Ever since I threatened them, they didn't touch me anymore neither did they allow me cook for them. I was allowed to stay in the house but I was my own person. Nobody cared if I died or stayed alive anymore.
I did small jobs to sustain myself and to be able to afford my fees and tuition bills.
I spoke less, ate less but studied and worked harder to gain a better future since death refuse to put me out of my misery.
I worked and studied harder cause I had some enemies of progress to prove wrong. I had to prove to them that I could be somebody better than what they thought me to be, that I could have a way better future than they could ever offer me.
***
What Gideon told me that day at my weakest point of hallucination still rang in my mind everyday. That kept me going.
I was no kid, I didn't believe in fairy tales and I didn't really believe I could ever see him again but for the sake of my sanity I chose to have hope.
^^^^
Took my entrance exams (BECE) and passed into high school.
Worked around and earned enough funds to sponsor myself by the time the results came out I was set.
Mom supported me through other people and I was grateful for that. I didn't go to the boarding school I dreamed of because of 'not enough funds', and because I had to work to support myself.
^^^^^^
I got really ragged and calloused.
I only wore baggy clothes that turned into a tomboy because I couldn't afford nicer cloths but I didn't care. I just wanted a better future so I focused more on that and only that.
I became secluded, anti social and spoke few words only when necessary.
Bit by bit I completed high school with flying colors but that didn't come as easily as it sounds.
I couldn't go to the university because I couldn't afford it at the time. I still worked around everywhere and did everything that I could that could fetch me money apart from what I was accused of. 'Being with men in such a way that wasn't acceptable to my soul'.
I vowed that I would only give myself to Gideon and I intended on keeping that promise.
Even as bad as I looked I still had suitors coming to see my 'guardians' about marriage at the age of 20 but I refused to break my promise to Gideon. Even though I hadn't seen or heard anything about him, I still chose to have hope.
I hoped one day he'll come for me.
Come to take me away from this pit of hell like he promised.
My Gideon.....
My Deon...
He was the only thing holding me together. I hallucinated and had dreams about him, where he always promised to come for me and I promising to wait right here for him so I wasn't going to get married to anybody and I made that pretty clear.
Dad and I avoided each other like the enemies that we were. He was rarely home anyways so good for me.
That caused a fight between him and his wife.
*
One day,
there was a knock on our door at the break of dawn. When i attended to it there was a heavily pregnant woman at the door looking for dad, he'd come out and they'd leave together to wherever.
I didn't care. All I cared about was that, that woman disrupts my sleep and I hated it. I was insomniac so I lived on the little sleep I got.
That act repeated itself for about five more times and that caused mother dear to become suspicious of the pair.
I knew what was going on between dad and that woman but I didn't give a hoot. I didn't tell anyone cause it was none of my damn business. I kept to myself mostly and turned blind to everything.
I knew my father more than anyone else in this world and I knew what was happening all too well because it wasn't the first and it definitely wasn't the last.
My stepmother used her gossip ways to investigate the matter at hand and later found out that, the woman was father's concubine and that the child she carried was his. I mean it wasn't like they were married. They were all concubines so why be jealous.
I didn't know why that surprised people cause I sure as hell wasn't surprised.
That caused a huge break out fight between them and there were blows!
It was the most entertaining drama I ever saw in my miserable life. Ever!
My stepmother tapped her foot to the ground vigorously bouncing up and down waiting for him to return.
I sat there watching from my seat as she paced back and forth making my dizzy.
I sat there uninterestedly as I watched the drama unfold.
Immediately he arrived home he was greeted with a hard thud of slap across his face. That ticked him right the fuck off.
I knew my father too well and what that woman did was a wrong move. She was about to be used as a punching bag and I knew but she didn't. You don't put your hands on Emmanuel. He does the touching.
"What the hell did you do that for you crazy bitch!" He yelled angrily.
"For cheating on me, you worthless idiot. What have I not done for you huh? And you still go out there and sleep around and even have that bitch pregnant with your child while I sit here and take care of your kids!" She yelled back fuming with anger and I just sat there looking unconcerned.
What kids?
"And you think that gives you the right to put your hands on me useless thing?" A punch landed on her face causing blood to ooze out.
Yikes.
I sat and watched as they battled each other like wrestlers. I didn't call for help I just watched. It was funny how that woman thought she could put her hands on him knowing full well the strength that man possessed. I've seen him in action with both men and women and his strength was unmatchable.
They're problems weren't mine and I wasn't going to make it mine. I had enough on my plate already at that young age.
It was entertaining until it wasn't. I watched in slow motion as something happened. Something that made my heart bleed. Till this day I don't know how it happened but my dad was bleeding, there was a deep cut in his palm. The way he bled made me go savage.
My body moved on its own and before I knew it I was pushing them apart.
"Let him go! Leave him alone!" I screamed.
Something about seeing my dad in pain always has me go crazy. No matter how much I hated him for mistreating me I couldn't stand him in pain. I remember when he began to hit me, he had a fight with my stepmother behind closed doors. I heard a nerve wrecking scream from him that made my heart clench.
That was the first time ever I saw my father cry and it broke my whole being, reason being that there was an umbrella attached to his balls. She hit him with an umbrella in the balls, who does that?
I cried with him. My heart bled for him.
I loved my dad so much it felt like we were connected but only I could feel his pain, he couldn't feel mine. Because if he did he wouldn't have been treating me the way he did.
"Get away from here you evil child or I swear I'll hurt you as well!" She yelled bloodily and pushed me away from the scene.
I acted fast and rushed to the kitchen and took a kitchen knife. I returned and aimed it at my stepmother.
"You let him go right now or I swear I'll murder you. I can do anything for you father don't underrate that!" I hissed tearfully.
She let go of him in surrender and I dropped the knife, my dad looked at me in horror and I wondered why. I was completely oblivious of the fact that she took the knife I dropped and was aiming to stab me until my father threw her a kick that sent her stumbling to the ground with a loud thud.
"Don't you ever try to touch my daughter ever again. If you as much as look at her the wrong way I'll send you packing!" He warned dangerously. And I heard a loud sob break out of my stepmother.
*******
I treated his wounds and got him herbs to stop the bleeding before taking him to the hospital. He seemed to be shaken. A little surprised and a little terrified. I didn't spare him a glance.
My heart began to hurt all over again.
He hurt me. The person I trusted and loved the most hurt me. It hurts so bad but I couldn't find the tears to cry anymore.
*****!
Dad tried everything he could for us to be like the way we used to be but I avoided him.
I avoided him like a disease. I made sure to appear where he wasn't.
I have a soft spot for him doesn't mean I forgive him for all that.
I'll never ever forgive him for the things he put me through.