"Merry Christmas, sweetheart!" my parents say in chorus. They called me early morning.
"Merry Christmas, Mom, dad!" I say excitedly, "I miss you two so much."
"We miss you too, darling. We'll see you this evening in your play. We are really excited for you."
"I'll be waiting. Bye!" I turn around and see Nathan looking up at me with a huge grin on his face and head half buried in the pillow. I ignore him and move into the washroom. I take a hot shower and wrap a towel around me. Nathan is standing there, his back facing me, talking to someone on his phone.
"Of course, I'll be there..." He trails off as he turns around and faces me. He stands there gaping at me, his eyes travelling through my body. I gulp and rush into the closet holding my breath. I let out a sharp breath as I let go of the towel. What's happening between us? Why is there so much tension in the air around us?
I change into a dress and move downstairs where everybody is sitting. I sit at my regular seat beside Venessa and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
"It's time for gifts!" She rubs her hands together and reaches for the one Nathan brought for her. She shakes it to hear no noise. She opens the box and squeals, "It's a tiara!" she jumps and hugs Nathan tightly.
"I love you too." He laughs and pats her back. She puts on her tiara happily, "April! Your turn." I pick up the gift that Nathan brought me. It looks like a book. The gift is flat and rectangular. I open it to reveal an iPad.
"Oh my god!" I gasp, "This is awfully expensive I can't accept this."
"It's a Christmas gift I don't think you have much of a choice. Plus I bought it so that you can read your novels." He says, his eyes meeting mine. My eyes instinctively move away.
"But..."
"Honey, do you not like it?" Anna asks me,
"I love it! It's the best gift I can receive but it's too expensive."
"Don't worry about the cost." Robin says, "Alright my turn." He picks up his present from Nathan. It's two tickets to Miami.
"It's high time you take a vacation, Dad!" He says, his bright green eyes moving back and forth between his parents. He loves them so much. Next up was Anna, Nathan gifted her a photo of Robin and her together on a yacht. My heart melts seeing this new thoughtful side of Nathan. The next number was my gifts. Venessa loved my gift of concert tickets to her favourite band, Coldplay.
"Right, I'm next," Nathan says and picks up my gift to him. His plain expression turns into a completely shocked one when opens the present.
"Those are the lyrics of the first song I wrote with the boys. You got them framed." He looks at me, his expressions very hard to read.
"I called them to ask," I say. Did I dig too much into him? He nods. As usual not a great response. The boys told me that he has a passion for singing. They always jam in Lucas' basement. They have written multiple songs and Nathan plays many musical instruments as well.
"It's very thoughtful, dear!" Anna rubs my back and opens her gift. I bought her a pair of sunglasses, which now make much more sense as they'll be going on vacation to Miami. I bought Robin cufflinks. An hour after opening the gifts we eat our breakfast and move to our rooms. I text Ethan to confirm the timings. Being a host I should reach an hour early. Nathan is busy texting everyone's wishes.
"Any particular reason why you have been ignoring me all morning?" He stands in my way as I reach the doorknob.
"Get out of my way, " I say, already losing my patience. I remember everything that has happened in the past few days. It feels like both Dylan and Nathan have been using me for their own benefit and I have had enough.
"What is it?" his fingers lace my chin, pulling it up. I look at him and he smiles at me. I move his hand away and walk past him.
I reach the orphanage but no one except the children is here. Some of them gather around me excitedly wishing me a Merry Christmas. The children are so excited for the play. I go to the auditorium to check in on some last-minute arrangements.
I go to the common room, where there is no one but Noah and me. It's a nice chance for us to bond, which is very hard but it's also worth giving a try.
"Hey, Noah," I say with a smile.
"Hey, the stranger who is always annoying me!" he fires back.
"Uh, Merry Christmas!" I ignore his comment.
"Yeah, whatever," he rolls his eyes.
"Noah, Ethan told me what happened." I sit beside him hesitantly, "But how long are you going to stay mad at him or everyone else? Do you think you can push everyone away and then live happily?"
"Just shut up and stop interfering in my life!" he snaps.
"See this is what I'm talking about. It won't kill you to talk to someone." I say and without waiting for his response I get up and go outside in the garden.
5:30 in the evening and the guests start to fill in. I stare at myself in the mirror wearing the Snow White dress.
"Hey," I see Dylan enter, "Nervous?"
"A little," I give him a nervous smile.
"Don't be, it's going to be great." he rubs my arm and I relish his touch for a moment. We pass each other a comforting smile.
At my entry I see Nathan and his family sitting in the first row along with my parents. A part of me is happy that he came. We start on with the play and I forget everything else. I just focus on the moment. We finally reach the end of the play and I eat the poisonous apple, which by the way is very juicy. As I lay there with my eyes closed a felt a warm pair of lips touch mine, it should have been a quick peck on my lips and I was supposed to get up. Yet I don't. The lips approach mine again and kiss me, like actually kiss me and I open my eyes to meet the brown ones. Wait! Brown? My mind spirals in circles as Dylan continues to kiss me. No! This is all wrong!
The heat that builds inside me when the man with green eyes kisses me is missing. The want, the need for his lips to never leave mine is missing. I finally pull away from the kiss and the narrator concludes the play. When I look around Nathan is nowhere in sight. The curtain falls and we move backstage.
"That was amazing!" Ethan's voice is distant to me although he is standing nearby. The only thing my mind is fixed on is Nathan not being in the crowd. Where did he go? I have to find out. I join the audience without bothering to change my dress.
"Venessa, where is Nathan?!" I yell over the carols.
"He left! Is it just me or the kiss lasted longer than it was supposed to?" She asks confused and annoyed at the same time, "I thought you had no feelings for him!"
"I don't, I swear. God, what is happening? I need to find Nathan, please Venessa tell me where he went."
"Yes of course!" she says and we exit the hall, "I'm not so sure but there is a place Nathan and I used to go when we were kids. He used to love it and used to go there every time he had a fight with Mom. I'm sending you directions. Take David with you."
The ride to this place is almost a quarter to an hour. David drops me in front of a house. It looks like a farmhouse. I knock but no one answers. I open the door and go inside the place. There is pin-drop silence inside. I move to the living room and find a balcony from where the ocean is visible. Relief spread inside me as I see Nathan sitting on the fence with his back facing me. Nervously I move towards him.
"Get out!" he says, still not facing me, as I reach closer to him. I see his grip get tighter on the iron, his knuckles turning white.
"Nathan..." I begin but I'm not sure what to say. Hell, I don't even know why he is so mad at me, "I'm just here to enjoy the view." I say. I move closer to him and step on the fence to sit beside him. We are face to face with each other, his eyes reddish green.
"I'm sorry," I say in a bare whisper, "I know you are mad because if the media would have seen us they would make so many speculations..." I think of the most sensible reason.
"Media? You think I'm mad because the media could have seen you?!" he says with confusion and anger, "To tell you the truth Grey, for once I don't care if the media would see you!"
"Then why are you so angry?" I ask.
"Because you betrayed me, Grey! You threw my trust in the bin like a piece of garbage!" he says, almost vulnerable, "You knew how I felt about Dylan and yet you kissed him! Were you trying to get back at me?"
Was I? He betrayed me as well! So I can't kiss a guy but he can go out with any girl he wanted?!
"You know Nathan, that's your problem!" I say with glossy eyes, "You make things all about yourself! Do you think you can do anything, say anything and get away with it? You have hurt me at every step of this marriage. And what trust? We have no trust! We have no bonding. We have nothing."
"What are you talking about?" he asks with genuine confusion.
"I saw you, Walsh. I saw you with the other girl you were having lunch with yesterday." I try hard to keep my voice together. No! He cannot see me crying, he cannot see the vulnerable side of me. I climb off and run into the house.
"April! Wait!" he grabs my wrist as I reach the living room, "God, it's a pure case of misunderstanding." he turns me to face him. It's so dark in the room I'm barely able to see his face, "She was my friend. Just a friend! I took her with me to buy you a Christmas gift. I swear nothing is going on between us." he sounds honest but I don't know whether to believe him or not.
"You hurt me." I almost sob.
"I know baby, I know." he says pulling me into him and holding me tightly, "But you got your revenge today. I wanted to rip my heart out." he chuckles and I look up at him. "Seriously." He leans down staring into my eyes and I connect our lips together. My stomach flips as his tongue enters my mouth.
He is not perfect like Dylan but maybe I don't need perfect. I need him and his imperfection.
He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his torso. Before I know he lands me on the couch and is on top of me.
"We need to get you out of this thing," he says as his lips travel down my neck. My heart skips a beat as the words leave his mouth. I'm panting hard. He grabs my dress by the neck and rips it apart making me gasp. He looks up to see me in shock and he gives me a smirk. He sucks on my collar bone making sure he leaves his mark there.
"You are mine," he says as his lips travel south and I moan, "I want you to say it Grey!" he demands.
"I'm yours," I say with my eyes completely shut. I'm enjoying his every touch. He kisses my chest and removes the ripped part of the dress. I moan his name.
"Ahhh," I groan as he moves under my dress. His hand squeezes my thighs, pulling them apart. Desire is filling me. Fuck. His hand moves up and down my thigh making my moans grow louder. The moment his hands reach my bra hook we hear a knock on the door. Nathan groans loudly but stops himself.
"Who is it?" he is irritated and I giggle.
"Sir, we kinda have an emergency," David speaks through the door.
"Well, we are in the middle of something urgent as well!" Nathan yells making me laugh even harder. His fingers still working on my bra hook.
"Sorry sir, but I think you would like to see this." Nathan sighs and leans down to kiss me passionately. He hesitantly pulls away and goes out. After five minutes he returns.
"Something came up at work. We have to leave," he says straightforwardly. The smile on my face disappears and I nod at him.
"B-but you ripped my dress," I say almost ashamed of standing there in front of him like this. Why do I always give in to him? He is Nathan again and I am sure he doesn't even care about my dress.
"Here," he hands me his suit jacket. I take it and get up. He stops me as I start to move out, trying to keep a straight face. I feel him grab my wrist and suddenly he pulls me into him, connecting his lips with mine, "Don't worry, I am not going back to that douchebag of a husband. Ever again." I smile at him and hug him.
He is such a mystery. A mystery I would like to solve. A mystery I want.