Mark comes back with a sleek black car, a Bugatti, I don't remember seeing it before. It looked expensive, I stand speechless as Ash goes to admire it. She had one of the dresses she had made me try on. It was a long navy dress that exposed her back. It had a choker like collar that tied it off beautifully. She looked elegant and regal. I was hunched as I dragged myself to the car.
"Looking beautiful," Mark compliments us. Ash beams, she hugs him as she goes to sit on the back.
"Are you coming?" Mark asks me. This was giving me second thoughts. I look between the car, Ash, and Mark. He was wearing a suit that made him look like a model posing for a new extravagant car.
"What exactly is happening here?"
"Oh, here we go," Ash mumbles. I look at her in confusion.
"I came to pick you both up, I don't expect you to walk, much less run in those," Mark points to my footwear. I had the boot the doctor gave me and on the other an ankle length boot that Ash picked out.
I guess that makes sense, "why the fancy car?"
"As if you don't know Mark, are you done with your inquisition Mr. Sherlock?" Ash jokes.
I squint my eyes at them but reluctantly get in the passenger side. "Just one more day." I say mostly to myself.
"All right, lets get this night started," Mark pulls his shades out and drives off. If I still had the link opened with Mark I would know exactly what's going on but now I have to reduce conclusions from them the old fashion way. Deduction.
I was staring out the window the whole ride, Mark and Ash tried to make small talk, but I was just not in the mood. I just wanted to go back to my room and lay on my bed. I wanted to hide in my closet. I wanted this empty void inside me to just close. I hated the feeling of dread but that's all the I could feel. I had to keep it together. It won't help anything. I wasn't helping myself, I was still dying and I haven't even told anyone that.
I was dealing with it all on my own and it was starting to mess with my mind. It was feeding that void inside. I was never going to get out of this in one piece. Something in me will have to die forever. That's what scared me. What was I willing to lose in order to survive?
I could not bring myself to hurt my wolf any longer. She's been through so much and I hadn't help matters at hand. I knew she was hurting long before the violent lapses. I hated her just as much as I hated my parents. I hated her because of my parents. It was a part of them that I inherited, instead of caring for it, I despised it.
Now I was paying the price.
"We're here," Mark's voice breaks through my thoughts.
Sighing I get out, Ash pulls me inside as Mark opens the door.
Inside it's dark and quiet. Ash continues to drag me inside towards the dinning room. I limp fast to keep up her pace. It was getting too much that I pull my hand away from her grasp. She looks back at me puzzled from my actions.
"I can't keep up," I tell her. She looks down at my foot and realization crosses her face. She offers me a sheepish smile.
We walk at my pace towards the dinning area where I'm greeted with a surprise.
"Surprise!" They all shout.
I just stand in the doorway as Maggie, Tristan, Bass, Mark, Ash, and the Burke's look at me happily.
"Happy Birthday, Vanessa!" Angie squeals as she comes to hug me. "You look beautiful."
"Congrats, kiddo." John hugs me.
I return their embrace and smiles but inside I'm breaking.
"Thank you all, I appreciate it," my voice breaks. I turn and walk away.
I go out the glass doors and I continue walking. They let me go and I couldn't be more grateful. Even though I was out in the fresh air I felt like I was suffocating.
Tears threatened to fall but I just concentrate on the anger that was boiling.
How could they? How could they think I could ever celebrate this day? That I was strong enough to face it.
"Are you okay?" Mark asks.
"No," I whisper. "I can't do it Mark. I can't pretend there's anything worth celebrating. I lost everything. I keep losing everything. I can't go back."
Mark holds me as I stare in the darkness, hoping it would swallow me whole.
"You're still here, you've made it another day. That's more worth celebrating than anything. The fact that you're even here is worth it. They might not have done things right but they did it because they cared for you."
"You can't know that. You barely knew them. I may never know why they did what they did but I can't pretend that I'm in anyway ready for this. I can't pretend anymore, Mark. I'm not okay, I may never be okay."
Mark sighs. "We will get through this."
I shake my head, "we won't. I won't. That's the problem. There's something I haven't told anyone yet."
Mark stiffens at this, "what do you mean?"
"Nothing," I relent, I couldn't bring myself to tell him.
"Vee, I know you. What is it?"
"I'm going to join him Mark. I'm going to get to know my mate but I have to join his pack first," I deflect.
"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Mark asks warily.
I nod my head. "I told you I will find a way to fix me and that's the first step. You were right about me getting better for everyone but myself. I'm going to change that too. I'm going to give this mate thing a try. It's the least I can do."
Mark's face is blank but then he laughs. He picks me up and spins me around. Kissing my cheek he lets me down again.
"You don't know how happy that makes me. Seeing you be happy and determined instead of wallowing and in pain. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I want you to have the best life possible, Vee. Happy Birthday!"
The joy that he was emanating was contagious. I found myself smiling. I was scared and nervous but I knew Ander and his pack were the answer. I was willing to do things I've never fathom doing.
"Come on, there's a birth to celebrate."
I let Mark drag me back, I may have decided what to do with myself but it didn't change the fact I still didn't like parties. Much less if they were for me.
Angie looked worried as we walked in. I smile at them. "Sorry, it was a little overwhelming."
She smiles a sad smile. "It's okay, if it's too much we can just go home."
"No, that's okay. I'm fine now." I smile at her.
"Great! Now let's eat!" Mark announces.
I look at him in disbelief as everyone starts to sit. Bass laughs as he guides me to my chair. He places me at the head of the table, he sets a napkin on my lap. I look to my right to see Tristan smiling at me. I smile back as I look next to him as Maggie looks like she had been crying. She looks at me and tries to smile but only to stop a sob from coming out. She excuses herself. Tristan goes after her.
On my left John looks after the Holt's in concern. Angie is sitting next to him and she looks like she about to cry as well but is holding herself together. Ash and Bass take a seat next to Angie as Mark sits across from Bass and next to where Maggie was.
They all looked conflicted. I was about to excuse myself as well but Maggie and Tristan come back in. Maggie looked drained but was no longer on the verge of crying.
Mark gets up as he heads toward the kitchen. Coming back with a cart full of closed plates he starts to place one in front of everyone.
"I hope you like it, I made it myself with the help of the lovely Angie." Mark says.
We all lift the lid at the same time as the plate underneath held a tuna sandwich. I laugh. I look up at him as he smiles brightly at me.
"Wow, looks delicious," Tristan says politely.
By the looks of Bass's face he was disappointed. Which made it even more amusing. I wonder what he expected.
"Dig in," Mark says as he reaches for the silverware.
John looks confused but after the first bite he seems to enjoy it. Angie was looking at me, so I smile as I take a bite myself.
We all eat the sandwich in quiet. It was amusing to see Ash eat her sandwich. She didn't even know what to do with it. She held it from one end but soon settled it down just to hold it in a different angle. When she bit into it she only managed to nibble off a tiny piece of bread.
Tristan studies his for a minute before taking a huge bite. He looked to savor it as if making mental notes on its flavor.
Maggie looked a little overwhelmed but managed to take a piece of and chew that for a long time. Mark was done and was looking around to see whose he might take.
"I got cake," Mark says. He stands as he rolls another cart in. It had a three story cake. It was white decorated with flowers made of frosting that ran diagonally and elegantly through a side of the cake. On top it had candles, a one and an eight.
I love the simplicity of it all. Nothing extravagant. I loved that the food wasn't something extraordinary that it was something that brought longed feelings out.
Angie got up as she headed for the cake, she lit the candles on. "Well come on, make a wish."
Everyone turned to me, I looked at the cake in longing. This was more than I deserve.
I slowly got up as I hesitantly made my way to it. "As long as there's no singing," I say.
They all laugh. Mark stood back to give me room. Standing before the cake I look back at Mark. He smiles at me, "I wouldn't dare."
I glare at him as he innocently holds his hands up. He slowly walks towards Angie. When he's no longer behind me I bend down to blow the candles.
Ash claps as they all come to hug me one by one.
"We have gifts!" Bass excitingly says.
He grabs my hand and drags me towards the living room. He slows down when I tell him he's going too fast. Sitting me on the couch he goes off to get a present.
Bass comes back with a wrapped guitar case. It has a big blue bow as the light orange wrapper reveals the gift.
"I wonder what that could be," Mark jokes.
Ash snorts as Angie and John laugh.
"Stop, I love it thank you, Bass," I tell him. I stand to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"You haven't opened it," he says.
Humoring him I open it. The hard case had my name engraved on it. It also had "May music brighten your life as you have mine. With all my love, Bass" on the bottom.
I stare in awe as I look up at Bass. He's grinning but I can tell he's a little embarrassed. I hug him again. "It's the best, thank you," I tell him.
"Open it," he insists.
I open the case as the black sleek acoustic guitar before me has writing all over it. "It's signed by all of us. Might not be a famous band but I think we would rock the world if we set our minds to it."
Angie and John had also signed it. Which made it even that much special. I laugh because the urge to cry was overtaking me.
"The best band I know," I tell them.
"I'm next!" Mark says. He walks up to me as he hands me a long thin box. I take a deep breath as I open it. It's a silver charm bracelet it had: a wolf, a guitar, a dress, a book, a cookie, a heart, and a little house.
"It's to represent all of us," he tells me.
"What does each mean?" Angie asks him as she looks at the charms.
I tense as we all look at Mark waiting for him to say something.
"Well the wolf is Vanessa, it's her spirit animal. The guitar is Bass, the dress is Ash, the book is Tristan, the heart is Maggie, the cookie is me, and the little home is you," he says the last at John and Angie.
Angie looks like she's falling more in love with Mark. She looked lovingly at the bracelet. Mark sits on the coffee table as he takes the bracelet off the box and puts it on to my left wrist. I hug him. "Thank you," I say as I kiss his cheek.
"You're welcome," he beams proudly.
"I got you something too," Ash says. She pushes Mark out of the way which we all laugh when he falls to the ground.
Ash hands me a bag, I hesitantly take it. Looking inside I see a book, a scrapbook to be exact. The cover had a picture of all of us together. I remember that picture it was a year after they had saved me. We did it for Maggie.
"My family" the words on the cover said. I opened it to find pictures of me and them throughout the years. Each one bringing back fond memories. I close it when it comes to one of me as my wolf.
"Thank you, Ash. I love it." I hug and kiss her as well.
"After this we can all take pictures, so you can add to it," Ash suggests. John and Angie agree, as do Tristan and Maggie. The rest of us grumbled our agreement.
"Okay, I can't take it," Maggie says wiping her eyes. Tristan gives her a tug as they come to stand before me. "We got you something as well."
Tristan hands me an envelope with a small red bow. I smile at him as I take it. Opening it I slide out the paper inside.
"No, I-I can't," I stutter out. I look at them as Maggie furrows her eyebrows in concern. "This is too much."
"What is it?" Ash asks.
I shake my head as I try to hand it back to Tristan but he declines. "It's the least we can do for you. It is done, so please accept it."
"I-I don't don't know what to say," I look at them in turmoil. "Thank you."
Maggie looks relieved as so does Tristan. I give them both a hug and a kiss.
"Are you going to tell us?" Mark asks.
"It's a trust fund, in my name." I smile at Maggie and Tristan as they walk to the side.
A low whistle comes from Bass, "you're set for life then." He jokes but I still feel like it's too much for me to accept.
Angie and John get closer to me, "we wanted to give you this."
She hands me a small bag, inside there was a nightlight. I laugh as I see that it's a cute one of bears. Something for a small child. I look at them as my smile brightens. "I love this, how did you know?"
Angie looks at Mark and remember thinking about wanting it back in the room.
I hug and kiss them both. It was really cute, I couldn't wait to plug it in.
"Actually we have something else," John says tentatively. "Two more things."
I look at him warily. He looked slightly uncomfortable.
"This was really the gift we went to go get you when we left you today," John says as he hands me a box. The look of relief he had when I declined was because they didn't want me to see their surprise.
I take the box and open it. It had a necklace inside. An oval pendant with what looked like ivy entwined on it on the front part. Flipping it, on the back it had my name and birthday. It had "Nyssa" written on it. I look up at them.
"Open it," Angie encourages. I looked confused until I realize it was a pendant that opens. Inside there was a picture of my mother and one of my father.
"They had instructions to give you this on your eighteenth birthday. If anything were to happen to them and prevent from them giving it to you." I look at the Burke's in shock.
"We also have this," Angie grabs a bag from the ground. It was a dress. It was a beige laced dress with a flowing bottom and short sleeves. The back was exposed but it was beautiful. I give them the best smile I could. I hug and thank them again.
Grabbing the necklace I hand it back.
"It's yours," Angie insists.
When she doesn't receive it I turn to Mark, "I'm not ready."
He takes it. "I'll hold on to it for you," he promises.
Bass jumps up saying he was going to put some music. He didn't want the night to end in a bittersweet moment.
Maggie suggest wine which Angie and John quickly agree upon. They follow the Holts to the kitchen. Ash, Bass, Mark, and me stay behind.
"What do you want to do?" Mark asks me.
"I wouldn't mind some cake," I tell him. He brightens up. Escorting me to the cake he lets me cut the first piece. He quickly takes over and cuts himself a huge one. Ash shakes her head at him as Bass starts to sing.
He really did have a beautiful voice.
"Weren't you the drummer?" Mark says with his mouth full.
Bass shrugs. "He gets stage freight," Ash informs.
"Awww," I say as I go hug him. He dodges me. Glaring at me and Ash as he walks away. We laugh.
I sign. "Thanks for this. I guess I should apologize for being rude."
I look up to see Ash and Mark looking sadly at me. They wanted to say something but didn't. Instead Ash dragged me to her room.
"I want to show you the thing," she says.
I was confused at first but then I remembered she had asked for me to give my opinion on something.
She guides me to her walk in closet. She leaves me at a spot before she goes to lock the doors that separate her closet from Bass's. She comes to me, pulling a drawer out she digs underneath a display case where she had earrings adorning it.
Underneath it was an envelope, which she hands to me. I open it to find a legal paper.
"It says you were born 1992," I say in shock.
"Not that, the name."
"You changed your name?" I say.
"Yes," Ash says with uncertainty. "Read the name."
"Ashleigh Holt-Han." I look at her with joy. "You hyphened it."
She nods, "do you think he'll like it?"
Oh, this was for Bass. Was it his birthday?
"I wanted to surprise him for our anniversary. He had always wanted me to take his last name but never pressured me to do it. I didn't want to stop being a Holt because I thought if I took his name I was somehow rejecting them," Ash says shamefully.
I knew what she meant. I felt the same when I talked to Tristan about joining a pack.
"Tristan and Maggie assured me that that would never be the case. Which led me to hyphen it. So he can see that he's also a Holt."
I nod my head. "I'm sure he'd love it."
"Do you think I should get him something else?"
"Make him sing, he clearly enjoys it. If I'm there to witness the better." I joke. Ash looks as she dwelling over that. She might consider it.
"Thank you, Vee. What would I do without you?" She hugs me tightly.
"Probably a lot of things but let's not focus on that," I joke. She doesn't laugh.
"You're worth so much and you don't even know it."
I look at her stunned as she stashes the document away. She looks back at me smiling before she goes to open the doors.
"Is there anything you'd like to take from here?" Ash asks pointing all over her.
I look around to see she has taken the clothes off their bags and has organized them by styles.
"Nope, I'm good. Thanks." I beeline out of there. She laughs as I limp out as fast as I could. She still had to dye my hair as I had agreed upon but I wasn't going to push it. Ash wouldn't forget as much as I'd wish. She's bidding her time and I was more than willing to let her take as long as she needed.
To say I got away unscathed I would be lying. The amount of pictures Ash made us pose for left me momentarily blind when she insisted flash makes us look better.