I finished hugging my family, to which they moved off to one side of the podium but still close by, I notice as I reprocesstion the microphone and turn my walker to seat that every one begins to quiet down and takes their seats. Amber thoughtful puts the breaks on my walker as I had forgotten in the excitement of this moment, she had noticed it had started to roll away from the podium, feeling speechless, as I am so deeply touched were do I start.
"Thank you" I start with followed by a silent moment taking a deep breathe.
"I am overwhelmed with this show of support, truly touched" I lift up my right hand and place it over my heart.
"Deeply blessed by this honour" pausing again to keep composer.
"However I can not accept all of this gesture myself, I feel my Dad humbly left out how they as my parents, and maybe I am bias here but I feel they did a wonderful job in raising me right." I move my right arm from placed on my chest to motion towards Dad and begin speaking again. "I really think some of that standing ovation and applause belong to them."
The audience surprised me and repeated the thundering applause and standing ovation, as I too get up from my walker and clap as I take some steps with out the walker to hug my Dad again. In our hug I notice he has started crying. I am not doing well myself. I return to seat on my walker and continue with the speech.
"Thank you" this time I am looking at my family then every one else.
"I am bewildered as tonights appreciation has moved me to the point of tears, some joyful some sorrowful, I do feel like my Mom has had her spirit here tonight to appreciate this recognition"
I take a breathe then a drink of water. Grateful the walker has a cup holder for the water bottle.
"I feel she has been my graudain angel throughout this ordeal, my recovery is still on going and my future still unclear, however this motivational show of support deepens my resolve, I will continue to strive for a return to this family of racers."
I look around the banquet hall, I see smiling faces and some tears, most of us have raced each other for years. You develop so much respect when you see them three times in a week, for practice, qualifying and the race, it's a bond I didn't realize was there until I almost wasn't here.
"I am not sure how to communicate how deeply touched, truly honored,or just how grateful that I am, to not just be alive, but to witness this very touching well made tribute."
I need to take another drink, as I continue to struggle with my composer, I really don't know what else to say but thank you.
I feel like I should some how be more inspiring then just repeating how touched and grateful I am. Gratitude is important but shouldn't I have more to offer, after all I was on deaths door, my body very broken but determination and dedication to this industry was still strong.
"I guess this is the part I need to be inspiring for all in attendance and watching at home."
I laugh a little, take a sip, take a breath and continue the speech.
"On an encouraging note, my dreams came true, the early years racing with my best friend who is more like my brother, some how winning a race while crashing wasn't part of the dream, but that was the race I hadn't won yet, the delight of winning the championship, knowing an incredible team and boss who helps us to be inspired so we can give our best, which in life we should strive for everyday, as I have learned from my recent experience, we never know what day will be our last, we must allow ourselves to follow our dreams, the hard work is worth it, follow your heart, it's worth it, fast or slow no matter the path make sure it is the right one for you."
I should wrap it up before I completely get to choked up.
"Thank you again for all of your kindness tonight, Thank you so much for your visits, cards, gifts, encouragement and support over this difficult road to recovery, Thank you all so much" I stand up and lift the trophy. Yet another standing ovation, I let some tears flow with applause.
My family along with Amber come in for a photo, Tony helps hold the trophy up, then a photo with the girls holding it in front of me, then they go back stage and my team comes up for a photo. I don't know how long we did the photoshoot but I was feeling sore and tired.
I am glad Amber packed in the wheelchair space, she drives me home and helps me up to bed. As I struggle due to my pain and exhaustion, she took off my shoes and put my legs up into the bed, I feel like I fall asleep before she leaves the room, but when I awake some time in the night to go to the washroom I noticed she is curled up on the chair with a blanket over her, she didn't even leave my room. She looks so peaceful I try my best to stay silent and not wake her.
I manged to get back to bed with out disturbing her, soon I am back asleep myself. What an incredible night, a beautiful surprise tribute much like you would see with the lifetime achievement honor, it really has been a impressive career, accomplishments I am proud of, if my doctor doesn't clear me to drive, then at least I had tonight, but those are thoughts for another day. As I find myself just simply reliving tonight in my dream, wish I could have slept holding that trophy but boss took it to the race shop, it does belong there as it does belong to all of us.