His lips leave mine and I moan in protest. His hot breath is fanning my cheeks. For once I let go of everything that is going on in my head and enjoy how good of a kisser he is. He starts planting soft kisses on my jaw moving down to my neck. He continues to kiss my neck as my hands automatically find his hair. I'm panting hard, this is unusual, this is new, this is so good. His hand travels through my hand to my shoulder removing the strip of my dress. I close my eyes and enjoy his every touch. His other hand reaches for my zip and I hear it open. No! I snap my eyes open. Somebody has to stop it before things go out of hand and by the looks of it he doesn't seem likely to do it.
"Nathan," I try to collect my voice and straighten my tone but miserably fail. His mouth travels to my shoulder blade, kissing it, sucking it.
"Nathan, stop!" I say, "Stop!" And he does. He looks up at me and his eyes scanning my face to read my expressions. Taking my face in his hands he kisses me again. Pulling back he lies beside me panting as well. Why do we have to do the right thing always? I am in no mood of doing the right thing so I lay my head on his chest hugging him tightly. He embraces me back.
"You're going to come to the orphanage on Christmas, right?"
"I don't know, maybe." He shrugs.
"Okay," I say dully.
"Wait, do you want me to?"
"Yeah. I want you to see my play."
"What play?"
"The play in which I am going to be Snow White. The play with Dylan."
"Lemme guess he is the evil queen?" He scoffs.
"The prince." I roll my eyes.
"Of course." He says and removes his arm around me, "I'm feeling sick, would you mind leaving me alone for a while?" Why does he get so angry with Dylan?
"Wait, lemme take your temperature," I say and get up from the bed. I take the thermometer out of the drawer as I hear him say, "Why? We both know you love Dylan then why take care of me?" He says through his teeth. I stop in my tracks as I hear those words. Ironically, I don't love him anymore. I should but I don't. Nathan told me he would not discuss what happened yesterday, but I think somewhere it still bothers him.
"I don't love him, Nathan." His expression says he doesn't believe me but I don't care. He has a nominal temperature but still, I give him medicine.
Anna comes to check him up. We talk about what exactly happened last night. Anna, Nathan and Robin went to an official party assuming I would be late. When I called Nathan he immediately left the party but forgot the keys in a hurry. He was so tired that without bothering to call Anna for the keys he sat beside me and fell asleep. I laugh at his stupidity. By the time Anna and I are finished chit-chatting, Nathan is asleep.
I stir in my bed as sunshine falls on my face. I feel two arms pull me close then a small kiss on my forehead. I smile and return his embrace. As I am about to drift back to sleep I hear the door kick open. I open my eyes to see a wide-eyed Venessa standing in front of me.
"Nathan, I need..." her jaw hits the ground when she looks at us in this position. I realise that I am hugging Nathan and immediately pull back.
"Yeah, you need?" He asks amusingly, "Need a drive to the office?" He asks and she nods her head, still wide-eyed.
"What's going on?" She asks us.
"Nothing," Nathan replies with a smirk. She suspiciously nods and gets out of the room. I get up and hurriedly walk towards the washroom. After a long refreshing shower, I slip into a dress to get ready for the orphanage. I instruct Mary about Nathan's medicines and quickly leave, without facing Nathan. At the orphanage, Dylan and Ethan are already preparing for the stage background. I join them in the decorations of the auditorium. I barely acknowledged Dylan's presence. They work on the chairs. Meanwhile, I climb a long ladder to decorate the top of the wall. I climb to the top of the ladder and lean down to pick a balloon but the ladder tips me off my balance and I fall.
I hear Dylan, and Ethan calling my name but there is only one face my eyes are fixed on. Those green eyes meet mine and a tear escapes my eyes. He stands there looking at me and I close my eyes. To my surprise my body doesn't hit the ground, scared, I open my eyes to find myself in Dylan's arms.
"You okay?" He asks me with full concern. I don't know why but that's not the voice I wanted to hear. That's not the face I wanted to see. Those aren't the arms I wanted to be in. What has happened to me? How can I not be thankful to Dylan for saving my life? How can I not know he's the one who has always protected me? What's wrong with me? Why is my eye searching for those green ones that greet me every morning?
"Oh my god!" I see Ethan approach me, "Are you okay?"
"I am," I finally say and Dylan puts me down. I look past Ethan to see no one standing at the door. "Where's Nathan?" I ask.
"Nathan? He's not here." Ethan tells me. But I saw him standing there. Was I hallucinating? I shake my head and call him. After two-three rings, he picks up.
"Nathan?" I say, my voice still panicked.
"Yeah, you left without telling me." He states.
"I'm sorry." I say, "Were you here?"
"No. Is everything alright? Why are you so panicked?"
"Nothing, uh- nothing."
"Grey, what is it? Please tell me, you sound like you have seen a ghost."
"I fell down from a ladder...."
"You what?!" He exclaims, "Are you okay? You sit down, I am on my way." I hear car keys giggling in the background.
"No, I am absolutely okay. Dylan caught me before I could hit the ground."
"Ohh, then I guess you must be fine." His voice turns stern again. I hit my phone on my head and let out a sigh. We get back to the decorations. When I am filling chocolates in Santa's sock for the children the gate opens and Venessa comes inside. I greet her with a hug and we both start filling the chocolates.
"Sooo," she starts, "Do you mind talking about what happened today morning?"
"Venessa..." I begin.
"Listen I don't mind you two getting along but I know you were thinking about divorce. I don't want my brother to get hurt. I don't want you to get hurt either. That day when you came to my room talking about a divorce, you seemed quite determined not to spend your life with my brother. And I get it, but then what was today?" She is very worried. Today it's not my best friend talking, it's Nathan's sister.
I think for a moment and then sigh, "We kissed." I state.
"I know but wasn't that for a show?"
"None of our kisses were ever for the show. They don't mean anything but they are not for show at least." I'm upset she thinks we would kiss for the show.
"Okay, walk me through it. Kisses?"
"Yeah, kisses. Well, the world saw our first kiss. I wouldn't call the second one a kiss but it was a stupid and rash decision of mine. The third one of yesterday and I have no idea why we did any of that. It was just a moment."
"So, you are starting to have feelings for him?"
"No! No! Venessa, it's too much too soon. And I am not answering that question until he answers it." I let out a shaky breath.
"Wow, aren't you two in a wonderful mess?" She chuckles.
"We are." I join her. When we finish with the chocolates, Ethan steals Venessa from me and we all take a break. I go to the nursery playing with Bella and Dylan joins us.
"Good afternoon, my sweetheart." He says to Bella. She moves her hands back and forth showing her excitement. He takes her from my arms and kisses her cheek.
"I'm starving, wanna go grab a bite?" he asks me casually. The room falls silent as I don't say anything. He sighs and begins to walk out.
"Thank you for saving my life."
"No problem. I would never let anything happen to you." He turns back. I look up at him. Seconds turn into minutes as I keep staring at him.
"Let's go, grab a bite," I say to him eventually. He nods and we find ourselves in a restaurant not far from the orphanage. I am hell-bent on not talking about anything that is happening right now, with him and with Nathan so I stick to the past. As I am talking to him about Amy, I notice his eyes stuck on something behind me. I turn around to see Nathan sitting at the corner table with some girl, laughing at something she is saying.
"April?" I turn back to Dylan. My knuckles turned white because I was gripping the edge of the chair, tightly.
"She must be a friend," I say to him.
"Then why is he telling her to keep this meeting to herself?"
"How can you know this?"
"I learned how to lip read recently."
"I need to get out of here," I say to him and get up.
"Sure." He calls the cheque and we split the bill. I don't look at Dylan the rest of the ride, I just keep looking outside. When we reach the orphanage I engage myself in the activities until it's dark. When we finish with the decorations the auditorium looks lovely. The children give each other hi-fi and we hug each other goodbye. I am so tired when I reach Nathan's house, barely able to move my legs. I jump on the bed without changing my clothes and don't bother to check where is Nathan. Sleep takes over me as soon as I hit the bed. The fact that he was with anyone else this afternoon is now lost somewhere in my memory.