Running down the trail is a way to try to set his feelings straight even though it brings back P A I N F U L memories. The singing of the birds itself gives him mixed emotions. Does he want them to be quite? Does he want pure silence? Or does he want to hear a beautiful song sang by a being who can fly higher than any human?
The crunching of the leaves at his foot are satisfying. Something so fragile breaking with such a loud noise. Contrary to the green leaves he steps on at times, which don't make noise whatsoever. The small river flowing for what seems to be an endless distance. Eroding the ground it flows in but giving life to all living things in the forest.
These thoughts flowed through and around his mind without an actual destination. They seemed to be full of meaning yet they were empty thoughts and changed nothing of his current situation. Why even talk about his feelings and thoughts with anyone but himself. "To let it out." He's heard this sentence one too many times. "To let it out." And then what. They can't change the situation at all. "To let it out." Why? So he can be more vulnerable? "To let it out." Will it bring him back ? No amount of dialogue will change this situation he's been stuck in for a year.
He steps on cement once again. Solid ground. Doesn't make him feel secure though. It's a Sunday morning around 7 A.M. so not many people around are which is to be expected. Most are still recovering from their nights out of F U N while Miles was just in bed as always. Reminiscing of his past. H A T I N G his present. And wishing for no tomorrow. He walks into his house after a couple minutes of walking. As always, he shows up unannounced in his house. Well it makes sense, his mom could be asleep still, it's her day off after all so she should rest for a bit more.
But he couldn't hide from his mother. She pops out from her room.
Sofia: "GOODMORNINGHONEY!"
Says his mom with a huge and warm smile. But to Miles it's still visible. A small amount of negative feelings behind her curtain.
Miles: "——"
Sofia: "Awww c'mon, give me at least a smile Honey"
Miles: "Mom, please stop. You know it's bothersome to me and you don't have to act like you're interested in me. Drop it already"
Sofia in an instant vanishes her smile and replaces it with a frown as easy as if she was Mr.Potato Head.
Sofia: "Hey, I'm your mother, or did you forget that? Of course I don't have to act interested. Because I genuinely am, so i have nothing to drop."
Miles: "——"
Miles: "Is there anything you need to tell me?"
Says miles in a strong deep tone of voice showing his disinterest.
Sofia: "Ugh, fine."
She says pouting, but unaffected by her son's disinterest.
Sofia: "Listen, about your gra-"
Miles: "I'm gonna take a shower."
Sofia: "HEY! Bad manners to cut ur own mom off like that, c'mon now."
Miles: "I already told you, you have nothing to worry about. I'll bring them up when I feel like it."
He says calmly walking away towards his bedroom to get a change of clothes.
Sofia: "Well, when is 'when I feel like it'? You have to get them back up. You said that last time and they have not changed at all. You used to have the best grades all the time."
Miles: "I used to have the best grades and thats just proof that i can bring them back up"
Miles was a smart kid. Never failed any class and was a straight A student. Kind and warm-hearted with everyone he talked to and knew. But ever since that day things changed.
He just didn't find it in himself to act like that anymore. He thought: Why should I give to the world when it took my world away? And the thought process wasn't all that wrong. If karma is real then it means it all balances out and all deeds get payed back equally. Naturally, If the world gives to Miles, he gives back to the world, if the world takes someone away from him, he takes away someone from the world, that being him.
Continuing with the desperate mother who was losing hope slowly and the son who strayed further away everyday-
Sofia: "You are running out of time young man. You've never had to bring up grades, so you don't known how hard it will be to get them back up."
Miles: "If all those retards at school can do it, I can too, simple." He says in a cold calm tone with zero remorse to what he said and showed.
Sofia: "DON'T TALK ABOUT THEM LIKE THAT" she says strongly. "Why are u saying that with such P R I D E and talking down on them so easily? There are many who were once your friends there."
Miles: "——" and under his breath "once."
Sofia: "I can't tell you how saddening it is to see you reject all help and still look down on others. I never raised you to do this..."
Miles: "Well that's because there's only half raising me right now." He said once again coldly.
It breaks her for the day. A subject he knew would make her be quite because she had no choice but to keep quite. He used it like a banned weapon in war, completely against the morals of the average person with no remorse.
She's genuinely concerned about him. She gave up on talking to him for the moment since she knew he would just ignore her. It's a routine at this point.
And in his mind: Why smile and act like its all fine? Her showing kindness doesn't change anything. She just keeps trying to force her smile on me.
And why would he accept it ? What good will it do to play a game of 3 with 2? Why act like everything is fine if it isn't? Isn't that pure cowardice?
What the hell is wrong with her? Has it not gotten through to her ? I don't wanna act like that. Stop being kind to me, I never asked for this at all, not once and not ever. So why should i accept a gift I don't want. Damn it, its so frustrating. I just wanna close my eyes and be alright, be at peace forget about it all... He thought as he ignored her and went to take a shower.
He goes into his cave finally, the place where he doesn't let even sunlight breach. He hasn't even eaten yet. Most likely, he'll pass out for a bit then get up for something once the hunger annoys him. But as he laid down in bed and put up his feet, he saw something completely out of the ordinary.
Locked onto his ankle was a chain, like that of a prisoner. What the fuck is this??? he thought as he tried to touch the chain but his hand phased through it yet he could hear the chain when he moved his foot. The chain appeared out of nowhere. It was tight on his skin and he could feel it and its weight yet couldn't touch it when he tried.
All he could think were questions: What is this?
Why is there a chain on my ankle? Who put it there? Why on me? When? Why can't I touch it? Is this a joke ?? WHAT THE FUCK???