Chereads / My feelings are important to someone? / Chapter 10 - NINETH CHAPTER

Chapter 10 - NINETH CHAPTER

Attention.

Some people like it, others not.

But we have to remember that there are different attention types, not only bad or good attention.

Some people do many things to receive any attention; others don't do anything but receive unwanted attention or wanted attention.

In my case, I received a lot of attention because I was the first one: The first grandchildren, the first daughter, the unique child in the house; but the attention in something new isn't always.

The first one is usually taking as an example for the next children.

The first one has to show the others the best of him or her.

But don't forget all the children aren't the same and the children usually imitate the adults around them.

When I was a child, my parents were a bit young. They have to work hard, but luckily they had the support of their families; my mom took me to her work there, her co-workers had arranged a kind of crib for me under their workspace. My dad worked as a driver and, I didn't usually see him. Sometimes my parents fought for different things, which was a bit hard.

I saw my dad more when I was 5 or 6 years old, at the same time that my cousin was born, I didn't care about him because I liked to be alone and to play alone so, I didn't see him as a playmate; I was more curious because it was the first time that I was nearer to a baby. Besides, at that time, the problems started because if my cousin cried, it was my fault because I was supposed to take care of him; for me, it was unfair because I was also a child. The same problems happened with my next cousins if I felt angry for their fault or if they hit me; I had to keep calm and understand that they were too young so that actions weren't in purpose but, that excuse was used by my relatives even when my cousins were old enough to understand.

Time for an anecdote: Childhood, the third one, too young, bite, anger.

When I was a child, my third cousin was born. My relatives were happy with the new member of the family, me too. Many people could think that I could feel jealous but, I wasn't; I only felt curious because she was a new baby. However, not everything was happy since with her came some annoyances; for example, like other children, she used to bite things but, the problems came when she was six years old, and she started to bite me in each opportunity that she had. I'm white skin, and my skin is sensitive so, when hit, a bruise or a mark appears quickly on my skin.

One day, I was playing with my toys on the rug; I wore a tank top. Suddenly a few minutes later, I felt someone biting my back very hard, which hurt much more than on other occasions since she didn't want to stop biting my back until my mom and her mom arrived. After they took her away from me, I felt upset and wanted to yell at her but, my mother grabbed me and told me that she was young and did not understand. For me, that was just an excuse because she had already bitten me before and, they had told her no she was supposed to do that, but she continued, and on no occasion had she been punished or scolded properly. Those times my back and arms were with a lot of teeth marks.

A new thing usually receives a lot of attention.

A new thing arouses curiosity in people.

But when that thing gets old, it receives less attention.

After me, born six other children, so I was used to not getting the same amount of attention as before. Each of my uncles and aunts now had children to take care of and, now I had the responsibility to be an example for my young cousins and my younger sister; I had to be better than before.

I remember that one day the nucleus said to me that I was the buttercup of the family because I had managed to achieve much more than the others; at that moment, I felt happy and proud of myself. However, sometimes I didn't want my relatives to talk about my achievements because they used them to compare my cousins with me, and I was sure that my cousins felt sad and pressured. Comparing one person with another isn't fair because we're different so, we aren't going to do the same things in the same way that another person.

As I said, there are different attention types.

Sometimes you receive attention for your appearance.

Also, you receive attention for your personality.

Some would like one, but not the other.

Some would like both or hate both.

Besides, you receive attention for your preferences.

I received attention because I'm smaller than other people of my age. I was one of the tiniest girls always, so sometimes people said that I look younger: for example, when I was in my senior year of high school, people said that I look like a twelve-year-old girl, which made me felt upset because that was a problem at the cinema or when I wanted to buy a book. I also received attention because I have long nails. People said that I went to the nail salon to put on false nails each weekend, but when I said that they were real, people said that I didn't do any chore in my house, so for that reason, my nails were long; it wasn't the case, I just took good care of my nails because that's part of my care.

Now, my personality, I'm an honest person so, I say what I think about some situations but, people said that I'm an insensible person. Besides that, some of my classmates said that I was boring and an antisocial person. Sometimes I rejected their invitations to go out to the cinema or the park; that was because I had to do homework, help my mom or visit one of my relatives; in fact, I used to go out with my friends when they and I were free but not each weekend.

In my preferences, I didn't receive a lot of attention. I met many people with my same favorites like reading books, listen to the same type of music, like the same color, like the same genre of movies, and more.

Maybe you think that I forget about my important question twice, but it isn't the case. I talked about two general things that depend on each person; I didn't talk about a specific person. Some of these people care about my feelings but, others not. I talked about some of these people before. Did you remember or can recognize someone?