"He's got a bipolar disease", I broke the news to my aunt as we sat and had our coffee right after our dinner. It was a habit of ours to always have coffee after every meal of the day. She gave me a horrified look which I was totally one hundred percent expecting. She got up from her sit, tied her hair and with her hands on her waist,she came looking at me as if she'd see right through me which I totally one hundred percent wasn't expecting.
It started when we talked about Omar. I told her how we met and how we became friends. How every step we took adored me and sparked our hearts. How sooner I found myself smiling and laughing when there was no one around. How so little became so much to me and slowly I got drawn to him. I apologized for being rude to her the other day when she noticed.
I also told her that I was so glad she noticed and it really made me happy that finally I broke out of the shell to experience the glimpse of fresh air.
However, when I finally told her the last bit of the puzzle, she didn't seem as excited as I expected her to be. She widened her eyes and gave me a look of horror;as if my words had choked her. It was as if I held her at gun point and the only option she was left with was not to even breath but widen her eyes for seriously, her eyes were widened.
"Wh....wh...what?", she asked breathlessly. Her cup dropped and spilled the coffee all over her lap,staining her very expensive manzanita-printed white skirt. She bought it from France when she visited her brother Pierre. Last time I washed it for her,I accidentally stained it with the chemical I used and she glared at me.
It took more than a sprint up and down the mountain for a week to get my forgiveness. Yet now....with just a few words she permanently stained it. How ironic. It only took an ant to bring the mountain down to bits. A pure act of breaking the wall with an egg to disgrace the hammer. Unfortunately, the mountain would never be built to what it was before.
"Yes....he is sick...he has a bipolar disease", I said it again. I stood at a distance to give her some space to compute it in her brain so that if she thinks of making my face meet the back of her hand,I should have enough security on my part to escape from her wrath.
"What? How...", she asked throwing herself hard and sitting on the chair.. She must have been having a hard time with all this. I wished I could walk toward her to give her a hug, pat her back, lean on her shoulder and explain to her how shocked I was too when I knew of it but her reactions where really scaring me. Each time I looked at her, I saw a loose canon that was about to shot and blow.
"How? Seriously you are asking that? People get sick....and you're asking me that?", I fired my gun back.
"Oh Prim...what did his parents do about it? On what medication is he now and what has the progress been like?", she asked after noticing the wildness in me was unraveling.
"He....he...has...he has no parents or relatives...he lives alone....and he's not on any medications which I know of...", I explained a bit nervous.
Aunt Vanessa stood from her seat and walked to were I was. She looked me straight in the eye and I got intimidated. There are moments this woman gets crazy and I really didn't like it. She became a beast just like when Omar was having an attack.
"Where are they?", she asked.
"I don't know...", I replied taking my face away from her and trying my level best to avoid her hands. I constantly closed my eyes or covered them with my hands while not making it obvious. I didn't want any feelings of guilt or regret when talking to her while looking in her eyes.
"So...he doesn't have parents and you go ahead and throw yourself at his feet. Are you crazy Prim....are you mad? He doesn't deserve you!! If you give me an explanation of where they are..... I will give my concern for you to date him!",
"Yes...yes I am crazy...yes I am mad..am madly in love with him. Am crazy about him as well!!", I shouted back. "As far as your concern is concerned...I don't remember asking for it..."
I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek after I said that. That's when it hit me. She had slapped me. I closed my eyes tightly trying to make the anger fade away. I swallowed hard so that I don't become flexible and end up crying.
"Don't you understand.? He is a threat to you....you want to know where his parents are? Or his relatives?? He killed them!!",
My heart tore in two. How dare she? Just how? Even the court of law needs proof to prove someone guilty. What proof did she have? Just what proof? It's always made me sad to know that some people judge other people because of either their economic status, health status or intellectual stability. We don't question their background or give an effort to try and find out what was actually wrong. We just go ahead and summarize everything from the introduction which I totally am against and sad to say my aunt was one of those people who did what I didn't like.
"VANESSA!!", I yelled her name out loud. "How dare you level such an accusation against him? How DARE you? How just dare you...you barely know him..."
"I barely know him...but did you know...You can absolutely tell a person's character with just a single conversation... I know his intentions. I know that boy is evil. He wants to kill you too...",
"Don't you dare...", I lost it. I raised my hands to Vanessa's neck. I was out of my senses. I couldn't control myself anymore. I just couldn't bare such being said about Omar. I just couldn't. I trusted there was another explanation for him living alone. Maybe he has parents but they just don't live here. What if they died of a disease or an accident? What if he just didn't like living in a house like me and preferred to stay in an apartment?
Maybe he was an introvert. Who knows?
"I won't hesitate to squeeze this...I swear on my mother's grave...", I said looking right into her eyes. "....If you dare to say another word against Omar...again"
I was red as blood,darker than the darkness and angry like a mother who's just given birth. I couldn't see who was who anymore. I just couldn't bare it. Somehow,bad mouthing Omar brought tense and anger in me. I felt like fighting with anyone who was doing it. I wouldn't let them go scot-free regardless of who it was.
How dare she taunt and accuse my Omar. I couldn't contain myself. I've always had respect for her like my own mother. But,she was now crossing the line. I didn't like the fact that she was falsely accusing Omar. Worst of all,without Proof. I was so mad....so angry..... I have ne'er though of that. Omar wasn't a murderer and there was no way he would ever hurt me. I admit there were moments he tormented me but that was when he was subconscious. The attacks got him in over his head and he couldn't recognise a thing. Not even me. I know that was when his brain went dumb and he would absolutely do anything but my heart strongly believed Omar would never kill. Not at any cost.
"So you wanna kill me now?", she asked outraged by my actions. She thought I was just some helpless little girl. Had she known. I was as innocent as an angel I know. But when someone messes with me,regardless of who they are,they face me...THEY CANNOT ESCAPE MY WRATH!
I saw my mother in aunt Vanessa.
"Mom....", I began.
"Are you really going to kill me?", she asked me. Tears flowed down her cheeks.
"Is my love not enough for you that you have to shed my blood for a boy?",
Tears began flowing down my cheeks too. I had forgotten everything in a bit. All the moments and love we had for one another. I forgot about it. All for Omar.... I was behaving like him. So how was I really going to help him if I behaved like him?
Oh No...
"Am sorry mom..", I apologized. She slowly removed my hands off her neck.
That's when my eyes opened. I was still talking to aunt Vanessa. She stood there crying. She gave me one look and left for her bedroom.
I was sad.
I got scared.
I couldn't believe I did that.
How could I strangle her?
How could you Prim.... How could you?
I also left and went to my room. Still crying. I decided to take a long shower. Things as these calm me down. Some depressing music playing on my computer,I went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pretty. I really loved what I saw. A brown haired girl looking right back at me. She looked sad. Black tears fell down her tears. They must have had shades of her make up.
"Why do you look so sad?", I asked her
"Nothing's alright", she replied. "Everything keeps turning out wrong"
"Am sorry to hear...", I told her. "Just be you....just be yourself...."
"I tried to do that...things didn't turn out right.", she cried. I really felt sorry for her.
"Try it one more time", I insisted. "maybe things will turn out right this time".
I smiled. She smiled back. Her smile was very beautiful. Life-carrying and load bearing. I wish I'd own that smile.
I turned the tap on and closed my eyes.
Is that your natural hair colour?
Your eyes are blue...they do that?
Am Omar...Omarion
Make me coffee please...
Prim.....you're very beautiful.
You look beautiful ,Lily.
I quickly opened my eyes.
Lily
Omar called me Lily
Who the heck is she?
I didn't know the feeling I felt but one thing was for sure....I think it was jealousy. I was busy fighting for a guy who kept dreaming about another girl. I almost killed for him and yet he already killed himself for someone else such that he wouldn't see anyone else other than her. Even in other women,all he'd see is her. Just her. Who is this fortunate woman?
If I ask him, he surely won't say anything. Liam or Cass won't speak up either. I just have to find my answers. Everything began because I removed my hair dye and decided to keep my natural colour. To the look of things it seems Omar didn't like it. After all,all he remembered was some girl.... I was right there but his mind was with her. I kept his body, she dominated his soul. He gave her the compliment and not me. He even talked to her in a manner that he's never talked to me before! Worst of all.....he wrecked everything and didn't say sorry. He broke my bangles,ruined my dress,and made me almost kill my aunt.....and he didn't say anything... No phone call...no text.....no email....nothing!! Literally nothing which meant he wasn't sorry.
Perfect! Just perfect
I will make sure you pay for this Omarion Green. I will dye my hair back. I will dye it white again. So much so that he won't remember her again.
I quickly left the bathroom and went into my closet.
I took what I needed and went straight to the bathroom.
Made my hair wet and applied the dye.... I rinsed it and tied it in a towel for it to dry.....I wasn't going to use a hair drier as I wasn't in a hurry.
I will wait.
I will keep calm....for things to go back to normal....for my hair to go back to it's original self... Snow white!
*****
"Prim.....you've got customers!", Marvin called from through the kitchen door.
"Aye Aye!", I shouted.
"Two butter toping macchiatos and one cattelatte....table number four",
"Cool",
I raced through the kitchen, up and down showing my tricks as I made the espressos. I wanted the ones to have them to enjoy. To really enjoy. To feel in heaven as they take a sip of my special made espresso.
In a blink....I finished. I put the espresso in serving cups and then serving tray and off I went to deliver my order.
I didn't really notice who the customers were. I just put the tray on the table and was about to leave when I felt a grip on my left wrist.
I turned around and only to see Liam.
"You forgot your tip", he winked as he gave me a one hundred dollar note.
I snatched it from his hand and messed his hair.
"Gosh Prim! That took me two hours to make", he whined angrily at me.
"Don't worry....I'll help you with it", I patted him on the head trying to fix his hair and smiled at him. He smiled back. That's more like Liam.
"Great.....just great..... She receives one hundred dollar tips and I receive fifty dollar roses... ", Cass raised an eyebrow.
"Oh totally....", I replied putting my arm around Liam's shoulder. "He's my brother and you know....blood is thicker than water"
Liam laughed and I followed him as well as Cass. Laughter!
The emotion that drove all pain away. Brought life and peace among people. It brought life.... For a moment I thought of Lizzie. Her laughter was so contagious. Once you saw her laugh,it'd trigger you to laugh too and through it all it felt authentic and true. Laughter always had a new meaning when I shared it with her. It meant peace. At times it meant perfection. At times it meant love.
I missed the two hour calls we had and the dominant thing we did was laugh.
We talked about our favorite movie Chip Moncchido. Chip was a bird that worked at a cookie factory. He was lazy and drowsy. He would sleep on all the dates he went on and no one was surprised to why he was single. He always came to work late and ironically his boss always awarded him the employee of the month. In the end, he really became employee of the month after finally working for it. He earned it. It's really funny. It's Lizzie's and my favorite.
We'd also talk about our passion for coffee and new suggestions we had on improving our restaurant and coffee. We talked about how coffee making brought peace to each and everyone of us. How much we would rather die making coffee than to be doing anything else. I miss those moments....
Having so much in common I began to think Lizzie is my fraternal twin sister that was taken away from me when I was born. I know that's obnoxious but that's just how much I missed her. I miss the nights at her place in the dark after the lights went of. We told ghost stories and I loved it because she'd always cling to me like a baby.
If only I'd prove to her am innocent. Natasha spoiled her mind so badly that she wouldn't even believe me anymore.
She literally never knew me. I was probably the worst friend now. No longer best friend.
This whole scenario however made me wonder to some extent if Lizzie was really a true best friend to begin with. I don't think a single lie would prove to her that am evil. She trusted me so much more than that. We both had a common hatred for Natasha and yet within in a blink she's on Natasha's side. This whole thing was so paradoxical to me. I just couldn't understand. Something else must have triggered the hatred and this whole thing must be a surplus to the real stimulus.
"Prim.... you dyed your hair?",
"Um...yeah. I love it like this", I replied.
It was Liam asking. He was a very nice friend. Very nice! He made me feel secure for some reason. Having him around made me feel safe. He made me feel protected and I knew I'd face anything as long as I had him.
Like an eagle,I saw Cass give me a look I couldn't understand. I wasn't looking directly at her but I saw it from my eye's corners. She slowly moved her cup toward my hand which was on the table and poured her hot cattelatte on my hand.
"Ouch!!!", I yelped after the hot beverage burnt my skin.
What was wrong with her?
"Cass!!", Liam screamed after hearing my yelp.
"Am sorry.....I didn't see her hand", she apologized and it seemed so real. I knew it deep inside my heart it was fake. I trust my instincts and I know for sure am not being paranoid.
Why would Cass want to hurt me?
"Yeah....you're sorry....we ain't got time for partying in your mind", Liam shouted at her.
I felt bad.
I seemed to be getting between them. Maybe that's why she was angry! Liam was giving me more attention than her lately. Because of Omar,I had to learn more about him through Liam and it also gave us a fertile ground to bond which wasn't working well with someone.
I spotted something in Liam's statement.
Party!!
....and Cass!
That's when it clicked!
I went to Natasha's hot tub party with Cass. She could testify for me in front of Lizzie and Natasha would be exposed.
"Cass! I need your help!", I pulled her from the chair and went with her to the kitchen.
"Lizzie!", I called.
She turned and looked at me.
She looked beautiful. She was wearing pink lipstick and it suited her. Her hair was trimmed and it really looked pretty. I know I couldn't compliment now as I would be the one adding firewood to the fire. I just said it in my heart. You look beautiful Lizzie.
Totally!
"I'll prove myself to you one last time", I explained.
"Go on....", she folded her arms around her chest and stroke a pose that I assume was supposed to intimidate but yikes! Didn't work.
"Hold...on...call Natasha here",Cass suggested.
Lizzie gave her a call and in no time she was here.
"Hey Natasha...", Cass began. "When are you hosting another party?"
Natasha looked at Cass, then at me then at Lizzie. Am sure she was cooking up some lie. This woman was out of her mind. She lost all dignity and all honour.
She was out of her mind. Totally!!!
"What are you talking about?", she asked. "Who are you?"
"What??", Cass asked in shock."You've forgotten me?"
"No....I mean...how can I forget you when I don't even know you. I've never met you before!", she lied.
I wasn't surprised. I definitely knew she was going to cook up something even more delicious to feed Lizzie who on the other hand kept taking in whatever was left at her disposal. I knew Natasha was coming up with a new scheme and trust me when I say it didn't take me by surprise that she refused ever meeting Cass.
I knew she was going to do that. She always runs away. She always escapes but am so sure a day will come and she'll be exposed.
"When will you stop Prim?", Lizzie asked me. "When?"
"Am stopping now....what's the point of proving myself to you when you don't deserve it?", I replied. I was so fed up with all of this. I didn't know what to do anymore. I literally didn't know what to do. I was blank. The thinking centre in my brain was void. Everything had escaped from it. All ideas ran away and it couldn't function anymore. I was still trying to work out all the glitches but still remained as hard. I tried to fix it but it just couldn't work out.
All that remained was a hole.
"Hey...she is lying to you....she is lying. She's a pure cheat!", Cass shouted at Lizzie while pointing at Natasha.
She went to were Natasha was and slapped her.
"Ouch!", she cried.
"I hate it when people lie! I hate it.....you don't remember me? I bet that slap reminded you now....or maybe I should do it again....for you to totally remember me?", she seemed so angry and ready to get back the honour that had been stolen from her. It really hurts when you've been with someone and they say they don't know you. It hurts badly. Somehow,I got lost again. I couldn't understand this.
Minutes ago, Cass was trying to hurt me and now she was defending me? It just keeps getting complicated and weird. Piece after piece kept falling from the puzzle and I was having a hard time putting them back on.
Cass slapped Natasha again and Lizzie summoned Mr McGreg at once after she saw her bestie in quotes,wasn't doing alright. He came forth and without hearing the story ,he passed his judgement.
"I don't want any fightings and misunderstanding in my restaurant. This is a work place not a boxing ring. If you wanna fight....go to club Montana. You can do it as much as you want", silence filled the midst and as we all bowed to the authoritative voice. He restored peace to the kingdom. He rescued Natasha as well. I don't know what Cass would have done to her but I'd love it.
I wanna see that woman rot. I wanna see her pay for her sins. I know that was for God to decide but right now I felt like God was taking too long.
"Prim is my award winning waitress. I don't want anyone giving her a hard time around here. I need her to expand my business. If anyone dares to make her feel uncomfortable or mad or bad...I won't hesitate to fire them. You must know by now that I don't joke when I mean business", he finished speaking with a look on his face that was intimidating and left.
He defended me. He backed me up!
I felt honoured.
I felt loved.
He made me feel so special and good and great and beautiful! He was like a father! The one I've never had! Knowing that he'd fire anyone who dares to poke me made me feel on cloud nine. I felt like a glass he was carrying wherever he goes and was trying hard to make sure it doesn't get lost qorst still it doesn't break.
I knew he wasn't joking. He was serious about it. Very serious. He means business when he speaks.
Always.
I took Cass's hand and left the scene. I led her to the table and helped her sit. I thanked her for being there for me.
"Anything for my sister in law", she smiled and kissed hand. "Am sorry I burnt you with my coffee"
"It's alright sis", I hugged her.
Finally....things can go back to normal. I wasn't worried about Lizzie anymore. At least I proved myself to her. I did all I could and it was up to her too. What else do you do for someone who keeps throwing themselves in a snake pit and yet you have wasted your life pulling them back?
My mother always told me to let go. I think I just had to let go of Lizzie now. She had to face it for herself. The truth never hides for long. It erupts and finds its way out anyway and I had faith it was going to happen soon.
"We have to go...", Liam said."Thanks for the coffee "
"Anytime", I smiled.
Speaking of coffee..... I brought three cups. Where was the third one? All this time I didn't spare some time to look around. I just thought it'd been me, Liam and Cass. I didn't know someone else was here. One cup was drank by Liam,the other by Cass and the other by....
I looked at the table and saw Omar! He was here all this time!!!
He was on his phone. He didn't even take a single sip of the coffee I brought. It was exactly like I brought it. Nothing was touched. Everything was in the position I had set it as I left the kitchen.
He's been here for like the last thirty minutes and I didn't notice him.
OhMyGod!
What if he thinks I was avoiding him on purpose? What if he thinks all this was just pretence?
I really didn't see him. I didn't!
"You look beautiful in brown....", Liam said as he touched the edges of my white hair.
"More beautiful.....", Cass added.
I smiled as tears glistened in my eyes. I knew I looked beautiful in brown hair. I just didn't want any entanglement anymore. Maybe dying my hair would change everything.
That's what I thought.
"Thanks guys...", I replied as they walked out of the restaurant.
I assembled the cups in the tray and was about to leave when he called my name.
"Primrose....",
"Yes", I turned around and looked at him while balancing my tray. I was still waiting for the magical words. The words that would do the trick. I felt like a damsel in distress waiting for prince charming to come to the rescue. I just couldn't tell if fitting in a glass slipper was what I awaited or a magical true Love's kiss to wake me up.
"Are we good?", he asked standing up.
What? I don't remember a fairytale when the magical love spell was 'are we good?'. I don't see no slipper or true love's kiss happening. I gave him a look expressing the confusion in me due to what he just said.
"What?", I asked.
He could clearly see I was still burning in rage. The one he inflicted on me. He disrupted our dinner last night and worst of all he didn't apologize for it.
Men!
"Are we good? Since I came you acted like you didn't see me....you ignored me...",
"Excuse me?", I asked "I wasn't raised to 'act like'. I don't know how to 'act like'. Yeish Omar. Sorry to burst your bubble but I didn't see you."
I was so angry. How could he do that? How could he say that? Was he having an attack again perhaps? Because whatever he was doing, I wasn't liking. I felt like crying. I could feel my tears at the tip of my eyes and with one blink they all came running down.
I walked to the kitchen and abruptly opened the door.
He followed behind me.
I put the cups in the sink and began cleaning them when he turned me around and held my arms in his. He held them tightly so that I wouldn't free them.
"Am so sorry Prim", he began.
"You always say that.....but you don't show it...each and every time...you ruin my day....and act as if it's nothing to you...it hurts me a lot. By the way,there is such a thing as an apology", I muttered in between sniffs.
"Am so sorry.....yesterday-", he began but I didnt have the strength to listen to him.
"Yesterday what? You ruined my night...as usual. You kept talking about Lily whenever you look at me. Am Primrose for goodness's sake. Primrose Gerardia....that's my name ", I wanted to turn away but he held my arms so tightly.
"Am sorry about that....I was confused ", he defended himself.
"Engineers always have an explanation don't they? I am not metal. I am a person. I feel sad, I feel happy, I get hurt....am a living being...treat me like one!", I raised my voice.
I couldn't handle this man anymore.
Forget the feelings I had. All the thoughts and all the smiles. I was ready to give them up. I wanted nothing to do with Omar anymore. We will just act like nothing happened. My aunt didn't like him anyway....so why would I bother?
"Prim...please....hear me out this once", he pleaded as if for his life.
I was so angry... So angry that I'd possibly kill a man.
"Uuurrrgggghhhh!!!!", I screamed. "I hate you Omarion Green!!! Please just leave!". I just said that. Yes I just did. And I felt a log lifted off my shoulders. I felt relieved. I felt light like I usually did when I tell someone off.
I realised I did something wrong though. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean a single word I said. I said it all out of anger.
I hurt Omar!
He stood there eyes opened looking at me. He slowly let go of my hands and turned to leave.
"Omar....am sorry",I whispered though I knew he wouldn't hear me. He was gone.
He left.
I chased him away. I hope he doesn't have an attack and end up killing himself. I ran to the kitchen window and saw him get into his car and drive off.
Tears running down my cheeks, I slowly closed the window.....the curtain.....
I removed my apron....carried my bag....and walked out.
"Prim.....were are you going?", Marvin asked.
I couldn't answer. I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to speak to anyone lest I say something horrible again. I just wanted to get out of this place.
"Prim....we have customers....", he called out to me but I gave him a deaf ear.
I slowly walked to the door, opened it and left....