As we walked home, I was walking ahead of them. Dazed in thoughts until I felt a hand on my shoulder shake me. Apparently I zoned out and that god forsaken arm halted my movement and had me pausing in my tracks. My skin burnt with distaste as I stopped walking.
He dared put his hand on me.
"I'm talking to you, you evil child! Answer me" the monster yelled.
I didn't talk. Didn't feel like it so I just starred at him uninterestedly.
I shook his hand from my shoulder.
Before I could register what was happening a slap landed on my face, I heard it ring out loud but didn't feel a thing. I felt numb, I was used to it so my body didn't react.
I squinted my eyes curiously and looked at him seriously causing him to flinch.
He gawked at me surprisingly.
I tilted my head to the side and had a better look at him from top to bottom and right back up to his face with raised brows.
I had Enough!
"If you as much as touch me with even a finger tip of yours ever again, I'll have you arrested" I threatened half-hearted with my face void of any emotion.
I realized that the monster only fed on my emotions so I wasn't going to give him any.
Cause that's how I felt. I felt numb and emotionally deprived.
Lifeless.
He recovered from his shock and gave a deep scowl. "And you think a police cell can hold me?" He smirked as if he'd achieved something great.
I mentally rolled my eyes at his ignorance.
"Oh trust me dear father if the police cell doesn't work, I'll be sure to murder you and kill myself as well. Nobody will live to tell the story not even your two faced wife. Never underestimate the power of a person who cooks for you daddy dear cause your life means nothing, trust me no body will miss you"
With that being said I walked away leaving him and the elders with shock expression drawn permanently onto their faces. They looked like they've been slapped on the faces and if I wasn't mentally unavailable their expressions would've been funny.
But I was t interested in anything anymore. I lost my reason to laugh or smile. I felt no emotion whatsoever.
"Did you hear that Elder Edu and elder Appiah? She threatened to kill her own father because I'm teaching her the way to be a better adult." I heard him say and I heard them murmuring amongst themselves. It wasn't important to me so I left them.
I headed straight to hell.
******
When I got home 'it' was there looking at me with such intense hatred in her eyes.
I guess she was never expecting me back and the feeling was so mutual.
I didn't greet like I always did. I didn't grace her with my voice cause she didn't deserve a greeting from me.
With a deep scowl she opened her trap to spew profanities.
"So the prodigal child finally returned home. I thought and hoped that you weren't ever going to come back to this house" she spat with venom.
It was actually funny to me cause I stared at her in amusement. Her angry stare actually amused me.
"Oh sweet sweet mother, the feeling is so mutual. Sorry to burst your little bubble of hope though but I'm back to my own father's house if you have one please by all means go to yours. Sorry if things didn't go according to planned" I said sweetly with a sickly sweet fake smile.
"You piece of shi-" she snapped making a move to hit me but I halted her hand mid air before that diseased hands touched my body, I didn't want to catch infection.
My skin crawled enough on itself to have hers on mine, it would drive me to the brick of insanity.
Everything about them disgusted me so much I felt like throwing up. I didn't know if it was because the hatred I harbored for them or not.
"And let me sound this note of warning to you oh dear mother. If I ever hear or see you talking about me behind my back ever again, I promise to make your life a living nightmare. Never underestimate what a 'demon' can do. 'Witch' remember?" I snarled my warning to her dropping her hand, my hands burnt with distaste just having skin contact with her and she was shocked that I had a voice.
"What the-"
"And oh don't ever try that bullshit ever again, we don't want your husband to find out about all your shenanigans when he's not home, do we?" I hissed.
With that I left to my room.
They all stared after me with mouth and eyes wide. I didn't even flinch.
That's right. I was tired of all the maltreatment and profanities. There was no way in hell I was going to put up with it anymore. That was a big risk though.
I was either going to get sent out or get killed with that rebellion behavior but either way I wasn't going to go down silently anymore.
I turned rebellious.
I used to accept all the maltreatment thinking that it was me being disciplined but that was never the case. I used to think that I was a burden to them because they had to carter for me with their own funds but that wasn't the case either. Because mum sent them money for my needs yet I got nothing.
Even if mum wasn't taking care of me from afar, wasn't it his job to take care of me?
Wasn't I their responsibility or rather his responsibility?
I mean I get that my stepmom was trying to secure a good future for her kids and herself but wasn't my own father suppose to do same for me?
Wasn't I worth it?
I mean is it me? Am I that bad?
After everything dad and I had to go through together in order to get where we were and this is how he repaid me? By wanting to murder his own child. Whatever happened between us or whatever I did is no reason to treat me like this.
Even animals didn't get treated the way I was treated.
I did everything for that man and I loved him so much more than anything yet he did those god awful things to me.
Till this day all I felt for him was hatred and nothing else.
I just wanted to get out of there so bad while I still had life or maybe die early and end it all but death itself rejected me on so many occasions. And I hated it.
I remember taking pills to die but still woke up to see another day and I loathed it. I tried everything toxic just to Rest In Peace but nothing seemed to work.
I took blade to my wrist , I tried cutting deep enough but it only bled for awhile and stopped, leaving scars on my skin that made me feel more uglier. I didn't care about the scars on my skin cause my soul suffered the most.
I felt dirty, lifeless and unworthy of myself. When I looked at myself in the mirror it made my skin crawled. I wanted to peal off my skin anytime I saw my reflection on something crystal.
I hated myself and I hated everything and everyone around me.
I hated myself so much for ever being born into this world.
I hated everything gradually.
******