Life had been so hard for me, since the day I was a kid, up until I grew up. From I was 12, to my teenage years. I don't even have any idea, how many times people I love betrayed me.
Life was never a cupcakes and rainbows…
I hated life, as much I hated myself…
I've been so weak…
I've been so selfish…
I was thought to be hearthless…
I was force to kill, just to protect the people dear to me…
I have no idea, what happened from my past life…
I have no idea, what kind of a mortal sin I did from my past life, that made god to put me inside an inferno…
Whenever life, is being unfair, I just couldn't help not to ask…
Is this the end? Won't I get the chance to take revenge? Is this how it feels like to die? When is the time, light would consume me just like those in movies? Would reapers come to fetch my tainted soul? Would heaven still accept me even after I killed people? If I were to meet San Pedro, I would ask him...
"Why won't you accept me in heaven? Is this my choice? All I ever did is to defend myself! Is my decision wrong? Am I a bad person for wanting revenge? Did you even let me have a choice? Did you even dare to give me a set of choices in the first place?"
"I'm too young. Kids my age were only studying. Playing with their friends. Being loved by their parents. Loved by their dad. And yet here I am, forced to play with guns and knives. Forced to kill, so I can make myself live. Forced to fight, even though all I ever ask is to live peacefully. I never ask to have so much. I never ask anything all my life but to be with my father, and my mom. To live peacefully. To be a good daughter, whom my parents would be so proud of. So why? Why put my soul in this pathetic state? Why put me into a judgment, without giving me a choice in the first place? Do I deserve this? Is this a punishment meant for me from my other life? What did I do wrong?"
I always wanted to asked God…
Do I really deserve this?
Am I not worthy of his loved?
Why is it always me? Why?
Why do I have to experience all this?
I can still remember how my father told me, Uncle Lito, his best friend offered us a ride, to home.
He said uncle offered us a ride since he has his tricycle. I immediately agreed with the idea since it would be convenient for us to have someone take us for a ride home.
But while we are inside his tricycle, I noticed that we are taking the wrong route. The route is far from the direction of our home. I panic as the thought cross my head and noticed that my father seems not to care about it.
" Dad? What's happening? This is not the right route to our place!" I exclaimed as I start poking uncle Lito. My heart drummed inside my chest. I don't want to think bad about my father and uncle Lito, but my hunch is telling me, I am doomed.
" Uncle! We're heading in the wrong direction! Our place is on the left side of the road, and not here!" I almost shouted to my uncle, because of panic.
"D-dad?" I call out my father's name with terror.
I was terrified. Really-really terrified as I saw my father and uncle nod to each other before my father pulled me close to him and cover my nose and mouth with a white cloth. I felt dizzy as the smell of that tiny cloth consumed my whole system. My eyes became blurry, while my head is spinning. I felt my eyelids getting heavy and my body felt so numb.
" I'm sure we can sell your daughter at a high price Peping! I was hoping that we can get not just one pack of ecstasy from selling her out!" I heard my uncle said while laughing. He seems too excited about selling me out.
" You said that right Lito! I'm pretty sure that our boss would love this daughter of mine! She's pretty and smart. And to sum it all up, she's still young and a virgin! Bwahahahahahahaha" my father's laugh echoed inside my ear. That's the last thing I heard from them before I was eaten by darkness.
The next day, as I opened my eyes…
I just found myself in the middle of a battle for life, inside the arena…
The place where the devils live…
I fell off my knees, that time as I felt the warm liquid osmoses from my leg. It seems that someone shot me, but I still feel numb. I'm not even on the right mind to even think about the pain.
"Am I no longer loved by my father? Why did he sell me out for a pack of ecstasy? Am I not his daughter?" I felt the warm liquid start falling from my eyes, as I remember how I got here. My demon of a father whom I thought all my life is my guardian angel hides his horn from all of us for a long time. How dare he do this to his blood? How could he put me inside this hell?
I let myself stay lying on the cold floor of the arena, as I continue crying my heart out, wishing that all of my pain can be wash out if I do so. I cried so much, asking God, what did I ever do to be in this kind of situation?
"Is it the end of me?" I ask myself again while crying, as I felt another pain from my shoulder.
I touch my left shoulder using my right hand to know, why I suddenly felt pain on that part. I pulled the dagger on my shoulder without a second thought, not minding the excruciating pain that I felt on my left shoulder, and my legs. I started to stand on my feet, while holding the dagger, with my blood dripping on its tip. I look at the dagger in my hand emotionlessly as I look at the three kids approaching my direction.
I felt as if, someone is going to hit me something in the head. So I grab the guy's necklace and stab him with the dagger in my hand absentmindedly in his neck. Bit by bit, my situation began to clear inside my head, and the loath for my father started to build inside my heart, that I never felt for him before. I want him dead. I want him to experience hell too. I want to bring him to this hell, where he brought me, and burn him alive together with these jerks who are treating us kids like toys and animals who are only meant to be killed.
The death of the four native boys begun to get clear in my head, and how they were killed. I gave the two hunters a death glare as I saw the green head guy point his gun in my direction and start shooting. I use the guy with the baseball bat's body as a cover, in his every shot. I run as fast as I can to reach the table with different weapons and get a pair of guns too.
I left the guy with a gold pendant on the cold floor as I started pointing my guns at the green head hunter, and start pulling the trigger. I showered the green head guy with my bullets before I saw him fall on the floor, receiving five shots on his stomach, three in his chest, and one on his forehead.
Two down, and one more to go. I look side by side to see where the redhead guy, but seen no one. 'WHERE THE FUCKING HELL IS THE REDHEAD ASSHOLE ANYWAY?' I ask myself completely piss off, for I couldn't find the red head hunter. Only the shocked faces of the audience are all I can see, but not the last hunter. Damn! This no fun at all!
I was shocked for a moment, as I felt another excruciating pain on my back that made me let go of the gun I was holding just awhile ago. I touch my back and saw another dagger stabbed on it. The red head hunter tries to stab me for the third time, so I use the chain on my hand to dodge his attack by coiling my shackles in his arm, and together with it, I also coil my shackles in his neck. Choking, until he lost the life out of him.
I stood at the center looking at all the shocked faces of the audience.
And that's how my life, started to get fuck up…
I am Ayesha Marquez, a 12 year old kid who was forced to kill so I could live…
And this…
Is my tragic story…