Gideon
I can't think straight, all I feel is this excruciating pain all over my body. My heart hurts as if it's been put through a wood chipper. I don't know what's wrong but all I feel is that something is definitely wrong somewhere.
But what could be wrong? I can't figure anything out. I've been bed ridden for a whole month now and all I do is feel pain and sweat like crazy. The doctors have nothing important to say. All they keep saying is that there is nothing wrong with me and that everything was functioning perfectly but I know there is something wrong.
How can you say there's nothing wrong when my body is going through such pain. I fired their asses. They know nothing. I fired doctors upon doctors cause they couldn't provide me with any appropriate diagnosis.
Am I in anyway dying? Is this my punishment for promising her and failing her? I never forgot her though. I just moved on to be able to survive without her. I still can't stop thinking about her. What she might look like now. I'm sure she's the prettiest woman ever.
But the reason I hadn't heard anything from her is all that man's fault. My father. He's the enemy of progress who separated me from my one true love. The only person I feel my hurt beats for.
Dee....
*******
Years ago when I had left Africa, leaving her there alone, in that hell hole to suffer alone. I promised I'd go back for her and I still held on to that promise until some point in life.
My father found out that I was in love with someone and called it an infatuation. He said I was young and didn't understand anything.
When I arrived home that morning after seeing and spending the night with Dee, my father found me and called me out on my bullshît because apparently I had violated code "travel at midnight so no body sees that you're leaving".
My fathers way of traveling never ceased to amuse me. He always traveled at night and never informed other parties. By the time you know it he's right in front of you.
He didn't tell me we had to leave at night.
I had gone to see the love of my life. Or my childhood lover. Truth was I didn't even know if we were lovers by then but all I knew was the kind of intense feelings I had for that poor girl was too much to be measured by mere word 'love'.
When I saw tears in her eyes I felt pains in my heart like I've never felt before. I didn't let her know that. I couldn't stop her tears. It was too much of a torment not to let it out. My heart hurt but I was stronger for her. Ever since I'd known that girl all the pains she felt I felt but I never for once let her know.
I didn't want to add to her suffering. I didn't want her to halt her tears just because I felt them. I made a promise to myself to get her out of there immediately I was stable.
***
Immediately I entered home my father was sat in the living room waiting for me with a pissed expression. He was pissed yet so calm but I knew him all too well. Immediately he saw me, there was numerous of emotions to his demeanor. Relief, anger, happy, a lot that it looked like he didn't know which to choose.
I walked guiltily and scared shitless of the outcome. The way he looked at me made me realize I was screwed.
"Where the hell have you been Gideon!" He had bellowed frustratedly.
"Uhm sorry, I was out to say goodbyes to my friends and I lost track of time so I spent the night at a friends place" I screeched.
"A friend? Do you know how worried sick I was Gideon? Don't you have a damn phone? What's it for if you won't use it?"
"My battery died and I didn't have my charger with me, I didn't plan on staying out long please!" I had plead, in hopes he'll forget it and move on but no! That man had to make my life miserable.
"Since you don't want to use your phone, let me have it. No more phone and no more friends. I hate distraction and these people here are meant for only that" he said angrily with rage.
I couldn't let him take my phone, I can't. I don't have Dee's number anywhere, only on my phone. If he takes that I wouldn't be able to reach her ever again. I couldn't allow it.
I fought him tooth and nail for that phone but he won I pleaded with him for it but he refused. He took my phone. And immediately booked a flight and transported me alone to Europe.
That damn man blocked my only chance of reaching out to her. I searched everywhere on social media but to no avail. The only thing I had of her was that unclear picture I took of her that night. Luckily it was saved to my cloud.
I searched and searched. I did my possible best. I really did. I made my mind to travel back and look for her when I was stable. Cause even from afar I felt her. Her pain and agony. Her cries for me haunts my very soul. I loved her. I couldn't find her so I tried to move on. I really did. But I couldn't.
When I couldn't get in touch with her, I lost it, I lost myself. I began to do things I wasn't proud of.
Until a month ago, I felt this agonizing pain in my chest and my whole body. I know it has to do with her. I just hope it's not. I thought I was free from her but she still haunts my nightmares.
She calls out to me to help her and I don't know what or how to help her. I really wish I was by her side.
But if it's not her I want a proper diagnosis to this. I had to know if I was dying or not. I had to know. Because I'm pretty sure even cancer doesn't hurt this much.
Are all my wrongs coming to hunt me? Could it be that I broke a vow? Did I do something to someone? Was this my curse? To be body entrapped with her and feel everything she felt? Because I loved her?
The real question was what was wrong with her? What could possibly be wrong with her that's making her feel such pain?
Was she dying? Or am I dying?
I prayed to whatever god that was out there to heal her if indeed she was the one feeling all this. So I could be healed too. I had to survive for the both of us in order of fulfilling my promises about marrying her out of that damn hell.
•••••••••••••••••••••
******************
At once a weight has been lifted off of me and suddenly I feel completely fine. I didn't understand. I couldn't understand.
I can't feel pain for the past two months and then suddenly not feel anything at all.
Did she die? God please help us.
........
I was panicking so bad. Because I remember what a seer had told me once when I was back in Africa.
I was just a boy, walking care-freely around when I saw an old woman carrying a lot of stuff, she looked too old for all that. The things she carried looked heavier than she was. I had taken pity on her to help.
"Hello ma, please let me help you. It looks too heavy for you to carry alone." I had offered help.
"Oh no my son. I can do it. I've been doing it for years and truthfully I am getting too old for this though but I can do it. Thank you very much for offering" she politely declined but I wasn't haven't having none of that.
"I insist mama. Let me help you please" I insisted and she agreed to let me help her.
We took a long walk to a very secluded house. When we arrived I dropped her goods and made my way to leave. She thanked me and reigned blessing upon me which I gratefully accepted.
When I turned to leave she stopped me.
"Ah ha. Please wait my boy. Come over here and show me your palm" I was confused but I complied anyway.
She took a look or two and dropped my hands, humming to herself and I was confused as ever!
"Wealth is your portion but you'll only have one weakness. You shall be a slave to her soul. You'll feel anything that she feels. Be sure to protect her from harm and help her in anyway you can, immediately you don't feel her anymore then she might be dead. Stay safe and be blessed" she said and I looked at her agape. Say what?
I didn't understand. I was still as confused as ever if not more.
"What do you mean ma. Who do you speak of." I asked confused.
"When the time is right. You'll know" with that she turned and it was my queue to leave.
I willed it on her being nuts or something until I met her then I understood.
Could she be.....dead?
Hell no!
I had to find out if she was okay. But how could I possibly? I know of no way to reach her.
How do I know?.....