flinches at my words
Uriel blinks in surprise. 'Oh really? Well that would be a first from you Erza.' Uriel voice is light but with an under current of sorrow as she speaks.
Guilt claws at my chest. Regrets pound my head. Frustration boils in my palms.
'It may be the first Uriel but it wont be the last. I will never stop.' I meet her eyes.
Uriel hugs her abdomen and tears dribble down her cheeks.
Peter sits on the bed and clasps her hand.
I turn and leave.
There are things I am no longer part of because of my decision that day, but I knew that already. All I have left now is moving forward.