SOUL AND SPIRIT FLY
'Love is not about how many days, weeks or months you've been together.
It's all about how much you love each other every day.'
Time seems to fly! Sartaj and I am flying on the wings of love.
After Sammy's engagement, Mumma gets busy in my wedding shopping. She seems happier after my brother's engagement as my Bhabhi (sister-in-law) talks to Mumma daily. Mumma will get a new company after my marriage. Would she forget me? It's not that I am not happy with this friendly alliance between mother and daughter-in-law. I just feel possessive as I am the youngest child and pampered daughter of my Mumma. After Sania's marriage, I am the only one whom Mumma asks everything. I am a world to her (I think so) We take every decision together but now I've noticed Mumma saying that she'll not have to disturb me for every little thing as she'll get Savvy, her third daughter who takes all the responsibilities after coming to HER house. 'Samaira, you should be happy that there will be someone after you to take care of your Mumma.'
'Would I get the same affection from my mother-in-law? of course', I assure myself.
Sartaj loves me a lot, his mother also meets me occasionally and brings gifts for me. But there is something which makes me worried. 'Don't be so negative, Sartaj loves me, matters only!' I reassured myself. My would-be mother-in-law telephones me but I feel some bitterness in her tone.
'Heart doesn't know what doubt is, heart doesn't know what believe is- heart simply knows trust.'
Mumma's voice breaks my train of thoughts, "What is my angel thinking?" She hugs me and makes me cry as tears were waiting to come out of my big eyes. "I'll miss you, Mumma, how would I live without you?" "My bebu, every girl has to go after marriage. I left my house, your sister left and Savvy will also leave her house and come to her new house. It's a tradition, our culture", Mumma is gently caressing my hair and held me tightly in her arms. We remain sitting there as if will not cherish these moments again.
Sammy will come late from office today so we had supper early in order to pack my dresses in a big suitcase he bought for me. I am missing Daddy a lot today. I'll take a suitcase from the house, a suitcase only! How would I pack everything from my house where I have spent my childhood, my most precious moments; my college days.... missing everything even though I am still here.
"Listen, can I give your room to Sammy after his marriage as yours is the biggest room?' Mumma asks slowly. "Why not, Mumma" I smile, but feel as if my life, my home, my room is slipping away from my hands. I think I am overthinking; it is but natural for every girl to get married and leave house and call someone's house hers. But if I will have to come back? Why would I come back? Yes, I'll come as a guest and I know I'll be given the guest room or I'll sleep with Mumma. But I won't have to live in my parent's house permanently. I know this.
My thoughts divert to Sartaj. How would Sartaj's house look like? Sammy said that it's a well-furnished bungalow. Would they be excited to welcome me as my family is for Savvy? Why not. It was them who sent proposal....
I fall into deep sleep to dream about my new house!
Sartaj's birthday falls on 18th December and he wants to celebrate his birthday with me in his house but my mother refuses to send me there as a girl is not supposed to go her in-laws' house before marriage. What an insane tradition!
Sartaj decides to celebrate his birthday with me though we are somewhat annoyed with our families, we decide to celebrate to dine out on his birthday at Sevilla, The Claridges. I buy an expensive wrist watch for him and few other gifts along with a cassette of romantic songs of 90's; Angel of mine, Truly, madly, deeply, All my life.... My favorite numbers.... We enjoy a lot! The dinner is secluded gazebo! The scenic place is so romantic that it takes us to another world, our world. After cake cutting and dinner, we remain sitting for some time and then walk on lighted cobbled path. The most memorable day or I would say one more memorable day!
In five months, it feels as though I and Sartaj know each other since decades. Most days, we have lunch together or meet at café.
Since only ten days are left to our marriage, Mumma says that we should not meet now but can talk on phone. Thank God! I can hear his voice at least. A day spent with him is always a day well spent but a day without seeing him is a day wasted. 'Calm down, Samaira,' I speak to myself, 'it's about few days only and then you'll be his forever'. Amen!
I make a call to Sartaj to convey his mother-in-law's message. "Hello!' his as usual calm voice urges me to meet him and kiss him. But not possible now until we get married. "Hi!" I reply. "Mumma says that we're not supposed to meet till 6th February, until we get tied in a knot forever.
"But I can't imagine my single day without seeing you", his calm tone turns into harsh one. My message makes him infuriated.
After a pause he speaks in his as usual calm voice, (I love the way he controls his emotions in a moment) "I can't say 'no' to Mumma, but we'll call each other daily. I am going with Mummy somewhere so will call you tonight after 10. Love you, my love! Bye!" he drops the phone.
Mumma calls from her room, "Come here if you've put down the receiver." I, as usual, jump out and run towards her room. Daddy used to say, "My bunny rabbit! Jumps only, never walks. What would she do in her in-law's house!" Daddy you've not given me a chance to show you how would I manage everything after marriage. I wish you could be here today, Daddy! I wish you could see how beautiful your little princess, who's grown up now, was looking on her engagement! I wish you could see my shopping...... everything Daddy! Missing you Daddy! I wish you could be there when I leave after marriage from this house, like every girl I want to hug you, want to be embraced in your strong arms and accompanied to my wedding car! I know you can see me, Daddy. But I can't see you.
"Where have you lost again? Keep thinking of Sartaj all the time," Mumma smiles. I smile back.
My suitcase is packed. My second suitcase of footwear and other accessories is packed also. My sorrowful mood gets more sorrowful than ever. I divert my thoughts for not making my mother sad. She's is really so excited about my marriage that, I think, she forgets I'll leave this house after marriage.
"You'll have to try your Lehenga today, so be ready by 12. Sania will also be coming there. Your Bhabhi will also come so wear something nice. Don't wear a simple pullover and jeans", Mumma orders while packing.
The perfectly fitted Lehenga transforms my mood from dismay to happy one. 'After all there is something about a wedding gown prettier than in any other gown in the world'.