After Angie and John went to sleep Mark left. I thought like always he would return through my window but he didn't. I didn't know if he was coming back or if something came up. I don't text or call him but I do take my phone.
Changing to more sensible clothes I jump out my window. The fall wasn't as bad as I thought. I landed on my feel after jumping. I jog towards the trees before I change my mind. The darkness was blinding but soon my eyes adjusted. I kept running throw the woods, I really needed to get back to training. I wasn't tired or anything but this was giving me an adrenaline rush that I almost felt invincible.
I debated to shift but decide against it.
I come to the Holt's sooner than I expected. I was trying to pump myself up to have this conversation with Tristan. I was now having second doubts.
Slowing my run into a walk I contemplate my options. I could turn around and none would be the wiser. I am not a coward, I tell myself. Moments like this I'm glad Mark isn't listening in on.
Just as I was walking through the trees to come to their driveway when I'm stopped by voices.
"Don't you think I'm trying?" Ander's voice booms. "I'm ostracized in my own pack! They think I'm not thinking clearly, that I'm letting my emotions get in the way of making clear and critical decisions. They're deeming me unworthy and unstable to ever lead the pack."
"Sucks to be you, doesn't it?" Mark says with disgust. "It's not like your mate is dying or anything!"
"I'm trying! Don't you think I'm doing everything and anything I can to save her? I'm now running after rogues as punishment for defying them. Not only did I get her our pack doctor, I let you all cross the line. I'm paying my dues for defying them but there's so much I can do. I can't afford exile, not for me, but for her! She needs help and they can give it to her but if I'm exile so would she! I have to do as they say. I will endure anything for her."
Mark screams in frustration. "We need to find something now, we don't know how much longer she can hold. I will not stand idly by as my best friend dies. I would die before I let anything happen to her."
"Get in line," Ander says. "I'll continue to persuade them into another hearing. This time leave your emotions at the door. It isn't about you and your feelings it's about ensuring she gets help."
"I doubt you can accomplish that," Mark admits, deafened. "You're not in their good graces."
"I can if I agree to something I've been refusing. I'm all in." Ander says, shifting he runs towards the woods. He's gone, Mark paces for a bit before he dashes away.
Ander was going to do something he would have never done for me. I couldn't let him do that. No matter what that is no one should be forced to do something they're not ready for. Especially if it comes to me.
I walk in to find Bass listening to music. He's resting on the couch, he has his eyes closed. For someone that doesn't sleep he can mimic it so well.
I make my way to Tristan's study. The rest of the house is quiet. Which only makes me think that Im doing the wrong thing. I didn't came this far to just turn around, I tell myself.
I knock, no answer, I knock again. No waiting for an answer I open the door and walk in.
I'm stunned by what I see. Tristan's library looked as if a tornado came through to just this part of the house. Books were everywhere. I was afraid to take a step as I'd be stepping on Tristan's prized possessions.
I look towards the desk where he works from, I come to find him looking like a mess. His eyes were sunken and dark. As if he hadn't slept in days, as if he hadn't fed in days. He looked paler than before. He was focused on a book that was sprawled in front of him.
"Hello," I say. He doesn't seem to hear me. I clear my throat but he doesn't look up. "Tristan!"
His head snaps up to look at me. I felt bad for screaming his name but I really needed to talk to him. He tries to smile but doesn't seem to have the strength for simplicities.
"Do you have a minute?" I flinch as I ask.
"Yes, yes, of course. Come on in. Excuse the mess," he waves me in.
I pick the books from the floor to clear a path for me to take towards his desk. I know better than just step around or push his books away with my foot.
Reaching his desk I set the stack of books on the floor, there was already a stack there. There was no point in trying to sit as the seats were covered in books. I take a deep breath before I speak to him.
"I wanted to run something by you, but I think it can wait. You need to feed," I say as he continues to read the book before him.
"Hmm?" He says, looking up he looks surprised. Looking at the ground he can see the small pathway I made. He smiles. "Nonsense, whatever you have to say is just as important."
"I-I wanted to ask you," I falter. That pep talk was for nothing. I couldn't do it. I was wasting his time with my nonsense.
"You're thinking about joining them," he says for me. I stare at him with my mouth hanging open. Not because he guessed what I wanted to discuss but because he looks happy.
"How—how could you possibly know that?"
"It's in your nature. From what I've gather from Ander it's not hard to come up with rational conclusions. If I know anything of wolves..it is nothing, very complex beings, but I do know you. You're not going without a fight and you will not risk anyone doing regretful things at your expense. You've come to the same conclusion as everyone else. You need to align yourself in order to survive. Be a part of a pack, a family."
I just stare at him. Tears threaten to fall but I blink them away.
"If you're here to ask for our blessing then you wasted your time."
I wince as his words hurt me. More than I thought they would.
"There's nothing for you to ask of us. You know we just want you to be happy. If you think by joining a pack you'd get rid of us then you're greatly mistaken. We're not going anywhere without you. We're a family and we're forever. We love you, Vanessa. I think it's time for you to flourish and explore the world. Take the leap, let yourself love and be loved. That is all we've ever wanted for you."
A tear falls, I stare back at Tristan as he comes to walk towards me. Holding me in his arms I relish in his embrace.
"Just let us know if we need to kick any wolf's ass and we'll be there in a second," Bass says. He comes to join in our hug. "Even the whole pack if the need be."
I laugh. As he kisses my head. I look back at Tristan.
"You need to feed," I plead him.
"Yeah, you're looking a little dead there pops," Bass says. He dashes away before Tristan can get him. He laughs from the door. Bowing he closes the doors and walks away.
"He's lucky Ash likes to keep him around," Tristan mumbles.
I laugh as I wipe my cheeks. I look back at his desk. If it was messy before now it looked like a herd ran over it leaving behind a trail of paper and broken books.
"What are you doing?" I ask him. I try to read the title of the book but Tristan turns me around, putting himself in front of his desk, obscuring my view.
"Nothing you need to worry about, you have a lot to think about. Let me worry about everything else," he kisses my head before leaving me to go sit back on his desk.
"Please take care of yourself," I say before taking my leave.
"Vanessa, don't dwell on what you can't control. Focus on getting yourself better."
I nod. Not sure what he meant by that but he's right. I can't control every aspect of my life but on what I could I was going to do what was best for me.
On my way out I find Bass back on the couch as if he hadn't moved. His eyes were closed as music drifted from his headphones.
I walk towards him. Leaning on the back of the couch I look down at his resting face. Poking his cheek I get his attention.
"Yes?" He asks. "Want another hug? I can't blame you. I give the greatest hugs ever."
"Wanna train?"
This gets his full attention. Smiling wickedly at me, I can see wheels turning inside his head. His smiles falters as his eyes squint with suspicion. I laugh as I reach to pinch his cheeks. "Nothing suspicious about it, I need to train and you're-"
"The best!" He finishes for me, happily.
"No, the only one here," I counter. He pouts making me laugh. "Kidding! Of course it's because you're the best."
He smiles his brilliant smile, jumping up he rubs his hands together as if he's cooking up an evil plan.
Now it was my turn to squint at him suspiciously.
"Don't you have school?" He asks out of nowhere.
"No, Angie got a note to excuse me the rest of the week off."
The smile on his face made me regret telling him that. "So you're saying you're free all week?"
It was Friday since the old grandfather clock rang the midnight hour ring.
"Why?" I ask.
"Nothing, don't worry about it."
He dashes off leaving me alone and worried.
"Okay, just like before but this time in your human form you'll be doing offense and in your wolf you'll be doing defense."
I was now outside with Bass as he had his new speaker out. He said music was essential to training, I was not one to argue with that. The lights on the backyard were all turned off. Bass thought it was perfect for when I would be attacked in the dark, to help me focus on seeing through the darkness.
It was just me and him as Mark was nowhere to be found. Maggie and Ash had gone to do some girl bonding. Which we all know meant shopping, I was grateful they didn't offer me the chance to join them. I was always awkward trying to find excuses to say to get me out of joining them. I went once, like I said some things it only takes one trial run to register, shopping with them and ended up being their model. I tried on some many outfits it made me hate clothes for a bit. Wearing them became a chore. If they weren't essential I would have burned all of mine and gone about the world without them.
"Which do you want to start with?" I ask him.
"Wolf, definitely wolf."
I snort, he's been wanting to "train" since the last time. I'm sure it won't be easy to get him this time around. Last time it was only possible because he underestimated me, he won't do that again.
"Do your running thing while I pick the playlist."
I didn't need to run, I could feel my wolf trying to come out. It's been on edge since the first lapse.
"Whoa," Bass says once he turns to me. I was in wolf form. "All right, lets do this."
He presses play on his phone before discarding it.
"Remember you're doing defense."
I circle him as he warms up.
One minute he's in front of me and my eyes are locked onto him and the next he's gone. He dashed to the woods, not wasting any time I chase after him.
I only have my instincts and the light of the moon to guide me. I was on high alert as it was a defense training course.
His scent was all over the place, he was trying to trip me up. Coming to a clearing I stop. I stay still to listen to anything that might indicate which route he took. A snap of a branch guided me more north.
After chasing his scent I realize he's up on the trees. Jumping from branch to branch. Keeping my focus on him I keep my eyes on what's in front of me. The last thing I need is to trip in my wolf form. That'd be embarrassing.
I momentarily lose him as I come to a cliff. I stop to turn and look for him. He jumps down to stand in front of me. We stare at each other before he kicks dirt right at my face, I was blinded for a second. A second he used to kick me and send me skidding, slightly shifting myself so that my claws dig into the ground so I can come to a stop standing, I growl at him.
He's already jumping from tree to tree again. Chasing after him I look to see what I can use for leverage. A fallen tree comes up ahead. Putting more force in my run I use the fallen tree as a catapult, I lunge at him. Catching him mid air we tumble down. He rolls away coming to kneel on one leg he looks up at me with a grin.
Just as he's about to leap at me something crashes into him. They collide with some trees. Bones crunch from the impact, I don't whose but I sounded painful.
Bass jumps to stand but soon falls onto one knee again. He's clutching his ribs. A growl comes from beside him, a dark wolf slowly approaches. I know that wolf. It was Theo.
I run towards them. Coming to stand before Bass I growl at the newcomer. He looks surprised by my stance.
"Take it you know each other?" Bass grits out. He's trying to be funny when he's clearly hurting.
I shift back. "We've had a run in before," I shrug out.
"Running seems to be it's strong suit," Bass laughs, to only groan in pain.
"Come on, let's get you home," I go to help him up but the wolf growls. "Dude, chill. He's with me."
"I think we might not be in Narnia anymore," Bass wheezes out.
I laugh, "isn't it Kansas?"
"You clearly need to go to school," Bass teases.
Theo shifts, "where's Ander?"
I was leaving with Bass when his question stops me. Turning to face him, "how should I know?"
"He went to see you and your vampires," Theo says, clearly disgusted.
"Ouch, I always thought you were our wolf," Bass responds, as he looks at me.
"Shut up, Bass."
"He hasn't returned and he's supposed to be patrolling."
"I'm sure he's doing what he's been told."
"You know he hasn't slept in days, because of you. He got so much shit for trying to save you and you don't even care for him," Theo's voice was laced with bitterness.
I help Bass to sit below a tree, he waves me off when I unintentionally hurt him.
I come to stand in Theo's glaring face.
"I never asked him or anyone to do anything for me. You don't know what I've been through, what I do or don't do with Ander is my and his business. Not yours, not anyone else's."
"It's my business when you're clearly not going to bond with him. Who do you think will be there to pick up the pieces you leave behind?" His glare intensifies. If looks could kill I'd be twice gone. "It would be better if you just told him before it becomes too late. Before he wastes his time with you."
I don't remember deciding to slap him, I do remember contemplating it. The slap was hard enough that the sound it made vibrates throughout the silent woods.
"He deserves better than you," Theo sneers.
"I don't doubt that," I admit.
He caresses the cheek I connected with. Rubbing his jaw he slowly backs away. I turn my back to him as he shifts and disappears into the trees. I look to Bass who looks like he's contemplating going after the wolf.
"I think training has come to an end."
"Just say the word and I could get you a fur coat for Christmas," Bass glares in the direction it went.
I laugh, helping him up we slowly make our way back.