I couldn't break free. I felt like I was being held down, like there was a heavy weight upon me. "Hold her firmly she's a demon". I screamed, kicked and thrashed for freedom but I couldn't break free.
"She has to confess to killing my unborn children!" I heart my stepmoms voice but I couldn't see anything.
"Please let me go! I didn't do anything!" I yelled out still thrashing around.
"Oh you witch! You think I don't know how you've locked up my womb. You don't want me to have children so I can inherit my husbands wealth" she said maniacally.
"What?! No I'm not a witch please, I don't know what you talking about" I screamed harder. I wanted to break free and run. Everything looked so dark I couldn't see anything. I heard voices but didn't see the faces to them. The only voice I could remember was the one of my stepmom.
"Oh shut up!" I felt a slap on my face but felt no pain. It felt like I was numb and I was actually happy about that, cause I always wanted to feel numb.
"Throw her off the cliff, makes sure she dies" she laughed evilly and I blinked.
What?!
"No please don't! Please forgive me. Whatever it is that I did I promise to undo it. I can swear on any deity. I promise please don't kill me! I don't want to die by your hands" I plead but all that did was to land a punch on my face. I didn't care anyway, all I wanted was not to die by the hands of that woman.
"Too late! You're already going to die by me anyway. It'll just be me and my husband and kids. You'll be gone, you devil! I hate you so much, you have no idea how much! I can't believe my husband used to love you more than he did me!" She snapped at me and I could feel the anger in her voice.
"What? No! What did I ever do to you? I always obeyed all your commands, why make my father hate me for no reason! I thought you could actually be my mum" I asked her desperately.
"Well let's just say that I hated you since I saw you because your damn father won't stop praising you! I hit you once and he slapped me! Who does that? Who slaps their wife because she hits their daughter?" She said dissolutely.
"But that wasn't my fault! I did nothing wrong and you hit me just because I ate food! Why would that make you turn my own father against me. You have no idea what we went through to get to where we are now so why make him hate me?" I asked.
"I don't care about any of that! I turned him against you because I couldn't share my husbands love with a peasant and a child of a prostitute. I also talked him into not allowing you to travel because there's no way I'm letting you succeed while my children haven't yet!" She yelled back.
But.....
Wouldn't she rather want me out so I couldn't share that monsters love with her anymore?
_________________
In between darkness I fell in and out of consciousness. I felt blind cause everywhere was dark. I squinted my eyes to see anything desperately but it seemed darkness was my solitude. I was held by two strong arms that made my thrashing futile. All I could feel now was weakness and numbness. It felt like my strength was nothing.
"Talking to you makes me sick!"
"Just throw her off already!"
I didn't know what happened. All I felt was being sucked into a black hole. If felt like I was falling into an endless pit.
All I felt within was anxiety, I was just waiting to hit the floor. I prepared for the impact but it never came.
****
"Pamela wake up!" I felt something shaking me strongly. "Wake up baby please! Please you are scaring me!"
I couldn't move, I still thrashed and kicked! I wanted to break free of whatever bondage I was in. I wanted to wake up but I couldn't.
"Pammy! Wake up! Mimi please" it was was a bit softer and I heard sobbing.
I just couldn't do it. I couldn't wake up.
(It was a nightmare, an endless nightmare of anxiety. The feeling of giving up on life while death itself blatantly rejects you. It was horrible)
*****************
In the midst of being shook to life while being sucked into an endless pit of hell and the anxiety of waiting anxiously for an impact sent me into an hallucinating state.
It was like I was in a trance. Everything was dark and I couldn't see anything. I felt blinded again. No voices, no restraints .
"Adede". I heard a soft husky whisper. I heard the voice of my angel.
My heart sprung with hope.
"Deon?" I called out but it was silent.
"Is that you?" I asked and stared into nothing.
Cold shivers run down my spine causing me to shiver slightly.
"Yes baby it is. You have to wake up" the voice whispered again out of no where.
"No I want to stay here"
"Please Adede. You need to wake up"
"No I don't want to. Can't I stay here with you? And what are you even doing here?"
All I wanted was to be with him, even if it was in a dream state.
He chuckled.
"You're falling Dee, you need to wake up before you fall into a deep coma. You need to wake up for me. I'll be coming back soon for you baby, I need you alive and well by then. Don't forget our promises" I heard that voice again.
"No! I need answers Deon! Why did you leave me here in this hell hole and never called! You talk of promises yet you broke yours!" I yelled frustratedly.
"Patience is the key 'mido' (my love). I will be back for you. I'll make you my wife as promised, just wake up please!" He pleaded.
"No! I'm not leaving here! I'd rather die than go back to a world of hatred that has no you in it"
"Please 'Odo' (love), do it for me"
I felt cold fingers touch mine yet I stared into nothing. It was a confusing state, it felt like I was falling yet I felt freed and cold.
I felt cold lips on mine that shook me to the core.
That jerked me right up! I gasp for air like my life depended on it. My uncle threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just as tight still breathing heavily and shaking violently.
"Oh thank god Pammy! I thought something happened to you. I'm glad you are safe"
**********
After being cleaned and fed. I still felt emotionless. I couldn't really talk anymore I just signed or nodded.
Took some drugs and rested for awhile.
I still hated being brought back to life.
"Pamela what happened to you last night I was so worried." He asked worriedly and I just stared at him emotionlessly.
He sat beside me on the bed with a pitiful look directed at me but that didn't faze me. When he realized that I wasn't paying him any attention, he shifted and sat right in front of me where I could see nothing but him but my mind zoned out on me.
I was in a trance. I could hear whatever he was saying from afar.
I just couldn't fantom why the people who are supposed to love me hated me so much. I mean was I born to suffer like this? Why birth a child into this world if you ain't willing to love them or take care of them?
All these questions twirled around in my mind with no answers.
I was shook out of my thoughts by the strong hands of my uncle.
"I'm talking to you Pamela" he said.
And I looked at him like he was crazy with raised brows that looked at him concisely.
"I asked what happened to you?" He repeated.
I didn't want to talk about it. It wasn't as if he didn't already know what happens to me in that house anyway.
He knew. Everyone knew but couldn't interfere.
They only knew how to talk about it behind your back but not to really tackle the situation before it got out of hands.
They mostly didn't want to be caught interfering in another mans house issues.