"This takes me back."
"What does?"
After our long hug, the sunset streams in through my window and dyes my room a bright orange. Those words slip out of my mouth, as Rin looks at me with curiosity.
"You know, when we were in our second year of middle school."
"Ahh."
Rin nods in agreement as if she realizes too.
"Yeah, I remember that now too."
Her clear pupils narrow a bit, as if she is reminiscing on those times. Her expression is full of love and kindness. I can't stop myself from stroking her head.
"Hmm, is something wrong?"
"It's nothing..."
I mean, it's because I love her, but I can't say that.
"It's nice remembering a time when you weren't so thorny all the time."
"Fine, I'll return to that, you masochistic pervert."
"Woah, you transformed instantly."
"But you're happy about that, no?"
"I mean... I'd like to say I'm happy about that, but that'd make me look like a masochist. But then again, I don't want to lie and say that it doesn't make me happy so..."
"Why are you making up excuses? Just admit it already."
Her tone of voice is a lot less harsh than usual.
"I mean, it's kind of sad when I can imagine you on your knees saying 'Please abuse me' in such a loud cocky voice."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KILL THAT IMAGE WITH FIRE!!!!!!!"
I collapse on the bed, writhing in pain, as Rin looks at me with disgust.
"That's gross."
Contrary to what she is saying, Rin has an impish smile on her face.
"But you know..."
Rin hides her mouth with her hand.
"It makes me happy."
Rin takes away her hand from her face and reveals such a happy expression. That smile I would see once in a while, it's like the sunlight streaming through the trees. Before I know it, I gulp and I slowly get up. I let out some incoherent noises as I try to find the words to speak.
"Not gonna lie, we were a bit awkward recently, like there was a weird mood between us."
I scratch the back of my head as I continue.
"That's why being able to hang out and eat with you again is a lot of fun. Well, it's a bit hard to say but..."
It might be hard to say, but what I want to say was simple.
"I'm also happy as well."
That sums up everything, however, I can feel my face getting all hot. Hugging her, stroking her head, saying these kind words, I'm completely drained. My head needs some healing therapy, so I look over at Rin. She gives me a smile as wide as a syrup sponge cake.
"You look more happy than me."
"Well, I could say the same thing."
Rin rests her head on my shoulder as she snuggles up close to me.
"Tohru-kun."
"Yeah?"
"Can I... use your lap for a while?"
Her proposal catches me off guard.
"Yeah, that's fine. You're gonna sleep?"
"For a bit."
"What, have you been staying up late too?"
"Ahh... umm, well..."
Rin's eyes start to dart around. She's so easy to read.
"Don't tell me you were out partying."
"What, no way. Why are your disgusting comments coming back all of a sudden? It's gross."
"And your sharp tongue is back!"
"Well... it's nothing big, but... you know, I saw some interesting shows on Amazon Prime... and like, I ended up staying late to watch them."
That's a lie, I knew that in an instant. Her eyes are shaking to and fro, it just gives it away.
"After... I just felt really exhausted."
Well, that part is true. While my physical and mental states are quickly deteriorating, I decide to make a proposal because it brings me peace of mind. With renewed vigor, I straighten out my back and tap my knees.
"Well, you can use my lap if you want."
"What the hell are you even saying?"
Rin puts her hand against her mouth as she laughs.
"Alright, I'll take you up on that offer."
Although she seems a little tense, Rin throws her body onto my lap, as she surrenders herself to me. The scent of flowers finds its way into my nose and Rin's body heat is much more prominent than I imagined. My whole body feels strange as I feel myself tense up. On the other hand, Rin opens her mouth, her voice sounding like a dissatisfied customer.
"Your lap is a lot more tough than I thought it would be."
"A guy's lap isn't as soft as Wagyu beef, you know."
"How about a bull's horn?"
"We're talking about the meat, not the bone here."
"But you know..."
Like if she's snuggled up against a large dog's stomach, Rin buries her cheek into my thigh.
"It's so warm..."
She slowly closes her eyes while her face looks full of relief. She's like a little kid, acting so innocent, that I find myself reaching for her long black hair.
"Just because it looks like I'm sleeping, doesn't mean you can sexually harass me, you know."
"I-I wasn't doing that."
I draw my hand away hastily, like I'm some cat getting scolded by its owner for trying to catch one of the pet fish.
"Don't worry, I'm just joking."
She lets out a small laugh as she says that.
"Tohru-kun isn't someone to assault someone in their sleep, that knowledge comes from years of experience."
"It's like you know every facet of me or something."
"Well..."
Even with her eyes closed, Rin's lips curve into a small smile.
"I'm your childhood friend after all."
After saying that, Rin starts breathing as if she's asleep. She's as defenseless as a baby, as her lips start to loosen up. But the fact that she fell asleep so fast must mean she's really tired.
"Sorry..."
I say that quietly, in order to not wake her up. I make an vow to never overwork myself again. My head is finally able to have time to process everything...
And a question pops into my head, a question that has been toiling inside of me for a while now.
Why the hell is Rin closing the distance between so quickly all of a sudden? I mean, I love Rin and I'm sure Rin loves me back, so it probably makes sense that Rin started acting more assertive. But what made her start all of this to begin with? I've known Rin for so long that I know her behaviour won't change so quickly on a whim. There has to be some sort of trigger, and that trigger is probably related to me somehow.
My initial thought tells me that there's no basis to this, so I think back again. I'm pretty sure it started when Rin proposed to make a bento for me that day. Ever since that day, she's been acting different. Okay, but why would she propose the bento in the first place? Everything after the bento makes sense, the movie date, going out for lunch, hugging her, sleeping on her lap etc. All of that was Rin's ideas.
Something definitely is up with that, but I can't place what it is. I think back to the days before that happened, but I'm not sure if anything will come up that could have elicit any change. Oh yeah, speaking of change...
I remember checking the Syosetu ranking boards and all the top stories were Childhood Revenge stories. In a blind rage, I sent some angry tweets, including a reply to Nira-san. I was really down about that. But that's not related to Rin anyw-
"Wait..."
I start to feel the neurons firing like crazy in my brain. I put my hand on my head so the thought wouldn't disappear from my mind, but the sensation disappeared as fast as it came.
"What was that...?"
"Hmm..."
Rin's stirring around in her sleep, her head moving about. I freeze up immediately, not letting my body move even one millimeter. It would be bad if she woke up now. After a minute, I start to relax again and think back on that. But my brain's all tired and I can't process anything anymore.
I keep thinking about it until Rin wakes, but in the end, I still don't understand anything.