I… I don't know what to write now. I thought that, after a decade of waiting, the words would simply flow through me. But here I am, sitting for 10 minutes and staring at this blank book.
I might as well start with the basic introduction hoping that might help. To anyone who is reading this, you should be aware of who I am right now. Tilly Eltek, daughter of Marth and Rumia Eltek, two elven merchants from the town of Sur Carys. I am throwing the name of the town in case you are reading this elsewhere. Anyway, this is who I am supposed to be.
But in reality this might not be true depending on how you look at it. For the first time in 10 years of my new life I am willing to actually say the truth. And that is I am a reincarted human. I know what this means. From what I have heard and read, last known person who admitted the truth about them was killed over 200 years ago, sharing their fate with the others of our kind.
It also doesn't help that I was reborn as an elf. Unlike other races who accepted the Star Cult as their main religion, we still believe in the twin gods of creation. So it's even harder for me to come out and say the truth. Besides I don't want to cause troubles for my parents so even they don't know the truth. Though I now realize I am hypocrite because what I am about to do tonight.
As I write this, it is January 18th 1138 and my 10th birthday. I know on this planet the current month is supposed to be called Guardian Moon, but the month names keep tripping me up so I will stick with the names I know.
Thankfully one questionable decision I have made has ensured that no one will notice my mistakes. I hate to admit, but I don't know how to behave as someone of my current age so I keep being silent and withdrawn from others. While it doesn't help me in finding friends or someone to talk to, at least I don't have to worry about any major screw ups. I also became a book nerd trying to explain my condition and any questions I had about this.
I wish I could be more open or at least more normal around my family, but I don't know how to change myself. It has been a weird experience reliving a childhood with the knowledge of an adult. From trying to speak a language you never heard before to redoing your education knowing full well you won't need most of it. It has been the weirdest 10 years of my life. Of course not everything has been a repetition for me and I did receive at least one benefit as a reborn person as most Isekai stories said I would.
As you should be aware of, I am a dark elf. Back in my old world this could have meant something bad as dark elves were often depicted as evil. Thankfully reality is different from fictional stories. Like the fact that elves were depicted as eternal when in this reality we have one of the shortest livespans. But I am getting off my topic.
From what I can find, dark elves are simply a rare genetic mutation with great potential for magic. If I were back on the continent, I could have already enrolled in some of the best magic schools by now. Thankfully I am as far away as I can be. How does it go again? I am in the town of Sur Carys on the island of New Sathen. Officially we are supposed to be under the control of the government in either Melgr or Metzaca. But at this point I am sure both cities have forgotten about us. Thankfully we have managed to colonize this area well enough so we are self sufficient.
I want to draw attention on my magic now. I will admit that I am hiding the true extent of my powers because there is something that confuses me about them. I don't know how or why, but somehow I managed to transfer my old abilities to this body.
I don't know how much time has passed since my death, something I wish I knew more of because I don't have clear memories about it, but 80 years before it we have discovered about psionics. I don't want to get into this right now, but somehow I still have mine. Thankfully I am able to hide them since they look and cast similar to magic. I have so many questions about why is this happening, but I will wait until I am physically older to search for the answers.
But now the main reason for writing this. I don't know what will happen after tonight so I wanted to at least have something to explain myself. I have managed to save enough money to get the ink and this diary so that I have something written for myself. In case this is the only entry I will make, know that the actions that I am about to undertake I am performing of my own free will and without anyone forcing me to do it.
I wish I could have more patience, but with the events of Thrus-Sanguur still fresh in my memory, I have no patience nor mercy for men like them. However I say this: Mom, Dad, if you are reading this, I am sorry.
That's about it. Even if I keep the journal, I doubt I will be able to write as much as this. However at least I have something off my chest now. That's the best for now, I suppose.