MARC WYND
AFTER that confrontation inaya ko silang lumabas, ignoring the pain in my heart. Iniisip kong wala nalang akong narinig, o mas tamang ayaw kong makinig, ayaw kong maniwala sa sinagot niya. I want to enjoy our vacation and the Paris France breathtaking places. We need to be happy dahil iyon ang pinangako ko sa kanila, I won't be the cause of my wife's sadness as well as my child.
Naglalakad kami ngayon sa dagat ng tao, to the most romantic squares in Paris, Place Dauphine. Marami kaming nakakasalamuhang ibat-ibang lahi ng tao, papahapon na kasi kaya nagsilabasan na ang mga turista, mga katulad naming gustong gumala at makita ang mga momuments and landmarks in here, it's timeless grandoise and beauty.
Habang naglalakad ay napapaisip pa din ako, tila sirang plaka sa pandinig ko ang mga katagang binitiwan ni Kaele. Mga pahiwatig niyang alam kong tama pero pakiramdam ko'y mali, sobrang isang pagkakamali.
"Daddy, you're spacing out!" Nakangusong hayag ng anak ko, maririnig ko sa boses niya ang pagkainis. "Daddy! Daddy!"
Napabaling tuloy ang tingin ko sa kanya, he's beside me, tinitingala ako naghihintay ng aking isasagot.
Nangunot tuloy ang noo ko, was he talking to me?
GD seems pissed though. "What is it baby? Saying something?" I asked stupidly, nangiwi pa nong lumabi ang anak ko.
Wala kasi sa kanya ang akinf atensiyon, nagliliwaliw kasi ang utak ko sa sinabi ni Kaele kagabi, pinipilit ko namang kalimutan pero masakit talaga ang mga katang binitiwan niya sa'kin, tumatatak sa kadulo-duluhang parte ng puso ko.
Malalim akong napabuntong-hininga. Lalong sumama ang mukha ng anak ko sa naging tugon ko. He darted his accusing glare at me.
"MOMMY KAELE! SI DADDY HINDI NAKIKINIG SA JOKE KO, HINDI KO SIYA BATI!" He complained tapos minasdan na si Kaele, nagsusumbong. Pati ako ay napatingin sa kanya na sa ngayo'y tahimik lang, which is so unusual dahil pareho silang madaldal ng anak ko. She messed the hair of GD, sabay kurot sa pisngi ng anak naming nakapout parin.
"Korny kasi bhie, isip ka pa ng mas benta." She tease sabay tumawa, but I know behind that loud laughters, it's all fake. "C'mon baby, you always know that Daddy listens very well right, slow lang talaga siya sa joke mo."
My son face me, still pouting bigla ring ngumisi. "Hindi po ba talaga nakakatawa ang joke ko? Akala ko pa naman funny iyon, scam pala ang napanuod kong videos sa youtube." He uttered sabay kamot pa ng buhok.
I smile widely at him, sighing. "I still love you, son."
He grins back at me. "Are you okay po ba?"
I wish. "I am."
GD frowned when he heard my answer. "Sure? Nandito lang po kami ni Mommy, still loving you."
Maang akong napatitig sa mukha ng anak ko, katulad din sa sinabi ni Kaele, 'nandito lang kami' pero hanggang kailan iyon? Hanggang kailan kayo sa tabi ko?
Mapapagod kayong intindihin ako, iiwan niyo rin akong mag-isa dahil sabi nga ni Kaele iyon ang tama, dahil hindi na kami pwede and Elicia kept on pestering me, alam kong hindi magtatagal ay makokorner niya na ako, ibabalik na naman niya ako sa pangangalaga niya, pipilitin na naman niya akong gawin ang ayaw na ayaw ko, she will do all the things and ways to make me away from you two.
So how will I be okay? I regreted that day when I left you and sumama sa kanya.
So how will I be okay? I regreted that day when I abandoned you and left with Elicia, that was my biggest mistake.
Umiwas nalang ako ng mata at pinermi ang tingin ko sa kawalan, my hearts been throbbing from pain, avoiding my son's confrontations.
The undeniable awkward moment was cut when Kaele butted in, tila nilalayo kami sa topikong yaon. "Kumain na muna tayo, Marc."
"OH YES SO HUNGRY NA AKO!" GD exclaimed habang hinihimas pa ang kanyang tiyan.
"Tatata!" He said in a singsong.
I brought them to the nearest cafe where you can overview the Eiffel tower, gustong-gusto don ni GD. Kumakain na sila at masaya siyang nakikipag-usap kay GD. Kinuhanan niya din ng mag-ina niya at background nilaa ng napakatayog na Eiffel, I posted it on my IG, with caption: Happy day wiv my loves! #family #kaele #GD #complete.
Nagusap kami ni Kaele na tila walang nangyari, magana siyang nakikipagbiruan sa anak ko, her laughters are music to my ear, I was just watching them while they banter and teases back. How I can see their beautiful smile and eyes telling me that they are happy, happy to be with me. Nakapagkit na sa isipan ko ang mga halakhak nila, ang masaya nilang mukha. My eyes stings thinking at that, tila pinong kirot sa puso ko ang hatid non. Ayaw kong mawala ang kung ano man ang meron kami sa ngayon, ngayon lang ulit ako nakadama ng kasiyahan matapos ang ilang taon, sa piling lang nila ako magiging masaya at hinding-hindi ko na uulitin ang pagsama kay Elicia, nilalayo niya ako sa mag-ina ko, tila ba tinatraydor ko sila, tinatalikuran.
My phone suddenly beep, napatingin agad si Kaele dahil don, gazing me with her knowing look. Agad akong umiwas ng tingin, clearing my throat.
Fvck she's calling me again! Natatarantang napatayo ako mula sa'king kinauupuan na naglikha ng ingay kaya napatingin sa'kin ang ilang estrangherong nandirito pero wala sa kanila ang paki ko, I excused myself to Kaele iba na kasi ang tingin niya sa'kin, I know her.
"Go Marc, go away!" She replied na mas lalong ikinanginig ng mga tuhod ko.
Mariin akong napapikit ng aking mga mata, natatakot.
'Fvck pinagtatabuyan niya na naman ako, this is so bad!' My head screams.
Nong marinig ko ulit ang pagtunog ng aking telepono ay naiinis akong tumalikod at deri-deritsong pumasok sa palikuran ng naturang cafe, answering this fvcked-up call coming from her, Elicia.
I shouted frustatedly at her, not minding if some guys stilled and looj at me. "ELICIA STOP CALLING YOU PIECE OF SH—"
She cutted my words. "YOU SHUT UP, MARC! AKO ANG TUMAWAG SAYO KAYA AKO ANG MAUUNANG MAGSALITA! COME BACK NOW OR I WILL DRAG YOU MYSELF! PARIS HUH?"
I was rooted in place. "HOW? Oh fvck! You saw my—"
She chuckled in mockery. "Yeahyeahyeah XB. Kaya kung ako sa'yo umuwi kana at tigilan mo na ang—
Nangagalawan na ang ugat ko sa kamay sa pagpipigil ng galit. I wanted to wring her neck. "You crazy woman! Tigilan mo na ako, kami ni Kaele! I ama happy being with her, so stop meddling and stay the fuck out of my way. Hindi ikaw ang kailangan ko, hindi ko iiwan ang aking mag-ina. So stop this Elicia, just stop kontento na ako—"
"PUNYETA MARC! CAN YOU FVCKIN HEAR YOURSELF? YOU SCREWED PIECE OF SHIT! IKAW ANG TUMIGIL! UMUWI KANA DIT—"
I cut off the line, I don't wanna hear her stupid rants, her assumptions. I angrily throw my phone in the hard wall, making it shattered and broken.
Napasabunot at napasandal sa malamig na pader, raging and unhappy.
"Fvck! Can't she fvckin stay away from my life? She's ruining me again!" I unmindingly uttered in piss. Tila siya isang bahagi ng nakaraan kung ayaw balikan pero nagpupumilit manakit.
Elicia is the woman who wanted to ruin my sanity! I open the faucet and wash my face roughly, wanting to stop my brain to overthink, Elicia's words shouldn't affect me this much, hindi ka dapat magpatinag Marc.
Hindi ngayon, bukas, hindi kailanman. I mumble reapetedly, inuukilkil ko sa'king utak. Walang babalik, kung kailangan kong magtago ng matagalan ay gagawin ko, hindi lang ako makita ni Elicia, siya ang kontrabida sa buhay ko! Kinuha ko ang aking panyo, pinupunasan ang buo kong mukha, staring at my paled face, my sad eyes yet still there's still the hint of stuborness as it gaze back at me.
How can I escape her? What's your plan now, Marc hindi ka pweding mapaisailalim ulit sa babaeng iyon, look what it did to you and Kaele's now, willing na siyang iwanan ako, siya pa ang nagtataboy sa'kin palayo, papalapit kay Elicia and that's a big NO!
Hindi ko na sila iiwanan pa, never again not in a lifetime. I even shook my head in disagreement.
I hurriedly fixed my messy state, hindi dapat mahalata ni Kaele ang pagkabalisa ko, it will surely add the rate of her wanting me to be away, malayo sa kanila. I intently stared at my reflection, sighing deeply.
Saktong papalabas na at bubuksan na sana ang pinto nong may nauna non, nagkagulatan pa kami dahil nasagi non ang aking kamay, only to see Klaive.
Fvck not again! I wanted to get out and be out of this suffocating room pero nahigit niya ang hininga ko nong bumuka ang kanyang mga labi at umusal ng mga kataga.
He blocked my way. "Marc pare kamusta? Your here too, good to see you, mate."
Halos pigil ang aking hininga, nit wanting to talk to him but I have to, he's a good friend of ours. We handshake, firmly tinapik niya pa ng marahan ang balikat ko. Malapit silang magkaibigan simula nong kabataan namin, he saw me and Kaele together mula sa umpisa hanggang—
I was interupted when he spoke again. "Hey, you okay Marc pare? San ka ba naka-stay?" He ask and I was hesitant to answer. "Argh can you please excuse me for a while? I neer to pee, we'll talk, just wait for me outside."
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag at tumango, agad na lumabas para makasagap ng hangin, tila kinakapos ako ng hangin sa katawan, why are they ganging up on me right now? Bakit sabay-sabay silang nagpapakita at nagpaparamdam sa'kin ngayon? How is it over coincedence to happened, why do I need to see them, talk to them again? Nasapo ko ang aking nanakit na ulo, menamasahe ng marahan habang nagiisip hindi nagtagal ay bumungad na sa'kin si Klaive, smiling wide.
"So it's been a while huh? How are you?" He asked me those simple questions pero ramdam ko ang bikig sa'king lalamunan, ayaw kong sumagot. Nagsimula na kaming maglakad pabalik sa'ming mga upuan, walking slowly to converse.
"I am okay, I guess?" Kahit ako naririnig sa aking boses ang walang kasiguraduhan I cleared my throat. "I am fine, really okay."
"That's good then, ilang taon narin—"
I don't wanna hear it. "Oh sinong kasama mo Klaive? Were with your family?" Agad na pagiwas ko ng topiko, faking my reaction as he stares at me. I remained my smiling facade, not wanting him to see me miserable.
"Well I am with Matie, hindi sumama si Merioce ayaw niya daw dito kaya kami nalang ng anak ko ang nagbakasyon." I can hear the bitterness when he said those words, well hindi naman tago sa'ming magkakaibigan ang totoong sitwasyon ni Kalive asawang ne'to, he has a hard time winning the heart of Merioce. "She still 'that' good to me." He said in mockery more of himself.
Nailing nalang ako, well he has his own fvcked-up story. Ang mahalin ang isang tao na may minamahal ng iba, ni hindi ka nga kayang gustuhin, and that's so fvcking screwed hindi ko alam kung pa'no natiis iyon ni Klaive, so fvcking too much.
"Naah but that's not even new, you know her, Merioce. But Matiel is here so it doesn't bother me anymore, sa anak ko nalang ibubuhos ang pagmamahal ko." He sigh deeply, napailing din. Staring at the nowhere, maybe like me he has this fear on his heart yet the love we have still arises and never surrender kahit gaano kasakit at gaano kahirap iyon. We will never ever admit our defeat, hindi!
hindi galing sa'kin dahil walang susuko!
Nailing nalang ako. "Well that what it makes us, loving our wives so deeply as well as our child, kahit anong mangyari hindi niyon kayang iwaski na sobra natin silang mahal at walang bagay sa mundo na makakapantay non." I said ironically.
He surely get what I mean. "That's right, pero I want you to be happy Marc, yong totoo talaga."
The last words was not even that loud to be heard, tila halos hindi na iyon dumating sa pandinig ko.
I nodded in agreement, pero sa loob-loob ko'y nareregondon ang puso ko. "Sana ikaw din, I know how much you love your wife. Sana ganon din siya sa'yo dahil you also deserve the real happiness, mate." I patted his shoulder lightly, he then added. "And I pray for that one, ang makita ko ulit ang kasiyahan ko." I sadly uttered.
We both sighs and chuckles in unison after that. "We are so fvcked-up, loving too much and yet we can't be fully happy."
Klaive didn't replied pero alam kong sangayon siya. "By the way, Marc. Elicia uhm...I am not offending you or something but she kept on calling me, not just me but the whole squad and she's looking for you, she wanted to know where you are, demanded all of us to tell her the truth, are you—"
I butted in, clenching my jaw in annoyance, I gritted my teeth under as I talk. "Let her, wala na naman iyong magawa sa buhay, she's pestering me again. I am okay Klaive iyon ang tandaan niyo, hindi ko siya kailangan." I emphasize pertaining to Elicia. He looks at me a quite seconds before he finally say a word.
Tinapik ng marahan ang balikat ko, nodding his head. "Just talk to us if you need something nandito lang naman kami para sa'yo Marc, hindi ka namin iiwanan. We will always be here, huwag mong sarilin lahat ng problema mo, you can count on us, kay Kaidden o kahit sa iba pa."
Napatango ako dahil don but in my head I was screaming NO, hindi ako lalapit sa kanila I don't wanna add their burden, may kanya-kanya kaming problemang bitbit at hindi na ako makikiambag sa pasakit nila. I can endure it myself, hangang nandito sila Kaele, I am okay.
"Well, I'll be goin' now, I left Matie and maybe she's looking for me, hindi na ako magtatagal, mate. Iniwan ko kasi siya sa labas eh, pano alis na muna ako." We do our handshake again, smiling.
"Okay, say hi for me to Matie, enjoy your vacation Klaive pauwi na kasi kami bukas eh. Bye, babalik na ako sa kanila." I said pero agad kong gusto pagsisihan iyon dahil sinuri ako ng mariin ni Klaive. "Uhm sige pare."
I wave at his stunned face, tumalikod na ako at dideritso na sa kung saan sila Kaele.
"Who's with you Marc?" He said in a unsure voice, suspicious. Saglit akong napatigil sa paglalakad pero hindi ko na siya nilingon.
Sighing deeply. "I am with Kaele and GD." I answered back pero hindi ko alam kung narinig niya pa iyon I just continue walking around the cafe, sa dulong parte.
"What the fvck! MARC! MARC! SHIT—"
"DADDY KLAIVE! I AM HERE PO!" I can hear Matie's scream. Hindi ko na narinig ang iba pang sasabihin nila dahil mabilis akong naglakad para makaiwas na kay Klaive, baka hinihintay na ako ng mag-ina ko, kanina pa ako nawala.
I saw them, talking and smiling wide I headed my way to their spot, smiling like nothing is fvcking bothering my head. "Sorry, I was tangled with someone, si Klaive babe nandito sila ni Matie." I informed her pero tumango lang siya at hindi na nagsalita.
"MATIE? WHERE IS SHE, DADDY?! I WANNA PLAY WITH HER!" My son squeeled in excitement when he hear Matie's name, sila kasing dalawa ang magka-edad dahil sabi nga ng mga kaibigan ko, maaga kaming naglandi. "I miss Matie!"
"I miss you too!" I mumbled and mess his hair. "I love you very much, Kaele and GD, Daddy loves you so much." I held Kaele's cold hand, squeezing it firmly. "I am sorry, I won't leave you." I whispered on her ear not wanting GD to hear that.
"Never again..."
clxgdgrn
A/N: malapit na! 3 chaps to go and it's done. Sept.30.2020🔅 well you can read Klaive's short story (Death Note), natapos ko na siya actually, try reading it baka magustuhan niyo din😁.