"I have an ugly disease..... The bipolar disorder!!!!".
The words kept on echoing in my head as I took a sip of my coffee. Omar had a serious problem. I never knew it existed until now. I only heard it in movies and novels but who knew?? Who knew I'd actually meet a guy who had it? Not just any ordinary guy, a guy I fell in love with. Oh My God! I got up from my swinging chair and paced around in my room. Not knowing what to do. Omar had a bipolar disease. Okay....okay....okay....
This is interesting!
Interestingly dangerous! I needed to help Omar. He needed help. Serious help. I quickly logged on Zaplook to see if they'll say something worth of helping me help my so-called Prince Charming who apparently had no idea about that.
I scrolled down the page but nothing convincing came up. Give words of encouragement. Give them assurance. Blah blah blah I buried my face in my hands and ran my fingers through my hair.
This was ...I don't know... I don't even have the right word to describe it. Why didn't he tell me sooner? Why was he hiding it all this time? I just hope I got myself into something worthwhile. What if he got angry and decided to kill me one day?
I didn't wanna die soon...
I sat I'm front of my huge mirror and looked at myself. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and just then my phone rang.
An unknown number.
I knew who it was though....
"Hello?",
"Sup Liam?",
"Can you come over?",
"Well....", I stayed quiet for some time. "Will you come and pick me up?",
"Sure..",
"Then sure",
"I'll be there in 10", he hang up.
I brushed my hair and my teeth. Put on my brand new red velvet flow top, a mini jean skirt and black boots halfway my legs. Satisfied, I ran downstairs and waited for someone's arrival. My aunt Vanessa wasn't around. Busy woman!
I sat in the couch and twirled my hair while watching Mark and Shriek...my favorite cartoon. The doorbell rang. Sooner than I expected. I ran to the door and quickly opened
"You're here sooner than I exp...", my statement landed in suspense after what I saw was something I wasn't expecting.
A familiar face was standing in front of my door. A tall redhead. His hands in his pockets. As usual!
His hair was grown and was almost covering his right eye.
" Hello Primrose", he smiled,pulling his arm out of his pocket and extending it in a way as to give me a handshake. I extended my hand to hold his. Before I knew it,he drew me close and into a warm embrace.
"Ooh", I jerked as I didn't expect him to do that.
" Relax, Primrose Gerardia..... Gavin Adams is completely harmless", he smirked breaking the hug.
Oh...so that's his name. Now I remember him.
"I thought so until he pulled me into an unexpected embrace", I punched his chest and smiled at him
Gavin Adams....my childhood friend. We used to live together back when we were four. His house was next door. Until he moved to New Orleans for school.
I haven't met him since then. Actually since now.
"Come in Gavin Adams",
"Thanks Primrose Gerardia", he said stepping inside.
"Are you expecting someone?", he asked looking around the house as if something gave me away.
"Uh-why?", I asked back.
" The expression you gave after you just saw me proved everything", he rubbed his chin and wore this signature look on his long face.
"Oh...yeah...I am..he must be here any moment", I backed myself up.
" Wrong timing from my side", he let out a sigh.
"It's alright,we can catch up later", I explained hoping to make him feel better.
We really needed to catch up on a lot of things.
"Oh sure! Am in town for the rest of the year. My company is..",
"You have a company?", I widened my eyes in delight.
He laughed after he noticed what I did
"Yes I do", he replied still laughing.
Just then we heard the horn honk.
"Oh...he's here", I said.
I walked Gavin Adams to the door and we both got out.
" hello", he greeted Gavin
"Hie", Gavin replied
" Gavin Adams meet Liam, Liam meet Gavin Adams", I introduced them both to each other.
"Doesn't he have a surname?", Gavin Adams asked.
Liam laughed and looked at me. I saw him from the corner of my eye as I didn't want to look at him. I completely forgot his surname. Again!
I waved at Gavin and drove off with Liam.
*****
" Are you ready to face him?", Liam asked me as we went into the elevator. I knew we were going to Omar's apartment.
"Why not?", I laughed
" he told me he told you about his problem",
"...after I insisted.. You two are bozos", I quickly folded my arms across my chest and wore a frown.
" It's not like that....I just didn't want to be the one telling you. It had to come from him", Liam backed himself.
"You always wanna defend yourself", I giggled to lighten up the mood.
" Oh yeah.....", he chuckled. "If it means from you....am on board",
We laughed as we went out of the elevator and into Omar's apartment. He was on the couch with Cass. She was sitting right next to him.
Very close to him! The sight of them both..... Together like that tore my heart into two. She had her nose on the hollow of his shoulder. I think Omar was asleep coz he certainly wouldn't let her do that.
What was she doing?
"Omar.....the snack is ready..", she whispered into his ear. I think she didn't notice we were here.
"Is Prim here yet?", he asked in his sleep
" Not yet...", she replied while looking at her watch. "She's going to be here though....soon enough",she smiled and went to the kitchen.
I looked at Liam who did the same thing and we both walked in.
"Hey Omar", I began lowering my head so that Omar would know it was me. His eyes were half opened. I waved and smiled at him and he waved at me too. He sat up and Cass brought the pancakes after she noticed our 'presence'.
We had the pancakes together and had a quad chat too. Cass talked about her new project, Liam talked about his convention and Omar talked about his work with nuts and engines and all. I just talked about making coffee and espresso.
What else would I talk about?
All through the while,I noticed Omar was a bit crooked. He wasn't the usual state he was always in. Less jovial and less talky. That was so unlike him. I new something was going on in that big brain of his that was more than making nuts and bolts. Omar asked Liam and Cass to give us some privacy and I knew I had hit the target.
I wonder what he wanted us to talk about.
"What? You want us to leave?", Cass all of a sudden shot us both an angry glare.
" I just wanna have sometime with Prim", Omar explained. "I need to talk to her about something plus I know she also wants to talk to me about something"
"Your house has many rooms", Cass raised an eyebrow. The drawn eyebrow.
"Cass", Liam jumped in. "What's the harm if we leave?"
"You wanna leave? Bye-bye... Well am staying here", she said and sat on the couch,crossed her legs and took a bite on her pancake.
" Let's just go upstairs", I held onto Omar's hand and pulled him upstairs.
The balcony! That's were I led him. I haven't been to the balcony since the first time I visited Omar.
A month ago.!
Days sure fly.
"The balcony?", he asked full of surprise as if the balcony was a remote island on planet moon.
"Why not the balcony? ", I asked back sliding the door that lead into the balcony. We got in and just stood. Not knowing what to do. I sat down and signaled for him to do it too.
"How are you? ", I asked.
"I've been thinking....",
"About...",
"About me.....", he said and stood up. He paced to and from the balcony until he stopped and leaned on it.
"You must be wondering why I told you later about my problem",
"You bet....",
"Well.....I didnt think it was necessary..... It would jeopardize my mission...", he explained.
"What mission?",
Seriously.... What mission? Was he going to war?
"Um....", he quickly turned around to look at me. I crossed my legs and my arms while leaning against the door. I raised an eyebrow at him and lowered the other.
" Well..... A mission... Let's just call it a mission for now",
I rolled my eyes. What was I to do in order to push the truth out of this guy.
"That's probably the reason I befriended you. So telling you everything would jeopardize my mission. At first it used to be okay but then something began happening along the way and I...",
" Hold on", I paused him
I heard something and I needed to verify that my hearing was still as good.
"What?", he asked a bit frightened. "That's why you befriended me? You being my friend was all a part of your plan? It wasn't natural? It was planned?", I raised my voice at him
I couldn't believe this. Omar was a huge mess.
All that was fake. It was his charade. His game. He planned all this. All this while I thought it was authentic. But no....had I known.
"It's not like that", he tried to back himself up.
" Oh really?",
"Okay I admit I befriended you before for a mission", he said quoting the word mission with his fingers ".. But now it's all different..."
I got up.I was so mad. How dare he? What do men think of themselves. Seriously? I was about to leave when he grabbed my hand.
"Please don't leave", he whispered. He seemed out of breath. I didnt care. Maybe this was part of his charade.
"Let go of my hand", I spoke without even sparing sometime to look at him. I then felt his hand squeezing mine. He was pulling me back. He was beginning to hurt me again.
"Omar...let me go", I squeaked trying to free myself from his grip.
"I said don't leave!", he violently turned me around and pinned me against the door.
The glass door!!
"Omar stop! The door could break and hurt me", I yelled at him but he couldn't hear me.
He was lost in his anger. Again!
He was having another convulsion. This time was worst than before. Me knowing about his problem made me a bit scared of Omar and it was unlikely that you would guess what he'll do next. I had no idea on what to do. I looked at him. His face changed. Into someone I didnt know. I was scared. So frightened. I literally felt my adrenaline being secreted and my heart was beating faster.
"Omar....am right here....I won't leave.... I really want to help you....let me help you", I began slowly as I put my hand on his cheek.
"I won't go....I won't go", I whispered the words making sure there's a gap in between for each of them to echo in his mind.
I slowly walked toward him and gave him a hug. I smiled when I felt his hands on my back. He hugged me tight. I felt good. I felt wanted. Like he really didn't want me to leave.
"Omar.....", I patted him on the back...signalling him to break the hug.
"Am so sorry Primrose...", he sighed. " Am nothing but a worthless person"
"Don't say that.... We are all useful",
I signalled him to sit down again. I figured Omar was having convulsions more often and I had to get to the bottom of it. Just now,he had one when I said I'll leave. Me leaving,had an impact on him meaning he didnt want me to leave. He was afraid of my departure.
Fear was one of the reasons he had an attack.
"Omar what are you so afraid of?",
"You....",
"Me?", I laughed. "I won't eat you"
"I know", he smiled.
"Please be honest with me....I want to help",
He nodded.
"Am so afraid...I fear you'll leave and never come back. That's why I never told you about it earlier. I didn't want to chase you away",
He sounded so sincere. Like a little boy asking for a cake. I looked at him but he was looking at he tiled floor. I held his hand in between mine.
"I won't leave....", I assured him. I was really not leaving. I just found my superman so where the heck would I be off to? I also had a mission of my own. Seems like this was no more friendship buy a war agreement. Mission after mission .
"Well.....why don't you want me to leave?", I asked,knowing I was provoking the bees.
This was the right time. I had to know what Omar felt for me. Was is TeamFriendZone or Team Girlfriend? I was looking at him expectantly. Waiting for him to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. He was still looking down and silent.
I got impatient. I wanted to ask again but I held it within.
Let me not make it obvious that I was expecting some particular answer from him.
We lay in silence for a while.
A complete quiet.
"... Because I like you....", he said as he slowly raised his eyes.
A stream of saliva filled my mouth and I choked on it as I swallowed. I coughed and it seemed as if I was coughing because of what he said.
" Am so sorry ",
I said covering my mouth with my palm.
" It's alright.....", he forced a smile. I could tell it was fake. It was extra wide. Wider than a grin. I seriously didn't know what to do. Or say. Omar likes me.
He damn likes me! This was a joyous moment and needed celebration. I smiled at him. I didnt want him to feel awkward. Should I tell him I like him too?
Well,that'd make him feel better. Just like how I feel but no.
Not now! Just not know!
Not yet!
It had to wait.
"Thanks Omar", I crawled to were he sat and gave him a hug.
============================
I walked into the place I worked. I was happy that I'll make some espresso but sadly Lizzie was still fire and ice with me. I really didn't know how to prove myself to her. Each time I looked at her,she'd always look away as if seeing me totally ruined her day. She constantly gave me ugly looks and I felt as if I was wearing dirty and nasty outfits that'd get me arrested once I was spotted by the government. She made me feel like I had committed a murder and it was so hard for her not to report to the police for some other reason and apparently the only way out was to give me dirty looks. I walked past her without giving her the satisfaction of seeing my pain. I knew what that would do to her and I didn't want that.
I waited in the kitchen for some customers but no one showed up yet. I looked at the door and noticed a man standing behind it. He was about to knock. I quickly ran to see him. He was a delivery man. A flower delivery man!! He was carrying roses. Different colours sprang in it and oh My God it was so beautiful. Each color was circled around another all the way to the centre.
Red,Orange,Pink,Yellow and white. OhMyGod it was so beautiful. I took the flowers and went in. I knew they were from Omar. I had that feeling.
"I'll take that", Lizzie suddenly took the flowers from my hands.
What the.....?
"You didn't think they were yours,did you?",she smirked "You already tried to snatch him away Primrose....have pity on these roses"
I have never been so embarrassed. I was certain they were for me. I had that feeling. I was certain. I just didn't know from whom they were.
"You had a feeling that boyfriend of yours sent them? Feelings Primrose.....it's about time you snapped out of that game plan and stepped into reality.... Tell him you need flowers every morning,I bet he'll be as perfect as my bear",
She walked away after driving a million thorns through my flesh. I swear I felt like strangling her right were she stood. I was so going to rip her throat off. I wanted to answer back. I wanted to yell at her so badly.....but I couldn't. I still loved her as much. Still loved her a lot. I knew she was in trouble and I had to help her.
I walked into the bathroom and teared up.
"It feels so good to see you cry....",
I knew that voice. The devil's own voice.
"Are those tears of joy perhaps?", she giggled and put her hand on her mouth. I could see her from the reflection in the mirror I was facing.
" Don't mess with me little one. I was hurt when you said I have a dirty mind. So...I'll show you just how dirty my mind can get", she walked toward me and pulled my hair.
"Ouch!",
" Yeah...you better groan...I promise you this Primrose Gerardia, This is only the begging, I won't stop until I see you rot in front of me. Until you beg for forgiveness.... Until you admit that you won't ever try and act smart with me again", she threw me against the wall and left.
My forehead hit the wall so hard and I got a bruise. I shut my eyes while slowly waiting for the pain to slide away. I got up and washed the bruise. I didn't want to dress it as it'd attract much attention. I gathered my strength and went back to the restaurant. I didn't have Lizzie anymore to cast all my burdens upon so I just have to make sure I was there for myself. I looked at Natasha and she was busy enjoying the coffee that Lizzie had made. It should have been me in her place. It should have been ME...
For every tear I shed,every heart break and pain...you will pay Natasha..
This I promise you too!
******
2 days later
*****
"Gather around everyone", Mr McGreg, the owner of the restaurant I work in,called us all right before we started work.
He told us to show up early than usual.
"I am so pleased that after I attended the conference with Primrose,I finally got the deal!",
"Woo-Hoo", we cheered and clapped. I was so proud of Mr McGregg. His dream was finally coming true.
He was now going to be thinking if national level errands.
Not one city anymore.
"... And my thanks goes to Primrose...the girl who made it all happen", he smiled and offered me his hand to follow him up front.
I took his hand and stood beside him.
The rest of my co workers clapped for me. Even my frenemies.
I smiled as Mr McGregg said all nice things about my personality and abilities. He really looked up to me and I was caught by surprise.
I never knew he looked at me that way. I was so proud of myself. He even announced I was going to be his lead waitress throughout the contracted dates.
OhMyGod! Such an opportunity!
I was so impressed.
" Primrose...you are number one!", the inner me whispered.
"I sure am", I whispered back.
After a few minutes Mr McGregg dismissed the assembly and we went back to our daily duties.
In the kitchen I was..... making some espresso for a customer. Marvin came in with another order.
" One Hazel Macchiato", he screamed on the kitchen window.
"Coming right uuu...", I paused after my brain decided to compute that again to prove I heard it correctly. Hazel Macchiato? Oh my God!! Was it on the menu now? I was so proud of Lizzie.!
" Is it on the menu now?", I asked delightedly...
"Why....you jealous?", someone asked from behind and I quickly span myself around to look at who it was. Natasha. She was with Lizzie and Tony. The Evil Trio I have to put up with everyday.
" No.....I just wanted to say it's incredible. Am proud of you Lizzie", I smiled at her.
"Thanks", she folded her arms across her chest and took dainty steps toward me.
" Incredibly amazing.....so much more on my plate.....", she said and moved her hand across my face.
She slowly touched my hair and before I knew it she reached for my ribbon and pulled it out. Harshly Making my curls fall all the way down my back.
"Ouch!", I reached for her hand. I wanted to squeeze it but.....I couldn't. It was Lizzie's hand. My best friend's hand.
" Too bad your boyfriend isn't here to save you this time", Natasha gave out a smug.
"Watch your mouth okay", I pointed a finger at her.
" Easy tigress.. ", Lizzie said putting her arm around my neck reminding me of the good times we used to have and all the fun therein. This time it was different. I was the enemy and she was the friend
"... Just because you are Waitress of the month...doesn't mean you can intimidate us around here",
I quickly dusted her hand off of me. They were being obnoxiously mean now. They were taking advantage of me and I was hating it. Just because they were three against one didn't guarantee that they'll win. Definitely not. I knew I would win against them in one bit,but I thought it right to make ends meet. I thought I would make amends but seemed they weren't ready for it. I wanted us to have a happy ending but seemed they longed for more than that. I will give them what they want. A piece of their medicine. I walked out of their presence and went to the bathroom.
I washed my face. I often did that whenever I felt miserable and it really helped me. I convinced myself not to let go.
I couldn't be weak about this.
I needed to be strong. Strong for Lizzie.
These evil grunts needed to be thrown off the picture.
Completely off the picture.
I slowly walked out of the bathroom while devising a plan in my mind.
".... to the sun and back...I consider myself a man of luck.... Because since I met you....I've been more glamorous than I ever was...", I heard Lizzie read a note right in front of Tony
" You got this for me? ", she asked getting cozy already.
What is wrong with us women?
Those are just words on a paper.
" anything for you....you're very special", he replied while petting her hair.
What is she? A dog?
"Aww.! I love you Tony", she suddenly crossed her arms around his neck and slipped her face through the hollow of his shoulder and drove him into an embrace which seemed cold to me as he only had his hands on her back.
"The world's best couple", Natasha clapped and smiled. I knew she was doing it so I could feel the thorns. Luckily for me,I only feel thorns when Omar's involved. If not, I feel like a little gonzo on the moon having strawberry ice cream. Of course with chocolate topping. I walked out of their midst but Natasha grabbed my hand so strongly that her nails chipped some of my flesh.
"Hey!", I snapped. "What?"
"Don't you wanna take pictures with our best couple?",
"Best??", I asked as if I didn't get her right.
"You got me right", she emphasized as though she read my mind.
"Who are you fooling? There's more to best than being best in it self. And trust me...I don't see it near here", I waved my hand at Lizzie and Tony. They both gasped after what I just said.
"Surprised? Don't be....the day he'll be able to spill the truth in front of her. ...that he's only dating her to get back at me... and when she accepts him after that....I swear I'll tag them best.... Now...they're just playing hide and seek... Tony's hiding...and it's getting hard for Lizzie to find him...",
"Primrose!!!!", Lizzie flared up.
"Angry?", I smirked "I never knew the truth really hurt until today..."
"Get out!",
"Believe me I was on my way out....", I raised my voice back at her while trying hard to hide my tears from her. I couldn't believe she said that to me. Did she hate me that much? So much that she couldn't stand seeing me?
"Just tell your friend,to keep her nose out of my business. It's gonna be for the best", I went out. Full of anger and pain. I ran my fingers on my head and then put my hands on my waist. I was done. I couldn't understand anything anymore.
Why?
Why was this still happening? Why wasn't it over yet? When would it even get over?
Oh Lord.....
Why couldn't Lizzie see things how I saw them? I kicked the bin that lay in front of me. I threw myself down and wept. I was tired,sick and mad.
I had to bring an end to this. To all this. To all this!
I had to.