"So... Your God created others like you, before creating you... Well, this is confusing." He ran his fingers through his hair, and stood up, walking away from me.
"Not like us... They were much more different, and not in a good way." I wasn't really convinced of what I was saying to him. I remembered the time I first learned about them, how I felt fascination blended with repulsion while reading their history, their struggles, and I wondered if they were as wrong as they were depicted in the books if they truly deserved the punishment they got. I also wondered why God gave us permission to flick through those pages, and question His judgment, because I know I did at that time. Maybe it was because of her.
"What is this legend exactly about? What happened to them? Where are they now?" He was becoming anxious, wanting to extinguish the thirst of his curiosity with answers from me. Answers that I didn't want to give, nor was I allowed to.
"It is forbidden to talk about this, even more so when the questions come from a night-walker."
He didn't seem surprised at what I said, probably because he was already expecting things not to go smoothly, though, much to my dismay, he wasn't willing to let it go so easily, having prepared his plan B, which was clearly effortless and somewhat satisfying for him. A smirk crossed his face, as he crossed his arms, and looked at me in a mischievous way.
"If you don't tell me, just imagine how many angels I will have to torture and kill to find out all the details that I want. It would be such a loss for you kind."
He could hardly contain his laughter while speaking those cruel words, while I felt my blood boiling in my veins, knowing that I can't touch him until this whole mess is cleared up, or until I reach an agreement with the elders, though little to no chances for that. Must control me. Keep calm, stable.
"You dare to threaten me?"
The night-walker put his hands in the air, taking an "I don't know what you expect from me" position, raising and lowering his shoulders, without giving me an immediate response. After seeing my angered expression, he seemed to take a friendlier approach, since the atmosphere between us became quite heavy from the arrows that we were shooting with our eyes.
"Take it as a... Premonition. You know, we have a lot of senses", replied in a playful mode.
I was pretty much sure that this wasn't a joke right now, he is and he would be capable of doing terrible things to my people just for the sake of finding what he's seeking, he definitely has no problem doing it for fun. And even if I'd tell him about the ancients, they are long gone, nobody knows what happened to them or if they are still alive. What hurt could cause talking on this matter, listing a few ideas, when my silence is deadlier?
"I don't know how much of it is true, but... The legends say that the ancients were a group of ten angels - more precise, the first creation of God, even before earth, even before the Universe itself - and each of them was granted with three pairs of wings. They had immense power, greater than we ever had or imagined, not as human-like as us in appearance, but in terms of character, the same as humans. I think you can guess that their emotions were more developed than ours, they would feel everything so deep... And this is what brought their end."
I made a long pause to release a sight and closed my eyes for a moment to rest them, as they were still sensitive from the poison that I had in my body, and on top of that, the hectic lights in the room, that were generated by the torches, were doing no favor to me.
Surprisingly, he let me enjoy my short break, without commenting on any mean words or rushing me into telling him everything I know, waiting quietly, but tense, like a spoiled child who already knows that he will get his precious toy no matter what. I bit my lower lip, trying to find my words, and the story came back to life. "Now imagine a being with the power to create and destroy worlds, controlled by its emotions: greed, anger, hate, selfishness, love - nothing good can result from that. And nothing good resulted."
"If they were like that... Why did your God create them?"
"I don't know... This is not a question that I can answer. Aren't you smart enough to deduct that God doesn't have to explain to anyone the things He does?"
"Of course..." He bowed to me - "I forgot that you weren't made to question anything in life, a perfect little creature with no personality."
"What..."
"Shhh, you aren't used to thinking. We wouldn't want you to over-stress yourself." The night-walker put his index finger at his lips, and chuckled, leaving me at a crossroad of my thoughts, where all the paths would lead to me killing him. It would be such a sweet, fine ending to my misery, though I can find consolation solely in fantasy. Control. I really must control myself, even though he deliberately keeps pushing all the wrong buttons, only him knowing what for. Hard to believe that he and Ennyel don't share the same maker. "By the look on your face, you don't have any sense of humor, do you?"
"I'm done playing games with you."
I got up and proceeded to walk in a hurry towards the exit, without getting too agitated, while he didn't seem bothered by my actions since he didn't make any effort to retain me - he appeared to be rather bored and done with it. Good. I don't have to deal with his attitude anymore, nor stand another minute in his unfortunate company.
Or so I hoped.
As soon as I passed him by, he grabbed my arm and stopped me, though he didn't say anything. Without losing the hold, he pulled me closer to him, and I, fed up with all his bullshit, clenched my left fist and hit him as hard as I could, striking him right in the jaw. From the powerful, unexpected impact, he took three steps behind, avoiding the fall by pressing his hand against the cold stone of the wall. Even I took a step back since the hit came out of nowhere even for me - I simply didn't think it, it was more of a reflex to his attempt to pull me back into his game, rather than a gesture of war.
Unfortunately, I was the only one seeing it as an innocent action.
He was taken aback at first, not expecting something to challenge his inner alpha, but it didn't take long for him to get back to his origins and retaliate, revealing in the dark corner his burning red eyes, sparkling like the torches in the night. The beast that I had in front of me, plunged towards me, grabbing my neck while spinning me around and pinning me to the wall.
He snarled at me, to reclaim his place as the superior creature in the room, though I can't say I felt fear or worry. I wasn't naive to believe that he kept me alive until now, just so he could kill me later - He needed me too much to bring me any harm.
"I am under the impression that there's a lot more to the story than what you've told me. Care to share the rest of it?" He spoke in a gentle, yet threatening voice. I was so close to him, face to face, that I could feel his breath smelling like rotten meat, and could admire his canines shinning with a desire to bite through flesh - Mine or of others.
"After I tell you what you want to hear, you let me go."
"Seems fair." The red glow in his eyes disappeared, returning to the bright blue that I first saw, while his mouth curved into a wide, wicked grin.
His hand softened, and slipped along my skin until he retreated it. I instantly coughed, filling my lungs with the air that I've been deprived of while his fingers were crushing my neck bones, and I took my hand to my throat, still feeling the pressure he applied. He moved further away from me, though he didn't sit down or anything, giving me some space to catch my breath, and possibly so he could regain his calm, that he obviously lost.
"I am listening."
"It was love which ended their reign as celestial creatures", I spoke once my weakened state shown signs of improvement. "The angels were close one to another, but two of them grew even closer. until love became more than brotherly love, and they fell in love, even though God forbade them. That was the one rule they had to follow: Never fall in love."
"Why's that? Why would there be such a rule? Aren't you, angels, all about love and compassion?"
"Not that kind of love. We are angels, not humans. We are permitted to love, but falling in love? It is dangerous, because it comes with greed, tragedy, passions, and desires, and it eventually consumes you; all these emotions take control of you and you stop thinking with your mind because your heart is much stronger. And when we listen to our hearts, chaos follows. Look what humans do for and in the name of love, how they tarnish it, and how they hurt each other over it. God must not have wanted this for us."
"I'll keep my opinions to myself... For the time being. What happened with the two lovebirds?"
"The two of them tried to oppose their feelings, but instead of distancing themselves from that flame, each day they would fall deeper and deeper in love until they couldn't contain it anymore. One day, they went before God, and made their confession, hoping that he will show mercy and allow them to live their love. But He didn't.
They didn't listen and decided that they won't get punished if they follow their hearts, because God loved them too much, and they were His children. Again, they were wrong. He asked for them, to come and face him, and He asked them one more time to give up on this idea of theirs, but they refused, so Father trapped them in two separate worlds, destroying all their chances to be together ever again. But their love was so strong, that even though they couldn't see each other, their hearts would feel one another. That was until one of those hearts stopped beating."
While relating the tale of our ancestors, my mind began to take a walk down memory lane, recollecting memories since before time, from when our life wasn't as complicated as now, and we didn't have to fear death, for she would not come after us. Memories made before I condemned them all to exile.
*Before the fall*
"What are you reading?" Her long, thin fingers crept over the edge of the book, and she slowly pushed it down, until she could see my face, and me, her bright smile and emerald green eyes.
"About the ancients. I heard the others talking about them a few times, but I didn't get the chance to learn much. But now, I was in the library and I accidentally knocked this book down. I took it as a sign that I should read it." I smiled back and closed the book, putting it back on the shelf.
"Do you think they were real? Is it even possible to have such an unfathomable love for someone, that you'd rather choose to turn your back on Father, than letting that person go? And how could they?" She asked, obviously hurt by the simple thought of betrayal. Everything that doesn't fit our beliefs and rules, is wrong. Or so we've been thought. We balance for the Universe, though in a sad, truthful way, there is no balance in us, since the only weight that there is, in order and perfect behavior.
There's no need and place for lies. The feeling of guilt was gravitating around me, like the moons around the earth, when the love for my Father kept colliding with ideas and questions that I shouldn't have, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was the only one who sees that there is more to life than we get.
"I think freedom means nothing, when the only thing you want, it's the only thing you can't have. What pleasure could your freedom bring, if your heart is in chains?"
She put her hand on my shoulder, and I noticed the glitter of lights in the tears from her eyes.
"Don't give power to your thoughts, Shiray. It is dangerous the ground that you are stepping on."
**After the fall**
I couldn't imagine at that time the horrors that will be descended upon this world if I'd pursue my ideas.
I exhaled, and continued the story, shaking off the bad feeling that was haunting me. Though the weight of her ghost was something that I could never get rid of.
"The girl's heartbreak was too much to endure so she took her own life, and when an angel decides that he had enough and ends his life, nobody has the power to revive him anymore, not even God, so any plea was for nothing. Driven by the grief and the madness that followed her death, the other angel started a rebellion. The others responded to his call because she was dear to them all, the ties of affection that bound them were hard to sever. Their hearts, filled with betrayal and disappointment, were darkened by hate and agony, and they appeared before Him with the intention of murder. But how could you kill your maker?
Foolish angels, who took too much pride in their strength. God truly loved them, so He couldn't do anything else than to spare them, but as punishment, they were put in prison, from where they could never escape. Days and nights, for thousands of years, trapped with solely their longing for vengeance, feeding on the thought that someday they will have their victory over Heaven - Their madness only grew, until they, themselves, became deformed by it, not only their minds. What good could you find in their salvation, if there is none for their souls?"
"So where do we find them?"
"Didn't you listen to what I've said? Whatever they are now, they are worse than your kind! If there is one thing they could help you with, that is bringing the end to this Universe, and to both our species."
"What's there to lose, besides the spectacular chance of killing each other on the battlefield?" He smiled at me, leaning forward while slipping his hands into his pockets.
"I..."
"Be quiet", he said out of nowhere, showing, without doubt, signs of anxiousness. He stood still for a second, then turned his head in the direction of the exit, frowning. "Another night-walker. You need to go now. If I sense him, he probably sensed you too, and trust me when I say that he's not happy about it. Go back to the cave with the lake, and escape through there. I'll keep him company." He wanted to get ahead so he could win some time for me, but after just two steps, he stopped and pointed to the bed, telling me:
"Your sword - It's under the bed. Take it and leave. And, oh... I look forward to our next meeting, little angel." He gave me one last smile, and left in a hurry, leaving me behind.
I didn't wait for the confirmation of what he just told me - Just as agitated as he was, I knelt and extended my arm under the bed, to draw from there the other part of my soul, uncovering the blood that dried on the blade, which was hidden in a white sheet. The sword recognized my energy, and its markings shimmered to let me know that she is ready for me to use her if that is what I want. But this was not a fight that I was willing to join. Not when treachery was waiting for me at home.