I felt bad that I made Prim leave. I couldn't believe I did that. I decided to visit her work place on Monday. After all,she said don't visit my apartment. She didn't say don't visit her work place. I decided to tell her about my problem. I wasn't hiding it anymore. The sooner the better.
I went up to my room and squeezed myself under my sheets. I recalled to what had happed that afternoon. I remembered how angry I got. How violent I became. How the beast in me emerged and how I hurt Prim. I felt bad. The innocent girl was in danger because of me. For they first time though, I calmed down.
For the first time I wasn't scared. I always conquer my attack with sleep but this time I didn't.
Prim helped me calm down. I looked at her. That's all it needed. Looking at her got me frozen. She somehow had an effect on me. One single glance and I became a blunt lance. Her hands on me burned my flesh. The moment she touched my cheek I felt relieved of a burden. I felt hot. I was even badly sweating but I was glad I cooled down. I stood there looking at her. She was looking back at me. Tears streaming down her cheeks but she made no sound. I really hurt her. I was so sorry for that. Next time I'll see her an apology will be the very first thing I'll say to her. I closed my eyes and leaned on my pillow. A moment slowly crept into my cerebrum and reminding me of something that happened back in my room.
Prim and I seemed to have completed what we failed to do in the radiator at Prof Greg's house. Oh My God! I couldn't believe this. We snogged bruh! We pashed! This has just been the best day of my life. The girl I liked kissed me! Seriously I really had no idea Prim would ever do that. Did she like me? She definitely, liked me. She wouldn't do that if she didn't. But what if she just did it to calm me down? What if that was what she thought was best at that particular time?
Ow.
I hope not.
I hope she does like me.
I hope she thinks about me everyday.
I hope am the guy in her heart.
How I hoped!
I woke up and played a track from Domio-Anteloquez's second album titled 'I hope'
I've been looking at you from a distance
Each time I cant help it but notice your beauty
I see how you smile at your mom
How you tightly hug your sister
How you share a joke with your mister
(Hook)
If it's gonna be a race then am ready to run
If it's gonna be a trip to the moon am ready to give it all
(Chorus)
If I'd get a chance to wish upon a shooting star,I'd only wish for one thing...over and over again
That I be the man in your thoughts
that I be the one you think of everyday
That I be the one to make you smile
That I be the one.....the one...that's all I hope for
Prim was a really awesome amazing creature. I really liked being with her. I loved being with her but it seemed the more am with her, the more she gets hurt. I just got scared. I wish I'd tell her how much I love her. How much I love listening to her. How much her voice sparks me up. How much her espresso breaths life in me again and restores my joy. It makes me sad that I couldn't tell her that.
What if I hurt her again?
Am a danger to her. I am a beast living in a human body. I wasn't going to let myself destroy Prim. I so wasn't. I guess I just had to sit down and admire her from a far.
Ooh another Domio-Anteloquez special. I was listening to their music so badly I began talking their lyrics.
I got up and changed the track. I played ' From a far'. A song the girl in the crew wrote after she discovered she was crushing on the next door neighbour.
V1
I always get these cheeky cheeks when I look outside my window
There's always something
that keeps catching my attention
Is it the pretty roses?
Is it the beautiful house?
Or maybe it's the sunrise?
(Hook)
There's more than just flowers
There's more than just sunrise
And more than beautiful houses
(Chorus)
There's a knight in an armour
That keeps staring me up
Every time I peep out the window
I end up using it for a pillow
Moments I spend staring at him
Are the ones I want to last
I get scared to say a word
To express myself
To act my feelings
So I'll just stare.....and admire him from afar
V2
Every morning is a new breath for me
I finally think I got the guts
But I shove a pillow in my face
And realise am just nuts
I look at you and everything turns upside down
Renewing my spirit... Making me revolve around you
(Hook)
You sure spin me like a hurricane
Wipes my life off....like a tornadoooooo!
Chorus
There's a knight in an armour
That keeps staring me up
Every time I stare out the window
I end up using it for a pillow
Moments I spend staring at him
Are the ones I want to last
I get scared to say a word
To express myself
To act my feelings
So I'll just stare.....and admire him from afar
*****
I woke up with an urge to see Primrose. Today wouldn't pass. I wish I followed her yesterday but she specifically told me not to. I didn't want to disobey her. I listened to her. I didn't follow her.
I will visit her work place today. I am going to surprise her!
I wore my denim jean shorts,my white T-shirt and a blue jacket. I combed my hair and applied my brand-new Mark n Jean special hair oil. I looked in the mirror and impressed by my looks, I walked to my dressing table and looked for my eau de cologne. I sprayed almost every part of myself and put the bottle down after the scent saturated the room and I was beginning to chock. I went down the stairs, out of my house and into my car. I drove off. Ready to meet my Rose.
I packed my car in front of her restaurant and got out.
I ran up the stairs as I shoved my car keys into my pocket. I opened the door and to my dismay I saw Prim's hands on this fair man's cheek. She was shouting at him. He was the same man that asked her to go make coffee at his house. Tony!! The boss's driver. He slapped him again and again.
Constantly!
She sure was angry.
"Tell her the truth or I'll squeeze your neck into bits", she hissed. The girl was angry. Man! I'd feel her flames from this far. I just stood and watched at a distance trying to understand the whole thing.
" Yes....",the young man admitted but it didn't seem like that's what Prim was looking for. She slapped him hard. So hard I started feeling like his mandible had broken. This was something else. I walked toward them to see what was really happening
"Primrose!!!!!", the other girl screamed after Prim slapped the young man. She got as angry as a female chihuahua. She was about to slap Primrose when I grabbed her hand. I squeezed it enough inflicting pain on her and making sure I wouldn't hurt her.
"Let me go!",she shouted constantly as if I was taking her to the police.
I looked at Prim. She looked back at me. She didn't smile and neither was she angry with me. I just couldn't understand that expression right now.
"Hey!",a woman emerged into the scene "Let her go"
I did as she said and let the other girl go.
"I'll never forgive you Prim",she said and left.
"At least I know am innocent ", Prim replied. She then focused her attention on the woman that just came.
"I know you're behind all this ",
"I cannot be proven guilty until you bring forth some proof", she said smiling.
"I don't have time for your games Natasha. You will regret doing all this. Mark my words. You will. You think you've won. You feel so happy that you've separated me from my friend. Remember one thing.....a hen always has to sit on it's eggs for them to hatch. Don't ever make the mistake of counting them before they hatch.....", Prim told her off pointing at her.
" Beware of the words you use to speak to me Prim", Natasha warned her back "you started all this.....", she said folding her hands around her chest. "and you will pay for the consequences that follow",she smirked and left. It was just me,Prim and this young man.
"Satisfied?", Prim asked him.
"Not....yet no", he replied "I soon will be though" he said and left as well.
Prim looked at me and went out of the restaurant. I followed behind her. She was walking fast. I don't know where she was going but all I know is that am following her. I followed her until I wasn't sure of where we were going and I asked her to stop.
"Prim stop", I said but it didn't seem to have an effect. I walked faster and grabbed her hand.
"I said stop!", I shouted at her.
"Why? Did I ask you to follow me?", she asked. She was infuriated. I could tell she was furious. She was angry. Very angry. She was even hyperventilating. I didn't know if it was from the walking or the anger she had.
" Prim am really sorry",I began "I really am"
She looked at me and began walking again. I grabbed her hand again.
"Do you really want to go?", I asked calmly. " I swear I'll let you go if that's what you really want",
She didn't answer. She didn't reply. She didn't do anything .No motion,no word ,no action just silence. I held her by her shoulders and turned her around. She was crying. I wanted to wipe her tears but she didn't let me.
"Is this what you do?", she asked. I got confused.
"First, you put tears in my eyes and then you come along trying to wipe them?"
I did not see that coming. Ladies have serious issues. Am trying to help and all of a sudden am the wrong one. How is it my problem that she was crying? I found her in the middle of a fight back at her restaurant. I helped and then am the villain. Wow...well played Prim,wow. Why do people do this? They're hurt on their own accord and act like you hatched the idea. I looked at her. I was going to yell. To defend myself because I didn't see myself wrong in anyway. I was going to tell her off.
But, I didn't.
I took a few steps toward her and embraced her. I was so afraid that she'd push me away. but she didn't. She just didn't hug me back. That hurt but I know when her anger is down,she will.
"I am so sorry....I didn't know I'd hurt you this much. Not that I wanted to but...I was just careless enough not to care about your feelings in all this. Am truly sorry", I whispered in her ear. I pulled myself from her and wiped her tears. She just stood there like a statue.
" No.....that's not what I do",I answered her question causing her to look at me. She raised her head and looked into my eyes. I looked down at her and she looked away. I held her hand and walked back to the restaurant. We walked quietly. I didn't say a word. I wanted Prim to be the one talking. I wanted her to calm down. To let her anger out on me.
"You wanna go grab some coffee?", I asked killing the silence .
"I guess..... Whatever", she shrugged her shoulders. I drove us to my favorite French restaurant and ordered some frenchly freshly made coffee. The aroma made me feel like I was in France already. The design,setting and make up of the restaurant was all french. All French. I looked at Prim to see if she was having a good time but didn't seem like it.
"You like it?", I asked.
She faked a smile and nodded.
"Prim.....what's wrong?", I asked. I knew I was provoking her. I didn't want this charade to go on and on. I know she was angry but definitely not at me. Something or someone did something. I know I also screwed up hard but not to the point that she'd be this angry. Or maybe that'd just what I thought? But no....it can't be. My offence wasn't as worst as those who grieved her this much.
"They framed me", she replied instantly. Sooner than I expected interrupting my thought analysis.
"Tony and Natasha. They made Lizzie believe am after her boyfriend", she vomited it out.
"We know that's not true",I said comfortingly as if I really knew that wasn't true. But hey, I trusted Prim and I knew she'd never really do that. I knew Prim would never fall for that Irish looking man. He wasn't her type. Tall, black haired and cologne like the air in a castle built years back. That was just like a junk collection of Prim's Don't. Or maybe I felt that way because I just wanted to be the one she was after?
Whatever.
" but...Lizzie doesn't know that", she sighed. I knew she was bothered and it bothered me to know that she was bothered.
It really bothered her that Lizzie didn't believe her. It left her unease. It made her want to conquer the whole world for her. Am so sure she'd give everything just to have Lizzie on her team again. I just can't even begin to imagine how beautiful that is. If only I was in Lizzie's place. If only she looked at me like she looked at Lizzie. If only...
Wow! Just wow. I was impressed. Lizzie was really a crystal in Prim's eyes. She was a jewel. An expensive one.
"We'll help her believe", I said holding her hand in mine. She smiled and took a sip of her coffee.
" What about you,what's wrong?", she asked.
I so didn't expect that. It came by surprise.
"Well....you're not going to believe this....", I began trying to find a perfect foundation for everything.
" I will", she replied putting her cup of tea down and giving me all the attention I certainly didn't ask for. I wasn't even needing it.
"Prim....I have a problem",
" I know", she snapped
"It's very sensitive...I lose control of myself and .....and.....",
"... And what?", she asked ;curiosity running all over her. She couldn't even ley me finish the sentence or breath after each one. I stood up and faced the window not knowing how I will break it out to her.
What if it drives her away from me?
What if it makes her to leave?
What if she won't come back?
I didn't want Prim to leave. With all my heart,I didn't want to. I wished I'd lie to her about this whole thing but I couldn't. I just learnt relationships are built on trust. I already broke her heart so I wasn't doing it again. I felt a hand on my shoulder and from the type of warmth I could tell it was Prim's hand.
"Are you okay?", she asked and looked into my eyes.
I got scared. It all started flashing back again. The dream, the blood ,the chisel. Those words seriously had a bad effect on me. I began to sweat! I looked back at those crystal eyes and they were turning red. I got scared even more. I saw blood coming out of them. I looked down at Prim and saw a blade driven through her. She was bleeding!
Bleeding badly.
"Prim.....all my God....", I panicked
"Someone help!!!", I screamed as I put Prim down and leaned her head on my chest. I lightly slapped her cheek to bring her back to consciousness again but it didn't seem to be working
"Omar!!", Prim shouted. She had the grieving expression on. People began surrounding us and I knew I had a panic attack. Prim was still standing against the wall. Perfect and safe.
" Are you okay?", I asked nervously. I was embarrassed after the drama I just caused
" I should be asking you that...", she hissed at me.
"Am so sorry....", she apologized to the crowd that had surrounded us and they began to leave. Prim gave me one more look and began to leave. I ran after her. I called her name but she didn't stop
" Prim!",I grabbed her hand. She violently took it from me and I totally understood. I didn't blame her for that. It just had to happen.
"Ready to get talking?", she angrily asked. I could tell I was ruining her day. First it was Natasha and then me. Instead of being supportive right now I was being objective. I was stirring up trouble for her and constantly rubbing salt in her wounds.
" I saw your eyes getting red", I explained.
"They're crystal you know. They reflect things.....and am wearing a red shirt!".
I could see tears glistening in her eyes. I know she just felt like wringing my neck and ripping my throat off. I could imagine her on me with her canines in my flesh like a vampire. I felt the gravity falling and pulling me down to it's core.
" Am sorry!!", I exclaimed. "Am really sorry"
"Why Omar.....why?", she asked after getting all teary.
Tears gushed out of her eyes and I could tell I had exceeded my limit.
" You always inflict pain on me and later say you're sorry...Why do you do that?".
I just stood not knowing what to say or how to act or what to think of. I literally didn't know anything.
"Are you gonna give me an answer?", she asked while wiping her tears off. I walked toward her and made sure I got the right target. I wanted my speech to be sincere so that she'd understand me better. I took her hands in mine and looked at her face but she showed no interest in looking at me.
She lowered her eyes. I could see the pink eye shadow she applied as well as the cherry-pink lipstick.
"Am really sorry Prim.....Lately, something's messing with my head. I don't know what's real and what's pretend anymore....", I began but she still didn't look at me.
"Am very sorry.....first of all for what happened at my house the other day....and how I ruined your morning today.... Am so sorry for all of it.. I came to your restaurant to apologize for it", I took another pose but...still in vain.
My words seemed to be having no effect on her.
Was she that angry with me?
Wow! I must have hurt her big time.
" The anger and all.....it's all a apart of a problem I have. A disorder....", I paused and swallowed the bit of saliva that got secreted into all over my mouth.
I looked at Prim and I saw her blink.
She was still ALIVE!
What a relief!!
"Prim.....", I called her name and she slowly raised her head to look at me.
"I have an ugly disease... The Bipolar disorder!!!!!".