"Fine then, I have bipolar disorder and I had to go see a psychiatrist and I see a therapist every week now, happy?" I answer him, throwing myself on my bed, hoping he'll stop asking about it. "Dom, you do know I'm always here for you right? You don't have to hide things from me, I'd never judge you" he holds his hand in mine, making me feel safe. For the first time in a while.
"I didn't think you'd judge me, I just know how you get and I don't want you worrying about me all the time, I'm ok, really."
There's a calm silence, "Promise me you'll talk to me about these things and I'll stop worrying so much, deal?" He raises his pinky finger and I raise mine, and we make a little pinky promise, just like in preschool. The thought makes me laugh, Tony, pinky promise? That's a new one.
For the rest of the evening we sit and talk about the silliest things, well, they'd sound silly to you, I feel at home with Tony. Throughout the entire evening I can't help but think of my therapy session tomorrow, what do I say? Do I just go in there and start talking about my childhood and then break down into tears like in the movies? "What are you thinking about?" Tony brings me back to reality, "Stuff, like the whole therapist thing, I haven't really spoken to anyone about it" he doesn't respond, instead he hugs me and kisses my hair, something that will always make me feel like a queen.
We're interrupted by a notification from my phone, "It's DeAndre" Tony says when he looks at it, "He's asking you to meet him at McDonald's in an hour"
I think for a while about whether or not I want to go to the club today, and I decide against it. "Tell him I'll be there" I stand up to pick an outfit, not because i want to look good for him, but because it's gotten colder outside, and my asthma is not built for this. I'm excited to see DeAndre again, even though it hasn't been that long, i just feel like I need him.
"Your sister's here, so can we leave now?" Tony says, I've always gotten the feeling that he's afraid of Faye, which is weird because she loves him, not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter.